


The Fight Of The Broken

by Lady_Monozuki



Series: Fight of the Broken [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha Yuri Plisetsky, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, Forced Abortion, Forced Prostitution, Human Trafficking, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapping, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Omega Verse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Rape/Non-con, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Yuri Plisetsky, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2018-10-11 00:53:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 39
Words: 159,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10451358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Monozuki/pseuds/Lady_Monozuki
Summary: Life had been on standstill for Viktor Nikiforov. He did everything he could to keep up appearances, but the disappearances of Yuuri Katsuki and Yuri Plisetsky had destroyed him.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I live for angst. And wanted to try my hand at something new. I will do my best to try and warn people about potential triggers. But just be warned that anxiety and depression will be a common thing throughout the story.

Life had been on standstill for Viktor for two years. For appearances sake, he kept up with the day-to-day drudgery required of being an international figure-skating celebrity. However, it had been two years since he last did anything genuinely. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t have made each interview, skated competitively, or even bothered with the outside world. Because for Viktor Nikiforov, now seven time world champion and two-time Olympic gold medalist, none of it mattered.

His world had ended two years ago. Every day was the same. He would try to forget the emotion, the pain he felt from the moment his life had changed.

 

-Two Years Ago, St. Petersburg-

Life couldn’t have been more perfect. After one season of absence, Viktor had announced his return to the competitive figure skating world. He accepted the challenges of both training for the upcoming season and acting as a coach. If anyone could pull it off, it would be Viktor Nikiforov.

The feat sounded impossible, even to those who knew him best.

What people didn’t know was that Viktor had the best and easiest student to work with. He rarely had to correct Yuuri Katsuki’s programs when it came to spins and artistic elements. The movements seemed to flow naturally. They still trained hard though, working on jumps and interpretation. Sometimes Yuuri’s nerves kept him from channeling the right emotion as they worked through the movement.

Viktor was the opposite. He didn’t have to work on his jumps as hard and interpretation, but needed to refine his spins and artistic elements. Together, they made a great team and often gave each other pointers on their programs. It was always received well because they had a level of trust in their relationship—both professional and personal.

Because Viktor and Yuuri were more than just a coach and student, rink mates, and competitors: they were soul mates. They couldn’t stand to be separated for more than a few hours. It was nauseating to some—especially Yuri Plisetsky. But in their world, everything was perfect.

He sighed happily. He knew his soul mate was watching him from outside the ice. Viktor’s time with Yuuri was split, something that was unavoidable given the number of professional skaters they shared a rink with in addition to their own training. He warmed up slowly, knowing that no matter how much he would love to show off, it wasn’t a good idea to push his body.

After all, he was just returning to the competitive field after being away for so long. The only reason he had been able to get away with it was because he was Viktor Nikiforov, Russia’s hero. Everyone was willing to bend over backwards to make him happy. He knew when to take advantage of that. This was one of those cases.

Both Yuri’s were now side by side and talking quietly amongst themselves. As much as the younger Yuri said he hated the older one, the two of them had a lot of casual conversations that didn’t involve heads being bitten off. His beautiful Yuuri seemed to be the only one at the rink who could get complete non-profanity filled sentences out of the Ice Tiger of Russia.

His smile when he saw the two of them interacting grew. “Stop looking at your fiancé, Vitya.”

Viktor turned to the person who had addressed him: Yakov. He offered a disarming smile.

“Can’t help it. He’s so wonderful.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. He’s the light of your life. Now start going through your choreography or I’m going to give your time to someone else.”

Viktor complied, knowing that it wasn’t an empty threat. Despite wanting to spend all day with his fiancé, he had to work. There would be time for them later. He already had some ideas of what they could do after practice.

 

-Present Day, St. Petersburg-

Viktor laced up his skates while listening to music. It eased the anxiety he felt whenever he came to practice. But the fear inside of him never fully went away. No one two years ago would have believed that Viktor Nikiforov would suffer from anxiety. After all, it was his student who was best known for breaking down while skating while he exuded confidence.

How quickly things changed.

He pulled out the headphones and put them in his bag. Viktor tugged on a pair of black gloves and headed out to the ice to begin warming up. Excluding the numerous security guards, only three other people were at the rink at this hour. The first was Yakov, who had already put in two hours with another skater by the time Viktor arrived. Georgi was cooling down from his training and Mila had just arrived to begin her warm-ups.

He did a few laps around the rink in silence. It was unnerving, but routine by now. Instead of Georgi and Mila, both his Yuuri and Yurio would have been there with him. But this was a different time. Those were supposed to be distant memories.

But they weren’t. They would always be at the surface.

“Start going through your short program,” Yakov called. His voice wasn’t nearly as harsh as it used to be. This was more of a request rather than a firm command. Mila joked this was because Yurio was no longer spreading his teenage angst around the rink. But they all knew it was more than that. They never talked about it though. Viktor still complied.

It was in the middle of his third run through of his short program when Yakov’s phone went off. Viktor snapped out of practice mode. His coach never allowed phones during practice. No one had broken that rule since Yurio.

More memories that shouldn’t be bubbling to the surface, but he couldn’t help it. Victor had been off for the past the past month and everyone knew why. Still, they ignored the problem. Not that he minded. If he talked about it, he might break. More than he had already.

Yakov pulled out the device and stared at the number. Viktor didn’t miss the older man’s shock or the clenching around the phone.

“Keep working. I’ll be back shortly.”

It was even stranger the other had left the area. He did his best to ignore his growing anxiety, but something was wrong. Viktor tried to skate his short program from the top, but knew he was off. After missing his opening jump combination, he restarted the music and tried again.

Again. Again. _Again_.

“Viktor,” someone called. He couldn’t tell who it was though. Everything was wrong and he couldn’t do anything to stop it from feeling that way. Viktor took off into his quad-triple combination, but it was off.

He, predictably, fell on his attempt. It was only then that he realized how heavily he was breathing, how much sweat was pouring off his face, how exhausted he felt. Someone had tried to warn him before his fall. It was too little, too late.

_Just like it was then_.

“Viktor,” that same person called again. He recognized the voice as Mila’s. She had skated out to him, offering a hand that he could grab on to. He accepted and was led off the ice.

“Thanks,” he panted. Viktor wiped the sweat off his face with a towel that Georgi offered him. He then took the water bottle and drank all its contents.

“Are you all right?” Georgi asked quietly.

_No_.

“Yes.” It came out harsher than he meant. He could tell neither of them believed him, but they kept their opinions to themselves.

“Viktor,” Mila started. He didn’t want to hear their pity. If he wanted that, he could find any person on the street. “Your left leg is slipping into the inside edge just a few seconds before you take off. So you’re originally positioned for a lutz, but trying to go into a flip without the three turn.”

_What_?

“Are you...correcting my skating?” he asked, looking at her face properly. She didn’t look at him with pity. A proud smirk stretched on her face.

“Well, as amusing as it was to watch you fall on your ass,” she started, grin getting wider with each word, “It wouldn’t do you any good to have kept trying.” She had resorted to thoughtful and caring.

Mila stood at the entrance of the ice. She positioned herself awkwardly. “This is what you look like when you take off.” Mila then shifted into a new position. “And this is how you look when you land.”

Viktor could see it very well. He landed on the wrong edge of his skate. Which messed up his take off for the triple. No wonder he had fallen so many times.

“Good thing Yakov didn’t see that,” he muttered.

“I almost wish he had,” Georgi said playfully. He pouted at Georgi’s words. “It’s been too long since Viktor Nikiforov had to do basics.”

Whenever a skater kept getting stuck on an element, Yakov would make them run through level one skills until they perfected them. Then they would be allowed to practice the next skill level. It was an exercise that took all week to complete, if Yakov was feeling generous.

Viktor went back on the ice and played his music one more time. When his opening combination came, he worked hard to keep his leg on the outside edge before taking off into the air. He landed it, though shakily so he made the next jump a double.

It wasn’t perfect, but at least he hadn’t fallen this time.

The rest of his program flowed better than the first half. His jumps were shaky at best. If someone had said Viktor Nikiforov wouldn’t be confident in his jumps now, they would have laughed.

Now, they would suck in their breath and hope he made it. He looked like a shadow of his former self in terms of skating. But he could still win. That was all that mattered to his sponsors, to the Skater’s Federation. Victor Nikiforov was still useful.

He could still win competitions.

Every one just pushed him closer to his next breaking point.

 

-Present Day, Unknown-

 Yuri Plisetsky knew they had a limited amount of time to make his plan work. It had taken him months to figure out this idea and now was the only time he would be able to go through with it. The clock turned to 11:56.

Time for the shift change.

Yuri gathered the heavy bundle across from his cot. He pulled it close to his body, knowing he had to protect it at all costs or else this attempt wouldn’t be worth it.

It took him thirty seconds to adjust for the new weight and make sure he had an arm on both objects secured underneath the ragged blankets. Yuri spent just five seconds walking across the room and ten to open the door and walk out of the miserable place he had been in for god knows how long.

A quick glance around the area showed no one in the immediate vicinity so he executed the remaining part of his plan: to run like hell.

Yuri knew the next guard would inspect his place at exactly midnight. He had three minutes to put as much distance as he could between this place and his next destination. Not that he had a specific place in mind—just something other than this hellhole. He hadn’t been able to explore much given the time constraints. But he knew of one place they could slip through.

It was just on the other side of the giant complex.

Two years ago, his escape plan would’ve been an easier feat. Back then, he had regular access to food, water, and training facilities to help his endurance.

Now, he was too thin and had given his last meal to another person. They needed it more, Yuri reasoned. And they did. He argued that he would be fine without the food. Which, in retrospect, was not his smartest decision.

But he hadn’t anticipated the guards skipping a meal. So it had been two days since he last ate. He tried not to breathe too loudly, knowing there were still patrols around.

The longer he could go undetected, the higher chance he would have of getting out of there. Alarms started blaring. A curse slipped from his mouth. Just a little bit longer before they were outside the compound. One of the objects in his arms started to move.

“Stay still,” he growled quietly.

The object stilled. He didn’t know which one he had spoken to, but was glad they responded all the same.

Yuri kept going forward, knowing that if he didn’t get on the other side of the compound, going back would mean a much crueler reality than the one they had been facing.

He couldn’t put them through that again. Yuri had promised. And he kept his promises.

Yuri was panting heavily now. His legs had a familiar burn.

_Just a little bit more_.

One of the objects started moving again. He could feel everything in his body burning, aching. Behind him, he could hear voices shouting to search everywhere for him.

He slipped them through a broken fence that separated them from the rest of the world. Yuri kept going. Every time he met a dead end, he turned around and went a new direction. Every second mattered and each time Yuri found himself facing another concrete wall, it meant those chasing him would be one step closer to recapturing him.

His body was on high alert, listening to the sounds of chaos behind him. Soon, they were growing quieter. Yuri didn’t honestly know if this meant he was getting closer to safety or if they were soon going to be able to take him back to the compound.

Either way, he couldn’t stop his pace—no matter what his body was demanding. He was out of breath, that much was obvious. Yuri tried to keep his breathing steady so they wouldn’t be able to hear him, but it was too much to concentrate on. His arms ached from carrying the two objects in his arms.

One of them kept moving and shifting. A couple of times, he thought he would lose it, but they stayed. Yuri wanted to scold the object again, but had other things to focus on.

Like not passing out before he was able to get to safety. Or not dropping the objects he was carrying.

Soon, the sounds of the compound had faded away. There was silence as he ran through uneven terrain. Darkness heavily covered the area. But Yuri kept going. No matter how much he wanted to stop, there would never be enough distance. Ahead, he could see dim lights. As they got closer, new sounds could be heard. He could make out talking, music, and the sound of traffic.

These sounds were different than what he was used to. It sounded normal. He didn’t get his hopes up though, they could still be far away from safety for all Yuri knew and he wasn’t about to plunge them into a trap.

Yuri kept to the darkness, hoping it would provide enough cover for them to slip past this area undetected. He approached several newer buildings. The uneven surface turned into a paved one. All signs of anything similar to the compound were gone and replaced with normalcy.

He still didn’t trust the area and only once did he dare to look in the direction of the normal noises. Yuri saw the bustle of a city. He knew he was close to one based on those who visited the compound, but he never knew where he was.

Cyrillic lettering adorned the outside of buildings. That told him nothing. There were several countries that used the language. Yuri assumed that he had still been in Russia because of the familiar weather patterns, but he could always be wrong.

One of his legs gave out beneath him, causing him to lose his balance. Without the grace he had from two years ago, Yuri found himself falling to the ground. He shifted his body so the objects he was carrying wouldn’t hit the hard surface beneath them.

Soon, small cries echoed in the area.

Frustrated, he pulled back the ragged blanket covering one of his objects. It was stained dark brown in several spots. Yuri reached down to touch the messy black hair of a small child. The action startled the kid and had the opposite effect he wanted. The child started crying louder.

“Nika,” he panted. The child focused on him, eyes still watery. “Everything’s all right.”

He pulled the child closer to his neck, trying to soothe the child while catching his breath. Yuri couldn’t allow himself to rest too long. He had to get them to safety still. At least, that’s what his mind kept repeating. His body refused to cooperate.

_Maybe it won’t hurt to rest for a bit._

When Yuri wakes up, he knows something was wrong. There’s no child holding on to his neck. There’s no extra weight on the rest of his body either. And there’s a smell that’s not familiar to him. It’s one of cleanliness. The sounds around him come in steady beeps. He knows what this place is. It’s a hospital.

His eyes scan his surroundings. The feeling of unease is becoming more pronounced with every second that passes.

Were they safe? Who owns the hospital?

Yuri isn’t going to wait to find out. He swings his legs over the edge of the bed and gets ready to stand up when a nurse comes in.

“Where do you think you’re going?” she asked gently before guiding him back underneath the covers. He resists the motion, but her grip is firm. He can feel his chest hammering loudly. There’s not enough air suddenly. This isn’t good.

He hadn’t escaped.

There will be punishments for his disobedience. He had promised to get them to safety. Yuri had failed.

“Nika,” he managed to get out in his panic-driven mind. Tears start rolling down his face. “Don’t hurt Nika.”

Yuri could handle anything else they threw at him. But he would never forgive himself if they laid a hand on that child again because of him. It was their ultimate weapon against him. He hoped and prayed they wouldn’t be that cruel this time.

“Who’s Nika?” she inquired.

His breathing grew harsher, black spots filling his vision.

_I’m sorry. I messed up. I’m sorry_.

Yuri kept repeating the same phrases in his head until he passed out.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kind feedback. I am trying to update this once a week. 
> 
> Mentions of human trafficking at the end. Other than that, no major trigger warnings.

-Two Years Ago, St. Petersburg-

Yuri knew something was wrong with Katsudon the moment the other was off the ice. He didn’t approach at first, hoping that the man’s stupid fiancé would take notice. No such luck since Viktor was an idiot and the other Yuuri didn’t like to talk about his problems.

He noticed the way Katsudon shook, as if trying to calm himself down. There was something wrong with how the other man smelled too, but he couldn’t pinpoint it exactly. So Yuri did the only thing he could, he sat down next to the other.

“Yakov’s going to kill your fiancé,” he remarked casually. A small smile spread over the other’s lips.

“Not if I do first. I told him not to be on the ice with me for so long.”

Yuri could feel Viktor’s stares at them. He conveniently chose to ignore the man. Yakov yelled for the silver-haired man to focus on practice. Yuri loved watching him getting chewed out for his inattention.

“He’s an idiot.”

“He’s my idiot.”

“Ugh, gross.”

They shared a brief laugh before Katsudon stood abruptly and left him. Yuri could feel the distress in the air. His eyes followed the older man as he ran toward the restroom. He was worried, but Yuri Plisetsky would never admit that.

At least not until Katsudon had been absent for ten minutes.

Yuri got up to search for the other male. Not that he cared. He just knew that Viktor would have a fit if someone didn’t go check on him. What he didn’t expect was for Katsudon to be retching in the bathrooms.

“Shit,” he muttered. “Oi, are you okay?”

The sounds didn’t stop immediately. A minute later, he could hear dry heaving.

“I’ll get Viktor,” he said after receiving no response.

“Don’t,” Katsuki called weakly. “I’ll be fine.”

There was the sound of Katsudon trying to empty his stomach again, but nothing came up. The toilet flushed and out stepped a pale, shaky Katsudon. The other walked toward the sink and washed his mouth out.

“What happened?” he asked as the other continued to try and hide what had just occurred.

“Nothing important.”

 “Because “nothing important” always has me puking my guts out,” he said sarcastically.

“Yuri,” the older man said pleadingly. He had heard that voice before. Katsudon tried to use it whenever he didn’t want someone to pry into his business.

“Fine, I’ll just tell Viktor what happened since he knows about it, right?”

Katsudon froze.

Oh. This was an interesting development. Yuri was under the impression those two talked about _everything_. It’s part of why they were so disgusting as a couple. He smirked. He was impressed Katsudon had the guts to keep a secret from his fiancé.

“No, he doesn’t know about it,” he said softly. Yuri could sense the distress again. “I wasn’t going to tell him until I was one hundred percent certain.”

“When was that going to be?” Yuri asked.

The older man pulled out his phone and checked the time.

“Soon. I have a doctor’s appointment that’ll tell me, but…” Katsuki looked back at the toilet he had just been attached to and winced. Yuri sighed.

“I’ll go with you.” He hadn’t meant to offer. Just knew what Viktor would say if he found out Katsudon had gone to the doctor’s alone.

Katsudon smiled. Ugh. “I’d like that.” He shrugged dismissively. Hoping the older male would get the hint and not continue to bring up his actions further.

It was no easy feat getting the two of them out of the rink unnoticed, but Yuri Plisetsky had a knack for it. Viktor would be practicing for another hour and a half. Yuri had to be ready to go by the time the old geezer got off the ice while Katsudon would be ready for lunch.

This meant cutting things really close; depending on how long this mysterious doctor’s appointment took. He hadn’t bothered to ask what the older male was getting checked out, figuring it wasn’t his place. If Katsudon hadn’t told Viktor, then he definitely didn’t need to know what the hell was happening until later.

The clinic Katsudon had chosen was just a fifteen-minute walk away from the rink. Yuri figured he could run that back and count it as part of his warm up. Provided the older man was fine with being abandoned.

He waited in the reception area, getting the occasional odd look. He pulled up his headphones and started to blast music while scrolling through social media. Everyone was gearing up for the next skating season. There was no shortage of pictures from others who were trying out new moves and ambitiously saying they were going to make it to the Grand Prix Finals this year.

Yuri scoffed. Four of the spots were practically guaranteed. He would make it again, of course. So would Viktor. Katsudon would make it again too provided he kept his shit together. And of course, Otabek Altin would be there. Yuri sent the man a text, giving him a brief update on life in Russia and his day so far.

The other replied almost instantly, giving him an update about how practice had gone. He smiled and typed a reply. Katsudon had come back to the reception area.

“Yuri,” the older man called. He turned off his music. “I’m finished. We can go.”

They headed out of the clinic. He checked the time. They still had forty-five minutes until Viktor was off the ice. Yuri decided he could walk back with the other this time.

“Did your appointment confirm what you thought?” he asked. 

“Yes.” 

“Are you going to be okay?” 

A small smile broke out across the other man’s face. “Yes.” 

He decided that was enough for now. Katsudon could tell him the rest later. They were halfway to the clinic when he felt something was wrong. He couldn’t put a finger on it, but everything felt _off_. He could tell the older man was nervous and didn’t know if it was because of the appointment or they were both feeling the same thing.

Before he could ask, Yuri’s world went black.

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

 The second time Yuri regained consciousness, he lasted a full five minutes before having a panic attack that required him to be sedated. The third time was significantly shorter. By the fourth time around, he knew that he was in a hospital in Moscow and no one had taken them back to the compound. He still didn’t know where Nika was. 

The doctors and nurses didn’t share the same concern as him. Nika was probably fine, but it was the other object, other _person_ he was most worried about. Yuri had known he had gotten off easy the past two years. He had been subjected to hard, manual labor. But the other person hadn’t been so lucky.

A scream tore through the hospital floor.

Yuri sprang up from his bed, knowing who was in agony and he had to get to them as quickly as possible. He didn’t make it far before he felt the tug of IV lines on his arm. A growl escaped his throat, but noted they were attached to a stand.

He grabbed the stand and headed toward the sound of the cries, knowing that if he didn’t get there soon, no one would be able to help. Yuri closed his eyes, following the cries and feeling of distress. He would’ve gone faster, but was still shaking and weak. Whatever sedation they had used on him was still wearing off.

It scared him that he was still under the influence. What if he was needed to fight? What sort of scene would he walk in on? He knew they were in a hospital, but that didn’t mean they were safe.

A wave of panic crashed over him. What if they were going to take them back? He couldn’t protect them.

 _Again_.

The scream came again, louder and closer. 

 _Hang in there. I’m coming_.

He ran and burst through one door to a group of five nurses and doctors trying to pin down a thrashing Katsuki Yuuri. He growled loudly. They redirected their attention toward him.

“Leave him alone,” he said darkly.

They remained frozen. He went up to the crying older man, who continued to be in hysterics. Eyes unfocused. Katsuki was speaking in every language he knew, trying to get them to stop. He leaned down, offering his neck to the other.

“Katsuki,” he whispered. “I’m here. Can you hear me? Focus on my voice.”

The other nodded, no longer speaking. The older male’s breath was still ragged.

“Good,” he praised. “Now breathe with me. In, out. In, out.” 

They repeated the process for a couple of minutes until Katsuki could breathe a little easier. The older man’s eyes came into focus. It was no longer a blinding haze.

“Nika,” Katsuki whimpered. Yuri turned to the incompetent medical staff.

“Where’s his son?” he snapped. One of the nurses left the room. He turned his attention back to Katsuki. “Keep breathing. They’re going to bring Nika. I promise everything will be fine. I’m here to protect you.” 

He had doubts about that, but didn’t want to worry the older male any more than necessary. Right now, he would do his best.

One of the staff members in the room tried to approach them, but he growled at them. They backed away immediately. He could sense Katsuki’s distress increase the longer they had to wait. Yuri climbed into bed next to the man, trying to use his scent to calm the older male.

A couple of deep breaths later, Katsuki had calmed down significantly more, but still whimpered and called for Nika. What the hell was taking that nurse so long?

Just when he was about to demand someone check on them, the nurse came in with the black-haired child. The child was crying, sending Katsuki back into distress. Yuri shifted as the older man could reach out for the kid.

Nika calmed instantly in the arms of his parent. For a few moments, it was just the three of them in their world. 

One of the doctors cleared their throat.

“I’m staying here,” Yuri said sharply and glared at anyone who tried to object otherwise.

“We have questions,” one of the doctors voiced. Yuri growled.

“Later. Let them sleep.”

Katsuki and Nika were already drifting off. He was tired too, but wouldn’t dare sleep with all these people here. He needed to make sure they would be all right. There was no telling if they were really safe our not. For all they knew, this could be a set up. He wasn’t about to let them get the best of him, not with both Katsuki and Nika here as well.

“You should return to your own room,” a nurse voiced. He glared at them.

“I’m not moving.”

They exchanged glances before speaking. “We’ll make it so you can stay with them.”

“Good.” He looked at the other two, feeling content that they were at least all together for now.

 _I can still get them out of here if we need to run_.

 

-Present Day, St. Petersburg-

Viktor returned home late in the afternoon. Makkachin had greeted him at the door as usual. He bent down to scratch his beloved pet’s ears. It wasn’t lost on him the way his dog looked past him, almost expecting someone to follow. Every time he came home, there was still the expectation that Yuuri would follow behind him.

“I know,” he whispered. He leaned forward, giving the dog a hug while closing the door with his foot. “I wish he was here too.”

This was the only time Viktor was allowed to show his true emotions. This was the only time he was allowed to be broken.

So he cried. 

This wasn’t the first time he had come home and shed tears because of his broken heart. It wouldn’t be the last time either.

Makkachin didn’t move from his embrace and only turned so he could kiss his owner. They only had each other now. It was a too harsh of a reality to constantly face, but one that was always there these days.

And it hurt a little more as time continued to pass by.

After a few minutes, Viktor stood and collected a blanket from his bed and went through the dresser drawers. He found a shirt that didn’t belong to him and put it on. Viktor made his way to the living room with a laptop and curled up on the couch, inviting Makkachin to snuggle with him.

Once settled, he breathed deeply into the shirt. It still faintly smelled like Yuuri even though he hadn’t worn it in two years. Viktor didn’t always go through Yuuri’s items for comfort, but he needed it today. His hands shook.

 _If only I had been there to protect you_.

He opened his laptop and went through the same articles, the same pictures he did every night. They were dated from two years ago. He kept reading through the details of the case, even though he knew all the information by heart. Yuri Plisetsky and Katsuki Yuuri disappeared less than a mile from ice rink.

After their disappearance, the Figure Skating Federation had installed security cameras to cover every inch of the grounds and there were no fewer than ten people guarding all possible entrances. They had also required two key cards: one to get into the front lobby and a second to get into the rink.

Because losing a Grand Prix Gold medalist from their home country wasn’t bad enough. They had also lost the Grand Prix Silver medalist from Japan, a guest. Every couple of weeks, they would hold a press conference regarding the investigation. After an electric first two months of potential sightings and new leads, nothing had been turned up recently.

He noticed an announcement had been posted on one of the websites he frequented. Viktor clicked the link to the article. It stated that there would be a new press conference regarding the case tomorrow morning. He made note of the time before shutting off his computer. Viktor stayed on the couch for the rest of the evening, not bothering to get up and make himself a proper meal for the evening.

Tonight, he didn’t care about anything. Viktor set his alarm to awaken him a half hour before the press conference was scheduled to begin and drifted off to sleep.

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Yuri was roused from his sleep by the sound of someone entering the room. He glared at the person, who he noted was the nurse who brought Nika to them. A low growl escaped his throat. She stopped, but didn’t flinch.

“Is it okay if I check his vitals?” she asked. He nodded, still keeping an eye on her as she worked.

This nurse seemed nice enough, but he was still on edge. Everyone could still be a threat. She quietly checked over their vitals and didn’t do anything to wake the other two.

Her hair was pulled up in a high ponytail. She wore soft make-up and deep red scrubs. Her hair was just starting to grey, but still maintained an ashen blonde hue. 

“Sir?” she whispered gently. She was addressing him. He glared at her. She didn’t seem to mind. “I was wondering if I could ask you some questions? Outside so not to wake them?”

He knew they would want answers if they weren’t part of the compound. But Yuri still wondered if this was just an elaborate ruse.

_But if these people can help…_

Yuri nodded. She picked up his IV lines so they wouldn’t drag on the floor as he got out of bed. They walked together out of the room. The nurse didn’t close the door and positioned Yuri so he could look inside at all times. He was suspicious, but appreciated the effort.

“I’m sorry we scared you guys at first,” she apologized. He continued to eye her suspiciously. She didn’t shrink under his gaze or flinch, just like she hadn’t earlier. In fact, she was the only one who hadn’t treated them as harshly. “A lot of those working here haven’t handled victims of human trafficking before.”

He flinched, hated the word. But knew that’s what happened to them.

She was smart too.

 _Which means she can be really good at lying_.

“How’d you know?” he asked as gently as he could. If he had said something harshly, she made no indication of it.

“I’ve been here a long time,” she offered. “Though I’ve never seen anyone come in alive as bad as your…”

“Friend,” he offered.

She nodded. “You did everything you could to get him out of there, you must have known how bad it was.”

Yuri didn’t respond. He knew. And his efforts still hadn’t been enough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Next time:
> 
> He had spent two years imagining what could have happened while they were separated. Of course everything he could think of would never compare what they had actually experienced.
> 
> It was worse.
> 
> \--  
> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your kind reviews! Hopefully this chapter answers some important questions. Already made some progress on the next chapter so it might come earlier than anticipated. 
> 
> No major trigger warnings. More discussion of human trafficking in this chapter.

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Yuri thought of the countless times he had failed to get Katsuki out of terrible situations. He didn’t know all the details, preferring not to approach the subject unless the older male did first.

It was rare and upsetting to both of them. Yuri because he couldn’t do a damn thing about it and Katsuki because of how much it hurt dealing with the same problems every day. There had been no escape.

“Don’t blame yourself,” she said far too kindly. He felt panic rising in him. She was too kind. He didn’t deserve this. “You did everything you could.

Yuri felt tears well in his eyes. That was new. Crying was Katsuki’s specialty. Not his. “It wasn’t enough,” he whispered. “If I had…”

“It doesn’t matter. Your friend will still be fine.”

Yuri heard Katsuki shift, distress filling the room. He wanted to head back in, but knew the nurse still had questions.

“I’ll make this quick,” she said. “The child he has, is it also a product of his time there?”

“No,” he answered before fully taking in her words. She looked relieved for a brief moment.

She didn’t give him time to ask what she meant. “Are you Yuri Plisetsky?”

_How did she know?_

“Yes,” he answered.

_Please don’t let my trust be misplaced._

“And he’s Yuuri Katsuki?”

_What were they going to with them?_

“Yes.” 

She didn’t seem surprised at his answers. He opened his mouth to ask his questions when Katsuki gave a distressed whine. Yuri moved back in the room and climbed in next to the Omega. He let the older man smell his neck.

It didn’t take long for the other to calm down and settle back to sleep. That’s why Yuri noticed Nika was wide-awake, staring at him. He ruffled the boy’s hair and smiled.

For now, he had to pretend they were safe. For both of them.

 

-Two Years Ago, St. Petersburg-

Viktor exited the rink after running through his short program fully at least a half dozen times. Yakov had stopped him several times and told him to restart. Something was always not good enough for the old man. First it was his spins, then his emotion behind the performance.

 _I would be more connected if you let me run through the whole thing_.

That retort hadn’t gone over so well with Yakov, who made him practice spins until the end of practice. They weren’t his favorite element to begin with. It was easier to jump and fly through the air. But both elements were required for his performance as his coach kindly screamed at him. He was also left with a reminder to get his head out of his ass and figure out how to convey the emotions behind the music to the audience.

Because now that the world knew what Katsuki Yuuri was capable of, they would expect the same level of emotion to be conveyed across his music as well. There was no more faking it when it came to that interpretation of their skating programs. His precious Yuuri had set the bar for all the other skaters.

His emotional connection wasn’t a new struggle, but one he knew would get better once the technical elements were polished. It was difficult to try and put together both at the same time, but his schedule didn’t allow the same luxuries as before. Not that Viktor was complaining by any means. He would never say agreeing to return to the ice and training his beloved was a mistake.

Difficult, of course. A mistake, never.

“If you see Yuri, tell him to get out here.”

That’s when Viktor noticed an absence of both of them from the immediate area. He knew his Yuuri would be off gathering lunch for them so they could have a meal together, but it wasn’t like the younger skater to miss out on valuable time training. If Viktor went even five seconds over his allotted training time, the Ice Tiger of Russia would be screaming at him to get off the ice.

“I’ll see if he’s still warming up.”

He went to the weight room, expecting to find the blonde there. No such luck. He frowned and figured maybe both of them were gathering lunch. He texted the two while continuing to search the building—all without luck. Checking his phone, he found neither had responded. So he called them.

No answer.

His hands shook as he walked back to the rink. Yakov looked angrier than when he had left him.

“I can’t find him,” Viktor said. “Nor can I find my Yuuri.”

Anxiousness began to settle in. He wasn’t used his fiancé being out of reach. They were always in the same proximity at least. And even though they hadn’t formally bonded, Viktor always knew when the other was there. He couldn’t feel that anymore.

The older man looked less happy than a second ago, if that was possible. Yakov pulled out his own phone and tried what he had done a few moments ago.

With the same negative result.

His stomach clenched. Deep down, he knew something was wrong. Nothing about this situation felt right, but he couldn’t tell why. It took less than two minutes for Yakov to gather everyone in the building. They all stood in front of the rink as questions about the location of both missing Yuri’s flew around.

No one had any answers. They were mostly consistent: they had seen them in stands while Viktor as practicing. Only one person had provided a small extension of the timeline.

 Georgi had seen both of them leaving the restroom about half an hour into Viktor’s practice time. There were very few security cameras in the building and none of them captured where the two had gone after leaving that particular area.

Less than an hour after he had gotten off the ice, Viktor and Yakov were talking with the police. They had come relatively quickly despite it not being what they considered to be an emergency. They answered questions as best they could before going out to the immediate surrounding area, looking for the two skaters.

He had gone along with them in order to help, even though they politely told him that they knew how to do their jobs. Viktor insisted because it was his fiancé who was missing.

Less than two hours after he had gotten off the ice, the police had located both of the missing skater’s cell phones. They were found less than a mile away from the rink and now were in the process of getting contacting the phone’s manufacturers to unlock the devices. It was Viktor who helped them make the first significant breakthrough in the case.

Yuuri had given him the passcode a long time ago. They were able to unlock one devices and learn that he had a notification for a doctor’s appointment at a clinic not far from the rink. It was safe to assume the two had walked here given the distance and the fact that neither of them drove.

Less than three hours after he had gotten off the ice, they had confirmed that the two had been at the clinic. It was his fiancé who had made the appointment. Viktor, knowing both relatively well, figured the younger had tagged along with his Yuuri. His stomach was unsettled again. He asked if, as Yuuri’s fiancé, he could know what the appointment was about.

He should have never asked.

 

-Present Day, St Petersburg-

The alarm blared far too loudly. He growled and searched for his phone. It had fallen off the couch and on to the floor in the middle of the night. Viktor turned off the alarm and tried to remember why he had chosen to set it so early. Then he remembered the press conference.

With a jolt of excitement, he got up and read the latest news on the disappearance. Nothing had come out except that investigators were going to release new information. No matter how many sources he went to, they all had the same vague details. 

But the word that stuck out to him most: _new_. How long had it been since there was anything other than “We are still investigating the case, but have not found anything credible at this time. If you have information, we have a hotline for your tips. You can remain anonymous. There is a cash reward of up to ten thousand dollars for any information that leads to the recovery of these individuals up to forty thousand if that leads to an arrest.”

He counted down the minutes until the press conference was scheduled to begin. Two minutes beforehand, the live stream option popped up. He clicked on it and waited for officials to come out. They were always five minutes behind getting started.

Viktor counted two news organizations that came in after the conference was supposed to start. They added their microphones to an already over-burdened podium. But the disappearance of two highly decorated figure skaters was big news no matter where they went.

Around seven minutes after the scheduled start time, an investigator Viktor had never seen before came out to speak. He had a few papers with him. He greeted the press.

“Good morning, everyone. Can everyone hear me okay?”

After getting confirmation from the media that they all could hear them, he dove into the prepared statement.

“As you all know, two years ago two nationally and internationally well-known and top-ranked figure skaters disappeared in Saint Petersburg: Russia’s own Yuri Plisetsky and Yuuri Katsuki of Japan. Since their disappearance, our investigators have worked tirelessly to locate both the skaters without much luck.”

Viktor held his breath.

“We had explored all possible leads and were looking into new ways to investigate the case when we received word of two people matching the physical descriptions of Mister Plisetsky and Mister Katsuki being located in Moscow.”

He still didn’t breathe.

“We have since confirmed the identities of those two individuals as being those of Mister Plisetsky and Mister Katsuki. Both of them are alive.”

Viktor let out his breath. And took several more. Had he heard right? They had found his Yuuri? Alive? Had they really located both of them after all this time?

“Our investigators are currently working with local police to figure out what led to their disappearance along with how they ended up in Moscow. This investigation is still in its early stages at this time and we will provide you with any updates when we can. Are there any questions?”

All the reporters started clamoring for attention. The investigator called one of the names.

“Can you tell us where in Moscow they were found?”

“I don’t have that information.”

“Can you tell us their conditions?”

“I don’t have that information. I do know they were taken to a hospital in Moscow for evaluation, but do not know the state they were transported in or if they are being treated for any injuries.”

Viktor didn’t want to think about the possibility of them being harmed, but knew it was unlikely.

“Who found Mister Plisetsky and Mister Katsuki?” 

“Local police say an observant citizen spotted them and called authorities.”

“Do you know the name of that citizen?”

“I don’t have that information.”

“How were you able to identify Mister Plisetsky and Mister Katsuki?”

“Both have competed in international sports where regular samples are taken for testing. When the hospital collected their samples from the previously unidentified individuals, they were able to generate a match in their database based on existing information. We also contacted each of their respective skating federations to receive a third sample to compare the results. We are positive the two individuals located are Mister Plisetsky and Mister Katsuki.”

“Do you believe that they were victims of human trafficking?”

_Are. This doesn’t go away just because they’ve been located._

Viktor felt his stomach lurch at the question. He remembered being told of the possibilities of the investigation. Originally they had hoped for a simple kidnapping based on their reputation. A quick ransom exchange and they would have the two skaters back in their lives.

But the call never came.

So they had to look at other options, despite his refusal to consider it. Those investigating the case had suspected human trafficking from the beginning, but didn’t bring it up until several weeks had passed. No notes. No calls. No demands. It was very likely both the skater’s had been picked at random and sold into slavery.

He knew the statistics. Saint Petersburg and Moscow both had high rates of human trafficking. He knew they grew worse every year that went by without a single lead. Given their secondary genders, Viktor also had a vague idea of what could happen to them.

Alphas like Yurio were desired for manual labor. Omegas like his fiancé were usually sent to…pleasure others. Viktor waited for the investigator to answer.

“At this point in the investigation, it’s still too early to tell. We’re not ruling anything out.”

With that, the person walked away despite more questions from the reporters. As soon as the press conference live stream had ended, his phone rang.

He already knew who it was.

 

When Viktor met Yakov at the airport, he hadn’t prepared for the press to be there. He should have known, of course. But his mind was too occupied by his own thoughts surrounding the earlier press conference. He put on his sunglasses to hide his eyes so they couldn’t see just how exhausted he really was. 

Yakov had instructed him not to answer any questions. He didn’t feel like it anyway. That didn’t mean he hadn’t thought of responses. Media inquiries were a constant part of his life.

“Mister Nikiforov, when did you know that Mister Plisetsky and Mister Katsuki had been found?”

_The same time you did._

“What do you think happened two years ago, Mister Nikiforov?”

_I think they were kidnapped and sold to the highest bidder._

“Mister Nikiforov, do you have any reaction to the sudden break in the case?”

_I wish I had known sooner._

“How glad are you to hear that your fiancé is alive, Mister Nikiforov?”

_I hope Yuuri doesn’t hate me for not being able to find him._

“How long will you be in Moscow?”

_As long as Yuuri is there._

“How will this affect your upcoming season?”

_I’ll know when I get to Moscow._

“Do you know what condition your fiancé is in?”

_I wish I did._

“Moscow and Saint Petersburg both have high cases of human trafficking. Do you think there’s a connection between their disappearances from here to where they were found in Moscow?”

_Not my job to figure it out._

He pushed through the crowd without answering a single question as he headed inside the airport. Eventually, he would have to give a statement to the press. Right now, it was still uncertain what he was looking at in terms of a recovery period with his fiancé. Now that Yuuri had been found, Viktor was going to do everything he could not to be separated from his beloved again.

Viktor had only packed the necessities, which included his usual duffle filled with regular clothes and Makkachin. He would never admit that he packed a few items of Yuuri’s too.

The rest, he could get while he was staying Moscow. He made it through security in little time, mostly because of his status as a skater. He was pre-approved for all security checkpoints so he didn’t have to wait in line nearly as long.

The obnoxious voices of reporters soon disappeared as he got further and further away from the lobby. He met Yakov at the gate. It was then that he allowed himself to take off his sunglasses.

“You look awful, Vitya.”

“So do you.” He took a deep breath, fighting down his unease.

They sat in silence as the minutes counted down until they would be allowed to board the plane.

“You’re distressed,” Yakov stated.

“Why shouldn’t I be?” Viktor didn’t want to be defensive. He spent two years feeling like a failure because he couldn’t protect the love of his life. And now here he was about to step into an unknown situation. 

He had no idea what to expect. What to prepare for. All he knew was that he wanted to get back to Yuuri. To see him again. To hold him. To love and protect him in good times and bad. 

“I’m not attacking you, Vitya. It’s just not going to do you any good to be the one who is upset when we get to Moscow. Whatever happened in two years is probably going to be worse than us being abandoned by them. So have your pity party now, but once we get to Moscow, you have to conceal those emotions.”

Yakov was right, as usual. He had spent two years imagining what could have happened while they were separated. Of course everything he could think of would never compare what they had actually experienced.

It was worse.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Next chapter:
> 
> He wondered if they had been in Moscow all this time. Were they there when he was? How could he not have known? Why didn’t anyone find them sooner?
> 
> How far apart were we from each other last year?  
> \--  
> Want updates? Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for uploading this later than usual. I decided I hated most of the chapter I had written and rewrote it. Then some recurring health issues have decided to make a comeback this week and it doesn't seem like these are going away any time soon. So please bear with me.
> 
> Potential trigger warnings: Yuri has a warped perception of mental health. It's very briefly addressed in a couple of lines here and will be discussed again in the next chapter. I'll post more about these thoughts in the notes at the end.
> 
> Also, minor anxiety attack.

-Two Years Ago, Unknown-

Yuri still hadn’t pieced together where they were. From all the chatter around him, the guards never once mentioned a specific location. They had been driving for a week, making various stops. Some people left and new ones joined them. He could tell their captives were native Russians because of their accents. 

However, that didn’t mean they were still even in Russia. There hadn’t been time to observe their surroundings during the few, infrequent breaks they received. Yuri may be internationally well travelled, but his home country still remained shrouded in mystery. Sure, there were visits to smaller towns for press reasons.

But he never got a chance to freely explore places on his own. When they were finally pushed off the truck, it was only then that he realized how many other people were with them. He should feel more embarrassed about his and Katsudon’s actions in the truck, but couldn’t regret the decision. 

It was what was best for Katsudon. 

They inspected each of them before separating them by their primary genders first. The women were then divided by their secondary genders and loaded into three different trucks. Each of them drove off the lot. His eyes followed them, noticing the security cameras at each of the entrances and the six guards at each post.

Katsudon had a firm grip on his arm. He could feel the other one trying to control their trembling. However, Yuri could still smell the distress the other was in. He wanted nothing more than to try and calm the other down. The stress wasn’t good for the Omega or the Omega’s body. 

One by one, they were separated by their secondary genders too, mostly Alphas and Betas. There were two other male Omegas in all the people that had left the truck. When they got to him and Katsudon, he felt the need to protect the other.

“Omega, stand with the rest,” they ordered harshly in Russian. Katsudon grasp on the language was still rough, but even he would recognize the tone. But the older male just gripped his arm tighter.

A hand rose to beat the other into submission. He saw it coming down and felt the pain on his own cheek. Without realizing it, he had stepped into the direction of the abuse and taken it for Katsudon. The people who were in charge were less than pleased with his action.

“The Omega is bonded,” one of them observed. 

“Then this must be his Alpha.”

One of the others sniffed the air.

“Something else is wrong with the Omega. He smells too good.” 

The others followed suit and sniffed the air, getting uncomfortably closer to them.

“I know what that smell is.”

The smell of arousal filled the air around them.

_Shit_.

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Yuri had been forced to sit on the opposite side of a curtain while the doctors checked Katsuki out. He could feel the other’s discomfort and distress fill the room. The only reason he hadn’t gone to comfort the other yet was because Nika had been given to him for safekeeping. They figured it was better to keep the two of them nearby in case they needed to calm the older male.

Whatever they were doing behind the screen was making everything worse. Katsuki’s whines got louder and soon, he could smell blood and tears from the other man. Nika was drawn to the noises on the other side of the curtain as well. The boy looked ready to cry. Yuri did the only thing he could. 

He ruffled the boy’s hair and turned him so Nika faced him. He started bouncing the boy on his lap, trying to make sure the other would stay distracted and not make things worse. If Nika started crying, Katsuki would become completely uncooperative. 

It already sounded like the older man was already giving doctors trouble. Yuri was trying to keep them both calm by being relaxed. Every noise from the other side of the curtain would momentarily halt his ease of mind, but he couldn’t let himself get distracted. He had to be strong. 

Nika didn’t take long to calm down because of his proximity to Yuri. However, Katsuki took more time. The small child reached out and grabbed at Yuri’s hair. He missed, but that didn’t keep him from trying again anyway. Soon, Yuri was shaking his hair in front of the child before bouncing Nika just out of reach.

The toddler started vocalizing happily, still trying to reach Yuri’s hair and squealing in delight when he finally caught some. A smile spread on his lips. At least Nika was happy. Yuri had vowed to do his best to make this child smile no matter what. Nika had come into the world in unfortunate circumstances and should never know the true horrors of what happened in that compound. 

To Katsuki or himself.

The curtain pulled back, revealing a newly bandaged and drowsy Katsuki. Sweat lined the prone man’s brow. Heavy breaths came from a bony chest. It wasn’t the worst shape Yuri had seen the Omega in, but the sight was still unbearable. Guilt clawed at him again.

Nika’s attention immediately went toward Katsuki and the boy began to squirm. He always knew when the older man wasn’t doing well and it made the child upset too. Yuri took him over, knowing that Nika would cry soon if he wasn’t near the Omega. Katsuki smiled at his boy, despite all the pain. 

Yuri noticed the nurse he had conversed with hours ago had stayed behind the others. He knew she wanted to talk again, but he had to make sure Katsuki was okay first. Yuri put Nika down on Katsuki’s chest. A shaky hand covered the boy instantly.

“Is it okay if talk to them?” he asked gently.

Katsuki nodded, eyes already drooping.

“I’ll be back soon,” he promised.

He pressed a kiss to Nika’s forehead and brought his neck to Katsuki’s nose. The older man took in several deep breaths before falling asleep completely.

Yuri followed the nurse out of the room. They resumed the position they had last time. But he was the one to begin with a question. It wasn’t the only one he wanted to ask, but given what he had just smelled, it seemed like the most important one.

“How is he doing?”

“Better. His body is fighting several infections at the same time. Not as many as before, but he’s still under a lot of strain,” she said gently. Yuri knew there was a lot more information that she wasn’t divulging. He didn’t know whether it was because she was trying to spare him the details or if it truly wasn’t his business.

“He didn’t sound fine while you guys were in there,” he muttered.

“No, but we didn’t have to sedate him. I think having you and Nika there helped keep him calm.” He didn’t know what she was trying to hint at with her words. “The good news is that he’s recovering physically at least.”

He knew what she meant this time. There had yet to be a time that Katsuki hadn’t been awoken by some nightmare. The staff kept encouraging him to keep the other calm with his scent. They didn’t want to put more drugs into Katsuki’s system. Yuri didn’t know why, but didn’t argue.

As much as Yuri hated to see Katsuki endure that much pain, it seemed to keep him from completely falling apart. No matter what they did for the older man physically, it would never be enough to help him through the pain and suffering of his mental health. 

“Will he get better?”

“Over time,” she answered. “With a lot of help. He’ll need lots of support over the next several years. Both of you will.”

Yuri didn’t consider himself weak.

“I’m fine,” he scoffed.

“Sure,” she agreed. But he knew she was lying to appease him. Of course he wasn’t fine, but he had to be because Katsuki wasn’t. Yuri couldn’t let himself be anything else other than perfectly “fine." 

“Nika has seen a lot too, hasn’t he?” she commented quietly.

The sudden shift in topics caught him completely off guard. They never liked to talk about the child. Both Yuri and Katsuki didn’t want to relieve the horrors of that day. 

“He was born early,” he supplied. The nurse nodded at the information. Yuri hoped they would never mention Nika’s development to Katsuki either. The older male was prone to feel especially guilty.

When the child had turned a year old, they didn’t even celebrate the day.

“He’s an intelligent boy.”

Yuri nodded. “We never had time to teach him much. He's still got a long way to go.”

She didn’t push any other answers from him regarding the child.

“He’s got beautiful eyes.”

He scoffed. “They’re just like his other father’s.” Yuri felt his chest tighten at the thought of the Alpha the boy hadn’t gotten to know yet. 

She smiled at him. “By the way, I’ve heard you’ll have visitors soon.”

Yuri tensed. “Who?”

“Yakov Feltsman and Viktor Nikiforov.”

His eyes darted back to the room where Katsuki laid. If Viktor saw his precious fiancé in such a state, would he come after Yuri? Would he be blamed for not protecting them? He couldn’t let Viktor seem them like this.

This was too soon, much too soon.

_What will happen when he sees what I’ve done?_

Yuri couldn’t breathe suddenly. He felt his chest grow tighter. He tried to take in oxygen, but it wouldn’t come. He saw the nurse saying something to him, but couldn’t hear her either.

What was happening to him?

 

-Present Day, Sheremetyevo Airport-

When they stepped out from the safety of a secured place, the two were once again greeted by a bunch of reporters. Every one of them had the same questions as the media in Saint Petersburg. It was weird to be in Moscow and not be here for the Grand Prix series.

Viktor ignored every question. Yakov promised an official statement once they knew more about the situation. That did little to appease them, but a few left them alone. A car was waiting for them outside.

Without another word to the reporters, they loaded their luggage in the trunk of the vehicle and got in. He sighed heavily as they took a detour after detour to lose the aggressive paparazzi that tried to follow them.

Viktor tried not to think about the last time he had been in Moscow.

His second selection had been at the Rostelecom Cup last year. It hadn’t been any less painful to be competing without both his fiancé and Yurio in the series. If anything, he felt the emptiness even more knowing that he and his beloved had been prematurely separated the last time they were there as well.

He wondered if they had been in Moscow all this time. Were they there when he was? How could he not have known? Why didn’t anyone find them sooner?

_How far apart were we from each other last year?_

 

-One Year Ago, Sheremetyevo Airport -

Cameras flashed all around him. As usual, he wore his signature sunglasses to hide the bags underneath his eyes. Every day had been filled with training for the Grand Prix Series, each longer than the previous one. It was only by Yakov’s demand that he take the day before the flight off to recover, but both of them knew it wouldn’t do any good.

When Viktor wasn’t practicing, he was searching for any new information; any new leads in the disappearance of his fiancé and rink mate. There never was any, but that didn’t stop him from staying up into all hours of the night anyway. Although he would prefer to resign to the official hotel for the day, it was expected that he interact with the media as part of his image.

He plastered on a fake smile, waving to the media.

They couldn’t see his dead eyes. They would never know that this was simply part of a painful routine for him. Viktor came a little closer and allowed reporters to surround him. Of course, they started with congratulating him on his gold medal in Skate America. They asked him how he was feeling and what he hoped to improve upon in his performance.

He kept his answers brief and as conversational as possible until one of the reporters asked about his currently missing fiancé. He froze. Of course there were lots of things Viktor felt about his Yuuri. But he couldn’t very well talk about how empty the nights were without the Japanese man or how empty his skating had become.

_As long as I produce results_.

Viktor noticed how every reporter was waiting anxiously for an answer about the missing skaters. Yakov hollered at him to hurry up, probably sensing his distress from far away.

“I don’t have any further comments than what I’ve already sent to the media,” he said.

He thought he did a marvelous job at deflecting the question, but everyone wanted to know more about how he _truly_ felt. Whether it was regarding the course of the investigation or if he had heard anything from officials, they were all directed about his missing fiancé.

It was all an attempt to get him to react. And it was disgusting. 

His stomach churned. At first the questions remained open to the possibility that both his fiancé and Yurio were still alive. Viktor continued to move forward, ignoring them and trying to push all thoughts of the missing duo aside. If he thought about them too much, he would get sucked in and lose his concentration.

Then, came the most insensitive question he had heard since their disappearance.

“Given the length of time that has passed, have you considered the possibility that your fiancé is no longer alive?”

Viktor could feel tears sting his eyes.

Nothing hurt as much as hearing them talk about his Yuuri as though he would never return. Viktor doesn’t remember being dragged away from the reporters. He doesn’t remember Yakov yelling at them to stop harassing the reigning champion before the competition. He definitely doesn’t recall being shoved in a cab and taken to their official hotel.

Nor does he remember the reporters of the hotel, getting checked in, and how he got to his room. On his television, there’s footage from the encounter all over the news channels. It was the only time Yakov had cursed at the media in such a unique way. After the interview had been replayed endlessly, Mila had group messaged him and Georgi.

_“Now we know where Yurio gets his colorful language from.”_

He _does_ remember smiling at her text.

 

-Present Day, Hotel-

Viktor did his best not to think about the unsatisfactory conversation he had experienced earlier. His first day in Moscow and he still hadn’t seen his beloved. They had visited the hospital and were briefed on the conditions of the skaters.

But weren’t allowed to see the two. Not yet.

When Viktor had demanded why, the doctors said they needed to attend some form of therapy first. To prepare. The thought twisted his stomach. What was so horrible that he needed to prepare for? He had spent the past two years imagining the worst.

How could it possibly be different from his nightmares?

But they had left with an appointment scheduled with a therapist who “specialized” in these cases for the next day. Why would anyone want to focus on these types of trauma? Viktor didn’t really want to know. He just wanted what was best for his Yuuri.

Yakov came in to his shared room grumbling. He knew the older male was just as unhappy with how things turned out. The Russian Skater’s Federation had called not two minutes after they had arrived at the hotel, demanding to know what sort of condition Yuri Plisetsky was in.

They were trying to figure out of the teen could realistically skate in the upcoming season—if the younger Alpha had any interest in returning to the ice. Viktor hated dealing with officials. They wanted medals and reliable skaters.

They probably knew Viktor was already considering leaving the ice now that his fiancé had been found. None of the other up and coming male skaters came close to the results that he produced. Viktor Nikiforov at his worst was still better than most skaters in the world.

“How’d it go?” he asked, though he already had an idea.

“Fine,” the other grumbled.

“You don’t have to lie. I know what they want.”

“And what’s that, Vitya?”

“For Yurio to return to the ice as soon as possible. For me to keep skating until he’s recovered.”

Yakov sighed heavily. “I told them I haven’t seen Yura yet. We don’t know if he even can return to the ice at this point.”

Viktor knew what he meant. Even if Yurio was cleared for the ice physically, the mental battle still laid ahead of them. They didn’t know what had happened during the missing period and couldn’t ask them about it. Not yet at least.

That meant they’d try to force him to keep his commitment to the season. Something he couldn’t be sure of at this point. Not when he didn’t know the true extent of what his Yuuri needed.

“What did the doctors say about Yurio’s condition?” he asked.

“Malnourished, suffering from panic attacks, but won’t leave your Yuuri’s side.”

He turned to look at the other man. “Really?”

“Whatever they went through, the doctors think they went through it together.”

_They weren’t separated._

“But they were hiding something.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I got that feeling too when I had my conversation.”

“What’d they say about your Yuuri?”

He felt something wet slide down his cheek. Viktor raised a hand to wipe it away, only vaguely aware that it was a tear that had fallen. Others soon followed. A warm arm draped around his shoulder. Lifting his head, he saw Yakov beside him.

The older male was looking straight ahead, pretending it wasn’t him who was providing comfort to his protégée. Viktor knew how difficult it was for Yakov to demonstrate any emotion besides anger. Pushing them to their absolute limits was how the long-time coach showed his love for people.

Yakov was simply awful at being comforting in any other way. Still, the gesture warmed his heart. Viktor was certain the older man had only ever done this for his ex-wife before this.

“They said he’s still considered to be in a serious condition. He’s fighting a lot of infections which is making his vitals fluctuate but they’re keeping him conscious because they think it’d do more harm than good at this point. Once his vitals are stabilized, they’ll upgrade him,” Viktor answered. “He’s also malnourished.”

Viktor couldn’t imagine his Yuuri being underweight. He had seen him in top physical condition and a little rounded with extra weight. Both looked simply divine on his fiancé. But he knew no matter what, he would still love his beloved.

_We’ll get you healthy, Yuuri. We’ll eat katsudon every day_. _Whatever you want, my love._

“They say he may have to be in the hospital for another couple of weeks depending on how long it takes to get his vital signs stable and his infections to clear.”

“I’ll look into finding a rink here so you can practice.”

He didn’t want to. But knew that spending time at a rink was a way for both of them to relax and unwind.

Viktor had the feeling the older male already knew where to find a rink. “Did they say when you might get to see him?” Yakov asked.

“After a week of therapy sessions,” he answered.

Part of his heart had started fluttering again. Viktor couldn’t keep it contained. He was going to get to see his Yuuri very soon. The prospect thrilled him. For once in the past two years, his smile finally reached his eyes.

While it was painful not having any answers at the moment, but he knew that they would come soon. He just had to be patient. What did his beloved look like now? Were his eyes still warm and beautiful? Did he still smell like oranges and chocolate? Would Viktor even recognize him?

_Will he recognize me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that when Yuri views mental health as a "weakness," this is more because he doesn't understand it at this point. Throughout all his life, he's been able to push through whatever problems he's faced. He's never had to really handle something that he can't conquer on his own. This is kind of his perception for everything in his life. He considers it a weakness until he masters/perfects/soldiers through it.
> 
> As someone who suffers and who has friends who suffer from mental health disorders, this is obviously not how things work. But Yuri's perception will change in the coming chapters. If you have any questions, comments, concerns about how I depict/represent mental health, please feel free to bring them up. I'm happy to talk about them either through message or through my twitter @LadyMWrites


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your kind reviews, I appreciate them so much! This is the longest chapter so far (and was longer before I decided to cut several scenes which will probably be used later). This one kind of got away with me. That being said, prepare your tissues and read the following notes carefully.
> 
> This chapter has several triggers. Minor triggers in this chapter will be designated with one star next to the header. Example: -*Present Day, Hospital*-
> 
> These minor trigger warnings can include: slightly more descriptive anxiety/panic attacks, depressive thoughts, warped perceptions, mentions of abuse. In this chapter, there are two minor triggers. The first is for implied child abuse. The second is for a warped perception. 
> 
> There are also two panic attacks in the chapter, but neither of them are very descriptive.
> 
> Major triggers for dark, disturbing, and/or very descriptive content will come with three stars next to the header. This can be skipped and I am including a summary at the end so you won't miss anything. I will end any major scenes like these with multiple stars so you know it's safe to read again.
> 
> To prepare you now, this is a birth scene. I struggled with how much detail to go into and actually changed quite a lot because I didn't think it would be comfortable to read. This does play a factor into the story later, which is why the summary is provided.

-Present Day, Hospital-

He rolled over in his sleep, minimizing his movements as much as he could so not to wake the other person who would be sharing the bed with him. Except that person wasn’t there. When Yuri reached out, there was no body next to him. He kept feeling, whining at the lack of warmth before fully opening his eyes.

Unsurprisingly, the bed was empty and the room dark. His heart tightened in fear. He had specifically stated that he would sleep with Katsuki and no one had tried to move him before now. What was wrong? Was the older male all right?

A weak whimper came from somewhere in the room. He snapped his head toward the noise before getting up to investigate. Bare feet touched the cold floor, sending shivers up his thin body. Yuri took a few steps forward, feeling a tug at his arm.

 _Right, fluids and nutrients_.

The whimper grew louder. Yuri dragged the stupid IV lines with him. He didn’t see why they were needed. He was _fine_. He reached out a hand and gripped a thin cloth before pulling it back roughly. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he made his way toward Katsuki and Nika.

His relief was brief as there was another whimper. He made his way toward the bed, trying to figure out which one was in distress. The older male remained prone, deep in his restful state. It was the toddler who was upset. Yuri reached out a hand for the boy, ruffling the messy black hair.

Nika let out a pitiful sob. He picked up the child out of the crib next to the bed to inspect the other. They were fully awake. Eyes staring at his own. Another sob, this time longer before the kid became a full-on bawling mess. Yuri performed the diaper check. Nothing to be done there. So he tried to soothe the child by rocking him.

His actions didn’t make things better. In the bed, Katsuki stirred and whined at the noise. Yuri made a move to remove the child from the room when the older male lifted an arm weakly toward them. He could see the glossy look the other had in their eyes. They were unfocused and barely comprehending, but the message was clear.

Yuri moved back toward the Omega and placed the child on Katsuki, nose facing the older male’s neck. The toddler continued to cry, but it grew softer. A nurse came in the room, a bottle in hand. The nurse offered it to him and he accepted. When he moved the formula toward the child, his interest immediately went toward the object.

Soon, Nika’s cries were gone. Katsuki’s hand met his, the other trying his best to help Yuri feed the child. Even in all of his misery, the older male was still a true parent at heart. Nika drank everything in the bottle before nuzzling the Omega’s neck. A small smile was present on Katsuki’s face.

Despite the hell they went through, Nika had made it through.

Nika was happy.

Nika had been what kept them going every day in the compound.

_He still does._

 

-*One Year Ago, Unknown*-

When Yuri had been returned to the compound, he hadn’t expected to see Katsuki there. They were separated by their secondary genders when they first arrived, but whenever something was wrong with the older male, he would be taken to Yuri. The guards said this had to do with their relationship.

So whenever they broke Katsuki beyond repair, he was given two days to get the Omega back into a functional shape so he could do his job. Yuri didn’t want to see the shape the other was in this time. He could smell the distress, worry, and saltiness permeating the room. He swallowed thickly, there was one main reason the older male got this upset these days.

“Yura,” Katsuki said quietly. Tear tracks caused black hair to stick to the older male’s face. Eyes red and watery. He immediately tried to calm the Omega through scent, but it didn’t work. A tightly wrapped bundle in Katsuki’s arms started to stir.

Cries filled the air. Distress from two people filled his room. It wasn’t fair that they both were ganging up on him. Yuri sat next to Katsuki and immediately saw why the older male was concerned. The baby in his arms was flushed red. Eyes glazed over. But the most obvious was the dark bruise on the child’s face.

They had hit Katsuki’s child.

“Bastards,” he growled. In the time they had been here, Yuri had told Katsuki several lies to keep them going. He had made several excuses for their behaviors. By dropping the Omega off here, they wanted him to do the same.

This was the one time he couldn’t. It would be simple to tell Katsuki not to make them angry and to just obey. But they had harmed the one thing getting them through.

Yuri would never forgive them.

 

-Present Day, Therapy-

Viktor tapped his fingers against the wooden arm of the chair anxiously. His body filled with extra energy due to his nervousness. Yakov had managed to get a list of recommended therapists in the area who had experience dealing with these types of cases and set up an appointment.

He didn’t even know what “these types of cases” meant. Viktor was sure he’d find out soon enough. The therapist they were visiting made an emergency appointment with them given the circumstances. They would at least go through the first ones together since they didn’t know everything about the case.

Both he and Yakov had spoken with police and hadn’t been given much more information. A lot of details were still unclear due to them being unable to interview the victims. Viktor’s fingers stopped.

He never hated the word “victim” so much until it referred to his Yuuri.

His fiancé was strong, a fighter, and would not be a “victim.” He would be a conqueror. Viktor would be there every step of the way to make sure it happened. The therapist came out of his room and introduced himself as Doctor Luski. They were led into a comfortable office after their brief introductions.

The man pointed him in the direction of a fabric sofa while he sat in a high back chair across from them. Viktor took a seat while eyeing the details of the office. Dark brown bookshelves were filled with varying journals and books all related to psychology. On the soft blue walls not covered by bookshelves, varying pictures hung proudly.

In the space by the door, the doctor’s degrees were framed as well. He felt uncomfortable. The doctor simply had a notepad and pen on his lap and took a deep breath before beginning.

“I’ve spoken with the primary doctors who are treating Mister Katsuki. From what I gather, he is your fiancé. Is this correct?”

“Yes,” he answered.

“From everything I’ve heard, it appears he was a victim of human trafficking though the extent of what he went through has not been evaluated.” Viktor felt his stomach drop. He could only imagine the horrors his fiancé had suffered in the two years he was missing.

Doctor Luski continued, “Have you been to therapy before?”

Viktor shook his head to indicate “no.”

“This is to prepare you for some of the things you _may_ face when you are allowed to visit your fiancé. When you are both able, I recommend both individual counseling along with couples therapy between you and your fiancé.

“Emotional trauma can put a lot of strain on any relationship. I want to emphasize how important it is for you to stay in individual therapy while all this is going on. There will be days where the stress can be too much. I want you to have an outlet. Any questions so far?”

He shook his head. Viktor listened to the doctor talk about the typical symptoms of someone who come from human trafficking cases. Many of them suffered from post-traumatic stress syndrome. He explained that depending on the situations, some might hoard food or water after being returned because they never knew when food would come again. Others would turn down intimacy. Some self-harmed. Anxiety and depression could develop.

Most of it varied on the individual. But the possibilities and severity of those options weighed heavily on Viktor. All he could think about was how this would affect his Yuuri.

“Mister Nikiforov?” Doctor Luski asked. He refocused on the man.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

“What is your fiancé’s secondary gender?” 

“He’s an Omega,” he answered. The doctor wrote that down.

“How long were you engaged before his disappearance?”

“Almost six months.”

“Were you bonded?”

“No. We agreed to wait until we were married.”

“Do you know if your fiancé has a history of mental health issues?”

“Anxiety and depression.”

The doctor wrote that down as well. “Do you know how long he’s suffered from those?”

“No,” he answered. “He’s mentioned having it before I met him.”

“Do you know if he has a history of self-harm?”

“He’s never hurt himself.”

“Going forward with individual sessions, I’d like to focus on how to handle anxiety and depression. Specifically, I want you to be able to recognize warning signs and potential triggers. It’s possible that during the time he was missing, these have gotten worse. I want you to be able to handle them if they do come.”

Viktor nodded. He couldn’t imagine his Yuuri’s anxiety and depression getting worse than it already was.

He was going to find out.

 

-Two Years Ago, Skate America-

Viktor’s return to the Grand Prix Series was the most talked about event that year. Every step toward the rink felt heavier, but he kept a fake smile plastered to his face. He knew how to act in front of fans and the media. Many of them didn’t see a difference between this and his former self.

If Yakov had any comments about his lackluster answers while they arrived at the rink, he didn’t say anything. In the back of his mind, Viktor knew that the older man had been bullied into this just as much as him. Bureaucracies weren’t created to empathize. They were created to make money.

Despite a year off and the disappearance of his fiancé, Viktor was still the heavy favorite to win gold at this event. It was almost like he never left. He carried the same emptiness with him. The same loneliness. The same longing for a special person.

_Not just any person, Yuuri._

But it wasn’t there. The only difference between this season’s beginning was that he knew the name of the person who could fill the void in an instant. A person, who was missing, still hadn’t been found, and might never return.

After months of very few leads and no new information, investigators had told him to prepare for his Yuuri to never show up again. Or, if he did, prepare that he might not be alive. The thought churned his stomach. He shakily exhaled. Yakov shot him a glance and he gave a weak smile, trying to ensure the other that he was fine.

He wasn’t.

They both knew it but would no longer address the real tension between them. It wasn’t that Viktor couldn’t perform his routine. It wasn’t that he couldn’t execute all the elements. They lacked emotion. The clear expression he had last year gone without hope of returning.

Viktor had almost dropped out of the series. But he didn’t. He had to keep skating. It was a pathetic attempt to cling at hope. One he would keep holding on to just so that when his Yuuri returned, they could be on the ice together like they had promised.

He didn’t care what investigators thought about the chances of survival. His Yuuri would come back. They were meant to be together forever. They would make it through everything and be stronger for it.

 _Together_.

When his name was announced, he took his position in the center of the ice. He exhaled again, trying to remind himself of why he was doing this once again. Yuuri. The music began. Sorrowful notes began to fill the arena. He extended his arm, inviting someone to grab his hand. Yuuri.

He withdrew his arm from its open invitation as he began to glide across the ice. No one would answer his call. Yuuri. His body movements remained tight and close to himself until after the opening combination a quad, triple.

The skate on his landing foot shook underneath him, throwing his balance off. But he didn’t fall. His arms tentatively reached out toward the audience again, withdrawing quickly. No one could reach him. Yuuri. He kept extending invitations, but each one went unnoticed by the people around him. It wasn’t until his step sequence when someone had reached back and held tight. _Yuuri_.

A final culmination of everything he had felt toward Yuuri rested in the final jump, a quad flip. Viktor would echo back the story of their love as many times as necessary. They would always be able to tell it through their skating. His and Yuuri’s love began with loneliness and ended with the ice.

His final pose left him open and vulnerable. It hurt to love this much, this openly. There was nothing he could to do protect his heart from the intense pain he felt at the absence of his Yuuri. Tears streamed down his face.

 It was the first time Viktor had ever cried after a performance.

 

-*Present Day, Hospital*-

Yuri walked with Nika in the hospital room. While the child didn’t vocalize much, the kid enjoyed walking every chance he got. There wasn’t much to do while they were cooped up in the room. If one of them left for longer than five minutes, Katsuki would grow restless. Not that Yuri minded being near the older man. He wasn’t comfortable without them by his side either.

The nurse, he now knew her last name was Vanzin, entered their room, smiling at them in greeting. Yuri didn’t mind her as much as he did the other nurses. She treated them like people rather than victims. Others would pity them. She had conversations with him and knew when to push and when to leave them alone.

The others demanded answers, even when they were too hard and caused him to black out. He didn’t remember much of those times. Just every so often, he would wake up in the empty bed in a room away from Katsuki and Nika. He would always return to find the Omega restless and the child upset.

Nika never strayed too far from him, but tested the boundaries of where he was allowed to go. Every time he thought he went too far, the boy would turn back to look at Yuri as if expecting to be immediately corrected. Yuri didn’t though. They didn’t have to worry about keeping him out of sight here. Nika kept pushing and was soon exploring every part of the hospital room.

Yuri only gave correction if the child was crawling underneath the beds or was about to touch the equipment. Nika immediately stopped to look at him before continuing with his explorations away from the banned items.

“He’s a very good kid,” Miss Vanzin commented.

Yuri smiled while watching the toddler continue his exploration. “He is.”

“I can bring him some toys so he won’t get bored.”

“He probably wouldn’t know what to do with them at first,” he muttered.

She didn’t comment on his information. “I can also bring some books so you can read to him.”

He bit his lip, anxious suddenly. Nika wasn’t technically his child. How would Katsuki feel about him reading to the boy? “Sure,” he reluctantly agreed.

In the compound, Katsuki had trusted him a great deal with Nika, but things were different now. Their relationship would continue to change too. He knew who was waiting for them too.

 _Viktor_.

He felt his chest tighten at the thought of the older male. Yuri tried to take in a deep breath, but couldn’t get air. This was just like last time. He was going to pass out and wake up in the bed, wasn’t he? The struggle to get air continued as his vision swayed. Something hit him on his side.

Yuri could suddenly breathe again. He looked down and saw Nika hugging him. The boy looked at him with worried eyes. Breathing back to normal, he reached down and ruffled the boy’s hair.

While he didn’t know if the boy had done it on purpose or not, he appreciated the fact that he could breathe. Miss Vanzin handed him a cup of water, which he accepted. Nika crawled into his lap.

“Couldn’t breathe again?” she asked. 

“No.” He paused, thinking about what could be the cause of it. He knew he was still weak from their time at the compound, but he was making progress! They had transitioned him to solid foods and he didn’t look as pale as before. The doctors didn’t indicate anything else was wrong with him.

“What’s wrong with me?”

She didn’t answer him immediately. “It could be a panic attack.”

Panic attack. He knew what they were because Katsuki had them before they were taken. Yuri had only seen the beginning and aftermath of one. Yakov had ushered him out of the room while Viktor worked to calm Katsuki down. He frowned.

“Do they make it hard to breathe?”

“Sometimes.”

“And you can pass out from them?”

“In some extreme cases.”

Extreme. That didn’t make him feel better. “What can I do about them?”

Miss Vanzin smiled again at him. “We want to get you into therapy.”

 _Therapy_.

He hated that word. That was only for weak people, like Katsuki. At least, that’s what he had always thought. Was he weak? Yuri couldn’t accept weakness as part of him. Then what was therapy for?

Miss Vanzin seemed to know what he was thinking by her next sentence. “Therapy isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength. You’ve had to be strong by yourself for so long. Talking to someone will help you become even stronger.”

Strength. He knew what that was. He understood that feeling perfectly. The word fit his identity. “How?”

“Therapy can give you tools to help you overcome the challenges you may be facing.”

Yuri didn’t know what she meant by “tools.”

“The person who helps you can explain it better, but you’ll be able to recognize the signs of an oncoming panic attack before it happens and be able to calm yourself down.”

“When do I have to meet with them?” he asked.

She looked troubled at this time. “Soon. The therapist wants to meet with you individually. He’s already met with your former coach and…” she trailed off.

“Friend,” he answered. She nodded. He turned his attention to the boy on his lap. Was Viktor Nikiforov really his friend? Yuri wasn’t sure. But it didn’t feel right to call him anything else.

The mental image of Viktor in therapy caused him to laugh. Of course, his picture was that of the old Viktor Nikiforov.

He had yet to meet the new one.

 

-Two Years Ago, Saint Petersburg-

When Viktor had returned to the rink, Georgi and Mila didn’t comment on his appearance. Probably under the instruction of Yakov, but he was still thankful for their silence. He both wanted to and didn’t want to get on the ice after being absent for the past few weeks. Viktor pulled on his normal workout clothes.

Had they always been this loose on him?

Skates tied, guards removed, he took a hesitant step before fully pushing himself forward on the ice. Slowly, he made his first lap around the rink before building up speed for the second. In the background, he heard people whispering about him, but only caught parts of their conversations due to his warm-up. 

Halfway through a series of step sequences and spins, Viktor felt his muscles burning from not being intensely used for almost a month. It’s the longest time he’s ever been absent from the ice in his skating career. He had also skipped part of his stretching, which he definitely regretted when going for a jump.

He kept things simple, knowing his body wasn’t at its peak. Getting off the ice, the need to train harder kept clawing at his mind. Viktor knew he couldn’t do much more skating, but should focus on rebuilding his muscle instead. That meant more time at the gym and less on the ice. Still, he had wanted to practice at the rink at least once before Yakov banned him from there. His coach handed him a water bottle while he wiped sweat from his brow. 

“You find your answer?” Yakov asked.

He took a sip from the water bottle. “Yes.”

“And?”

Viktor hesitated, doubt creeping into his mind. “I’ll skate this season.”

“We’ve got a lot of work to do then,” Yakov grumbled. “Can’t promise you’ll make the podium, but we’ll try not to make you look like a complete idiot at your competitions.”

He smiled. “Thanks.”

“You’re banned from the ice though. At least until you get back your strength to handle your old practice schedule.”

Viktor groaned. “You’re going to kill me.”

Yakov shot him a trademark glare. “It’s punishment for taking over three weeks off.”

He waved a dismissive hand. Even though the reason for his unannounced vacation remained open between them, neither addressed it. They would keep trying to pretend the kidnapping hadn’t happened.

But it would catch up to them.

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

In the time Yuri had spent at the hospital, he had never been more uncomfortable than he was now. He was seated in a conference room with a doctor sitting across from him. Water bottles and tissues were on the table in front of them. The man had introduced himself as Doctor Luski and only had a notepad and pen with him. While he was sure the man was nice enough, he didn’t really see the point of therapy.

Yes, the nurse had mentioned giving him tools to cope with whatever was wrong with him. Yuri had decided that there was indeed a problem, but didn’t understand how this man could help fix it. He wasn’t going to start spilling his guts to a total stranger. Every person could still be out to recapture him. They might be waiting for the right moment to strike for all he knew.

The only thing he was certain was that Miss Vanzin was not one of those people and she wouldn’t turn them back over to their captors intentionally. But the rest of the people he had interacted with were still untrustworthy in his opinion. They weren’t as invested in them, unlike Miss Vanzin.

“You’re Yuri Plisetsky, yes?” Doctor Luski asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.

He nodded in response.

“I’ve spoken with both your doctor here and coach, they both say you’re an Alpha, is this correct?”

Again, he opted for a non-verbal way to communicate his affirmation.

“Your doctor says you’ve been experiencing panic attacks,” Luski continued. “Is that something you’re familiar with?”

The question caught him off-guard. “Not really,” he answered. “I know Katsuki got them at times, but I’ve never seen or _felt_ them before.”

“Tell me more about Katsuki,” the doctor prompted.

“Katsuki was taken with me. We were rink mates before this. He’s engaged to another rink mate.”

He avoided mentioning Viktor’s name for now. He didn’t want to think about the older man.

“Can you tell me what you experience when you pass out?”

He frowned, trying to remember. “It gets really hard to breathe mostly. I can hear my heart beat faster and then I just kind of lose focus on everything.”

The doctor wrote down his words.

“Are you feeling any of those symptoms right now?”

“No.”

“Did anything happen around the first time it occurred at the hospital?”

“The nurse mentioned we’d have visitors soon.”

“Did she say which ones?”

“My coach and Katsuki’s fiancé,” he answered.

Doctor Luski made another note.

“What’s your coach’s name?” the doctor asked.

“Yakov Feltsman.”

“How would you describe your relationship with him?”

Yuri didn’t know what to say to that. It wasn’t complicated. Yakov was his coach, right? He made sure he got to skate, helped him with routines and was a total monster when it came to perfection.

“Fine, I guess. He’s taken care of me since I was a kid.”

“How about Katsuki’s fiancé? Can you tell me more about him?”

“Viktor Nikiforov,” he began. His chest tightened. “He’s…”

Yuri could feel it becoming more difficult to breathe. He tried to form more words about Viktor, but couldn’t get them out. All he needed to do was get some air!

“Mister Plisetsky,” the doctor said gently. He looked in the man’s direction, still unable to get in a full breath of air. “We’re going to take deep breaths together. Try to mimic me." 

Doctor Luski took in a deep breath so he did as well. They exhaled together, repeating the process a few times. Slowly, he felt like enough oxygen had reached his lungs. His chest was no longer constricted.

The silence went on longer than he was comfortable with, but he used that time to focus on his breathing. This was only the second time he hadn’t passed out. The first time was because Nika was there. 

Doctor Luski pushed a water bottle toward him. “You’ll feel much better with some water.”

He took a drink.

The doctor continued with his silence. It took him a few moments to realize he was still following Doctor Luski’s breathing. He felt his muscles relax as he sank into the chair. Yuri felt exhausted.

“Are you feeling better?”

He nodded.

“Thank you for trusting me to get you through that.”

Yuri wasn’t sure he really had a choice, but didn’t mention his thoughts on the subject. “That’s the second time I’ve been able to get through…that,” he mumbled.

“How were you able to get through the first time?” Doctor Luski asked.

“Nika bumped into me.”

“Who’s Nika?”

“Katsuki’s kid.”

“When was Nika born?”

“About four months after we were taken.” 

“How far along was Katsuki when he gave birth?”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “He never told me.” Tears filled his vision. “Nika was so small when he was born. We thought he was going to die.”

 --

When Yuri returned to the hospital room where Katsuki and Nika were, he felt both lighter and more burdened than before. Though he hadn’t talked much about what happened in the compound, he talked the most important thing. He had put up with a lot during his time as a laborer. But even that didn’t hurt as much as what they did to Katsuki.

The doctor said he wanted to have another appointment tomorrow to discuss tools to help him get better or something. He had tuned out most of the conversation. Doctor Luski asked if in the future, he would be okay with having a session with Yakov. He agreed. Just need more time. The doctor didn’t protest.

He saw Katsuki stirring from his sleep and stare directly at him. To this day, he wasn’t sure how lucid the older male actually was during this time. He was certain the other knew when he and Nika were there, but little else about what was going on.

Katsuki lifted a shaky hand toward him. He went to the older male. The raven-haired man touched his cheeks as though he knew about his crying session earlier. He didn’t say anything. They didn’t need to talk much. Both of them adept at reading the other without words. Though his ability was made easier than Katsuki’s.

Somehow the older male always seemed to know. Yuri envied Katsuki’s natural gift. He could feel tears starting to build up in his eyes again. Before they could cloud his vision, he saw the Omega tilt his head, offering a space for him to lie down. He didn’t hesitate.

Yuri buried his face at Katsuki’s neck, deeply breathing in the other’s scent. Katsuki ran shaky fingers through his hair. Even though they were free from the compound, they still only had each other.

His tears melted away. Katsuki was the only one who could bring Yuri away from the breaking point, he decided. It was terrifying to trust someone so much—someone just as fragile as him. He took in one more deep breath and caught something new mixed in. Barely there before it disappeared entirely in the older man’s usual scent. Instantly, he recognized the faint note.

He pulled back, staring at Katsuki.

The older male seemed to know what he had smelled and nodded to confirm it. Tears rolled down Katsuki’s face. Yuri wiped them away. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

 

-***One Year Ago, Unknown***-

Blood instantly assaulted his nose. He gagged at the overwhelming smell before recognizing the subtle notes in the coppery scent. Yuri knew then what was expected of him. He would never get over it. No matter how many times it happened. Rounding the corner, he found Katsuki lying on his side of his bedroom floor, naked.

Red smeared across the older male’s legs, some of it already turning a darker color. Other fluids were mixed in, but he didn’t want to think about the rest of it. Yuri felt his stomach churn. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. It was a scenario he had hoped wouldn’t repeat itself.

Katsuki had tears running down his cheeks as he shivered. Yuri took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

In a pathetic attempt to give himself more time for what was about to happen, Yuri grabbed the brown blanket off his cot. The object stained with dark spots from their previous uses. He found a fresh bowl of water in his bathroom. He knew it was no coincidence that it had been replaced. Yuri brought that with him too.

He placed both of them next to Katsuki on the floor. The blankets were put along the floor. Yuri positioned his back against the wall, then settled the Omega in between his legs, letting the older male lean against him.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. In the time they had been there, he knew how utterly useless those two words were.

This wasn’t their first time. Each one took more out of him. He could never make it up to Katsuki. Yuri was certain he would spend a lifetime in hell for all the times before and this time now. They had kept count. But they never gave names, no matter how hard it was to resist.

Each one ended up being around the same size. All too small and helpless to survive in the cruel world. Yuri pushed the past ones out of his mind, preparing for the new one that was coming.

 _Hopefully just one_.

“They give you anything?” he asked.

“Y-yes,” the Omega answered shakily.

“Know what?” 

A shake of the head. “Hurts.”

“I know,” he said. But Yuri didn’t. He would never have go through the same pain over and over again. Every expression of pain imprinted itself in his mind. A mental snapshot to be replayed over and over in his nightmares.

It was a waiting game now.

The Omega was whining and sweating. His face contorted with pain. The expression dissipated before returning. It was a quick cycle. Yuri helped lift the other person up so they could bring their legs closer to their body into a squatting position. Katsuki gave a loud cry before bearing down. Yuri held him steady.

A few attempts at pushing yielding nothing. The older male sobbed louder as the pain intensified. Blood dripped underneath him at a slow rate. He kept holding on to the other because Katsuki was already weak. Honestly, he didn’t know where the strength he had was coming from.

Katsuki’s pushing didn’t have the results they wanted. Rapidly, the Omega was losing consciousness. This wasn’t going to work. Yuri lowered the older man to the floor, positioning the Omega on his back. He had to do this just once before. It was an experience he had hoped to never repeat.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered once again. He would spend a lifetime saying those words to Katsuki, but would never be able to make up for his actions.

Yuri coated one of his hands in the blood spilled on the ground, knowing that lubricant would make it slightly less unbearable. Katsuki was barely awake. He couldn’t hesitate.

By the time he had finished his intrusion, Katsuki had passed out. He stared at the _thing_ in his hand, wondering what this one would’ve looked like. What they would have grown up to be if given a chance in this world.

The _thing_ , calling it anything else would be too painful, fit entirely in the palm of his bloodied hand.

 _Number five_.

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed.

_I won’t let this happen again._

 

*********** 

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Viktor paced nervously in the conference room. Today was a special day. At least, that’s what the doctors had told him. His mind went through several possibilities of what could happen. He wouldn’t let himself get too excited though.

Yakov had met with Yurio in a joint session at the hospital earlier this week. But he wasn’t about to get his hopes up. Not yet. Yakov had refused to discuss much about the meeting, but did report back that the other looked better than he expected.

What he didn’t know was how his Yuuri was doing. None of the staff seemed to answer his questions honestly, just saying that the Omega was doing “better.” He knew they had stabilized his beloved and were waiting to introduce him to Doctor Luski. Other than that, he felt totally shut out of his fiancé’s life.

It still hurt.

Almost two weeks had passed since his arrival in Moscow. He had gone to therapy several times since then. Doctor Luski working on some of his own problems and fears. But the fact remained that Viktor wouldn’t know exactly how he was until he saw his Yuuri.

His anxiousness required another lap around the room. He didn’t stop himself. The door to the conference room slid open, revealing Doctor Luski and Miss Vanzin. Viktor stopped in his tracks, waiting for them to speak.

“Mister Nikiforov, sorry for keeping you waiting,” Doctor Luski said.

“It’s all right,” he said softly. It wasn’t. But he didn’t want to jeopardize what this meeting was going to be.

“Please sit, there’s some things to discuss.”

He obeyed. The other two sat across from him. This time, Doctor Luski had no notepad or pen with him.

“I know you’re anxious to figure out why we called you here.”

 _Big surprise_.

“I started meeting with Mister Katsuki earlier this week and believe it would be beneficial for his health to reintroduce you to him,” Doctor Luski continued.

“Anything to help my Yuuri,” he agreed.

Doctor Luski smiled. “I’m glad. Miss Vanzin is here to tell you a little more about what to expect for his physical condition.” 

He shifted his attention to the nurse. The only one who gave him a straight answer whenever he called to check on his fiancé’s condition. Viktor still wasn’t her biggest fan, but at least she didn’t try to hide the truth from him.

Miss Vanzin smiled at him. “Your fiancé is doing wonderfully. He’s fought through a lot. Most of his previous infections have cleared up. Because of this, we haven’t been able to transition him on to solid foods. He’ll be much skinner than you remember, but please don’t focus on his physical condition. It makes him uncomfortable.”

Viktor nodded at the information.

“He’s still a bit weak and shaky. When he speaks, let him take his time,” Miss Vanzin said. “He may not be able to hold a conversation as long as you’d like.”

“Okay.”

Doctor Luski spoke next. “We won’t do a normal therapy session. I will just be here to observe your interactions. If I feel like his state of mind is changing, I’ll have to intervene. I’ve already warned you how fragile he’s going to be.”

“He also has a surprise for you,” Miss Vanzin added.

Viktor looked at the nurse, trying to guess what the surprise could possibly be. Her body language gave nothing away.

“Are you ready to see your fiancé?” Doctor Luski asked.

“Yes.”

 _I’m coming, Yuuri_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Major Scene Summarized***  
> Flashback to the compound. When Yuri arrives to his room in the compound, Yuuri is already there and in labor. This isn't the first time this has happened. Yuuri was given an unknown drug to help induce labor and force an abortion. It doesn't completely work though and Yuri has to help get the child out. The child is very small and doesn't survive. They don't name the children anymore, just give them numbers. This is number five. Yuri promises this won't happen again. 
> 
> Clarification: This is not Nika's birth scene. It will be addressed at a later time.  
> ***
> 
> Next chapter will be dedicated entirely to Viktor/Yuuri reunion. It will also introduce Yuuri's perspective for the first time in the story.
> 
> Questions, comments, concerns? Just wanna talk? Tweet me @LadyMWrites


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your kind reviews last chapter. I haven't been able to reply to them yet because this has been an awful week. You're getting the chapter a little early because I forgot my sister was visiting this weekend. It shouldn't effect next week's update either. And I will reply to reviews when I have down time.
> 
> Minor trigger warnings: Depression, anxiety, mentions of attempted suicide, warped perceptions.
> 
> Other warnings: Might want tissues.

 -*Present Day, Hospital*-

Yuri hadn’t expected Katsuki to invite him to his first therapy session in the hospital. The older male was still recovering and didn’t seem lucid enough to handle something so emotional. But he kept his mouth shut. The Omega had asked if he could be there for the entire thing. Doctor Luski agreed on the condition that they only talk about what happened while they were missing.

He shifted anxiously, knowing why the doctor made the request. Yuri appreciated not having the reason be explained, but the pause in the exchange made him feel uneasy. Katsuki agreed without a single question. Yuri let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. The Omega turned to him and asked if he would stay.

Of course there was no way in hell he could say no to Katsuki. He nodded.

Since the agreement, Yuri had done his best to keep his anxiety at bay. He was vaguely aware of what the session would entail, but this wasn’t his own. It was for another person. Before the meeting, Doctor Luski told him that his job was to simply be support for Katsuki, unless he was invited into the conversation.

If Yuri was invited, then they would treat this like a group session.

So he sat next to Katsuki’s bed, making sure the other was comfortable. Nika was not in the room. They decided earlier that the toddler should interact with some of the other children in the hospital. It was also a way to let Yuri know when the Omega needed to talk about something in private.

_Something I can’t handle._

“You’re nervous,” Katsuki whispered. His voice was still weak and hoarse from lack of use. But Yuri never said anything. He let the older male take his time. 

“I just haven’t talked much about our time there.” 

Katsuki nodded, opting for non-verbal communication whenever he could. Yuri knew he was doing a poor job at concealing his anxiousness. He couldn’t help it. 

“Squeeze my hand if I make you uncomfortable during,” Katsuki said.

Yuri hated how the other always cared for him, even when the Omega had suffered much more. It always made him feel guilty that he couldn’t reciprocate the action. The act seemed to be natural for Katsuki. 

“Really?” he asked.

Another nod of affirmation. 

“Thank you.” 

Doctor Luski entered the room, taking the other chair by Katsuki’s hospital bed.

“I have to go over some personal information at first. Is it okay if Mister Plisetsky stays for this part?”

Katsuki nodded.

“All right.”

As the questions continued, Yuri noticed they were phrased as “yes” or “no” ones so Katsuki didn’t have to speak unless necessary. It wasn’t until five minutes in did the older male had to say something.

“Have you been to therapy before?”

Another nod of affirmation.

“What were treated for?”

“Anxiety and depression.”

“Have you ever self-harmed?”

A shake of the head. No.

“Have you ever attempted suicide?”

Yuri could feel the older male stiffen. He wanted to squeeze the hand in his own. The memory came to mind. Buried underneath a stack of tragedies that made up their time at the compound. One right after the other. Barely any reprieve.

“Once.”

“I know this is difficult to talk about. We don’t have to go into details right now. I just need to know if you are having those thoughts right now.”

 _No_. Non-verbally communicated. Yuri let out a sigh of relief. He knew Katsuki was the stronger between the two of them, but he never fully understood how the older male could continuously battle against those demons. Selfishly, he never asked. Didn’t want to know more about the darkness that lurked within the other.

Especially when he had his own battles to fight.

“Now, when we’re talking about what happened during your time missing, you don’t have to share anything that makes you uncomfortable, okay?”

An affirmative nod.

“Can you talk me through when the kidnapping occurred?”

So Katsuki did, giving as much detail as he could. It wasn’t anything Yuri hadn’t heard before. They had gone through so much together than just being kidnapped. The two had theories about why they were taken. Most often discussed was their visit to the Omega-specific clinic.

Omegas were highly sought after in human trafficking. It was their idea that they saw them leaving from that clinic and were considered easy targets given their assumed secondary gender. Their theory wasn’t discussed. Kept between the two of them. 

Like so many other memories.

Doctor Luski listened to the story without interruption. He merely made small notes every once in a while, but never long enough to make either of them feel he wasn’t paying attention. The story ended when they got to the moments leading up to arriving at the compound.

That’s when Katsuki stopped talking. Doctor Luski asked if the Omega could explain how he felt during that time. No response. Yuri could feel the older man’s hand trembling in his own. He merely bent down and offered his neck. A few deep breaths and the shaking became less noticeable. 

He could feel the other’s tension decrease as well. Yuri didn’t move, didn’t say anything.

The doctor broke the silence. 

“You are very close with Mister Plisetsky. Have you always been this close to each other?”

Katsuki pulled away from his neck, contemplating the question.

“We were friends before, right Yura?” Katsuki said with a small smile. Yuri hadn’t been invited to the conversation until then, but his body reacted naturally.

He rolled his eyes. “You wish,” he retorted. No actual malice in his voice.

“And what about now?”

It was a simple question neither of them chose to answer.

 

-*Yuuri*-

The question from Doctor Luski should have been easy to answer, but it wasn’t. Like the rest of his life, his relationship with Yura was complicated. They had adopted a kind of brotherly affection for one another when they had arrived in Saint Petersburg.

More so on his part than Yura’s.

The teen had stubbornly insisted that he didn’t care about him. The teen’s actions always said otherwise and Yuuri knew words were not Yura’s strength. But that never mattered because he could see beyond the front the young Alpha put forward. It was always carefully concealed and all too brief.

But the intention behind the action always spoke volumes.

Since they had been kidnapped, everything had changed between them. Of course they maintained a familial bond, but there was something deeper. And it wasn’t just the obvious. They had changed. They would always have a different connection now because of this incident. But the line was blurred.

 _Because of my selfish request_.

Yuuri decided to take the session into his own hands. He had made a promise to not discuss anything but their time missing in front of Yura. However, he needed to ask about Viktor. He had to know how his fiancé was doing.

“Yura, would you mind checking on Nika?” he asked, knowing the other would eventually pick up on his true meaning.

 _I have things to discuss without you here_.

The younger male scoffed. A typical reaction. If you couldn’t see the smile on the other’s face. “You’re such a worrywart.” 

The teen got up and left the room regardless. Yuuri’s eyes followed the younger male and waited a few minutes.

“How is my fiancé?” he asked. He turned to Doctor Luski. The other seemed ready to offer a fake response. “Please, I need to know how he really is.”

The doctor understood what he needed. “Being separated from you hasn’t been kind. I’ve never seen someone so affected for someone who isn’t bonded.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Yuuri asked.

“He’ll be fine. I believe even better once he’s reunited with you. I have the feeling you’re the same way. There will still be much to work through both individually and together. However, I think it would be best if you two are able to see each other again as soon as possible.”

“I need to make sure he’s all right. It’s just…” Yuuri closed his eyes, trying to push the memories down. He didn’t know how to explain what had happened during their disappearance. The nights he spent in the company of others, the day he almost gave up, the children he conceived as a result of being used as a sex object rather than a person.

And how to explain the biggest joy and biggest failure of his entire time missing. How he was a failure as a fiancé, Omega, and a parent.

Yura had told him that it wasn’t his fault. That there wasn’t anything he could have done. That they had done everything possible with what little resources they had. That no one would hate him for what had happened.

But the reassurances had never worked.

Yuuri refused to believe he was blameless in the situation. He was _weak_. He ultimately failed to protect the most precious thing to him. It was something he couldn’t forgive himself for. Not then and certainly not now.

“You don’t have to explain everything at once. He knows there are things that you’re not ready to talk about. But I know he would love to meet his son.”

Yuuri looked at the doctor, trying to analyze the older man for any sign of deception.

“Are you sure?” he whispered.

Doctor Luski nodded. “I’m positive. If you’re open to meeting with him, I can arrange a time for the reunion a few days from now. It won’t be a therapy session, but I’ll still be there.”

Yuuri relaxed in the hospital bed. “I’d like that.”

“Good. Until we meet, we’ll discuss reintroducing the two of you. You have nothing to worry about. He is still in love with you and will still love you once he knows everything.”

 _You don’t know that_. 

Yuuri didn’t say anything to the doctor, opting to close his eyes instead. He was so tired.

“I’ll leave you alone for now. I’ll see you tomorrow at the same time.”

He didn’t acknowledge the doctor’s words. Tomorrow would be a bigger battle. Anxiety was already starting to claw at the tattered edges of his fears. He whined. Tears falling down his face.

 _Viktor won’t love you. You’re dirty. Tainted. You’re going to end up alone._  

Tomorrow could destroy him.

Before the voices continued, Yura’s scent filled the room along with Nika’s. The familiar weight of the two on his bed returned. He wrapped a shaky arm around his son and breathed in the teen’s familiar scent. 

 _I hope he loves you, Nika. Even if he doesn’t love me_.

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

They took the elevator to the third floor of the hospital. Viktor followed them down a hallway, passing several rooms. The first ones were occupied, but that didn’t last. They turned a corner, taking him past more empty rooms until they reached the end of the hall. 

Miss Vanzin opened the door and let him go first.

His eyes went immediately to the small man lying on the bed. When she said his Yuuri would be skinnier than he remembered, he hadn’t been prepared for what he saw. In his mind, he still pictured his beloved’s figure skater form with a little less weight on it.

The new version of his Yuuri didn’t align with his previous vision. Viktor could see just how much his fiancé had lost. This wasn’t just a few stubborn pounds. It could only be classified as a significant amount. He didn’t want to try and label just how much. There was one thing that hadn’t changed though.

His fiancé’s beautiful eyes.

He smiled, looking into the gorgeous orbs. They smiled back at him. Briefly. His Yuuri was propped up in the hospital bed. Several devices were attached to him. Viktor noticed Doctor Luski was sitting in the room, but paid him no mind. He had been told this wouldn’t be a normal session. The doctor was merely there to observe. Next, he noticed an empty chair beside the bed, but he didn’t feel like sitting.

“Yuuri,” he breathed.

“Viktor,” the other answered. He noticed the slight shake in his Yuuri’s voice. He wasn’t sure if it was due to his fiancé still recovering or if it was an emotional response. Viktor approached cautiously.

His fiancé held up his hand. A tremor present there too. Viktor didn’t say anything as he took the frail hand and gasped softly. Warmth spread through his body. The spark Yuuri’s touch ignited within him awoke emotion Viktor thought he would never feel again. His heart was full again. Reunited at last with the other half of his soul.

He squeezed as gently as he could, trying to reassure the other that he was very real and he wasn’t going to let them go. The other seemed to be doing the same thing with just their connected hands. Viktor knew everything was going to be okay again. Not immediately.

But as long as they were together.

“You’re here,” Yuuri said. Tears started falling from his fiancé’s gorgeous eyes. He felt his own building up. “You’re really here. 

“I’m here, Yuuri. I can’t believe you are too.”

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

Viktor brought Yuuri’s hand to his lips, kissing it. “I thought the same.”

They cried for a moment, relishing in each other’s innocent touch. He didn’t press for more. It was enough just to be able to hold his beloved’s hand. Viktor didn’t know how such a small action could draw such a huge reaction. But he was content, truly happy for the first time in two years.

So much had changed, but yet so little. Yuuri was still Viktor’s soulmate. His other half. The one who completed him. Nothing would ever change that. Not two years apart and certainly not the challenges they now had to face together. Those could wait.

At least until he stopped crying.

Surprisingly, it was Yuuri who broke their silence first.

“There’s so much to tell you,” the younger male struggled to get out. He waited patiently just as Miss Vanzin had advised. “Most important is that I love you.”

More tears fell. He didn’t notice when Miss Vanzin leave the room. “I love you too, Yuuri. I will always love you.”

The other gave a weak smile.

“I thought about you every day,” Yuuri said quietly. “The possibility of seeing you again gave me the strength to get through. But I never, ever want to be separated from you again.”

He smiled. “I feel the same.”

Yuuri fidgeted. Viktor could tell instantly the other was fighting with his anxiety over his words. But he would repeat them as many times as necessary until his fiancé believed him.

“I will always feel that way, Yuuri.” The other met his gaze, searching for any reason to doubt. “No matter what has happened or what will happen. I want to be with you.”

His fiancé looked away. Distress filled the air. “I’m…not who I was. I can’t be who I used to be.”

“I’m not asking that of you,” Viktor said softly. He gently squeezed the hand he was holding. “I want you to be the Yuuri you are now. I’ll meet you where you’re at. I won’t abandon you because you’re different. I’ve changed too and I know you’ll accept that part of me. It will be just like when we were together in Hasetsu.”

Yuuri had started crying again. “This isn’t Hasetsu, Viktor. This won’t be easy to get through. I’m not worth it.” 

Viktor gently pulled his fiancé’s hand to his lips, kissing it gently. “You’re always worth it. Will always be worth it. I love you.”

Yuuri smiled. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.” 

“It’s the other way around, I assure you.” He kissed his beloved’s hand again before returning it to the side of the bed. Viktor continued to take in the other’s appearance. Yuuri’s hair was longer. Glasses were missing. There were deep scars along his fiancé’s forearms. He noticed Yuuri was fidgeting again.

“I have a surprise.” 

Viktor didn’t say anything, just waited for his Yuuri to continue. Miss Vanzin had reentered the room at some point and handed a small child to his fiancé. He looked confused at the toddler.

The kid nuzzled up to his beloved. Viktor wasn’t sure how to feel about the introduction of the child. It obviously belonged to his Yuuri given how familiar the kid was with him. His heart ached a little. He wasn’t prepared for this.

Miss Vanzin had told him about a possible surprise. But he hadn’t imagined it would be a child. Viktor wanted to go back to just moments before where it was just the two of them.

But he couldn’t.

He hadn’t gotten to see the boy’s face completely, but could tell the kid had the same black locks as his beloved. His mind was racing once again. Viktor had vowed to stay with his fiancé no matter what. A kid wasn’t going to change that resolve. Make things more difficult, but never make him want to abandon his Yuuri. 

The child turned toward him. His heart beat loudly in his ears.

Ocean blue eyes stared back at his own.

Viktor knew. 

_Our son._

-Two Years Ago, Saint Petersburg-

Viktor stood in a room where patients usually got checked out. He had been to his fair share of clinics before, being a professional athlete. But this one is different. This one is designed specifically to treat Omegas and their conditions. He had never been inside one before this point.

Most of this due to his secondary gender, but a small portion of it is due to the fact that his fiancé had never asked him to come along for check-ups. There was a reason he was here though. A reason he had chosen to come alone too. He was going to find out why his Yuuri had been here before disappearing.

All he wanted were answers. Everyone else seemed to know but him. It was almost as though they were keeping the information a secret. He figured it was just a regular appointment to make sure that his fiancé was still in good condition to compete for the season and maybe to get some prescription suppressants since they were getting ready to train.

Yuuri had gone off them temporarily due to them moving and adjusting to life in Saint Petersburg. His fiancé always took them while training for the season though; knowing that spending any major amount of time away from the ice could impact his season. Of course, Viktor had very much enjoyed the time he did get to spend with his beloved.

His Yuuri had surprised him by suggesting they share a heat together. The only disappointment was that they had to be careful and pull out. Despite the fact that suppressants had been developed, birth control and contraceptive options were lacking, fairly expensive, and failed more than half the time.

Omegas were incredibly fertile during their heats.

Despite having no protection, they had been extra careful during his fiancé’s heat as far as he recalled. Most of it was a blur and he was more focused on the feeling rather than what they were doing all the time.

From what he recalled though, he figured this wouldn’t be as big of a deal as everyone was making it out to be. He knew that Yuuri had listed him as an emergency contact and that he had been given privileges to know his beloved medical records.

Not just because he was engaged to the man, but also because he was Yuuri’s coach. He waited for the doctor to return to the room. Everything about the space felt weird to him. The place was designed to be more comforting than Alpha-specific clinics. Those were all painted the same and he always felt more like a number than a person. 

This seemed to be the opposite. There were personal touches everywhere in the room. From the comfortable chairs in the corner to the stuffed animals that were in in between the usual items on the room’s counter. Viktor definitely felt more comfortable in this room compared to his experience in clinics.

As comfortable as he could be.

The door finally opened and Viktor saw an aging doctor walk in. The man had a file in his hand and looked at him.

“You’re Mister Nikiforov?”

“Yes,” he answered.

The older man nodded. “I found your fiancé’s file. I’ve reviewed his medical records for the date you were asking for.” There was a weird expression on the man’s face, something that told him whatever was contained in his fiancé’s medical file was anything but normal. “Mister Katsuki came in about two weeks ago to figure out what was wrong with him.” 

His Yuuri had been sick? Why didn’t he know? 

“He’d been feeling light-headed, dizzy, and nauseous for a little bit. We performed a couple of tests and were able to determine he was pregnant.” 

 _Pregnant_.

Viktor tried to process the word. “What?”

“According to his file, he was about two months along.”

His Yuuri was pregnant and he didn’t even know until now.

Pregnant and missing.

Viktor couldn’t breathe.

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Viktor continued to drown in the beautiful eyes staring at him. They looked like his from so many years ago. Bright. Full of innocence. He stretched out his other hand to touch the small child.

“Our son,” he whispered. His fingers going through soft black locks. The toddler leaning into his touch. Their eyes remained locked on each other. 

“Our son,” Yuuri echoed back to him. Viktor felt the warmth coming from the child. He didn’t think he’d ever stop crying now. “I was going to tell you that night…I had just gotten it confirmed.”

“He’s so beautiful.” The child lifted both arms toward him. He understood what the toddler wanted. “May I?” he asked Yuuri. 

Once his Yuuri nodded in affirmation, he let go of his fiancé’s hand and took the child in his arms. Viktor pulled the toddler close to his neck. He could feel the child sniff his neck. In turn, he scented the child himself. 

His son.

“What’s his name?” Viktor asked quietly. The toddler pulled away from his neck to stare at him again. He kept his gaze focused on the blue eyes.

“Nika,” Yuuri answered. “Well, Nikita Katsuki-Nikiforov.”

Viktor felt his heart warm at the name. Nikita. Unconquerable.

“You gave him a Russian name,” Viktor said with a smile. The boy leaned back in to smell his neck.

“I knew it would make you happy,” his fiancé whispered. Viktor didn’t know if he could love Yuuri any more than he did now. Despite the child be born during a painful time, his fiancé had thought of him. “Yura had to help me pick out a name.” 

He did not miss the fond way the nickname fell from his fiancé’s lips. Nor did he miss the distant expression his Yuuri’s eyes held, but brushed those aside. Viktor didn’t mind Yurio helping his beloved through that time. In fact, it made him happier knowing that his Yuuri had someone familiar by his side during the period they were apart.

If he couldn’t protect his beloved, at least someone else could.

“It’s perfect. He’s perfect.” 

It was his Yuuri’s turn to cry. “I didn’t know how you’d react. I hadn’t even told you yet. And now you have a son.” 

Viktor leaned forward, holding Nika as still as possible against his body, and kissed his fiancé on the forehead first. Yuuri relaxed underneath the gesture. Pleased with the response, he couldn’t stop himself from his next action. Viktor next pressed a gentle kiss on Yuuri’s lips. The other went rigid and did not return it.

He pulled away, realizing his mistake. Now his beloved was once again fighting an inner battle. And it was his fault. 

He hoped he hadn’t just ruined everything between them. This was supposed to be a sweet reunion. That one action had brought back the reality neither of them were ready to face. Viktor watched as his fiancé took in several deep breaths to keep panic at bay.

 _Please don’t get dragged under_. 

It seems his prayer was answered as his fiancé exhaled sharply before his expression cleared.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. He knew that he had messed up. While he couldn’t take back the action, he would do everything he could to make it up.

Yuuri nodded. “I’m sorry too.”

“We’ll talk about it later,” Viktor said gently. “Do you want to hold Nika again?”

“Please,” his fiancé muttered. Viktor handed the toddler over without hesitation. The child didn’t complain about being moved, merely nuzzled against Yuuri’s neck. 

“Is it okay if I hold your hand again?” he asked. 

Yuuri offered it to him after hesitating a little. He took it gently. 

“You can pull away if it makes you uncomfortable. I won’t be offended.”

Viktor watched happily as his beloved held on to his child. They had a long way to go, he knew that much. Before his fiancé’s disappearance, they had been so in sync. Now, they weren’t. It would just be like those first few months in Hasetsu. But every moment would be worth it in the end. There were so many questions that he wanted to ask his Yuuri.

 _When was Nika born_? 

The toddler seemed smaller than he should be for how long they were missing. But he didn’t want to accidentally trigger his fiancé again. So he kept the question to himself. He would ask it eventually.

He watched his fiancé start to drift off to sleep. Nika’s eyes also drooping. They looked adorable together. As Yuuri’s head fell to one side, he had a better view to something he hadn’t noticed before.

Someone had bonded with Yuuri. _His Yuuri_.

Viktor could feel his blood boiling.

“Who bonded with him?” he growled, doing his best not to wake his fiancé.

“We don’t know,” Miss Vanzin whispered. “He hasn’t talked about it.”

Viktor felt incredibly angry with himself. He had suggested waiting to bond with Yuuri until they were married. But now, he wished he had done it two years ago.

He moved away from his fiancé. Everything was spiraling out of control. His Yuuri couldn’t stand to be kissed by him. Now he had to handle the revelation that his beloved was _bonded_ to another person. Someone who could potentially harm his Yuuri. Viktor needed answers.

“Has the bond been fading?” he asked.

“No,” came the honest answer from Miss Vanzin.

His Yuuri gave a distressed whimper in his sleep. Viktor shot the sleeping male a quick glance. He couldn’t tell why the other was upset. 

“We think the person who bonded with him is keeping it open.”

“You realize what could happen, right?” he said in a low voice. 

“Yes,” she answered.

“Do you? Because your security seemed pretty lax to me. They could come back for him! They could find him again and take him away from me.” 

“You don’t have to worry about that,” a new voice growled. Viktor turned to look in the direction of the newcomer. 

“Yurio,” he breathed, not recognizing the teen at first. “What are you talking about? Do you know who bonded with him?”

Again, his fiancé gave a distressed whimper. Yurio headed straight for his beloved’s bed and climbed into it. Unconsciously, his Yuuri sought out the teen’s neck and breathed deeply. Viktor didn’t miss the way his fiancé relaxed instantly. Nor did he miss Nika reaching out for Yurio.

The teen ruffled the boy’s hair. Viktor didn’t miss the way his son leaned into the touch. Nor did he miss how the teen’s hand shook.

“I’m the one bonded with him.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, so I wanted to give a detailed explanation about how bonding works in this world, but I'm running out of time to post this chapter. The main thing to know is that there are different types of bonds: platonic and mate. Platonic is done outside of heat/rut and usually for protection. These can be closed at any time. Mate is done during a heat/rut period and can't be closed. These can be one-sided or two-sided. Also, mate bonds can be used to track down each other which is why Viktor freaks out at the end. A longer explanation will be given next chapter, I promise.
> 
> That all said: Yuri and Yuuri have a platonic bond (because I know that's what you're all dying to know). This gets explained later on, but just want to clarify that now.
> 
> Also, I'm sorry for the ending. I tried so hard not to leave it that way, but there wasn't a better time.
> 
> Anyway, follow me @LadyMWrites


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for getting this chapter out later than I intended. I got pretty sick in the middle of the week and it just screws everything up. Nothing I can do about it either. Just some weeks I'll get sick and then a couple days later, everything is fine.
> 
> Without further ado, some longer explanation about bonds before I go into my chapter warnings.
> 
> Platonic Bonds:  
> These can be done outside heats/ruts and can be one-sided and two-sided. I mentioned that they can also be done for protection, but only with compatible people. Typically this is a long-term friend or even distant family member. There are tests done to make sure the two can safely form a platonic bond without repercussions. While testing is done, the two parties go through counseling. They both have to get lawyers and have contracts drawn up to ensure all the conditions are met and no one is abused. And they have to follow up every three months.
> 
> As I mentioned, these can be one-way or two-way bonds. They look, work, feel exactly like a mating bond so it's impossible to tell type of bond a person actually has. But platonic bonds are rare enough (because of all the legal bullshit that they have to go through) that it's safe to assume someone has a mating bond instead of a platonic bond. These can be closed at will of the person who makes the mark.
> 
> If the two people are not compatible and they bond, the person being bitten will experience excruciating pain for months, sometimes up to a year after the bond is attempted. During that time, no one else can attempt to create a new bond. (And of course, these symptoms can be experienced during forced bonds.)
> 
> Mating Bonds:  
> For mating bonds, no tests are needed to ensure compatibility. Why? Because it's done during a heat/rut which helps make two people compatible. As I mentioned last chapter, these are permanent and cannot be closed. This bond also differs in the fact that mates can track each other if needed. Again, these can be two-way or one-way.
> 
> (And of course, both types of bonds can be consensual or non-consensual.) 
> 
> Trigger Warnings (in order of appearance):
> 
> ***Three star warning for the following: A rape scene that isn't super graphic, but deserves this rating because of the subject matter. It contains some pieces to the story, which is why I provided a summary at the end for those who do not want to read it.
> 
> **Two star warning for PTSD-like experience/panic attack that's descriptive enough to bump it up from my normal warnings. 
> 
> *One star warning for some warped perceptions/low-key panic attack (it probably doesn't deserve the one star warning, but I'm playing it safe since it follows after the two star warning).

-Two Years Ago, Unknown-

Yuri groaned. His stomach threatened to violently expel whatever contents were inside. He took in several deep breaths and tried to recall what had happened to make him feel so awful. All he could remember was walking with Katsudon before a cloth was shoved over his face and he was tossed in the side of a van.

Then he remembered a needle being stuck in his arm. Yuri touched the spot, frowning at how sore it still was. He opened his eyes, noticing he was no longer in the filthy van, but a truck.

And he wasn’t alone.

Several scents assaulted his nose. They mingled together in a haze, but there was one that he could pick out from the rest. His eyes immediately went to search for the owner of the scent. Yuri locked eyes with Katsudon. The older male attempting to make himself smaller on the opposite side of the military-style truck they were now in.

Katsudon’s hands were covering his neck, breathing erratic. Yuri knew this is what the older male did whenever he felt threatened. With a small sniff, he realized _why_. Arousal was becoming a stronger feature in the enclosed area. The Omega’s scent was stronger than usual, he noted.

He registered the look of fear in the other’s face and pushed himself toward the older male. Though sluggish, he made it to Katsudon’s side.

“Oi, you okay?” he asked quietly in English. Yuri knew all the Alphas were watching him. He didn’t think he could handle all of them if they chose to push him away from the Omega.

“I’m not safe,” the older male whispered back. “Even if they don’t manage to get me here, someone else could later.”

He only vaguely understood what the Omega meant. Katsudon’s secondary gender was highly sought after—especially by Alphas. The older male’s primary gender made him an even bigger prize in their eyes. Yuri surveyed the truck again. He inhaled deeply.

Yuri didn’t know where they were heading, but had the feeling it wasn’t a happy place. Given the number of them in the truck, he could only think of a couple of possibilities.

“I can’t protect you. There’s too many of them and I still feel weak.”

He could sense the other’s distress growing. Shit, that was not what he intended. If Katsudon didn’t calm down, they could be in more trouble soon.

“I will do everything I can though,” he promised. That did nothing to ease the Omega male it seemed. Yuri looked at the faces of those on the truck. Many of them were still asleep or groggy enough that they wouldn’t be much of a challenge.

He guessed about half of them were Betas, but it was hard to be certain given the number of scents in the enclosed space. A few of those he knew were Alphas wouldn’t be much of a challenge. However, he was certain the muscular ones sitting in a corner across from them would give him trouble.

Katsudon clenched his hands tighter around his neck, also smelling the increase in pheromones. “I’m so stupid.”

“No you’re not,” he reassured. Though he wasn’t certain as to what Katsudon was referring to.

“I am. If I hadn’t gone to the appointment. If I hadn’t made you come with me. If I had just let Viktor bond with me, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

Yuri knew the beginning signs of a panic attack, but didn’t think he’d have to deal with one.

“No one asks to be dragged off the streets, Katsudon. You couldn’t have known. I voluntarily went with you. This isn’t your fault.”

There was a moment of silence. He wasn’t sure if the older male had heard his words at all. He turned to face the Omega, noticing that he was the sole focus of Katsudon’s intense gaze. Yuri shifted uncomfortably, not sure what was going through the mind of the other.

“Bond me,” Katsudon said suddenly. His eyes widened. 

“What?” he managed to get out. 

The Omega’s eyes narrowed, shimmering with determination. “If you bond with me, I will be protected.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking,” Yuri dismissed. A flash of anger sparked across Katsudon’s face.

“I know exactly what I’m asking. If a stranger bonds with me and they’re compatible, they can know my thoughts, feelings, and might never close the bond. I wouldn’t be truly free if we are ever able to leave again.”

Yuri understood the fears Katsudon had. But bonding was usually reserved for mates. He couldn’t do that to the Omega.

 _To Viktor_.

Hell, they didn’t even know if they would be able to form the platonic bond properly. If they couldn’t, none of this would matter in the long run.

“If it’s you, then you can close the bond if… _when_ we’re safe,” Katsudon continued. He looked close to tears. Yuri felt his own starting to form. He didn’t want to consider the possibility that they wouldn’t make it out. 

“We might not be compatible,” he tried to argue. “It will hurt worse if we aren’t.”

Yuri knew full well how male Omegas were treated outside of normal society. The world pretended they were all equal, but everyone turned a blind eye to the cruel treatment Omegas could endure.

He was certain that’s why Katsudon was making this request, but it was too much to consider at this point.

“I know, but it’s something I have to try. I’d rather suffer the consequences of a failed attempt over and over again than have a stranger bond with me,” the older male answered. “I’m not asking to bond with you. I can’t put you through that pain.”

He took in a deep breath. “What about Viktor?”

“It will be fine. He’ll understand. If the bond works, it’s only temporary. Please,” Katsudon begged.

_But what if he doesn’t?_

Yuri hoped that Viktor would, but he didn’t think the Omega’s fiancé would understand. Of course, he had heard of friends helping each other out by temporarily bonding for protection, but there were procedures that were followed. Tests that were done to make sure the two would be a good fit. There was none of that here.

They didn’t have time.

If the two friends weren’t compatible, the one being bitten would suffer excruciating pain for several months as the body rejected the bond. The only benefit was that no one would be able to bond with them during that time.

“Okay,” he breathed out. Instantly, Katsudon looked relieved with his answer. Yuri could feel regret coming to the surface. Questions of “what ifs” came bubbling to the surface. He had to ignore his personal feelings though. The Omega wouldn’t feel safe if he didn’t do this. At least an attempt to try. 

The Omega male lowered his hand, exposing his neck to Yuri. The arousal in the room increased as Katsudon’s scent filled the truck. He hesitated. In the corner of his eye, he could see the imposing group of Alphas surge forward. 

 _He won’t be safe_.

He didn’t have time to think. Consequences could come later. All that mattered was making sure the older male was safe. Even if it was temporary.

Yuri bit into Katsudon’s neck.

The Omega male screamed in pain. He felt his heart clench. Was Katsudon’s body was rejecting the bond? What had he done?

He pulled away from the Omega, wiping away blood from his mouth. The Omega panted heavily. Pain written on the older male’s face. His heart beat loudly.

_He’s going to reject the bond. We aren’t compatible._

Suddenly, Yuri felt new emotions crashing through him.

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Viktor could feel his entire body shaking at what he just heard.

 _“I’m the one who bonded with him_.”

The words had painfully come from Yuri Plisetsky’s mouth. He couldn’t understand why a then 16-year-old thought to bond with _his_ fiancé.

“Viktor,” Doctor Luski said sharply. He directed his attention back at the older male. “Let’s discuss this elsewhere.” 

“I don’t want to,” he growled. “I want _him—_ ” Viktor pointed at Yurio “—to explain what the hell he means.” 

He had never been threatened by the teen before. He knew the teen was abrasive, rude, but cared deeply. The boy would never admit it, but Viktor knew the truth. An insight that irritated the younger male to no end at times. 

“It’s not the place to discuss it,” Doctor Luski continued.

“This is exactly the time to discuss it. He’s the one who brought it up,” Viktor argued. Rationally, he knew Doctor Luski was right. However, his Alpha side was in control. All it could see was Yurio clinging to his fiancé. Touching his son. 

Destroying his family. 

Viktor growled. Yurio lifted his head, meeting his gaze directly. A growl rumbled from the young Alpha’s throat. If he were thinking rationally, he’d realize it was because the teen was feeling threatened. Instead, he saw it as a direct challenge. An invitation to fight.

Without warning, he lunged toward Yurio. His hands curled around the teen’s frail wrists, trying to separate him from his family. The young Alpha yelped and tried to pull away from him.

In the background, he registered the sound of someone crying. 

A quick glance down and he noticed it was his son shedding tears. Viktor growled. Yurio was upsetting his child. He needed to get the young Alpha away from Nika immediately.

However much he was determined to get Yurio away from his family, the young Alpha seemed intent on staying where he was. Their struggle continued. Frustration mounted. All he could register was the threat. His son’s cries. Now, a desperate voice.

“Viktor, stop!”

He paused only for a moment to register who was speaking to him. Yuuri. _His Yuuri_.

Viktor looked at his fiancé, who had tears in his eyes. Another growl. It was all Yurio’s fault for this. He brought back a fist, fully intending to strike the uncooperative Alpha.

To beat him into submission.

A look of terror overtook the young Alpha’s eyes.

A darker part of himself Viktor hated, was satisfied at the reaction. He brought his fist forward, not registering the fact that his fiancé had moved in front of his blow.

Not until after it was delivered.

He relinquished his grip on the young Alpha immediately. All he could see was the reddening mark on his Yuuri’s face. His fiancé was equally in shock.

“Yuuri,” he whispered. Viktor made a move to touch the other’s face when a hiss escaped from his beloved.

“Don’t touch,” Yuuri said harshly. He stopped. Brown eyes met his own. He could see anger and determination in his beloved. “I want you to leave.” Viktor didn’t move. “ _Now_.”

Someone was dragging him—away from his fiancé.

His Yuuri had rejected him. For another Alpha.

One he was familiar with. One that was allowed to touch and approach his fiancé without fear. Viktor growled again as he was taken back to that damn conference room.

“Breathe.”

He registered that Doctor Luski was with him. They went through a few rounds of breathing exercises. He did not feel any more calm because of them. All he could think about was the fact that Yurio was in the room with his fiancé while he had been kicked out.

“How did you feel getting to see your son today?”

Distraction. The doctor was going to try every technique in the book to get him refocused after what had just happened.

“Did you know?” he asked.

The doctor shook his head. “Neither of them made mention of it.”

“This changes everything. I don’t want him near my fiancé. He needs to cut off the bond immediately.”

“I disagree.”

“ _What?_ ”

“From what I’ve observed, your fiancé is very dependent on that bond. They may have escaped where they were held captive, but they’re still in survival mode. They don’t trust us completely. If any one of us were to ask them to close the bond, it’ll have permanent, _damaging_ consequences. You don’t want to hurt your fiancé more, do you?”

Viktor thought about the doctor’s words. It had been several weeks since the two had been rescued. Why couldn’t they be trusted?

“Them being bonded complicates matters, but it’s nothing we won’t be able to work through. When it’s safe for them to break the bond, we can try. But it may be longer than you want. It’s also best if we do more individual sessions before you meet with your fiancé again.”

Viktor flinched at the words. It was torture knowing Yurio had unrestricted access to his beloved. But to not be able to see his Yuuri on top of that would kill him.

“Please don’t keep him from me,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Doctor Luski nodded. “I believe you regret your actions. However, this is not just about your health, but his as well.”

The words stung more than the doctor had meant. He hadn’t thought about how his fiancé would react. Or even how Yurio would in that situation. Viktor slumped his shoulders in resignation.

“I understand.”

“I’ll call Mister Feltsman to have him pick you up. We’ll meet tomorrow morning at eight.”

Tears fell down his face. This wasn’t how their first meeting was supposed to go.

_I’m so sorry, Yuuri._

 

-***Two Years Ago, Unknown***-

The armed personnel around them grabbed him roughly, pulling him away from Katsudon. He gave a shout and struggled against their grip, but it was difficult. Yuri could still feel the lingering effects of the drugs on his system.

A growl escaped his throat. They slapped him again in response. He surged forward, trying to knock one of the guards away. It didn’t work.

A kick to his stomach brought him to his knees. Followed by two more that left him equally winded. But it stopped.

“Not too much,” one of his guards said harshly.

“I know,” another snapped.

Three other guards had surrounded Katsudon. The older male fighting against their hold and did much better than him, Yuri noted bitterly. They led the Omega to a nearby post. It was then he noticed they were in a clearing with several other posts lined up. He could only imagine what else they were used for at this compound.

The guards stripped the Omega of his clothes. They forced Katsudon to bend down, ass out, as they tied his wrists around the post. Everyone around them was visibly aroused at the sight.

Yuri attempted to turn his head away. But his head was turned forward by one of the guards holding on to him. He thrashed against their hold.

“Because this Omega’s Alpha doesn’t know his place, everyone will get a turn with the Omega,” a guard announced. The words sparked more desire from those around them and panic in both Yuri and Katsudon.

The guard leaned in toward him. “This will prepare him for his future duties. He has to learn how to take at least 20 a day. Now watch.” 

Hands buried themselves in his hair, yanking his head upward. He saw one of the guards thrust into Katsudon, unprepared and forceful. The older male screamed in pain and was reward with a dick in his mouth.

“He’ll end up with more clients because he’s pregnant. Pregnant Omegas drive Alphas crazy. Even if they are mated,” the guard taunted.

Yuri didn’t bother to correct the man on their relationship status. Katsudon had asked for his protection in the form of a bond mark. It was insignificant to what was going on in front of him. No matter what, he couldn’t look away. Every time he tried or closed his eyes for a second too long, a jerk to his hair was given. 

They were trying to break them.

One by one, the guards took their turn either in the Omega’s mouth or anus. Katsudon’s face was streaked with tears. Once each of the uniformed men had a turn, they let those that had ridden on the truck have a turn. He could see blood and other fluids running down the Omega’s thighs.

Through the fresh bond, he could feel the pain, sadness, shame, and anxiety flare up from the other person. The feeling was overwhelming. Yuri fought back tears. There was nothing he could do.

Katsudon’s eyes met his.

 _Don’t look at me_.

He couldn’t afford to cry right now.

Their goal of trying to break them was working. Katsudon had always been closer to the edge than him. With everything he could suddenly feel, the emotions were overwhelming and unrelenting. He wanted to numb everything out.

Things got easier once Katsudon fell unconscious. They didn’t stop abusing the Omega though. They kept going until every single person got to have a turn with them, as promised.

Yuri stared at the unconscious person in front of him, guilt clawing at him. He was so pathetic; he couldn’t protect Katsudon from what had happened—what was going to happen frequently from what the guards said.

“I’m sorry, Katsud—” he trailed off. The nickname was too friendly. Yuri didn’t want them to continue to hurt either of them because of their supposed relationship. He refused to call the older male by a name they shared. “Katsuki.”

It was distant, cold. No one could hurt them if he put distance between them. He didn’t want either of them to be continuously hurt with each other. It would be better this way, Yuri tried to convince himself. 

Referring to Katsuki by his last name eased some of Yuri’s guilt.

But they found new ways to hurt them.

*****************************

 

-**Present Day, Hospital**-

Yuri had known it would be impossible to avoid Viktor. Their lives were continuously tied together by the same people now. However, a large part of him hoped that he could make it through at least one more day without seeing the older male.

That didn’t happen. He was taken to his old hospital room to stay until the meeting had passed. Knowing Katsuki’s strength, Yuri estimated being stuck there for at least an hour. Miss Vanzin had kindly provided him with books to occupy his time.

But they were easy to ignore once the meeting actually began. Yuri could feel the discomfort through his bond. It was soon replaced with joy and relief. He sighed. At least the meeting seemed to be going well

He started a new chapter, letting himself get lost in the story. It was all too brief of an escape.

An overwhelming surge of panic and fear washed over him. He got up immediately and started to make his way toward Katsuki’s room. Yuri didn’t care if he had to confront Viktor Nikiforov and kick his ass. He would do it if that man had hurt Katsuki.

When he arrived, he heard Viktor apologizing. He sighed. Looks like he had gotten worked up for nothing. As he was about to turn away, a growl filled the room along with a burst of anger.

It was followed by a demand to know who bonded with Katsuki. 

Yuri turned to leave, knowing he was not ready for that conversation. Not now. Possibly not ever. So it was really unfair when he felt the Omega’s distress through the bond.

 _Shit_.

There were nurses there; they could take care of Katsuki. His heart pounded as he took a few steps away from the room. But then there was that whine again. Another feeling of distress. Katsuki was having another damn nightmare and it would only get worse if he wasn’t there.

He took a deep breath.

_Do this for him. Katsuki needs you._

Yuri marched in the room as Viktor was expressing his fears.

“You don’t have to worry about that.”

He could hear his voice shaking. It was better not to look at Viktor. Just focus on Katsuki. He could sense the other’s distress growing. If he didn’t hurry, the nightmare would become worse.

Yuri climbed into bed next to the Omega and offered his neck to the other. He was well aware of the several pairs of eyes on him. Nika was there too. Out of habit, he went to ruffle the boy’s hair, noticing how much he was shaking.

“I’m the one who bonded with him,” he confessed.

The truth would come out eventually. No matter how much he tried to hide it from Viktor, the other would find out. If he didn’t tell the older Alpha, Katsuki likely would.

He didn’t dare look at anyone else but Nika. The child was grounding him, keeping him from slipping into a panic attack. He could feel the anger in the room increasing.

 _I’m going to die_.

He couldn’t breathe properly again. His chest tightening. Then, a growl directed toward him. As if he was a threat. Yuri met Viktor’s gaze for the first time. Instinctually, responded with one of his own. Yuri didn’t want to fight Viktor, but he would sure as hell protect Katsuki and Nika if the older Alpha got out of control. They didn’t deserve any more pain and suffering.

The three of them had been through enough.

He could see very well what the two-year separation had done to the older Alpha. It hadn’t been kind to Viktor either. Unsurprising since Katsuki and Viktor had been inseparable—and insufferable—in the time prior to their disappearance. He once wouldn’t have been able to comprehend being that reliant, that dependent upon someone.

Now he could.

Because he had grown to rely on Katsuki and Nika for strength during their time at the compound. It frightened him how much he needed the other two. At first, he tried to resist the feeling, but it was inevitable. Their cruel reality kept pushing them closer.

He had wanted the distance so something like this would never happen. It never worked. Every time he thought they would be fine, some new crisis came up. And they had no choice but to get through it on their own.

It was sudden. And brought him right back to the compound. Hands restrained his wrists, trying to pull him away from Katsuki and Nika. He tried to pull away. It was useless.

His body wasn’t at full strength. But still, he struggled. Yuri had to get the fight away from the two so not to bother them. He couldn’t let them get involved. He would take whatever punishment as long as the other two were safe.

The fight didn’t go the way he wanted though. Soon, he could hear Nika wailing. Distress filled the room. He wasn’t sure if it was from the child or his own. Panic was building up in him as he felt Katsuki starting to stir.

 _Stay asleep_.

But with a distressed child, there was no way the Omega was going to ignore what was happening. Yuri saw Viktor pull back his fist. The threat of physical violence stopped his resistance.

Physical violence was always brief in the compound. What came next was always much worse.

_I’m sorry, Katsuki. I didn’t mean to hurt you again. I tried to be good._

The blow never came. Not on him anyway. It took a moment to register that Katsuki had pushed himself in between the two of them. That the Omega had taken the blow. Panic tore through him. He tried to breathe, but couldn’t.

Something worse was coming.

Katsuki was going to be tortured.

He was going to have to watch.

Why didn’t he just behave? Why did he always cause others pain? He was useless. He had failed over and over again to protect Katsuki and Nika safe.

“Yura,” he heard distantly. He tried to figure out who was speaking to him, but the memories of the compound were still filling his mind. They would never escape. Could never escape.

They would die there eventually, wouldn’t they? It was coming. They would no longer be useful.

“Yura,” he heard again. Louder this time with more clarity. He looked over to meet Katsuki’s gaze.

He could only think about his empty promises.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Tears falling down his face. “I’ve been lying to you all this time. I kept hoping…”

“Yura, we’re not at the compound anymore. We’re in a hospital in Moscow. We’re safe. You saved us, Yura. You saved me and Nika. We’re fine thanks to you. Can you understand me?”

He nodded. “I can hear you.”

“You’re safe now. I promise nothing else will hurt you. We’re all safe. You saved us, protected us. We’re going to be just fine.”

This time the reassurances worked. He curled up against the Omega. 

Yuri didn’t bother to hide his sobs.

Katsuki made small circles on his back, continuing to promise he was safe. That Viktor couldn’t harm him. His breathing got easier, but it did nothing to ease his conscious. 

 _He’ll be back though. He’ll kill me then_.

 

-*Yuuri*-

Yuuri ran his fingers through Yura’s soft hair, The teen was fast asleep, curled up against him, nose pressed against his neck. Tear tracks still visible on the other’s face.

He just hoped Viktor understood why he had kept Yura close to him.

Reviewing the circumstances in his mind, he wouldn’t be surprised if Viktor viewed it as a slight against him. He would never abandon Viktor for the younger Alpha under normal conditions. But the day had been anything but normal.

Yura had needed him more than Viktor did. It was an easy choice in the moment. Especially since he knew the teen had came dangerously close to breaking completely. The teen was strong. But was allowed to have moments of complete vulnerability. Especially after carrying such a heavy burden for all this time.

It’s mostly why he chose to support the teen.

However, doubt was quick to counter every good thought he had.

Panic started to bubble beneath the surface. What if his fiancé didn’t understand? What if Viktor truly believed that he had chosen Yura? 

Would their relationship survive?

When he saw his fiancé next, he needed to reassure Viktor that he didn’t want anyone else in his life. There would be challenges. But there was no one Yuuri needed more in his life than Viktor. The young Alpha stirred in his sleep. 

“Why are you still up?” Yura slurred.

“Can’t sleep,” he answered. “You’re still tired. You should go back to bed.”

The young Alpha shook his head. “I’m fine,” he said sleepily. Yuuri smiled at the effort. “What’s on your mind?”

Yuuri exhaled deeply. “A lot. Nothing that can’t be fixed.”

“And that’s why you can’t sleep?”

He smiled. “No. That’s not the only reason.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Yura asked.

“I don’t think you want to listen to this,” Yuuri said gently.

“Why?”

“Because it has to do with what happened earlier.”

Yura stiffened next to him. He continued to stroke the younger male’s hair. The response was better than what he was expected from other. But Yuuri knew not to press unless the Alpha brought up the topic.

Even though they had gone through so much together, Yuuri knew there were things the other kept hidden from him. He didn’t know whether it was because the younger male was trying to be strong or if this was an attempt to not further Yuuri’s own burden. Regardless of the reason, he knew just how lonely and painful that path could be.

He had walked it before.

Now that he knew what a healthy support system looked like, Yuuri wasn’t going to go back. It would take a while to get him to fully open up to others again, but just knowing who was truly there for him in all his up and down moments helped. 

“Yura,” he said softly.

“Hmm?”

“I hope you know that I’m here for you.”

The younger male pulled away from his spot against his neck, looking him in the eyes. He could see the other trying to calculate why Yuuri brought this topic up. “I know.”

He returned the intense gaze the other was giving him. “If you ever need to talk, I will always listen. You don’t have to worry about being a burden to me.”

Yura frowned and broke eye contact. “You have your own problems to deal with. Don’t need mine on top of it.”

“Yura,” he said a bit firmer. The younger male looked at him again. “You need to be able to talk to someone about what’s going through your mind. If you can’t talk to a therapist, then you can talk with me. I have my own problems, yes. But that will never get in the way of listening to you and being there when you really need someone to talk to. You don’t have to put on a brave face around me. You’ve seen me at some of my worst moments and never left my side. I will do the same for you.”

They continued to gaze at each other for a few minutes. He knew that Yura was processing what he said and was looking for any hint of insincerity in his tone. Yuuri meant every word, but they were merely sayings. Each one could easily be dismissed.

Especially if his actions didn’t fall in line.

Yuuri knew first hand how fragile trust could be. If Yura decided to trust him, he would be accepting a huge responsibility to never let the other down. Even if they never outright express what they really needed.

Yura resumed his former position, breathing in his scent deeply. “I’m afraid,” the younger male whispered. Yuuri resumed running his fingers through the teen’s hair.

“Of what?” he asked.

There was a moment of silence. Yuuri didn’t care if the teen answered his question or not. Whatever the other wanted to tell him would be more than enough.

“Of Viktor.” A heavy pause. “I told him we were bonded,” Yura whispered.

Yuuri froze. He hadn’t expected part of their story to come out so soon, but there was nothing he could do about it right now.

He felt his heart clench. But he kept his breathing even. Of course there were several thoughts running through his mind. Each one wanting to defend his fiancé and reassure Yura that Viktor didn’t mean anything by his earlier actions. That the older male just needed time to process and a full, proper explanation.

Especially since the blame fell on him for asking Yura to bond with him two years ago.

But doubts lingered in his own mind.

He hadn’t ever seen Viktor react that way before. But their lives had been different back then. Now, everything he once knew could no longer be relied upon. What had existed before was unobtainable.

Their lives would now forever be tainted by the past two years.

For better or worse.

“I knew he would be mad at me for what I did to you.”

 _Which is nothing I didn’t ask for_.

“I just never thought he would...try to attack me,” Yura confessed. “I’m afraid he’s going to try and kill me. I’d deserve it too. I let so much happen to you and Nika. I couldn’t protect you. And I’m the one who was with you for two years. He’ll never forgive me for that or the fact that we’re bonded. I may as well have kidnapped you two years ago. I’ve stolen so many things from him. He’ll never get them back.”

He could feel the tears falling from the younger male.

“Oh Yura,” Yuuri whispered. “You’re not responsible for what they did to me. There was nothing you could have done to stop it from happening. You did more for me than I could ever ask. You help me get through so much. Nika and I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for you.” 

Yuuri wrapped an arm around Yura. Tears now flowing from both of their eyes. They were broken, yes. But they would keep fighting.

Even if they weren’t sure what their future would look like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Brief summary of the scene***  
> Once they arrive at the compound, Yuri puts up a fight with the guards. One of the guards hits him before the guard is stopped by another. They decide to teach Yuri his place by using Yuuri as an example. Yuuri is tied and raped repeatedly while Yuri is forced to watch. Yuri can no longer call him by "Katsudon" and switches to using "Katsuki." He does this to try and create distance between them so he doesn't continue to get hurt (trying to trick himself into thinking he's that close to Yuuri).  
> ***
> 
> As always, you can find me on Twitter @LadyMWrites.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support. I was really nervous about posting the last chapter, but you were all so kind with your reviews. I appreciate each one of them.
> 
> There are a couple of minor warnings. Mostly for anxiety, warped perceptions, and the aftermath of what happened last chapter. Nothing too bad though.

-Present Day, Hotel-

Viktor had known there would be things he would have to accept now that he had Yuuri back in his life. It was obvious to him that a lot had happened in their time apart. Memories that he would never be able to take away from his fiancé. Pain he couldn’t erase.

As much as that bothered Viktor, their relationship change also weighed heavily on him. There were a limited number of options. The first was not to deal with the situation at all and leave his fiancé all together.

His stomach clenched at the thought of being separated from his Yuuri. Two years had been long enough. Forever was incomprehensible. But the other option was to just accept what had happened. It was sprung on him without warning. Like so many other things that day. He couldn’t handle all the new information. 

Not right now at least.

All he wanted right now was to be comforted by his fiancé. To hold him. Reconnect after all their time apart. But the world isn’t perfect. Neither was their relationship. Nothing his therapy had taught him had prepared him for what he had experienced. He went from joy to despair within just a couple of hours. 

And he still knew that they had barely scratched the surface. 

He was not a perfect man. But he firmly believed that there was nothing that he and Yuuri couldn’t handle together. Now, his beloved was bonded to another Alpha. A mutual friend. Someone he trusted never to bring harm to either of them.

Deep down, Viktor knew that the circumstances had left them with little choice. But it was too much, too quick. Too hard to rationally understand at this moment. He imagined the reunion being beautiful--and it was in its own right. However, it would forever be marred by the last revelation made. 

Viktor hadn’t been allowed back into his fiancé’s room after their last encounter. A feeling that still stung. It was almost as though Yuuri had chosen Yurio over him. He knew that wasn’t the case, but he couldn’t separate the irrational from the rational at this point. 

Not when so much had changed. 

Yakov was with him now in the hotel room, but didn’t say anything to him despite the need to have a talk between them. It was obvious. Viktor sighed. 

“What?” he asked, trying to get it at least one obligation out of the way so he could replay every interaction he had earlier in the day. Self-loathing in peace was not ideal, but exactly what he needed at this moment.

The older male shrugged. “You tell me. You’re the one who’s distressed.”

Viktor closed his eyes. “Did you know?” he asked.

“About what?” 

“About Yurio bonding with my fiancé?” 

“No. He’s hasn’t talked much about what he experienced during his time missing. And I’m not in a hurry to get answers. Part of me doesn’t want to know. It’s incredibly selfish. Part of me knows that Yura probably went through hell, but I’m the one who’s too scared to know the truth.” 

Viktor knew that feeling all too well. “I’m just starting to find out. I don’t think I can handle anymore. It might break me. I can’t imagine actually going through what they did.”

“The worst part for me is knowing that Yura doesn’t think he’s that bad off. He thinks your Yuuri is the one who needs more help than him.”

Viktor felt his heart break. He knew that Yurio had done what was needed to protect his fiancé, but he was still so angry. It wasn’t fair to hold a grudge against a person who had spent two years protecting his beloved. But he couldn’t help it. He hated this part of himself.

“We have a long road ahead of us, Vitya. It’s not going to get easier. But you have your Yuuri back.”

“And a son,” he whispered.

Yakov’s eyes widened at the news before a small smile spread across his lips. “And a son. Congratulations, Vitya.”

He smiled.

_I want to make it through._

 

-Two Years Ago, Saint Petersburg-  
  
Everything had never felt so wrong in his life. It had been two weeks since his Yuuri's disappearance and no new information had come forward. Viktor hung up the phone in frustration, throwing it on the couch beside him.  
  
The investigators knew more than they were telling him, but they hadn't disclosed anything to him directly. Of course there had been the usual reassurances: That they were doing everything possible in order to find him. That once they were further along in the investigation, they would let him know more details.  
  
He ran a hand through his hair and let out a heavy sigh. He hadn't been to practice in weeks. The first week was mandatory so their rink could be fitted with new security features. But even after that, he hadn't gone back. Every reporter wanted to speak with him and waited outside for his return.  
  
But he knew Yakov's grace for missing practice was about to run out. They had a reputation to uphold, circumstances be damned. No matter what, the country still expected a gold medal season from a household name. If they weren't going to get it from Yuri Plisetsky, someone else was going to have to step in.  
  
Viktor didn't want to compete. Not without his Yuuri by his side. His inspiration was gone. His routines were already choreographed for upcoming season, but he hadn't spent much time practicing them before the life-shattering moment.  
  
A knock at his door interrupted his thoughts. Slowly, Viktor got up from the couch. He treaded cautiously, not knowing who was visiting him at this hour. Everyone who would normally come over this late was missing. He looked through the peephole and saw the familiar hat of his coach.  
  
Viktor opened the door, Makkachin behind him.  
  
"Yakov," he greeted. The older man met his eyes.  
  
"Vitya," the older man grunted. He stepped aside, letting the other inside. This was new and unexpected. Yakov had never visited his place.  
  
Door shut firmly behind him, it was then that Viktor remembered his manners.  
  
"Would you like anything to drink?" he asked with a smile. His Yuuri was so much better at hospitality than him. Years of helping his family run an onsen, the other had told him.  
  
"No thanks."  
  
The older man looked around his apartment, which Viktor realized was a wreck. He hadn't cleaned properly since his Yuuri had disappeared. His fiancé usually took care of the household chores. Not because he was opposed to doing them, but it helped Yuuri calm his anxiety.

Viktor would help, but largely kept out of the other’s way. Whenever his fiancé’s anxiety got too much though, he would pick up the place. But he hadn’t found his own motivation to care. Without Yuuri, nothing mattered. The feeling was especially prominent right now.  
  
Viktor really missed his fiancé's touch around their shared home.

Even if they had only been sharing it for a short period of time.  
  
"I thought I'd see how you were doing," the older man muttered. His assessment of the apartment done and now his attention was solely focused on Viktor.   
  
"I'm fine," he lied.  
  
Yakov knew he was too. The older man frowned. "Doesn't look like it. When was the last time you had a meal?"  
  
Viktor couldn't remember. He had ordered take out three days ago? And finished the leftovers not too long after.  
  
"Come on, let's go get something to eat."  
  
He was about to protest, but decided against it when he realized how weak he was feeling. Viktor quickly found shoes and a jacket. He grabbed his wallet as the two of them headed out. They ended up in a small diner not too far away from his apartment.  
  
Viktor scanned the menu, trying to decide what to order. Of course, he already knew what he wanted, he just wanted to avoid the inevitable conversation he would be having with Yakov about competitions.  
  
Despite what people may think, Viktor wasn't oblivious when it came to hidden motives. He just preferred to wait before outright rejecting them. This was one of those moments. Yakov needed him to compete. He wasn't going to.  
  
Not without his Yuuri.  
  
"Vitya, are you going to order?"  
  
He blinked and looked up to the expectant waitress. Viktor gave his order and sipped idly on the glass of water provided for him.  
  
"Vitya," Yakov said. He looked at the older man.  
  
"I'm not skating this season. You can't make me.”

Yakov sighed. “I figured you’d say that. I told the Federation the same thing. They’re _insisting_.”

“I know I said I’d return, but I can’t do it.”

“It’s not fair to ask you to skate until your Yuuri is back with you,” Yakov began.

“Glad you can see that.”

“But bureaucracies don’t,” the older male continued. “You’ve announced your return to the media and have already choreographed programs. They expect you to compete.” _They expect you to win_.

“And if I still refuse?”

“You will never skate again, even if your Yuuri returns and you find “inspiration” again. They’ll ask for compensation in other ways too.”

“Can they do that?” 

“Not that I’m aware of, but I’m sure they know all the loopholes. I’m sure there’s some clauses protecting their money.” Silence fell over them. Yakov gave a heavy sigh. “If you don’t compete, you’d disappear. The only reason they were happy to accept you back is because of your previous accomplishments. You can’t rely on that same support if you don’t skate this season.”

_At the very least_.

Yakov let his words hang in the air between them. Viktor stared blankly out the window, processing the potential consequences. Would losing everything be worth it? Absolutely.

It was Viktor’s turn to sigh. “He’s everything to me.” He looked at his coach, taking note of the other’s reaction. At first, Viktor thought Yakov would accept his answer. He wasn’t prepared for what came next.

“What would your Yuuri insist you do once he had told you?” 

They had only discussed his fiancé’s condition once previously. In an argument over being intentionally kept out of the loop on certain key pieces of information of the investigation. They had told Yakov, but not him. Even though it was his pregnant fiancé who was no longer by his side. 

Viktor’s shoulders dropped. He knew it wouldn’t be the same without his Yuuri to support him. But his fiancé would tell him to skate anyway. That still didn’t change the fact that his beloved was missing and might never return.

_I’ll miss everything_.

“You skated without inspiration for years and still won. No one will be able to tell the difference.”

But people would.

 

-Present Day, Hotel-

Viktor looked through several photos on his phone. Memories of a happier time between him and Yuuri. Unexpectedly, his phone began to ring. Christophe’s name popped up along with a picture of his friend. He had briefed the most important people in regards to the situation.

The Katsuki family couldn’t up and leave the family business at this moment. While business had slowed down for the summer lull, it was still a tourist attraction since his Yuuri had won silver. Many fans paid visit to the area. Visitors had swarmed the area after news of his fiancé’s recovery was announced publicly. From what he gathered, it hadn’t died down since.

Phichit and Chris were made aware because of their friendship and support. He had kept any conversations with the first as brief as possible. While he had nothing against the Thai skater, it was too painful to talk to him about a loss they both deeply felt.

Chris was easier to keep in touch with and was part of his support system when the nights had gotten especially rough. Most of their calls featured extended periods of silence.

Viktor accepted the call, bringing the phone to his ear.

“About time you answered. I thought you were going to ignore me again.”

“As if I could really ignore you, Chris.”

“Of course not. I would’ve kept calling you until you answered.”

He laid back on the bed, closing his eyes briefly. “Why did you call, Chris?”

“I wanted to check on you. Have you talked to your Yuuri yet?”

Viktor swallowed. Memories of the hospital visit flashed in his mind. “Yes.”

“That’s wonderful!” He didn’t say anything in response, letting the silence hang between them. “Viktor?”

“I’m still here,” he answered.

“How did the meeting go?”

He couldn’t hide anything from his best friend. “Everything was finally falling into place. He’s still weak, but he’s so strong and just as beautiful as I remember him. I…have a son.” 

“Congratulations! I can’t wait to meet him.” The silence returned. He wanted to leave the conversation there. But Chris caught everything. “What did you mean “was falling into place,” Viktor? What else happened?”

“I ruined everything.”

“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. What happened?”

Viktor sighed. “I got really angry. I didn’t even mean to. I thought that I could control myself. I wanted everything to be perfect and everything was.”

“Until?” 

He hesitated. Tears forming in his eyes as he relieved the last part of their meeting once again in his mind. “Chris,” his voice broke. “He’s bonded to another Alpha.”

He heard the other’s breath hitch. “It’s not completely unexpected. We talked about the possibility…”

“He’s bonded to Yurio.”

It took a while for the weight of his words to fully sink in.

“Oh,” a pause. “Shit.”

 

-One Year Ago, Marseille-

Viktor had plastered on a fake smile during the Grand Prix Final banquet. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t done before, but hated the feeling now more than ever. He hated pretending now that he knew what living felt like. If he told the truth though, no one would offer him sponsorships.

Representatives from the Russia Skater’s Federation were there to congratulate him on his victory. He had to spend at least thirty minutes with them given that they came from his home country and made sure that he stayed relevant to the entire world.

“You did well, Mister Nikiforov,” one of them praised. “Truly a masterful and emotional performance.”

“Thank you,” he said tightly. While his job was pretending to be enjoying all the attention bestowed upon him, he knew their job was to suck up to their top skaters.

Of course, Viktor was only the top male Russian skater because his biggest competition had gone missing.

“We have to admit, we were worried when you decided to start competing again. But it looks like we had nothing to worry about after all.”

“I made sure to take care of myself during my time away. I appreciate your support when I announced my return to competition.”

The figureheads nodded. “Shame about what happened to Yuri Plisetsky. It would have been wonderful to see both of you skate together.”

Of course it would have. Viktor had seen the intense programs the younger skater had been putting together for the season. There was no doubt in his mind that he would be sharing a podium with the ever-evolving monster that could easily dethrone him.

He would never admit that out loud. While he knew Yuri Plisetsky was better than him in many aspects, a part of him still had to believe that he would come out on top despite the level of competitiveness from the young teen.

“It’s a shame indeed,” he intoned casually. Viktor hoped that his true feelings didn’t come through his words. “He would have earned Russia another medal for certain.” 

“Without a doubt. We hope that he’s recovered soon so we can see you both on the podium together.” 

Viktor nodded, brushing aside their words.

“It’s also a shame your “fiancé” also went missing. But it must’ve been nice to only have to focus on skating.” 

He didn’t miss the dismissive way they referred to his beloved. “I wish neither of them were missing,” he answered evenly. “My _fiancé_ is my inspiration, my love, my reason to live. The only reason I decided to compete was because I know he would have wanted me to continue even if he couldn’t himself. He’s that selfless and wonderful to me.” 

The final words came out a bit harsher than he had meant to, but knew they would forgive his rudeness, He had just earned Russia another gold medal after all. They could ask him for just about anything, but he couldn’t let go of the fact that they dismissed the disappearance of the only person he truly cared about.

Yakov had made his way over to them and placed a hand on his shoulder. Viktor didn’t miss the way his fingers had dug into his flesh. 

“My apologies,” he grumbled. “Viktor has had a stressful year. We knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I know he appreciates the support he’s gotten from the Federation and his sponsors. To know that they’re thinking about his well-being is truly an honor.” 

The older male shot a glance at him. He flashed a smile to the group. “I apologize if I seemed ungrateful earlier. I do appreciate the support. Like he said, it’s been a tiring year.”

“We understand. You also have a lot to think about in terms of programs for the next year.”

_The next year_.

He hadn’t even thought about skating competitively for the next year yet, but the meanings behind their words were clear.

_“You will skate. You will win._ ”

Yakov squeezed his shoulder tightly. He smiled. “Of course. I look forward to representing Russia next year and at the Olympics as well.”

They congratulated him one more time as he kept a smile plastered on his face until they were gone. Only then did Yakov’s arm disappear from his shoulder.

“My apologies,” he whispered, dropping the smile from his face too. “I probably made things difficult.”

“They’ll forgive you.”

“They treated their disappearance like it was nothing but a blessing to me.”

Yakov didn’t say anything. He was handed a shot of clear liquor. Viktor knocked it back without hesitation. Three shots later, he continued his train of thought. 

“I committed to another year of skating.” 

“You did.”

“I can’t do it,” he mumbled.

“Let’s get you out of here.”

Yakov started guiding him out of the banquet room. They only paused to accept congratulations on his accomplishments. Yakov stated they had an early flight and needed to get some rest before heading out the next morning.

It was a lie. But Viktor was grateful to be removed from the situation. They were in the elevator when he spoke again.

“Yuuri was my inspiration.”

The older male sighed. “I know. We’ve had this conversation several times before.”

“I could do anything with him. But now…”

“I forgot you’re talkative when you’re tipsy.”

Viktor smiled at the older male. “At least I’m not drunk.” 

Yakov grunted in agreement. Talkative and prone to strip. It was the last thing they needed in this situation. 

“No one would want to see that anyway,” Yakov said. “No one here at any rate.”

The conversation hung between them. Neither had talked much about the disappearances of the two skaters since it happened. It had been easy for the two of them to bury their thoughts and feelings in practice.

Viktor had trained with all the furor of 16-year-old Yuri Plisetsky and Yakov pushed him harder than before his break. The intensity of their training left little time for idle chatter between them. He was too exhausted after each workout to do anything other than take care of Makkachin.

The only time they spoke outside of training was when Yakov knew Viktor was sleeping too little and neglecting his health. But even those lectures came under the guise of concern over his ability to compete and never in reference to the fact that Viktor was missing his Yuuri.

With a small break before the Olympics, they had the time to talk about it. Viktor was willing, but Yakov didn’t seem to care. So, like everything else, he buried the feelings deep down and prayed no one would bring them up again.

But the questions would never go away.

 

-Present Day, Therapy-

Viktor didn’t want to go through another therapy session without his fiancé present, but there was no choice in the matter this time around. He had been banned from seeing his Yuuri until a later date. It was undetermined at the time.

A word he had grown to hate in the timeframe his beloved was separated from him. Despite knowing the rational reasoning for the meeting being delayed, Viktor couldn’t help but mourn the fact that they were still not truly together.

Even though his Yuuri was safe now, they had obstacles to face. Barriers that might forever be placed between them. Their once shared intimacy completely destroyed by the nightmare that continued to haunt their lives. There wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it either. Viktor had to let it go.

_It’s unfair_.

After finally finding what they had both been longing for in life, circumstances ripped it cruelly away. Didn’t bat an eye. Just took. And trampled upon every good thing they had managed to build in the short time of their togetherness. 

He hadn’t helped with his actions the day before. The last thing he needed to do was complicate matters. Make things worse. But he had done just that. Ignored every logical voice in his mind and let his secondary gender and irrational feelings take over. 

Viktor couldn’t blame Yuuri for asking him to leave after that ugly display. Now, he could even understand why his fiancé had chosen Yurio over him. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. The night had been spent reliving his actions. All his mind focused on was the shocked look on his beloved’s face after being struck and the terror in Yurio’s eyes.

Looking back at the scenario, it was obvious the younger Alpha had been terrified. And he had caused that reaction. Viktor didn’t just have to make amends with his fiancé. No. He would have to eventually restore the relationship he once held with the teen as well.

At least listen to more of the story.

Doctor Luski called his name. Eight on the dot. He followed the older male down a hall before being directed into a room. Viktor made himself comfortable on the couch in the room, just as he had done when their individual sessions first started. The doctor closed the door to the office and took a chair across from him. Pen and pad on the older male’s lap.

“How are you feeling today, Viktor?” the doctor started simply enough.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “A lot happened yesterday. 

“Tell me about your favorite parts.”

He thought back to when he first saw his Yuuri in the room. Being able to touch his beloved. To tell the other just how much he loved him. Meeting his son for the very first time. A child he didn’t even know really existed until that day.

“I knew Yuuri was pregnant when he disappeared,” Viktor confessed.

“How did you find out?”

“I went to the clinic where he had an appointment at the day he disappeared. The investigators working the case had also gone there but refused to share what they found out with me. I went there on my own to get some sort of answer.” 

“And they told you?”

“Yes. I was listed as someone they could discuss his health with. Since he was a competitive skater at that time and I was his coach and fiancé, it made the most sense to put me down.” 

“How did you react when you found out?”

He winced. “Not well. Not well at all.”

 

-*Present Day, Hospital*-

Yuri had barely left Katsuki’s side since yesterday, snapping at anyone who came too close to them. The doctors had been unable to approach them. Miss Vanzin was the exception and she worked around him quickly. She constantly asked if she could touch and take care of Katsuki and Nika. Though he knew the Omega could make his own decisions regarding his health, Yuri felt the need to take care of the other two.

He couldn’t bring himself to be away from a source of comfort and strength. Yuri never realized how strong Katsuki was before this.

_When did I become so weak?_

If anyone had anything to say about his clinginess, they kept it to themselves. Not that he gave a damn what they thought anyway. So when Doctor Luski wanted to do an individual therapy session with him, he outright refused. It was selfish. Unfair. But he couldn’t bring himself to care right now.

Not that Katsuki seemed to mind being invited into his therapy session. He clung tightly to the older male’s hospital clothes. It was irrational, but his protective instincts were still blaring after yesterday’s event. Yuri made sure Nika was also in his sights all this time. It was pathetic. Stupid. He knew Viktor wasn’t there.

But everyone was a threat to them.

Could hurt them.

Again.

The bruise on Katsuki’s cheek was proof of what others were capable of if he couldn’t protect them. They only had each other. That’s what yesterday had proven to him.

They were alone in this fight. 

Maybe forever.

Doctor Luski agreed to have the session in front of Katsuki with reversed conditions as their prior meeting. The Omega would only participate when invited and they would stop if either of them showed significant reactions. Of course, the older male agreed to be there without hesitation.

“Let me know if you’re uncomfortable.”

It was a repeat of just a few days ago. When things were better. But now everything had blown up in their faces.

Yuri nodded.

When the doctor arrived, he clung tighter to the Omega. A low growl escaped his throat as Doctor Luski tried to reach the chair next to the bed.

“Mister Plisetkey, I don’t mean you or them any harm. How about I move the chair further away? Would that be okay?” He contemplated the doctor’s words and nodded. “Okay, I’m going to have to come close enough to move the chair. Is that all right with you?

It wasn’t. But he agreed anyway. The low growl present the entire time the doctor walked closer to them. True to his word, Doctor Luski only approached enough to reach the chair and pull it away. The more distance between them, the better Yuri felt.

“You can stop there,” he muttered.

The doctor froze and sat himself in the chair.

“Are you sure you’re comfortable with this distance?” the doctor asked again.

Yuri didn’t want anyone to be in the room with them, but he knew his behavior wasn’t healthy. He was having a severe reaction to what had happened. The wounds were still fresh. He was broken and didn’t want anyone to see him like this. 

But he couldn’t stay in that state. It wasn’t fair to Katsuki.

“Fine,” he bit out. 

The doctor had his pad and pen on the lap. “I want to remind you that you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. If I believe either of you are having negative reactions, we will divert the subject and move to end the session.” 

Yuri nodded. 

“How are you feeling today?”

It was a simple question.

One that shouldn’t have put him on the edge but did anyway. He couldn’t be vulnerable in front of this man though. The last time he put himself on the line, Katsuki got hurt. He couldn’t risk that again.

“Fine,” he answered. It was a lie. They all knew it. Yet, the doctor merely nodded at his response.

“Would you like to talk about why you came in the room yesterday?”

He really didn’t. “Katsuki was distressed. I didn’t want him to have to suffer through his nightmare alone. Everyone was focused on us being bonded and was ignoring what he needed. But I made everything worse.” 

“Why do you believe that?”

“You saw how Viktor reacted.” 

“Did that create or reaffirm your fears regarding Mister Nikiforov?”

Yuri shifted uncomfortably. “I...always hoped that he wouldn’t hate me for what I did back then. It’s stupid. I just wanted him to understand that we did what was best for us at that time. We knew things were going to get worse. Just didn’t know how bad until after we got there, I guess. I thought that Viktor would be able to see that. I was wrong.” He fought back tears.

Katsuki started running a hand through his hair, but didn’t say anything. Silent support. Just when he needed it the most. Yuri took in a deep breath.

“Knowing that he thought first with his instincts scares me,” he whispered.

“Why?”

“Because I’m afraid he’ll kill me and hurt Katsuki even more.”

-*Yuuri, later*-

Yura hadn’t wanted to talk much more about yesterday. The session had wrapped early and the young Alpha fell asleep against him. His hospital gown still damp from where the teen had buried his face in them and cried.

His hand still went through the teen’s hair, continuing the repetitive motion as he thought back on what had happened.

Yuuri knew that Yura hated showing sign of weakness and probably saw everything from the interaction as vulnerability to later be used against him. It had happened before. Which is why the young Alpha was troubled in the first place. During their time in the compound, little was done to Yura physically.

But the same couldn’t be said for the teen’s mental and emotional state. Yuuri played a large factor in that as well.

Something he would always feel guilty for and couldn’t understand why the teen could easily overlook. Yuuri was part of Yura’s pain.

It would be better if he disappeared.

Going away would solve both Viktor’s and Yura’s problems.

“Want to tell me what you’re thinking?” Doctor Luski asked. He had forgotten the doctor was still there. “It’s clear you’re worried about him.”

“It’s hard not to be,” he answered. “I’m part of his problem.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“Like I have no right to ask him to be by his side through all of this. I’m afraid he’ll never be able to get better if I’m still trying to hold on to him.” 

“Has he told you that you’re holding him back?”

He shook his head. “I just know that he’s suffered a lot because of me. Now that we’re not in the compound, his life doesn’t have to be tied to mine. It might be better if it’s not.”

“From what I’ve observed of your relationship with Mister Plisetsky, I don’t agree with that assessment at all.”

“Why not?” he asked. 

“I don’t think he’s holding on to you because needs to like he did in the compound. I think he’s staying close because wants to because you’re helping him recover.”

Yuuri looked down at the teen who was still asleep. “How can I even begin to help him when I’m tied to so much of his pain?”

“I can’t explain that. But I will say that if you were to disappear, especially now, it would be harder for him to move forward. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set boundaries with him. Your life is changing. You have a fiancé and child to also consider now.”

Yuuri directed his attention to the doctor. “When can I see Viktor again?”

“Not for at least a week.” He deflated at Doctor Luski’s words. “You both need more time to process what happened.” 

“I just got him back,” he said quietly.

“I know. He feels the same way. This wasn’t an easy decision, but there’s a lot we need to cover before we reintroduce you two again. For instance, how he hit you.”

He flinched. “It’s fine."

“No, it’s not. Would you like to talk about it?” 

He shook his head and dropped his gaze. Doctor Luski didn’t press. Just waited. “He didn’t mean it. I know he would never hurt me intentionally.”

“I’m worried about the unintentional too. Every word and action has consequences. I don’t want him to accidentally make things worse for your recovery. Similarly, I don’t want you to have a negative effect on him either. I want to help you two be able to function together similarly to before this incident.”

Yuuri thought about the doctor’s words. He wanted that too. Being able to communicate openly and honestly with Viktor had done wonders for his depression and anxiety.

_But you weren’t as broken then as you are now._

Silence fell between them. Being separated from Viktor for even more time was still hard to handle. Part of what had helped back then was almost constantly being in Viktor’s presence. Now, he couldn’t even manage that. Their relationship was fractured too. All because of the choices he had made. He had destroyed their chances of having their relationship go back to the way it was.

Why did he have to be so selfish?

Why did he make such a rash decision? 

_You always have to ruin everything, don’t you?_

He swallowed, tried to keep his anxiety at bay. A battle he would eventually lose. But he had to try. 

“If I can’t see him, can you arrange for him to spend time alone with Nika?” he asked quietly. Yuuri looked Doctor Luski, hopeful. “Part of the reason he was so angry is because he’s missed out on so much. Nika and Viktor deserve a chance to get to know each other.” 

The doctor paused for a few moments, taking the request into consideration. “Are you comfortable with having your son away from you? He hasn’t spent much time separated from you since you were recovered.”

“It’ll be fine if he’s with Viktor,” he answered. Truth was, he wasn’t sure about being separated from Nika. But he had to do something to keep his family from completely falling apart.

“It will be supervised. I don’t want him to lose control.”

“Viktor won’t. You know that,” he bit out harshly. “You know what happened was an accident. He would never hurt me or Nika. I know you have to take precautions with me, but don’t punish my son even more. He needs to know his father.” 

The silence was heavy between them, but his resolve never wavered. This was for Nika.

“I’ll see what I can arrange.”

 

-Present Day, Hotel-

Viktor spent most of his time in the hotel room, letting Yakov bring food to him. It was easier for the older male to get around the city undetected. Though part of him didn’t see the point. Two days had come and passed without any new invitation to see his fiancé in the hospital. His irritation was slowly becoming a permanent fixture in the room.

The only time he had left was to go to therapy. His isolation was something his new therapist was quick to point out as an unhealthy behavior. Not that it had stopped him. He was there for his Yuuri after all. Though Yakov tried to get him back on the ice, it was the last thing he wanted to do. 

He didn’t want to lose sight on what was most important to him. 

Not again.

On the third day, he decided moping around the hotel wasn’t doing him any good. Doctor Luski had recommended he do other activities to keep his mind off what was happening. But it always felt like a betrayal to his Yuuri. Wasn’t he being a bad fiancé by not dedicating _more_ time to thinking about his beloved?

_If only I could have protected him two years ago._

The vicious cycle was beginning again.

If he didn’t do something now, he would undo what little progress he made. So he decided to go for a walk. Viktor grabbed a hat to cover his distinguishable hair color after putting on his long coat and green scarf.

Quietly, he slipped out of the hotel room.

With no direction in mind, it was easy for him to get lost in the city. Viktor found a nearby park and walked around the area a few times before stopping at a bench and sitting down.

The walk had helped distract him from some of the thoughts on his mind, but not all. He took in a deep breath and reflected on the past few days. Being separated from his Yuuri two years ago had hurt. But Viktor would now argue that being apart from the one you loved and knowing it was intentional hurt worse. 

He knew the reasons. They were his fault. But it didn’t do much to ease the restlessness in his heart. The only thing that made today better than two years ago was knowing that his Yuuri was alive.

His cell rang. Quickly, Viktor fished it out of his pocket. Doctor Luski’s name flashed. He frowned and answered the phone anyway. 

“Hello?”

“ _Mister Nikiforov, sorry to bother you outside our normal meeting time. We both agreed that until I deemed him fit to see you again that you should spend some time with your son individually. He says you’ve missed out on a lot of time with him. We’ve arranged it with the hospital to have someone watch you interact while I conduct another session with Mister Katsuki. Would you have time this afternoon?_ ”

“Yes,” he said. He didn’t even hesitate. Spending time with his son was better than not getting to see either of them.

“ _Excellent. Does three work?_ ”

“I’ll be there.”

“ _You’ll meet at the same conference room._ ”’

“Sounds great.”

The conversation ended. Viktor felt lighter than he had in days. He was going to spend some time alone with his son. 

_I can’t wait to get to know you, Nika._

 

-Hospital-

Viktor arrived at the hospital exactly at three. He had wanted to arrive earlier, but Yakov had intentionally kept him busy until then. They were working on an official statement to the press regarding the upcoming season.

He wanted to retire. Yakov wanted him to consider skating at least one more season. Viktor knew why his coach was insisting he think about going for one more year. They didn’t talk about it. Hadn’t talked about it for several months.

The Federation was pushing for him to continue. Yakov probably wanted him to as well. At least until they figured out what Yurio wanted to do with is future.

No one cared what he truly wanted though.

Of course he could pull off another season if he wanted to. But Viktor didn’t want to. He had just been reunited with his fiancé and had a child who he needed to spend time with. Not to mention, his Yuuri would likely need more care and support after they got out of the hospital.

Their future was up in the air. What if his fiancé didn’t want to live with him anymore? What if they couldn’t? 

There was the issue of his beloved being bonded to Yurio as well.

No one, he felt, had the right to ask for him to perform for another season. There were plenty of other skaters who were dying to have their chance to shine. They wouldn’t unless he stepped aside.

But it was always easier to bet on someone who could pull through.

Regardless, he wasn’t going to commit either way until he knew more about what his future with Yuuri looked like. Viktor wouldn’t consider it if his fiancé wasn’t on board. 

That discussion was still a long way off in their future. 

The Federation and Yakov needed an answer now. This was the time he needed to be dedicating time fully to training. Viktor was hoping to delay the conversation for as long as possible.

The clock wouldn’t stop ticking.

Viktor was escorted to the conference room. Every part of him was on edge over this meeting. Doctor Luski was the first person he saw along with Miss Vanzin and his son. She smiled warmly at him. He nodded in her direction. Nika squirmed in her arms.

“I figured you would be comfortable with someone you knew supervising this visit,” the doctor explained. “If she feels you are a threat to Nika’s safety, she will end the visit and come get me. I will be with your fiancé conducting a therapy session.” 

The room had been transformed. The long table had been taken out, replaced by a round one with small chairs in them. Several books were laid out on the table. Toys were stacked neatly in some corners. Outlets were covered.

“When will I get to see my Yuuri again?” he asked.

“Hopefully sometime next week.” Though the “it depends on how this goes” went unspoken, the weight of this meeting was still present. Viktor nodded in understanding. He knew he had messed up. He needed to be more in control.

They had worked on some of this during their sessions, but the truth was that it would all depend on the interactions in the future. This was a trial run in a sense. To see if he showed any more violent tendencies to those he cared most about.

“Tell him I love and miss him. And that I’m sorry.”

Doctor Luski nodded and left the room.

The toddler reached toward him, getting frustrated at being kept away from Viktor. Miss Vanzin handed the child off to him. Nika nuzzled his neck, taking in his scent. He smiled and scented his son in return.

Nika didn’t want to sit still very long after being scented. It seemed the toddler was in the mood to explore and play. His son squirmed in his arms. He put the child down, letting him wander around the room. 

Viktor kept an eye on the child, watching Nika explore every section before deciding to play with a block set. He sat down near the child, watching and waiting to be invited to play.

Nika didn’t vocalize much, he realized. Something that he thought most children did at this age. Though, Viktor realized he didn’t truly know how old his son actually was.

“Try speaking to him in your normal tone,” Miss Vanzin stated calmly. It was then he noticed how distressed he actually was over the situation. “Ask him what he’s doing and tell him what you’re going to do.”

He sucked in a deep breath. “Hi Nika,” Viktor said. The boy turned his head toward him. Blocks forgotten. “You don’t have to stop playing.”

Viktor picked up one of the blocks and put it in his son’s hand. The toddler’s smaller fingers wrapped around it. 

“Let’s build a house, Nika.” He started by putting two blocks on their sides. His son placed the block he was holding on top of one of the others, causing it to fall.

“Oh no!” he said with a smile. “Looks like we have to start again.”

He repeated the process of setting up the sides. His efforts were rewarded by being knocked down by his son. Viktor laughed.

“Look what you did now! Am I not allowed to make a house with the blocks?” he asked. Nika smiled at him. His heart melted a little. Already, he knew his son would be instantly forgiven for anything. 

Nika picked up one of the blocks he had knocked over and crawled over to Viktor’s lap. He waved the toy around toward Viktor. He took this as a sign that he needed to grab it. So he did. 

The toddler turned himself around so they would face the wreckage of the destroyed home. Nika began to babble. Viktor felt his heart beat faster. His child was vocalizing. His voice soft and melodious.

Nika looked up at him. Viktor smiled. The toddler began to whine, gesturing toward the block in his hand. 

“Let’s start again, shall we?” he asked.

He put the two blocks on their sides once more. This time, Nika did not destroy them. Viktor guided his hand as they put on the roof of their home together.

“There you go, Nika. We built a house together. Doesn’t it look nice?”

All he got in response was babbling. The toddler squirmed off his lap and went off to grab some plastic people. He handed two of them to Viktor, one by one. Nika said something unintelligible at him and pointed toward the house.

“Am I supposed to put them inside?” he asked.

Nika nodded. Viktor put the two figures inside the home. A third and fourth joined the other two. The toddler continued talking as if Viktor understood every word. 

He smiled at his son playing with the figures inside the home.

“Someday Nika, I will take you to the home I have for you in Saint Petersburg. You and Yuuri.”

The toddler stopped playing and looked at him. Smile wide across Nika’s face.

Viktor couldn’t wait until that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was that ending? My heart melted a little.
> 
> ((And yes, I know Nika should theoretically be more talkative and such given his approximate age, but he was raised not to draw attention to himself and Yuuri and Yuri didn't have time to teach him properly. This will be talked about more later.))
> 
> We'll be back to our regularly scheduled angst next chapter.
> 
> As always, you can find updates or talk to me @LadyMWrites


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work week was the week from hell. I crashed harder than I usually do on Friday's and barely got any writing done at all this week. So I apologize for the short chapter, but I just couldn't.
> 
> That being said, the next chapter will be longer. BUT it will be delayed. I'm going to be out of town from the 7th-11th and won't have time to put together a chapter for that week. So there will be no chapter update next weekend. I'm planning on uploading a much longer chapter on the 6th before I leave. Then I'll be back to my normal update schedule.
> 
> Warnings in order of appearance:
> 
> Two star warning: Mentions of the aftermath of rape, anxiety, warped perceptions, mentions of prostitution, and drugging. Nothing too descriptive, but I'm being safe because of the subject matter.
> 
> Another two star warning: This scene deals with Yuuri's first forced prostitution scenarios, anxiety, and depression. Again, nothing too descriptive. Though, just know that this is where Yuuri's depression starts to get worse.
> 
> (I'm going to say this once: If you feel like a section in the story is missing a potential warning label or the current star rating isn't high enough, please let me know. I'm happy to make adjustments.)

-Present Day, Hospital-

Yuuri jolted awake. His breathing heavy. Sweat covered his forehead. His stomach churned, building a wave of nausea. His mind raced. The lingering images of his nightmare still vivid in his mind. They all started the same. Faceless shadows hitting Yura and Nika. Then, they’d transition to something darker and twisted. It varied. But the end result was always the same.

His stomach lurched again. Yuuri was able to hold it back, but heaved. An object was shoved in his hands. Weakly, he gripped it before realizing it was a trash bin he was quickly becoming familiar with. Hands at his back pushed him forward. It was a waiting game now. He gagged and lifted the trash can.

On the surface, it would look like an extension of his nightmare. However, Yuuri knew this went beyond his subconscious. Every heave just another reminder of a reality he would have to answer for. Sooner rather than later too. The physical changes would be easy to hide for a few more weeks. However, his scent was already changing, becoming more permanent. Nausea getting worse with each passing day.

Eventually he would have to tell Viktor what was happening to him,. They would have to come up with a plan together.

_If he still wants you when he finds out._

It was a topic he had yet to fully discuss not even with Yura. They both were aware of the situation, but talking about it made everything real. Not that the ultrasound earlier hadn’t done the same thing.

The doctors confirmed the child was still alive and growing normally. They were pushing him to eat more with each meal. Not just to put on weight, he knew. The transition to solid foods had not gone as smoothly as it had for Yura. Yuuri still had to be hooked up to fluids and nutrients.

Just a continuous reminder of his failures.

_“Have you decided what you are going to do with it yet?” the technician asked._

_He hated that his child was referred to as an “it,” but they couldn’t tell gender at this stage. “No.”_

Truthfully, Yuuri knew what he wanted.

But it wasn’t just his life that would be affected.

 _He won’t want either of you if you tell him_.

The thought stung. His stomach churned forcefully this time. Several minutes later, he stopped trying to rid everything in his guts. A water bottle was pushed in his hands. He took a small drink and swirled it around his mouth before spitting it the trash can with the rest.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

The trash can was removed from his hands. He looked over at the child to his right who was still sound asleep. He let out a heavy sigh before laying back. A familiar weight returned to his left side.

Silence lingered between them.

“When are you going to tell him?” Yura asked quietly.

“Soon,” he answered.

“If you don’t, he’ll be able to figure it out on his own.”

“I know.” It was just over two years ago when he was in last in this situation. The only difference being last time, the new life growing inside of him belonged to Viktor. Tears filled his eyes. “It’s complicated.”

Yura let out a heavy sigh. “Just because it’s complicated, doesn’t mean we get to choose when to tell someone shitty news. Eventually, it’ll come out one way or another. And it’ll hurt less if you get to tell him and not doctors, nurses, or biology.”

Yuuri sighed. “I know. That doesn’t make it easy to tell.”

Yura let out a snort. “No, it doesn’t.”

-**Two Years Ago, Unknown**-

Yuuri woke to someone prodding him awake. His entire body ached unpleasantly. He groaned and was shaken harsher this time. All he wanted to do was continue to rest, but a harsh slap jolted his system. No one at home would ever strike him. Opening his eyes, he noticed an unfamiliar woman looking at him. A blank expression on their face. Tattered sandy brown hair and empty brown eyes stared at him.

“You speak English?” the woman asked. Her sentence heavily accented and broken. Yuuri recognized it as Russian. She spoke with confidence despite it though. He only understood her because of the time spent in Saint Petersburg.

He nodded. “Yes.”

“Good,” she said. “You sleep long time. They not happy.”

Who wasn’t happy?

He was about to ask when the memories came slamming back. Yuuri could feel the remnants of what had happen still inside. Every moment replayed in his mind. He was dirty. Tainted. Every small movement made him painfully aware of just how broken he really was.

Tears clouded his vision.

“No cry here. I take you to room. Get up.”

He didn’t think that was possible at the moment. Yuuri tried, but wasn’t able to move as normal. A scream tore from his throat. The woman studied him for a brief moment. He tried to get up again, but his body wouldn’t cooperate. She exited the room without saying another word. He let himself lay back down.

A hand traced over his stomach.

_I’m sorry. I hope you’re still there._

The woman returned to the room and offered him a tablet.

“What is it?” he asked, not wanting to potentially harm his unborn child even more.

“Medicine.”

“I don’t want it.”

She left the room again. This time she returned with a glass of water. He accepted it. The woman just watched after he was finished. About ten minutes later, he felt the pain in his body slowly numbing.

“What did you give me?” he asked.

She yanked him up from off the floor and started dragging him out of the room.

“Medicine. Make you better.”

Somehow, he doubted that.

 _I’m sorry, baby_.

Yuuri was led up a flight of stairs. His body felt pleasant compared to earlier. Pain nearly gone, but still present if he wasn’t careful. The woman opened one of many doors down the hallway to reveal a room. It was already furnished. A queen-sized bed. Windows covered with drapes. A small dresser opposite of the bed. The room connected to a small bathroom that contained a toilet, sink, and shower.

Everything was draped in white or grey. The room plain. From within the confinements of the room, he could hear the grunts and screams of two different people.

“You stay here. Meals brought to you.”

“What’s going to happen to me?” he asked.

“Whatever they want. They pay, you pleasure. Client come all hours. You pleasure in every way. No resistance or you get punished. Bathe. Duties start soon.”

She closed the door behind her. Yuuri heard it lock, but that didn’t stop him from trying to open it anyway. He could feel anxiety clawing at him. The effects of what she had given him muddled his thoughts further. His thoughts turned to Yuri. What had they done with the teen?

He took in several deep breaths. A hand found its way to his belly where he stroked absentmindedly. The memories from earlier threatening to bubble over, take control. Yuuri made his way to the bathroom. He noted there was no door to it. No shower curtain either.

Soap, shampoo, towels, and rags were provided. He looked in the dresser for a change of clothes. Inside each drawer were clean sheets. Yuuri took off the tattered remains of his clothing and stepped under the shower. He did his best to clean himself, to try and make the reminders of what had happened disappear completely.

He refused to look down. To look at the mess that tainted him. The feeling was still there. Yuuri had let others touch him. Someone other than Viktor. He fought back tears.

Viktor.

All of the images he had built up in his mind of their future together would forever be corrupted.

Ruined.

His darker thoughts came to the surface again, gleefully pointing out everything that would never be the same again. A wave of nausea hit him, he curled underneath the shower’s stream and emptied his guts.

_Save me, Viktor._

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Yuri shook his leg anxiously. He was tingling in anticipation about the meeting that would take place next. There were many thoughts running through his mind. Would Yakov be disappointed in him? Would he even want anything to do with Yuri if it turned out he couldn’t skate?

The possibilities ran continuously through his mind. Each outcome worse than the last. The door creaked open, revealing his coach. Yuri sucked in a breath. It was the first time he had seen the older male in two years. They had never been open with affection for one another--preferring to let hard work speak for itself. Now that he had nothing to show his coach, he felt inadequate.

Yakov had taken him in when his family situation deteriorated. He was the closest thing Yuri had to a father-figure in his life. But his life was determined by the results he achieved on the ice. He had been gone for two years now.

Worthless.

That’s what he was to Yakov. Yuri averted his gaze once his coach turned to look at him. He could hear the critical thoughts.

Too skinny.

Not enough muscle.

Grew several inches.

Lost flexibility.

Useless.

“Yuri, look at me.”

He snapped up his head to meet Yakov’s stern gaze. His heart pounded in anticipation of what would come next. He swallowed hard. The negative thoughts grew louder as every second slipped between them.

“I’m glad you’re here,” the older male grumbled out. Yuri exhaled heavily. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” he whispered. He wasn’t, but was treading carefully. Without Yakov’s generosity, he had no place to go.

“I’ve spoken to Lilia.” Yuri flinched at what she would say about him as well. “She says you’re welcome to stay with her for as long as possible. She’s kept your room the same.”

He smiled at the thought of returning to a familiar place. Would she see him as worthless too? Yuri could hear her harsh words in his ears. If she thought he was a disappointment two years ago, then he knew she would have worse things to say now.

Yuri took in a deep breath. “I wanted you to be here so you could hear all of what happened to me,” he explained.

 _So you can determine whether I’m worth it anymore_.

“Okay,” Yakov said. “If that’s what you want.”

A doctor joined them shortly with his file.

“You must be Mister Feltsman,” the doctor greeted. Yakov nodded. “Mister Plisetsky specifically requested I share any information about his overall health with you. From what I gather, you’re his former coach.”

Another nod.

“As with standard policy in these types of cases, we do a full examination of the patient to assess their condition and collect potential evidence for local authorities.” The doctor put several scans of his skeletal structure in front of a light. “The good news for Mister Plisetsky is that he didn’t sustain any major damage to his bone structure. We couldn’t find any traces of healed fractures. The biggest challenge Mister Plisetsky has to overcome is putting on weight again.”

Yakov looked pleased. But Yuri couldn’t bring himself to feel happy that skating might be possible again.

Because he knew who paid the price in his place.

 

-**Two Years Ago, Unknown**-

He was isolated. The door locked from the outside with Yuuri trapped on the inside. The only times the door opened was to let in a new “client” or meals. “Clients” came in at any time of day. They could do whatever they wanted.

He had tried to resist the first time, but the unknown drug in his system at that time had made him sluggish. Just a few minutes after finishing his shower, the first person arrived. No words were exchanged. Yuuri had just been thrown on the bed, a weak “no” escaped his lips. It didn’t take long for the unwanted contact began. He tried to squirm away, protect himself as tears rolled down his face.

His mind constantly on the person he would never treat him in such a way.

 _Viktor_.

His resistance angered the person above him. Several slaps later, he stopped resisting. Couldn’t anyway—his body too tired to fight back.

The following days had not gotten easier. A constant state of exhaustion prevented him from putting up more of a physical struggle. Whenever Yuuri attempted to sleep, morning sickness would strike. He hadn’t seen Yuri since that truly awful day.

He was afraid. Alone. Not just in this room, but with his thoughts which were growing darker and darker with each passing moment. The door clicked, revealing a person sliding a meal toward him. Meals came just once a day. Nowhere near enough to provide nourishment for himself—let alone for his pregnancy.

A hand stroked his stomach gently.

 _I’ll do everything I can to protect you, baby. Please keep fighting. I love you. Viktor will love you too_.

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Viktor had been allowed to visit with Nika several times since that first day. Every moment together with his son made his heart ache for this to be their new normal in their home in Saint Petersburg. They timed the visits to align with his Yuuri’s individual sessions for the most part. A couple of them had been delayed until later in the day. But any time with his son was precious.

Their second meeting was spent passing a ball back and forth between them, Nika chatting animatedly and occasionally squealing in delight whenever Viktor would roll the ball back toward his son. Not that Viktor would ever stop playing with his son given the choice.

The third time they spent time together was largely spent chasing each other around the room and playing with stuffed animals in the room. Nika had cried when he couldn’t take any of the stuffed toys back with him.

So the next time he saw his son, Viktor had gifted him with a stuffed poodle. Yakov had helped him pick out the normal sized toy. He had originally bought one that barely fit into the backseat of the cab.

The older man had made him return it and buy one that Nika could actually play with. Viktor had scented it before giving it to his son to bring both him and his Yuuri comfort in during his absence. He would scent it once more before leaving.

Currently, his toddler was curled up in his lap, babbling as he pointed to pictures in the book they were pretending to read. Stuffed poodle in the other hand. One of the nurses commented Nika had barely let it go since being given the toy.

“Mm-hmm,” he vocalized once his child stopped talking. This encouraged Nika to start again. There wasn’t any clear distinction in the vocalization, but Viktor didn’t care. He could listen to his son talk for hours.

Viktor was aware that their time together was winding down.

Nika stopped talking, looking up at him seriously. He smiled. His son turned around in lap and went to nuzzle his neck. Viktor put down the book in favor of wrapping both arms around his child. He closed his eyes, reveling in the feeling of his son being in his arms.

A child he never thought he’d get to meet.

Holding Nika was a dream come true. His family was almost complete. “We just have to get Yuuri better,” he whispered. “Then we can all go home.”

The door to their room opened. Viktor opened his eyes and turned his gaze to the person who had just interrupted them.

Doctor Luski walked in the room, staying by the door for several minutes. Viktor returned his attention to Nika, who had noticed his distraction and let out a small whimper. So quiet that if he hadn’t felt the vibration from his son, it would’ve been hard to pick up. Nika reverted to his quiet self when others were present.

“Sorry to interrupt,” the doctor said quietly.

Viktor felt his chest tighten. Time had slipped by too quickly for his taste. Always did.

_Soon you’ll get to have as much time with him as you want. There won’t be visits. You’ll get to see him any time of day. Just a little bit longer_

He took a deep breath and released his scent to keep Nika calm and happy. “It’s all right.” The child relaxed in his arms, eyes drooping.

“He’s grown very attached to you.”

A smile tugged at his lips. “Just like I’ve grown attached to him.”

 “Your fiancé is very happy. The nurses haven’t been able to keep quiet about how adorable you look with him.”

 Viktor felt his heart flutter at the mention of his Yuuri. “How is he?” he asked, avoiding the real question he wanted to ask.

“He’s doing well. He asked for you two to meet again,” Doctor Luski answered casually. Viktor tried not to get his hopes up. “I don’t see a reason to keep you two apart at this moment.”

He eyed the doctor. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“When can we meet?”

“Tomorrow if you can arrange it with your schedule.”

“I’m free all day.”

“Then I suggest we do it in the same hour you would normally meet with your son. Does that work?”

“Perfect.”

_Things will be better this time, Yuuri. I promise._

 

-The Next Day, Hospital-

Yuuri’s stomach was in knots over what would be the second meeting between him and Viktor. Nika was in his arms, playing with a stuffed dog that was given to him by Viktor. His fiancé’s scent still strongly present on the toy.

“What do you think, Nika?” he asked quietly. The boy looked at him in curiosity. “Did you like getting to spend time with your papa?”

The boy scrambled to cuddle against his neck. He supported the child with ease. Doctor Luski entered the room.

“How are you feeling, Yuuri?”

“Anxious,” he answered honestly. “But I want to see Viktor. We have a lot to talk about.”

“Do you need to talk about anything before he comes?”

A shake to indicate no. Of course he had a lot to discuss. Just couldn’t right now. Nika offered him the stuffed dog, distracting him from his thoughts. Yuuri gave a small smile and ran his fingers through the child’s hair.

“I’m okay, Nika.”

The familiar scent of his fiancé filled the room, more potent than the one on the toy. Yuuri looked up, meeting the gaze of Viktor. He inhaled sharply. It was still difficult to believe they were no longer separated. After so many empty nights, his dreams were a reality. He did not miss the tired look on his fiancé’s face. Sleep had obviously not come easily for either of them. Today would not be about telling new stories, but focusing on how their lives would start to take shape now.

“Yuuri,” his fiancé breathed.

“Viktor,” he greeted. “You look tired.”

“So do you.” Viktor made his way toward them. Yuuri could feel his heart beat faster, hoping that there wouldn’t be a repeat of their last session. Nika shifted in his arms, drawing his attention from his thoughts. The child reaching out toward Viktor.

He smiled when the Alpha didn’t hesitate to scoop the child into his arms. His family was complete.

“I’m sorry for what happened last time.”

Yuuri gently brushed his cheek. Evidence of the last encounter had long since disappeared, but the internal damage would never fade. “I’m sorry too. I wanted to tell you, but I felt it was more important you know how much you meant to me. I love you and don’t want to ever lose you.”

Viktor looked at him intensely, he couldn’t tell what the other was thinking. Unease settled within.

“How are you feeling?” his fiancé asked.

“Better,” he answered. “Especially now that you’re here.”

They shared a brief smile.

Both of them were dancing around the subject at hand. He didn’t want to cause more distress to his fiancé, but it would have to be addressed eventually. “Can I hold your hand again?” he asked quietly.

Viktor gave a small smile. “Of course.” The Alpha shifted Nika to one side and offered his hand toward him.

A sigh escaped his lips as he relished the simple contact. “Thank you.” They stayed silent for a few minutes. He watched in content as Nika scented Viktor. The Alpha happy to let the other do so.

“Can I ask some questions?” Viktor asked, breaking the silence between them.

Dread joined his earlier uneasiness. “Yes,” he answered. Yuuri wasn’t going to hide the truth. But didn’t know if Viktor could handle it right now.

“Do you hate me?”

Yuuri’s heart dropped. “What?” How could Viktor possibly think that? He was the one who had messed everything up.

“For not bonding you sooner. You...had to make a decision that you shouldn’t have had to make. Do you hate me for not bonding you?”

“Oh Viktor,” he whispered. Tears filled his vision, but he blinked them back. “I could never hate you for that. It’s what we both wanted back then. We couldn’t have known what would happen. I believed we had plenty of time to do things the way we wanted.”

“But if I had back then, you wouldn’t be bonded to another Alpha,” Viktor countered. “If we had bonded during your heat, I could’ve found you earlier and saved you from so much pain.”

It was true, but they hadn’t been ready. They had barely gotten settled in Saint Petersburg when his heat had come. He took in a deep breath. “We weren’t ready though. We would’ve regretted making such an important decision even if it would have happened eventually.”

“You would’ve been protected though.”

“I was protected.”

“But not by me!” Viktor was crying now. Crying because of his selfish decision. Yuuri’s heart sank. He was the source of his fiancé’s pain. The reason their relationship wouldn’t work out. He had let down his reason for living. For fighting through everything.

There was nothing he could do to keep his heart from breaking at each tear his fiancé shed because of him.

Viktor deserved better.

He gently squeezed his fiancé’s hand. “It’s true, it wasn’t you. Every day, I wish it had been you,” he admitted. Yuuri tried to figure out how best to explain what he had thought two years ago, waiting to see where they would end up. Knowing that he was in danger. But needing to do everything he could for him and Viktor. For their future. “I wanted to give us the best chance to have a permanent bond in the future.”

Viktor looked at him intensely. “You did?” The disbelief in his fiancé’s tone hurt the most. Yura didn’t deserve those feelings directed toward him. This was all Yuuri’s fault.

He dropped his gaze and fidgeted. “Can I hold Nika?” he asked.

His fiancé let go of his hand long enough to transfer the child. As soon as their son was comfortable, Viktor’s took his hand again.

Yuuri took in several deep breaths, trying to ignore the oncoming panic attack. Viktor deserved the truth from him. He couldn’t let his fiancé hate Yura for his selfish decision.

“I’m the one who asked Yura to bond me,” he confessed.

 

-Viktor-

Viktor took in a sharp breath at hearing his fiancé’s words. He hadn’t expected them to come. Immediately, he could smell the distress coming from his Yuuri. He gently squeezed the other’s hand, trying to help ground his beloved.

“I’m so sorry,” Yuuri muttered. “I didn’t know what else to do in that situation. But I knew that if he didn’t bond with me, someone else and it might not be temporary. Just the thought of potentially sharing a mating bond with an Alpha other than you made the situation worse.”

Viktor understood. He did. But the confession still hurt. To know that his fiancé had only two choices in such a terrible situation made everything worse. “Yuuri,” he whispered. “You realize how dangerous it was for you to do that? Your body could have rejected the bond. You could have lost...”

“I know,” Yuuri whispered. There was something else inside his fiancé’s eyes at that moment. Something more painful than before. “But it was the only thing I could think of to keep them from taking everything away from me. I needed a future to hope for. So I pushed Yura into forming the bond. He didn’t want to. All he could think about was how you would react. If you would hate him. I assured him that you wouldn’t because this was my selfish decision. Then, you tried to attack him. And I felt like I lied to him.

“I hurt him by promising him he would be okay over something I’m responsible for. He never wanted it. He was sixteen. I thought of my own safety first. I didn’t even consider what it would do to him. So please,” Yuuri begged. “Please don’t hate him. Don’t hurt Yura anymore. From now on, just hate me.”

Viktor felt his heart clench. He wanted nothing more than to be able to fulfill his fiancé’s request. But he couldn’t.

 _I’m sorry_.

“Yuuri,” he said. “I could never hate you.”

His fiancé met his gaze. He couldn’t make sense of the myriad of emotions splayed on his Yuuri’s features. Viktor knew this wasn’t just about the bond. This went deeper. There were more tragic stories to come.

Stories he wasn’t sure he could handle when the time come.

But ones he wanted to hear so he could help his Yuuri.

So they could move on.

Together.

“I’ll understand if you do hate me though,” Yuuri said softly. “I’ve let you down, will probably continue to let you down.”

Viktor knew this was anxiety talking. Anxiety was always looking for a reason to doubt him, to question his motives, to push him away. He had dealt with anxiety before, but didn’t know how to chase away all the feelings now that they had a stronger grip on Yuuri.

He would find a way though--had to, if he ever wanted to meet his fiancé on the same level again.

“Do you want to know why I agreed to marry you?” he asked. Yuuri shook his head. “I admire everything about who you are. You constantly choose to overcome everything you face. You deal with anxiety and depression every day and live with your mind telling you a bunch of lies. But you never give in. You’ve faced doubts about your abilities professionally, both publicly and privately, but you rose above everything. Every time you thought about defeat, you chose to fight instead.

“You’re fighting right now. You’re afraid you’re going to lose me if I know the truth. But I’m not planning on going anywhere. Not now, Yuuri Katsuki, not ever. You inspire me to be better. To continue to fight as well. I want to fight with you; and when you’re too tired, I want to fight for you. For a future together.”

“It’s not going to be easy,” Yuuri whispered.

“No,” he agreed. He brought his Yuuri’s hand to lips and kissed where his fiancé’s ring used to be. “I might not have the reactions you want from me right now, but I will work through everything. Just let me catch up to where you are.”

He watched his fiancé consider his words.

Yuuri finally nodded. “Please don’t give up on me.”

“Never, Yuuri. Never.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist throwing in more Viktor/Nika time. They are so adorable together. I can't even handle their cuteness. 
> 
> As always, you can find me at @LadyMWrites. Happy to talk about anything really.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed! I'm a little behind on everything, but I will respond to them.
> 
> All right, here is the biggest chapter to date. Hope you enjoy. Please pay attention to the warnings and don't push yourself. This chapter is a roller coaster of some very strong emotions. Take a break if you need to.
> 
> Warnings, in order of appearance:
> 
> Two Star Warning: Mentions of past rape and physical assault. Nothing too graphic, just some mentions of what happened to Yuuri earlier prior to the scene. However, Yuuri does endure being physically attacked in this scene. Again, not super graphic, but is an active part of the scene rather than a summary.
> 
> Two Star Warning: This is broken up into two scenes, but the warnings are similar. For a PTSD-like experience where they're stuck in a flashback. Yuuri experience one at first, but it triggers Yuri into one as well. Mentions of the beating, again.
> 
> Two Star Warning: Yuuri's perspective. Same PTSD-like experience warning. Mentions of depression, anxiety, and loss of children.
> 
> One Star Warning: Mentions of past attacks, sexual encounters, and the start of a sexual encounter. Nothing graphic or descriptive. I'm being safe because of the content that's before it.
> 
> One Star Warning: Brief mentions of upcoming panic attacks, Yuuri's still stuck in this alternate reality. Again, nothing super descriptive. Still erring on the side of caution though because it's a roller coaster of a chapter.

-Three Months Ago, Saitama-

The familiar faces of the press were seated in front of him, waiting anxiously for him to begin. It had been another monumental season for him. Another gold medal at the Grand Prix Final. Finally, another gold at the World Figure Skating Championships. His season was finally coming to an end. Viktor desperately needed to rest. He had barely claimed the top spot. Arguably, he probably should have received silver.

He knew his performance had been terrible. But he never dropped character, which allowed his presentation score to top the person who had come in second by one-eighth of a point. Viktor knew exactly what could have been done better. His jumps were shaky at best and wearing heavily on his aging, tiring body.

Everyone was talking about his remarkable achievements though. No one was focused on how his body was holding up. His mental health. The second year of his fiancé being missing was approaching. Every day they got closer, the more he could feel himself spiraling out of control.

Rather, the illusion of control he’s built up during the season.

It would quickly go away without discipline.

With a nod from Yakov, he greeted the press. “Thank you all for being here this evening. I appreciate your support this season and am glad to be able to compete against some great skaters this year. My congratulations to the Otabek Altin and Jean-Jaques Leory on securing their recent medals. I will now open it up for questions.”

Reporters clamored to get his attention. He took in a deep breath and began taking questions.

“Mister Nikiforov, will you be competing next season?”

It was a question that came up at the end of every year. His age was always the leading factor behind the speculation. Many senior members of the press would likely go deeper into his recent performances, scrutinizing every detail. Why he had wobbled on a jump or almost touched down in one instance.

It was going to be a long press conference.

“The current plan is to continue skating next season. I am blessed to be able to keep skating and plan to pursue it for as long as possible.”

“A lot of viewers have noticed a decline in both the quality of your jumps and presentation. How are you planning to reinvent yourself for next year?”

Viktor had dreaded this question and had hoped there would be a bit more time before he had to answer it.

He gave a professional smile. “As the season continues on, it can become difficult to maintain the same level of performance throughout each competition. While this has not been a problem in the past for me, it is something that will become a focus point. As I’ve proven throughout the season, I am still able to competitively keep up with other skaters. I am confident I will be able to do what is best for me.”

It was a vague answer at best. But one that would hopefully be satisfactory enough not to warrant further inquisition.

“You’ve mentioned in previous interviews that Yuuri Katsuki was your inspiration. How are you holding up now that we’re approaching the second year since his disappearance?”

His heart clenched. It was always a possibility this question would come up. Viktor always hoped, prayed, wished would never surface so he could keep his feelings locked inside.

“I miss my fiancé. I want him returned home to me. When I’m competing, it’s hard not to think about him because he is a huge influence on the stories I tell with my programs. Everything I’ve accomplished since his disappearance is dedicated to him.”

More questions relating to his fiancé popped up. Viktor swallowed thickly, trying to process the sudden onslaught of inquiries. He couldn’t breathe very well. Yuuri’s absence always weighed on him after a competition, even more now.

He cleared his throat, anger quickly replacing his panic. The reporters stopped talking.

“I’ll only address this with the media one final time,” he began shakily. “During this time, I have repeatedly asked for this subject to not be brought up and for you to respect my privacy regarding my personal life. I have been very patient in this regard, but I will no longer tolerate any further questions about my fiancé. If I have any further comments regarding the investigation and his disappearance, they will be sent in a statement. But please, don’t bring him up anymore in these conferences.”

Viktor stood up and left the room.

_I can’t keep doing this._

Yakov followed behind him. They didn’t say anything until they were back at the hotel.

“I’m sorry,” Viktor said quietly.

“For what, Vitya?”

“I should’ve been more composed during the press conference.” He tried to even out his breathing.

Yakov snorted. “I’m not going to lecture you about that. You’ve indulged them long enough with their stupid questions. I’ve asked them repeatedly not to talk to you about it, so have you. They frankly deserve to be put in their place.”

“Will the Federation be mad?”

The older male shrugged. “Who knows. If they are, we’ll deal with it as it happens. For now, you need to rest. Maybe go see the Katsuki’s.”

Viktor shook his head. “I can’t face them,” he said.

“Why not?”

“They trusted me with their son and now he’s gone. It’s all my fault.”

Yakov growled lightly. “Vitya, you mean you haven’t seen them since your Yuuri disappeared?”

“No. I told them over the phone.”

“You’re going to see them.”

“I can’t—” he started to protest. Yakov raised his hand.

“You’re going to see them. Vitya. They’re your family too.”

He sighed. There was no arguing with Yakov. Viktor just hoped that they wouldn’t hate him too much for avoiding them for so long.

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

After their meeting with the doctor, Yuri and Yakov went to the hospital’s cafeteria. Not because he wanted to, but because he had been told to stay away from Katsuki’s room for several hours. He wouldn’t do anything to put himself in a potentially dangerous situation again.

His anxiousness continued to grow with each passing moment though. There was still a lot to discuss, but he didn’t quite know where to begin with his former coach. They sat across from each other. He munched idly on a snack while Yakov sipped on some coffee.

The older male seemed lost in his own thoughts. Yuri was grateful for the silence, but knew that it wouldn’t last--couldn’t last. They had too much to talk about.

“How’s my grandpa?” he asked.

Yakov turned his attention toward Yuri. “Fine. I talked to him to let him know you had been located safely. We’re still working to arrange a time he can come visit you. His health hadn’t been the greatest before he got the news, but it’s just the usual. He’ll be better in no time. He misses you.”

“I miss him too,” he whispered. “He really wants to see me? He’s not mad that I disappeared?”

Yakov sighed. “Of course not. He’s just relieved that you’ve been found safe.”

 

-Later-

When Yuri made his way back to Katsuki’s room, he could still smell Viktor in the air. Part of that was due to the toy Nika had come back with a few days ago. The other part had to do with the other Alpha’s actual presence earlier.

“Is it clear?” he asked. Katsuki nodded at his question. He made his way to the other’s side. Yuri climbed in the bed. The Omega shifted to allow him space. “Good reunion?”

The older male sighed. “A better one.”

“Did you tell him?’

Katsuki shook his head. “It’s not the right time.”

“Katsuki…” he started.

“Don’t,” the other said quietly. “I can’t have that conversation with him right now. He’s not ready for it. I’m not ready for it. I’m not ignoring it either, I know how much time I have left, but we just need a little more time that’s all.”

Yuri watched Katsuki settle back in the hospital bed, making sure Nika was tucked in safely. He could feel the anxiousness from the other. There was something else coming through their bond too.

“You’re afraid,” he voiced. Katsuki froze. “You know how Viktor your fiancé will act, but you don’t know how Viktor the Alpha will. It’s because of his last outburst, isn’t it?”

“ _Yura_ ,” Katsuki bit out harshly. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“You don’t have to talk,” he answered with just as much edge in his voice. “You’re putting on a brave face so no one will think anything is wrong. You can’t fool me because of this stupid thing.” He gestured toward where his own bond would go. “It’s okay to be scared, but this is more than that, right?”

Katsuki drew in a shaky breath and nodded slowly.

“Look, he may have lost control last time, but this is you. He can hate me all he wants, but you’re special to him. Nothing’s going to change that. He’s not going to react like that to you. If you hadn’t gotten in the middle, he wouldn’t even consider harming you like he would me.”

Saying the words out loud hurt.

But it was the truth.

One that Katsuki needed to hear and be reassured of.

“I know all that in my heart,” Katsuki whispered. “But my brain is telling me otherwise. I don’t want to be wrong. We can’t go through more hurt than we’ve been through.”

He sighed. “You won’t, I promise.”

 _Don’t let me down, Viktor_.

 

-Present Day, Hotel-

“Vitya,” Yakov began. “We need to talk about your training for the next season.”

He sucked in a deep breath. He had hoped they could delay this conversation for a little bit longer, but it seemed that it was no longer an option.

“Don’t,” he begged. “I don’t want to think about it right now.”

“We have to give the Federation some form of an answer.”

“Tell them I’m still thinking about it,” he answered.

“I already did. They don’t think you’re taking their support seriously,” Yakov grumbled.

“What would it take to keep them happy until I can make a decision?” he asked. “I need to talk to Yuuri about this, but we’re just starting to make progress in other areas. I can’t push this with him right now. We have more important matters.”

Yakov sighed. “I know. I’m not trying to be your enemy, Vitya. If you start a light training regime, it might reassure them that you’re not ignoring their requests.”

“Light training?” he asked.

“You do weight training three times a week, cardio the other two. We spend an hour or two on the ice each day.”

“That’s not light training,” he grumbled.

“It is when most of your competitors have their music picked out and choreography almost done.”

“I promised Yuuri I’d spend more time at the hospital.”

“There’s still time for that. I’m not trying to keep you away from your family, Vitya. I’m trying to help you bridge the gap until we figure out what to do for the season.”

“What does the Federation want?”

“Same thing as always, you know this.”

He hummed. “What about Yurio?”

“What?”

“You talked to him, right? Did you ask him what he wanted to do?”

Yakov went silent. “We talked, but not about that. I’m not pushing him to return to the ice any time soon. He won’t be ready for this season even if he did want to return.”

Viktor growled. “So you won’t talk to him about returning to the ice, but you’re asking me to leave my family and perform just to keep the Federation happy? You’re not being fair, Yakov. I wanted to retire the day my Yuuri went missing. I kept pushing because he would have wanted me to. Everything’s different now. You have to give me time to figure it all out.”

His coach took in a deep breath. “I’m trying to help you. If we do this, they’ll back off. We’ll pretend until you can have the conversation you need to with your Yuuri.”

 

-Three Months Ago, Hasetsu-

Viktor didn’t know why he decided to take Yakov’s advice and go to visit Yuuri’s family. They wouldn’t want to see him. He already knew that. They called every week, trying to talk to him about anything and everything. Most of the time, he ignored their calls and would send apology texts later—saying that he was busy.

They understood, of course. They reassured him that he was welcome to visit them whenever he had the chance. He never did.

Now, there was no avoiding them. He entered Yu-Topia. It was painfully obvious how little had changed since his last visit.

“Welcome!” he heard Mama Hiroko greet in her native tongue. Viktor was about to walk back out the entrance when she came to properly greet him. Her eyes widened and lit up. He looked down. Viktor didn’t deserve her kindness. “Vicchan!”

He stood awkwardly. She pulled him into a hug. He returned it, a strained smile on his face.

“Vicchan so sad,” Mama Hiroko commented. “Katsudon cheer you up.”

She grabbed his hand and led him toward the living room. She talked animatedly about how things were at the inn and the changes they made.

“You stay in Yuuri’s room,” she announced.

He nodded. “Okay,” he whispered. Being back in Hasetsu was odd, but comforting at the same time. Not much had changed. The calm buzz of the town was starting to return.

He had missed this.

If only Viktor was here with the person painfully absent in their world. Mama Hiroko returned with a bowl of katsudon and left to attend the guests. Mari came into the dining room.

“Hey,” she said casually.

“Hi.”

“How are you holding up?” she asked.

“I’m...all right. You?”

 Mari shrugged. “We try to keep busy. I imagine it’s the same for you.”

“Yeah,” he breathed. Viktor took a bite of the meal in front of him. A genuine smile spreading across his face. “Just as delicious as ever.”

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Sleep hadn’t come easy for Yuri that night. He had paced around instead of resting in the hospital bed. He hadn’t wanted to wake Katsuki or Nika with his restlessness.

Everything had changed in such a short amount of time. In the compound, he had known exactly where he fit in with everyone’s life. Now, he no clue. Katsuki didn’t need him anymore. Not Viktor back in his life.

When they were together back then, they needed each other. Katsuki was moving on, leaving him behind. Yuri didn’t know what to do now. He sat in a room across from Doctor Luski, but didn’t want to talk about what he was feeling right now.

The same thoughts he had replayed throughout the night.

“Want to tell me what you’re thinking about?”

He eyed the doctor. “No.”

“Okay. What do you want to talk about?” 

Yuri bit his lip and contemplated the pros and cons of talking about something close to what he was thinking, but not the actual topic. “I want to know how you close a bond.”

“How long have you been thinking about closing the bond?” Yuri didn’t answer. “Have you talked to Mister Katsuki about this?” 

“No.”

“We can start talking about some of the things you’ll experience if you sever the bond. However, we won’t be able to close the bond unless both of you consent.”

“Fine,” he exhaled. “I just want to get it over with.” 

“Why is that?”

He shrugged and didn’t answer again.

“Okay. Well, ending a platonic bond is easy to do, but can come with several side effects. When two people sever the bond, it’s typically recommended that the two don’t see each other until the bond completely goes away. I understand that you likely will be discharged soon. Have you thought about where you are going to go after you leave here?”

“Yeah, I’ll go back to Saint Petersburg. I’m staying with my old ballet instructor.”

“We’ll also have to talk with Mister Katsuki about what his plans are once he’s discharged from the hospital,” Doctor Luski said. 

“What side effects will there be for me?” he asked.

“You can experience increased depression and anxiety. There will also be physical pain as well. Regardless of if it’s a platonic or mating bond, your body accepts it and expects it to last for life. Whenever a platonic bond is severed unexpectedly, it could cause both parties to treat it like a severed mating bond—depending on their level of compatibility. That’s why a platonic bond is closed slowly rather than all at once.”

He sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep his feelings at bay. This was more complicated than he had known.

_I wish I hadn’t bonded with him._

“How long will the process take?”

“Given that your bond with Mr. Katsuki was formed two years ago and has been quite active, I imagine it could take up to a month.”

_Everything would be easier._

“That long?”

“Maybe longer. It would be better to wait until the end of Mister Katsuki’s pregnancy to sever the bond.”

“If we don’t want to wait that long?”

_I could move on with my life._

Doctor Luski looked thoughtful. “Then we’ll have to take more time. Again, this all depends on if both parties consent. There will also be more therapy for both of you along with regular checkups. If severing the bond is causing too much strain on either of you, we’ll have to intervene.”

Yuri sucked in a deep breath. “Can we talk about it with him?”

“You mean in a group session?”

“Yeah.”

_I never wanted this._

“I think we need to allow for more time,” Doctor Luski said.

“But there isn’t time!” he shouted. Yuri felt his heart freeze. He hadn’t meant to tell the doctor.

“Why do you think that?”

Yuri didn’t answer.

 

-Present Day, Rink-

Viktor hadn’t expected press to be there his first day back to training, but they were waiting like vultures when he arrived. Signature sunglasses secure, gym bag in hand, he exited the taxi confidently. They immediately started taking pictures of him and shouting questions.

Everyone wanted his attention. Everyone wanted an answer.

He didn’t give them one.

Yakov had sent the official press release to the Federation, who published it online. All it said was that while Viktor was in Moscow, he would temporarily be training here to be near Yuuri Katsuki as the missing skater continued to recover.

Yet the press had pounced on every written and unwritten word there. They wanted to get the latest details on Yuuri’s health and what Viktor’s programs would look like for the next season. He ignored all of their inquiries and marched inside the rink. 

It was the longest walk of his life. Once the doors were firmly shut and locked for their private session, he allowed himself to relax. He quickly got ready for practice and waited rink side for Yakov’s instructions.

“Even if we’re doing this to appease the Federation, Vitya, you should still decide on a theme.” 

He had thought about it last night, of course. “I already have one in mind.” 

“What is it?” 

“Reunion and joy.”

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Yuri didn’t say anything when he returned to Katsuki’s hospital room. The Omega was being helped slowly around the room. The nurses had insisted the older male start being more mobile. Nika was walking next to Katsuki, careful not to stray too far from his parent’s side.

He didn’t miss the way the older male would occasionally falter. Or how Katsuki would shake with each small step.

“Yura,” Katsuki said shakily. “I didn’t think you’d be back for a while.”

He shrugged. “We ended early.”

Katsuki didn’t press, just went back to concentrating on taking a step forward. It was pathetic. Not that the older man didn’t know how to walk. Yuri realized he barely knew what the Omega had gone through in terms of treatment.

_He never needed you. Just the protection you could offer him._

Yuri stayed at a distance. Nika eventually made his way over to where he stood. The child lifted his arms, silently asking to be lifted up. Yuri was a weak man when it came to Nika.

He was pretty certain the kid made everyone weak.

Thank goodness Nika wasn't old enough to realize the power he had.

He picked up the toddler without word. Nika squealed in delight. 

“You two haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time together,” Katsuki commented. “I’m sure he misses that just as much as you do.” 

The older male stumbled, leaning the majority of his weight on the nurse who was balancing him. A frustrated sigh escaping his lips. Katsuki kept going though, pushing through despite how many times his body didn’t react the way he wanted.

Nika babbled at him. He directed his attention toward the toddler. “I think he wants to play,” Yuri remarked.

“There’s his poodle on the bed and a couple of books.” 

Yuri disliked all of those items. They were bought by Viktor. He always imagined what sort of gift he could give Nika if they weren’t in the compound. How life would’ve been different for all of them if they didn’t lose two years. 

Of course he loved Nika, no one was able to resist the toddler. However, it would’ve been better if he had been less involved earlier in the child’s life. He had grown attached. Now, he was stuck in the awkward position. He had helped raise the child in his arms for over a year. 

It wasn’t expected from him anymore.

The child’s second father was in the picture. 

He walked over to the hospital bed they’ve been sharing, Nika talking to him excitedly. 

“What do you want to do, Nika?” he asked. The toddler continued his babbling. When he presented the options to the kid, Nika grabbed one of the books.

Yuri settled in the bed and opened the book. He started reading to the child, who pointed at the pictures. After several minutes, Katsuki was helped back to where they were. He got up to let the other in, holding on to Nika.

It took a while for Katsuki to get settled. Nika watched his parent carefully. Once Katsuki was tucked in again, they surrounded the Omega. He attempted to move Nika to the other’s side, but the toddler gave a small whimper and gripped his clothes tightly.

Katsuki gave a soft laugh. “Looks like you’re not going anywhere for a while, Yura.”

He smiled while looking down at the toddler, who met his gaze. “Just like when he was younger.”

A squeal of delight came from Nika. “Just like then,” Katsuki agreed. “He knew we were wrapped around his little fingers even back then.”

“Don’t worry, Nika. I’m not going anywhere.” He ruffled the boy’s hair.

 _Not yet_.

 

-**Two Years Ago, Unknown**-

Yuuri was dragged out of his room forcefully. Two guards had came in to collect him after a particularly painful session with the person who had seen him last. He cried in discomfort as they jerked his battered body along. A guard paused long enough to deliver a slap to his face before shouting something at him. 

He guessed by the tone that it was an order to keep him quiet. Yuuri felt the urge to scream again when they tugged his body forward again. The last person hadn’t bothered with prep and inserted objects into his body. The worst came when a knife had been brought out and they cut into his back.

Everything hurt. 

The woman who had led him to the room had warned him over and over to not resist. He had to protect himself though. Not just for him, but for the child inside. The woman watched with emotionless eyes as he was led into the lobby of the building. Her body rigid, hands behind her back.

His mind fixated on her expression. Whatever was about to happen would not be good, he deduced.

_Please let us survive this._

It was then that he noticed several other people were slowly filling the space around him. Most of them were naked like him. Their scents thick in the air. Almost all were Omegas. Their eyes focused on him. He was in the center of the room. 

The woman began speaking harshly in a foreign tongue to everyone in the room. Yuuri recognized it as Russian, but didn’t recognize all the words. Suddenly, her cold gaze was once again on him, anger splayed across her features. His body went rigid under her unforgiving glance.

His mind vaguely registered the guards shouting again, them forcing his body to be open and vulnerable. Yuuri hissed at their treatment.

Another harsh blow.

Then, the sound of a new voice joining in with the guards. This one softer, familiar. 

It took all of his strength to focus on the new person. His body reacting instantly to the scent around him.

“Yuri,” he breathed. His anxiousness died down momentarily at the sight of the young teen. 

The guard who had struck him earlier yanked on his hair and shouted something at him. The more reasonable guard spoke toward Yuri. The teen briefly looked in his direction, but averted his eyes not too long after. He watched the other’s body language, trying to decipher what was being said. 

“Yuri,” he said again. The rough guard delivered another blow. He yelped.

This time, Yuri spoke, quietly. The second guard responded.

“Katuski,” Yuri said sharply. He winced at the harsh way his last name fell from the other’s lips. “Stay quiet for now, okay? It’ll only make things worse.”

He met the young teen’s gaze, understanding the need for his silence. Yuuri nodded before dropping his head in submission. 

_How could it possibly get worse?_

He continued to wait while the guards continued talking. Despite his silence, their anger had not dissipated. Anxiety was resurfacing, gripping tightly. His chest clenched tight. His mind running through every worst possible scenario. 

“Katsuki,” he heard again. He lifted his head to meet Yuri’s eyes once again. They were filled with fear. “You have to obey.” 

“But Yuri…”

“If you obey, you’ll be all right. They won’t harm you if you stop resisting.”

“You can’t say that,” he whispered. “You don’t know what they do to me. I don’t want them to hurt my child.”

He saw a flicker of sympathy, but it was quickly replaced behind a mask. Yuuri hated the cold look on the young teen’s face. “You have to stop resisting. They say it will only get worse.”

“How could it possibly get worse?” he asked.

The guards talked again angrily. Yuri answered back. “They won’t harm you or the baby if you follow orders. No more resisting, okay?”

He held Yuri’s gaze a while longer. The teen was scared. He didn’t know why. Had they threatened all of them? Yuuri reached out for the teen, hoping to reassure the other that he was fine. A guard pulled his hand away. 

“I can’t, Yuri.” He took in a deep breath. “I can’t let them have what they want from me.”

This spurred the woman into action.

“You,” she hissed. The woman stepped closer to him. Her hands still behind her back. “I say clients can do whatever. No resistance. You fight.”

He felt her anger grow with each word.

“You think because you have Alpha, Alpha protect you?” She took another step toward him. “Answer,” the woman demanded.

“No,” he said quietly.

“Alpha can’t protect you here.” She was now within arm’s length of him. “You resist, you punished.”

She moved her arms from behind her back. He didn’t have time to register what the object in her hand was, but his body felt the sting from the device.

A whip.

He cried out.

“Bear in silence.” 

She continued her brutal beating for what felt like hours. Cuts began to form along his skin, bleeding openly on the ground below him.

Every blow hurt worse than the last, each aimed at different parts of his body. The guards held him still, keeping him from being able to curl up and protect himself. 

She paused her beating. “Will you submit?” 

He didn’t look away from her. Another blow came, but this time it was delivered by her fist. 

The woman said something to the guards in the foreign language. His body was being dragged away from the circle. More orders were shouted and the Omegas got to work, cleaning the blood out of the carpet.

His blood. 

Blood that was still freely flowing. 

Where were they taking him?

What else was going to happen?

He started to give in to unconsciousness, but Yuri’s scent was still heavy in the air. He could smell the distress rolling off the Alpha. He looked around, trying to search for the other.

Panic bubbling again. He wouldn’t be safe without Yuri with him. His eyes met the teen’s gaze. Green hues glossy with unshed tears. He reached out for the other, hand shaking. They were going to take him back

He couldn’t go back.

Going back meant people using him.

Being alone with his thoughts.

“No!” he screamed. Panic taking over when his body fully realized what was happening to him. “Yuri, don’t let them take me back. Yuri! Please don’t let them take me back!”

He repeated the frantic phrases over and over. The teenaged Alpha did nothing.

“ _Yura, please!”_

 

-**Present Day, Hospital**-

He woke to the sounds of pained screaming. Fear and sorrow overflowing through the bond he shared with Katsuki.

Yuri felt shaky hands grip his clothing tight. The screams persisted.

“ _Please,_ ” Katsuki begged, hoarse and broken. “Don’t let them take me back.”

His blood froze at the familiarity of the situation. Yuri tried to calm the other by releasing his pheromones, but it didn’t help the Omega’s nightmare.

The pleas intensified. “Don’t let them take me back.”

He could feel the mixture of emotions increase through the bond. It was overwhelming, taking him down as well. The bond slowly dragging him into his own version of Katsuki’s nightmare. Yuri remembered the first time he and the Omega were reunited in the compound. 

The demand for him to for Yuuri to submit to their bidding.

When disobedience happened, repeated blows.

Until Katsuki was covered in blood. 

When the guards had brought Katsuki to force him to make the Omega submit, he had thought it was a ridiculous idea. But then he remembered their bond. 

In a sense, he was Katsuki’s Alpha.

He could force the other to obey if absolutely necessary.

Yuri hadn’t wanted that and tried to be rational. It didn’t work.

Katsuki’s screams brought a doctor and several nurses to their room. The heady scent of a distressed Omega filled the air. Nika started crying. Yuri growled at the newcomers.

They were going to hurt them. 

He couldn’t trust them.

He had to keep Katsuki and Nika safe. A doctor tried to approach them, he snapped toward them.

Clawing. 

Teeth bared. 

Yuri couldn’t let them near.

They would take them away from him. Take them back to hell. He refused to go back. Yuri would fight until he couldn’t anymore.

At first, they had stepped away from him, assessing the situation. Then, they split, going opposite directions. One nurse heading toward Nika, the doctor heading for Katsuki.

He couldn’t cover them both. 

His Alpha had to prioritize which was more important. Who was more defenseless?

_Nika._

The doctor inserted a needle into his arm while he was distracted by the nurse going for Nika. Yuri tried to stop the doctor from injecting him, but it was too late.

Soon, his vision grew fuzzy and he started to lose his consciousness. 

All he could hear was Katsuki’s pleas and Nika’s cries. 

_“Yura, please don’t let them take me back.”_

He had failed.

Again.

 

-**Later**-

When Yuri woke, it was laden with panic. His body felt heavier than usual. The overwhelming distress from the bond was still strongly present. Though he wasn’t able to feel much, Yuri knew Katsuki or Nika were by his side. The thought of being separated from them caused him to whine. He needed them by his side.

He tried to get up, but couldn’t.

_Katsuki. Have to get to Katsuki._

Yuri knew everything had been a lie. They hadn’t been rescued at all. Everyone was leading them into a false sense of security before they were taken back to the compound. He let out a broken sob.

_I failed you. I thought I was making the right decision. I’m sorry._

A person came close to where he was. He recognized the antibacterial smell. Yuri tried to focus on the new presence. 

He was waiting for them to punish him. He had disobeyed. Fought back.

_If they hurt me, they might not hurt Katsuki._

The person came closer, unaware of his conscious state. As they walked within his range, Yuri mustered all his strength toward them to attack them. None of his limbs moved right. Whoever was there, jumped out of the way as he fell toward the ground.

His body didn’t register the pain though. Tears welled in his eyes at the thought of his additional disobedience. He may have caused more problems for the person he desperately needed to save.

“Please,” he sobbed. “Don’t hurt him. Hurt me.”

 

-Present Day, Rink-

Both Viktor’s and Yakov’s phones had gone off at almost the same time during practice. Normally their cell phones would be forbidden from practice, but each had them readily available for any sort of emergency.

Like this one.

His had ended with a demand that he come to the hospital immediately if he could. Mentally and emotionally, Yuuri had taken a turn for the worst overnight. His fiancé wasn’t able to pull himself out of a recurring nightmare. The doctor refused to sedate his beloved for some reason.

They thought his presence would be able to calm him.

Viktor was confused.

He thought Yurio was able to do that. The doctor’s urgent tone told him now wasn’t the time for his questions. It was also expressed that his son had been in a great deal of distress because Yuuri was in such a state.

The thought of his family suffering because of this was too much to bear. He started packing up before he got permission from Yakov. The older male was taking his sweet time on the phone. Viktor couldn’t wait anymore.

As soon as his regular shoes were on his feet, Viktor was out the door.

Of course, this just had to be the day when the press finally figured out the new rink he was training at. They had switched to a lesser-known facility in order to enjoy a brief reprieve from the press. It was also further from the hotel and hospital so not to give away too much of his privacy.

He was immediately surrounded by cameras and reporters. Viktor really should’ve waited for Yakov.

“Mister Nikiforov, can you tell us about your training?” 

“What do your programs look like this year?” 

“How long will you be staying in Moscow?”

“Why did you switch rinks?” 

“Do you normally leave practice this early?” 

“Where are you headed now?” 

“Do you have any update on Mister Katsuki’s condition?”

He growled at the reporters. “I have no comment to any of your questions at this time. Please leave me alone,” he stated simply.

“All we keep hearing from your camp is “no comment,” Mister Nikiforov. The people want to know what’s happening in your life.”

_Yuuri, I’m sorry._

He made his way toward the rental he had picked up earlier in the week. The press kept him from getting inside the vehicle. Viktor felt his anger rise. They were preventing him from getting to his fiancé. His son. They were in distress! They needed him to be there!

“Back away!” he shouted loudly. The reporters were stunned. He hadn’t realized he had let so much of his Alpha side go, but it didn’t matter. He walked to his car and got in without another word.

There would be consequences later.

Right now, all that mattered was getting to his Yuuri.

Except he still couldn’t.

They were following him

_I’m coming, I promise._

 

-**Present Day, Hospital**-

Yuuri could hear the cries of his child his dream-like state. They were constantly ringing in his ears, but he couldn’t reach his son. He whined. 

He was failing as a person, as a parent.

Yuuri was letting everyone down with his inability to function normally. This wasn’t the first time he had done so.

_Won’t be the last either._

He could hear the lies again, telling him stories of his failures over the years. Each retelling picked him apart, telling him just how useless he’d been in every situation. The most recent memories hurt the most.

The whispering voices talked him through every child he had lost, starting with the most recent.

They always started in reverse.

Because the first child he lost would always hurt the most.

 

-*1.5 Years Ago, Unknown*-

Yuuri gasped as a powerful kick was delivered to his side. The baby inside his belly shifted, making themselves comfortable on his bladder. Instantly, the ramifications of the weight had him running toward the bathroom.

He rubbed his large belly gently. “You really like laying in that spot, huh?” Yuuri whispered. It wasn’t the first time he had been woken up by the baby’s movements. He knew the child would be going to sleep soon, but that just meant he would be awake for several more hours since the need to pee would constantly be there.

Somehow, he had made it several months into his pregnancy despite everything that had happened. He had been so afraid during his earlier months, hoping the baby would survive all the unknowns and horrible beatings thrown his way.

The child had so far. Yuuri knew that as long as his and Viktor’s child made it, he could too.

He rested on the bed, closing his eyes, but not sleeping. One hand stroked his belly. The other remained pressed against where he knew the baby’s feet were. Though he didn’t know the exact month he was in, Yuuri guessed he was between six and seven months.

Yuuri felt big. Bigger than he expected to get at this stage. Granted, he hadn’t been able to do much research on what he’d look like at each stage of the pregnancy, but he felt as though he was too large.

Maybe he was wrong about how far along he was. Perhaps they had been stuck in this place longer than he thought. Without a calendar, it was impossible to tell. Of course he had tried to keep track through the weather patterns. The window in his room was covered all the time.

So he attempted to tell the season by the clothing those who visited him wore, but it was almost impossible. Many of them wore uniforms similar to the guards he had seen since his arrival on the compound.

They hadn’t varied in how they were worn.

Others would come dressed in business suits. Rarely did someone come in wearing casual clothing. 

The guards tended to be the worst when it came to abusing his body. Those sessions left him with the most cuts, bruises, and scars.

Sometimes, like today, they came in groups.

His door opened, letting three people inside. They were all guards, still in uniform. 

Yuuri recognized one of them from before. His mind linking him to the day he got whipped in front of the Omega group. The guard that had hit him several times over.

Their eyes met briefly, a smirk forming across the other’s mouth. He did his best to suppress a shudder. Yuuri didn’t move from his spot, knowing they would move him if they wanted him in a different position.

“Omega,” one of the guards said. It was heavily accented. Yuuri knew who had said it. He looked at the familiar guard. “Off bed.” 

He complied, belly making it slightly difficult, but he managed. Yuuri could smell the desire in the room. He knew it was mostly due to his scent. Pregnant Omegas, apparently, were almost impossible to resist.

It’s why they were usually kept by their Alpha’s side or locked up.

He waited for them to touch him, to make any movements toward him at all.

“Come here,” the same voice commanded. He sauntered forward, well aware of the multiple sets of eyes watching his body’s every movement.

Yuuri knew that this wasn’t going to be a normal session.

Not with the way the man was grinning.

Not the way he was looking at him.

This was going to turn out to be something more.

 _Something worse_.

“Stop,” the man ordered when Yuuri just inches away from belly touching the man. He gestured to his groin area. “Suck.”

This session would be all about _obeying_.

Yuuri took in a shaky breath before lowering to his knees. His hands reached up and began to free the guard from his pants.

 

-*Present Day, Hospital*-

It had taken Viktor two hours to lose the media entirely. He had driven through Moscow like he was running errands, calling the doctors who were attending Yuuri to get updates on his fiancé’s condition at every stop. They sounded more concerned with each call.

He had tried to get them to put the phone by his fiancé’s ear to at least talk a little, but it didn’t help much. His Yuuri had responded to his voice, further confirming that it would be best if he got there as soon as possible.

 _“Your Omega needs you to be here in person,” the doctor repeated._  

_“I’m trying to get there! I just can’t right now.”_

_“How much longer do you think it will be?” Viktor looked in the rearview mirror and let out a curse._

_“I don’t know. I’ll call you back later.”_  

The media hadn’t known what hospital his fiancé was staying in, which was the good news. However, preventing that information from getting out was always going to be a challenge, especially with some of the more persistent members of the press—mostly gossip sites who would do anything to get a new story about him. They had taken the longest to lose. Viktor had managed to get in touch with Yakov during his attempts to shake the photographers.

He told his coach to show up with another rental at the hospital and return the one he was currently driving as soon as he arrived. Yakov grunted in agreement.

In his panic to get to his fiancé, he had yet to apologize to the other for ditching him. Nor had he asked what the phone call Yakov had received was about. There were more important things in life right now.

Like his family.

Who were still in distress.

Viktor pulled in the parking garage at the hospital and used his pass. He pulled in to where his usual spot and rushed inside.

The receptionist greeted him with a smile and handed him a new set of car keys. He left the old ones with her. She didn’t say anything else, except wished him the best in spending time with his family.

His heart pounded as he made his way toward the elevators. Everything was taking too damn long in his opinion. Viktor tried to calm himself, knowing that if he added his current pheromones to the mix, it would only send his family into further chaos.

He had no intention of doing that. Viktor worked to steady his breathing, recognizing the signs of an impending anxiety attack from having to help Yuuri through so many. It was a new feeling. One that he would address later. Right now, he just needed to focus on taking deep breaths in and out.

After several minutes, he began to feel himself calm down. Viktor made his way to his fiancé’s room, taking slower steps despite his Alpha side demanding he sprint to be with his beloved. He had to be in control this time.

No matter what he was about to walk into, Viktor was certain that he could handle it. 

From down the hall, he could hear Yuuri’s cries. The smell of his distressed fiancé hit him hard. He stopped. It was so powerful, but he had to keep going. His Alpha side desperately wanting to be unleashed to protect its beloved. He wouldn’t let it take control.

Nika’s cries nearly destroyed his resolve though. Viktor took in several more breaths before making his way to their room.

His family was hurting so bad.

_Quit taking your time and go to them._

He ignored that desire and kept his pace, making sure to breathe as much as possible.

When Viktor finally entered the room, he felt completely in control of his secondary gender. He needed to be himself as much as possible. It would help reassure his family.

The doctor by his fiancé’s side gestured toward the chair by the bed. He made his way toward it. Viktor noticed that his fiancé lost in a dream-like state. The doctor had mentioned it being a flashback that they couldn’t get him out of.

His fiancé was technically awake, but stuck in this alternate reality.

It was gut-wrenching to see Yuuri’s face contorted in pain. Hair sticking to his face due to sweat. Every now and then, a desperate plea fell from his fiancé’s lips.

“Please don’t hurt my baby,” Yuuri whispered.

Within seconds of him sitting down, Nika was placed in his arms by a nurse. 

His son was torn, he noted. Nika reached a hand toward Yuuri, but buried his face in Viktor’s neck. 

Tears falling down the other’s cheek. Viktor released his scent to calm both his fiancé and son down. Nika’s cries immediately began to soften, but the hand was still outstretched toward Yuuri.

Whatever state Yuuri was in, didn’t stop as quickly. At first, Viktor thought that he was having no effect whatsoever on his fiancé; but slowly, clarity was returning to his beloved’s eyes.

An hour later, his beloved was finally lucid enough to recognize what was going on around him. Nika had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

Suddenly, Yuuri reached toward the side of the bed, searching for something. A nurse handed him a trashcan. The sound of his fiancé violently throwing up was difficult to hear. It went on for several minutes. Viktor waited patiently. The same nurse returned with a glass of water. 

It seemed to be a routine, he noted. Viktor wondered how long his fiancé had been ill. Was it a stomach bug? Was he contagious? Why was Nika still allowed in the room?

Once his fiancé was done with the trashcan, it was removed. Yuuri sank heavily back into the pillows. Exhaustion written clearly on his fiancé’s face.

They started performing several tests on Yuuri, making sure that his vital signs were stable. It wasn’t until the end when they shot him a glance and looked wary at his presence. Why were they suddenly so tense around him? He had just helped calm everyone down. Viktor watched his fiancé carefully, attempting to see if there was any new reaction.

Yuuri’s eyes, for the most part, were unfocused. They kept disappearing for longer each time he blinked.

“Mister Katsuki,” the doctor called. His fiancé eyed the doctor. “We have to perform a scan. Do you mind if Mister Nikiforov is present?”

Viktor hated that they were referring to him as if he wasn’t there, but kept a close eye on his fiancé’s face. 

Yuuri looked worn out, drained, and beaten. 

“Sleep,” Yuuri muttered.

“Not until after this scan, Mister Katsuki. We need to know if we can perform it in the presence of your fiancé though.”

Fear flashed in his fiancé’s eyes for a brief moment before he nodded. “He can stay.”

 

-Yuuri-

His body felt heavy. He was so, so tired. Every muscle ached. His throat was hoarse. Made worse by throwing up earlier and not helped by the water given to him.

Yuuri had been well aware of Viktor’s gaze on him as he emptied his guts earlier. Already, he could sense the questions on his fiancé’s mind. One that he both did and did not want to answer right now.

Not that he was going to have much of a choice.

His mind was still hazy.

What had happened? 

He didn’t exactly know. Didn’t want to know right now. All he wanted to do was rest. Viktor was there. His fiancé’s scent was why he felt more relaxed than earlier. All he remembered were bits and pieces of his nightmare.

Thankfully, they hadn’t gotten worse.

But their return to the surface of his mind tore open the barely-healing wounds of his heart. Eventually he would have to tell Viktor the truth of what had happened that day. Now was not the time. 

Now he had to tell a different story.

One that would threaten their relationship. A truth he had been so desperate to hide.

Now, he couldn’t.

A technician rolled the machine from behind the curtain in the room. It had been brought up here due to his pregnancy and they hadn’t taken it out.

The doctor briefly said this was merely precautionary due to the incredible amount of stress his body’s been under the past several hours. He merely nodded. All he wanted to do was rest properly.

They rolled back his blankets and hospital gown. Cold gel was placed on his stomach. He didn’t even react to it.

A wand placed over the gel and soon an image popped up on the small screen. They continued to move around.

“Everything looks good, Mister Katsuki.”

“Heartbeat,” he said. He turned to look at Viktor, who had a look of awe on his face. 

They pressed a button and the sound of a heartbeat filled the room. Viktor instantly reacted to the noise.

“Oh my god,” Viktor whispered.

“I wanted to find a different way to tell you,” he said weakly. Tears started to fall down his face as he thought about his previous conversation with Yura. If only he had gotten to do this on his own terms. He took a shaky breath. “I didn’t want you to find out that I was having a child this way.”

Yuuri watched his fiancé. Waiting for him to say something.

 

-Viktor-

He had been confused at first when a new machine was wheeled out from behind the curtain of the room. Of course he had known that his fiancé was in a semi-private room, even though it was basically private given the circumstances.

But then, they had uncovered his fiancé’s body. He had noticed all the scars that littered his beloved’s body now. Viktor didn’t let his gaze linger, knowing that it might make Yuuri uncomfortable.

He wanted to know where they came from though. He also wanted to reassure his fiancé that these changes didn’t make him love Yuuri any less.

Instead, he settled for watching them get the machine set up. Cool gel was placed on his fiancé’s stomach. It was the second glance that he noticed a small, barely noticeable bump starting to form. The contrast was only obvious given how much weight Yuuri had lost. If his fiancé was his normal size, Viktor wouldn’t have noticed at all.

His heart tightened at what this all meant. His mind fluttering back to things he had read when he first learned about Yuuri’s pregnancy two years ago. Viktor had researched everything about a baby’s development during that time, never knowing if or when he’d get his fiancé back. 

Suddenly it made sense why the doctors were hesitant to sedate Yuuri. Heavy medications were harmful to fetuses and could cause complications. They weren’t trying to make his fiancé suffer more, just trying to keep them both safe as naturally as possible.

Viktor couldn’t breathe very well when he saw the picture of the small child on the screen. It was so small. Helpless. But it was there, growing inside his beloved. Just like Nika had.

Then, Yuuri had requested the heartbeat to be played.

It was an amazing sound. 

He imagined this is what would’ve been like with Nika. This is what their appointments would’ve have been if their lives hadn’t been drastically changed.

The technician cleaned his fiancé, wiping away the excess gel and pulling down his gown. Soon, Yuuri was tucked back underneath the blankets.

Viktor was still in awe at the sound of the heartbeat, replaying it in his mind. The moment was shattered by his fiancé speaking. “I wanted to find a different way to tell you.” Yuuri couldn’t hold back tears. Viktor felt his heart squeeze tighter. “I didn’t want you to find out that I was having a child this way.” 

Suddenly, all the air left his body--like someone had punched him in the gut.

_This isn’t your child._

His Alpha side was displeased.

However, there was a part of him that was happy. He was going to regain all the moments he missed out on with Nika.

“Oh Yuuri,” he whispered. Viktor raised his free hand to brush away the tears flowing from his fiancé’s eyes. He didn’t miss the way Yuuri flinched at the sight of his hand coming closer. Once he touched Yuuri’s skin though, that fear seemed to disappear. “You don’t have to choose between me and the child. I’m here for you. I’ll love and support both of you no matter what you decide.” 

His fiancé sobbed even harder. “Really?”

“Really,” he said again. “We’ll talk more about it after you get some rest, okay?”

Yuuri nodded, settling back and drifting off to sleep soon after. 

Viktor’s eyes fixated on where the baby was currently growing. He was determined to be a supportive fiancé. It altered their lives, but he was determined to still love the child.

_But it’s not your child._

 

-Three Days Later, Hospital-

They had kept them separated for three days. Yuri had only been able to come out of his recurring nightmare once Katsuki did. Doctor Luski called it a “rare occurrence.” Usually, a platonic bond doesn’t set off the person carrying the bond. 

Yet that’s exactly what had happened. The doctor theorized it was because their trauma was tied to similar instances and therefore triggered PTSD-like episodes. Katsuki had his occur under normal circumstances. Yuri’s was accidental.

Katsuki’s words had set Yuri off in the same series of memories, further amplified by the feelings coming through the one-sided bond. It triggered his Alpha side to go into survival mode. Because both platonic and mated bonds could act similarly, in that moment, Yuri’s Alpha wanted to protect what it recognized as his.

Despite them not being actual mates, his Alpha recognized Katsuki as one and Nika was his son.

The explanation made him sick. Just another thing Viktor could hate him for. He never wanted their relationship to be like that. Biology and their “unique circumstances” had complicated everything. Made it worse, in his opinion.

Yuri was more convinced than ever that they should sever the bond as soon as possible. He hadn’t brought up the topic around Doctor Luski again though. The doctor made it clear that this would not be a common occurrence and would likely not happen again—especially since he would likely leave the hospital soon.

Proximity played a huge role in the situation. Back in the compound, Katsuki had largely experienced upsetting emotional experiences away from Yuri. However, the ones that they shared together were more traumatizing for both of them because they fed off each other’s emotions.

Yuri because of the bond. While Katsuki could because he was sensitive and easily pick up on emotions. There would always be a chance for this to happen again. The risk would always be there. But Doctor Luski didn’t seemed convinced that it would.

Just knowing that there was a chance though set Yuri on the edge. He didn’t want to be trapped in a flashback that he couldn’t get out of. He wanted to be in control of his body. His emotions. His Alpha side.

Knowing that part of his reactions could be influenced so strongly by Katsuki scared him. They were already suffering so much, they didn’t deserve more. 

When he entered the room again, Katsuki visibly brightened.

“Yura!” The Omega shifted in the bed to make room for him. Nika also turned to greet him.

Damn it. This was going to be harder than he originally thought. Yuri didn’t join them on the bed. He made his way to the chair that had become a somewhat permanent fixture by the Omega’s side.

Confusion wrote itself on the other’s face when he chose to sit there instead. He took a deep breath.

“Yura?” Katsuki asked, concern evident in his voice. He could do this. He could have this conversation. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” he answered gruffly. Katsuki said nothing in response to that.

“Do you want to hold Nika? He missed you.”

Yuri hesitated. The last thing he wanted to do was get more attached than he already was. It would make things harder in the end. He just wanted life to be easier. Or at least not completely tied to what _had_ happened, but what _will_. Their future now held more options.

“It’s okay. You need him more,” he answered casually.

 _Especially with what I’m about to tell you_.

“You’re scaring me, Yura.” He flinched. That damn nickname. It was too friendly. Every time he tried to pull away, something Katsuki did would always try to suck him back in. He couldn’t. He had to remain strong.

For both their sakes.

“There’s something I need to talk to you about,” he started. Katsuki, impossibly, looked relieved. 

_He doesn’t know what’s coming._

“I wanted to talk to you about something too,” Katsuki said. “You first?”

Yuri shook his head. “No, you go ahead.”

He needed an extra moment to steel his nerves for the conversation he was about to have. He knew the magnitude about what he was about to propose. It wasn’t that he was afraid. Yuri already knew this was going to be better for them in the long time.

However, telling Katsuki news is different. Harder.

Because if you weren’t careful, you could shatter Katsuki’s entire world.

“I told Viktor,” Katsuki started out. He met the Omega’s gaze. Tears still filled his eyes, but Yuri couldn’t tell if they were from sadness or happiness.

“What happened?” he asked.

“When I came out of...everything, I got sick. Viktor was already there. They had to...check too.”

“You didn’t get to tell him on your terms,” Yuri concluded. “How did he react?”

This answer was the most important one.

If the reaction was favorable, then Yuri could be the one to shatter the Omega’s heart.

If Viktor had reacted negatively, he would delay. Not because he didn’t want to talk about this. Because he knew there was only such Katsuki could handle in a day. 

“He said he’d support us. He promised we’d talk about it more when I was ready. We just haven’t been able to. Not yet, but soon.”

Yuri let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His conviction was back. He could do this.

“I’m glad for you,” he whispered.

A brief, small smile flashed over Katsuki’s face before it disappeared.

“What did you want to talk about?” Katsuki asked.

He took in several breaths and dropped his gaze. Looking at the Omega hurt too much right now. He couldn’t get through it if he was directly looking at the other.

“Seems like things are going well for you and Viktor,” he remarked casually. He didn’t say anything, hoping the other would fall into an easy conversation.

Katsuki picked up on his desire instantly. “I don’t want to get my hopes up yet. We still have a long way to go, but I think we’re going to be all right.”

“I hope you’re able to get your old life back.”

“I hope the same for you, Yura.”

He swallowed. “I think in order to achieve that, we should sever our bond.”

Instantly, he felt the fear, hurt, and sadness through the bond.

“What?” Katsuki asked.

He took in a deep breath. “In order to move on, we should sever the bond. You’re safe now. I’m safe. We’re going to be pursuing different things. We don’t have a reason to be tied together. VIktor’s here. I’m not needed to protect you anymore.”

“How long have you been thinking about this, Yura?”

“Since you were reunited with Viktor.”

“Why?” Katsuki asked. There was no anger. No sadness. Just confusion.

“I’m not needed anymore. I don’t fit now that you have him back. When we were…” he trailed off, pushing back memories from their time at the compound. “When we were taken, I knew where I fit in with your life. Now, everything I did then will never compare to what Viktor can offer you now.”

Yuri expected tears. Feared that he would make the other man cry.

Yet that’s not what Katsuki did. Instead, the Omega closed off.

He could still feel the sadness through the bond.

But Katsuki’s expression remained blank.

_I’m sorry._

"Katsuki," Yuri said. "Are you okay?"

There was no response.

It was unnerving.

Silence wasn't what he deserved, but it was what he endured for his suggestion. Worst of all, there was no resolution for him.

He got up and turned to leave the room. Before he left, Yuri spared one final glance at the expressionless friend he was leaving behind.

_It’s going to be better for both of us, I promise._

As he walked further away from the room and heard Nika’s cries, Yuri couldn’t help but feel the exact opposite.

He couldn’t look back.

Not now.

Katsuki wouldn’t want him back anyway.

Yuri had made his choice. 

Now, he had to stand by it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems like I just pile a bunch of garbage on Yuuri. He's going to push back, make no mistake. Yuuri can handle a lot (he's amazingly strong), but even he has his limits. There will be more of that next chapter.
> 
> And who knows, if enough people ask for it, there might be some Viktor/Nika fluff thrown in.
> 
> (Also, follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites.)


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So story time: I started writing this chapter and hated every single word that I wrote. I decided to hand write it from scratch. I've been trying to get it all typed up for several days, but I don't want to force the chapter. So I've split what I have into two chapters. The second half of this chapter will be up in a few days. This has just been so painful to write in between ten-hour work days and for other reasons.
> 
> Thankfully, my ten hour work days are coming to an end, which will free up a couple extra hours to write. So I apologize for the delay and enjoy your Viktor/Nika fluff for all its adorableness.
> 
> All one star warnings are mainly for anxiety, depression, warped perceptions.
> 
> (Also, this chapter is completely unedited. I couldn't make you guys wait any longer. You've all been so patient with me and I appreciate it.)

-*Present Day, Hospital*-

His chest clenched impossibly tighter. Air came in shallowly, nowhere near enough to fill his lungs fully. Each attempt to breathe added to the crushing weight on his torso.

The weight of rejection.

Yuuri knew the feeling well. He would never measure up to what people wanted from him. Their expectations a constant reminder of what he could never achieve. However, even that burden felt lighter compared to the crushing weight of being rejected by someone he had bonded with.

_Tick, tick._

He needed the bond to survive the lurking darkness that was waiting for the right moment to build an endless nightmare world. Yuuri knew that he wouldn’t survive if it got that opportunity. Which is why he had clung on to anything to take his mind away from the hurt and pain.

Yuuri refused to give in.

He couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

But Yura’s simple request had shattered the delicate safe area he had managed to carve out of the ruins of his life. He thought they would rebuild together—that they needed each other in order to survive. That had been their way of life for over two years. In the compound, they only had each other.

Now, Yura was moving on and leaving him behind. Yuuri had always known that the younger Alpha was stronger than him. He couldn’t just pick up the pieces and move on like the other had.

 _If you don’t sever the bond, you’ll be holding him back._  

He didn’t want to be the one to impede Yura’s recovery. If there was one thing Yuuri knew, it was that he couldn’t be that selfish. Giving up the bond was terrifying. Which is why he had shut down.

This was his lifeline. 

_Tick, tick._

He still needed protection even though they had escaped the compound. Without it, he would be vulnerable—open to be bonded with someone else. Someone he didn’t trust.

 _You’re with Viktor now_.

Even though he physically knew that he was safe with his fiancé, his mind hadn’t caught up yet. The last time he had considered himself safe, someone had taken him from the streets. It could happen again.

The results could be worse than the last time. He didn’t want to imagine a crueler experience than what he had lived through.

Yuuri continued to close himself off. Everything would hurt less if the real world didn’t exist right now. If he could only focus on himself, what he needed, then maybe he could breathe again—think rationally. 

He could sort through his thoughts and feelings without fear or rejection. Then maybe he’d be able to rationally explain exactly what he wanted.

This wasn’t just about the bond.

Yuuri also had to be able to tell Viktor what he wanted to do with the unborn child. How he wanted to keep the baby growing inside of him. There were several reasons as to why. None of which he wanted to fully explain.

Couldn’t.

_Tick, tick._

Not right now at least. He wanted to eventually tell Viktor everything. Honesty was an important aspect of their relationship he valued. However, telling his fiancé the truth would take him back to a time he desperately wished to forget.

Telling would make everything real and reality wasn’t kind.

Yuuri didn’t want to relive it again. His dreams were cruel enough. All of them ended differently, but the underlying fear of never being able to escape remained. On several nights, he was back in the compound, endlessly tortured and hurt by faceless persons.

He knew no matter what, he would never be able to escape the reality of what had happened to him over the years. However, he also had to try and salvage the remnants of his life. They had done their best to completely break him, but Yuuri had remained defiant. 

Able to survive because of the strength of Yura, Nika, and the thought that he would have Viktor as a source to rely on as well. With one less person, Yuuri was stuck. Just the mere mention of losing someone he could trust left him a barely functional and emotional mess.

_It’s no wonder Yura wants to end the bond with you._

There were other reasons, he rationally knew. Them being triggered by each other was concerning. He never wanted to be a cause for Yura’s suffering. However, he couldn’t let go. Not yet. Not when he was still unsure of how Viktor would truly react as he continued to reveal his past to his fiancé and would soon tell his intentions.

_Tick, tick._

A true test of their relationship. It was easy to promise support, but Yuuri was going to make one aspect real. Undeniable. He was afraid that everything Viktor had done so far was all for show. He was always expecting the last thing he revealed to be the tipping point.

It was only a matter of time before he found that point. Yuuri could hear the countdown.

_Tick, tick._

When he finally did go under, neither Viktor nor Yura would be there to rescue him. They would watch him sink. Struggle. Gasp for air. Then they would move on. He’d finally be out of their hair forever.

Yuuri would be left with his thoughts and nightmares that would gleefully hold him under for eternity.

He would never be able to escape. To fight. To save himself because they wouldn’t want him.

_You’re damaged. Broken. They don’t need you. Don’t want you._

The lies were back, conjuring harsher words than before. More believable now that he had seen the rejection take place. A smaller part of him knew this wasn’t true. But it was easier to listen to the lies as they grew louder, more frequent.

_Tick, tick._

The thoughts clawed at his haggard emotions, tugging at the open wounds little by little.

_You’re being selfish. Yura doesn’t want to be tied to you. He deserves better. You can help him have a better life if you weren’t forcing him to remain with you._

Each of Yuuri’s choices had their own life-changing consequences. Dealing with them would come later. The hardest part was trying to determine how to tell those he cared about the decisions he made.

 

-Yuri-

He could barely feel anything through the bond. His mind racing for a reason _why_ suddenly Yuri was cut off from the other person. Last time…

_It won’t be like last time._

But what if it was?

His heart pounded loudly in his ears and braced himself, anticipating the feel of excruciating pain.

_Nika. What about Nika?_

He brought a hand to where his own bond mark would go. Hoping the lack of feeling wasn’t what he thought, that new emotions would suddenly surge through. That Katsuki hadn’t tried again because of his words.

_What if he did?_

Guilt gripped at his heart.

_What did I do?_

Yet, another part taunted his guilt.

_You shouldn’t be act concerned now. You’re the one who wanted to end the bond. There’s a reason you asked for this._

Even though people might not agree with him, he knew that this was the best choice for him. Both of them. They couldn’t risk another incident like the one a few of days ago. 

It wasn’t fair to keep them tied together when they had both already gone through so much.

“Is something wrong?” Doctor Luski asked. Yuri had refused to see the doctor until today. Not for any reason other than he felt off. Wrong. Like he had triggered an unknown factor. 

He shook his head, dropping his hand to his side. “I’m fine,” Yuri grumbled. Yet, he didn’t know how to tell Doctor Luski what had happened. 

“Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about for this session?”

Yuri did and didn’t. He was a frustrating paradox, wanting to tell and too scared of the consequences.

“Not really.”

The doctor didn’t point out his obvious lie. The man was probably used to it by now.

“All right. I’ve spoken to your doctors here and they seem optimistic that you could leave the hospital soon. However, they’re concerned about your protective instincts. They’re not sure if you are triggered into a feral state. So far, they’ve been sedating you in effort to keep it from reaching that point, but that’s not a long-term solution.”

Him, go feral. The idea didn’t sit well. Weighed heavily. Yuri hated the burden he had to carry just because of his secondary gender. Barely settled into the idea of his presentation and he had

“So what do I have to do?” he asked.

“Can you talk me through what you remember right before the incident?”

“I don’t remember much,” he muttered. “Everything is a bit hazy.”

“What did you feel?”

“I felt afraid that both Nika and Katsuki were going to be attacked. I didn’t want them to get hurt even more. I thought I failed to keep them safe. No one should have to go to that place. But…I couldn’t protect both of them. I had to make a choice.”

He took in a shaky breath. The full weight that he had left Katsuki to fend for himself struck him suddenly.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I chose to protect Nika,” he answered. “I left Katsuki even though I know he’s not in any condition to fight for himself. He could’ve been taken back.”

“Do you think you should have made a different choice?” Yuri didn’t answer. “Who do you think Mister Katsuki would have asked you to protect?”

“Nika,” Yuri replied instantly. “Because Katsuki is strong. He would gladly endure more torture if he knew his son was safe. He’s that selfless. He doesn’t care what happens to him.”

“Do you still feel like you made the wrong decision in that moment?”

He shook his head. “I just...don’t want to have that fear all the time though. We’re supposed to be safe, but I don’t feel safe all the time.”

“What would make you feel safe?”

Yuri thought for a while.

_For those bastards to be caught. For places like that to not exist._

“I don’t think I’ll ever feel safe again,” he confessed. “I’ll always be looking over my shoulder, won’t trust people. But I know that I can’t stop living my life. I have to keep going, show them that what they did to me didn’t destroy me. That’s why I want to return to skating under Yakov.”

“That would mean returning to Saint Petersburg eventually. Have you talked to your coach about training again?”

“A little. He doesn’t want to push me, but it’s what I want.”

“How do you feel about your possible return to Saint Petersburg?”

“I don’t know. I try not to think about it much,” he answered.

“Here’s what I want you to do. The first, I want you to make a list of people you feel safe around or believe you can trust in any situation. Second, I want you to write down things that would make you feel more secure, especially since you plan to move to Saint Petersburg. Think you can manage that?”

He nodded.

“In the mean time, I’ll compile a list of doctors that you could see when you do move. While you’re here in Moscow, I am happy to continue your sessions after your discharge from the hospital. Have you thought about where you would go until you’re ready to return to Saint Petersburg?” 

“Yeah. I’ll stay with my grandpa if Yakov’s still here when I get out.”

“Is he one of the people you trust?”

“Yes.” 

“If he is available, I’d like to have a couple of sessions with him in order to talk about some of the ways to help you in case of a panic attack or flashback.”

“I’ll see what I can arrange. Yakov’s been keeping in contact with him. I don’t have a phone yet,” he muttered.

“Would having a phone help?”

“A lot of my friends live in different countries. I would want one.”

“I have a couple of things I’d want to discuss with Yakov regarding it, but I don’t see the harm in you having a phone again. Is there anything else that you want to talk about?”

He hesitated. “The bond,” Yuri said. 

“What about it?”

“I…think I would feel safer if I’m not worried about Katsuki all the time. I can feel his emotions and they can play into mine. I don’t want that anymore.”

Doctor Luski nodded at his words. “We’ll continue to discuss dissolving the bond. We’ll have to wait until after I meet with him. If he’s doing well, I’ll bring up the idea with him. But it may still take a while.” 

Yuri didn’t have the heart to tell the doctor that he had already brought up the topic with Katsuki. That he could barely feel anything right now.

He was alone suddenly. Left with nothing but his own thoughts and fears for once. His fingers went back to where his own mark would go.

Not being able to feel Katsuki’s emotions was more devastating than he ever knew.

 

-Present Day, Hotel-

Viktor threaded a hand through his hair, thinking back on everything that had happened during the past couple of days. His training had prevented him from spending time at the hospital.

The Federation had sent Yakov a strongly worded note about “Mister Nikiforov’s continuous disturbing pattern of negligence for his training.” Along with more creative ways to say he risked not only support from his sponsors, but the Federation itself if he continued to act in a way unbefitting of a highly accomplished individual such as himself.

And, “That Mister Nikiforov would be remiss if he did not correct this behavior before it was too late.” But his favorite line came toward the end, “While the Federation understands Mister Nikiforov’s desire to be close to a man he claims to be engaged to, the Federation may consider a new training facility and coach should Russia’s top skater continue to engage in destructive patterns.”

Not only had they threatened him and Yakov, but they had served him the ultimate insult. They had reduced his and Yuuri’s relationship to nothing more than a “claim.” Viktor wanted to send back a scathing message of his own.

  
Yakov, the blessed voice of reason during this chaotic time, had talked him out of it. So instead, he dedicated more time to the ice and training. His coach was pleased with the progress on his choreography. Viktor created the programs with Yuuri and Nika in mind. Being with them brought more joy to his life than he had ever thought possible.

Yet despite all the positive interactions so far, his last interaction with Yuuri had left him shaken. Every time he met with his fiancé, he felt underprepared for each conversation. The last one weighed the heaviest on his mind. 

The revelation of his fiancé carrying another child was just another twist in their lives. Viktor never planned to be a passive participant in the unfolding tale before him. However, despite the desire to be more involved, each piece Viktor discovered kept him on the sidelines.

A pattern that couldn’t continue. Not if he wanted to dispel any doubts Yuuri might have about his commitment. Viktor wanted to do more than just reassure his fiancé with his words. Anyone could make promises. He wanted to fulfill them. Prove his sincerity.

Help rewrite the narrative marred with tragedies and tears. Replace each horrific memory love and support, forged together.

It was a nice sentiment. One that came easily when Viktor was alone with his thoughts and difficult to execute because he couldn’t get inside Yuuri’s head. Not knowing what his partner thought during their conversations put him at a disadvantage.

Same went for not understanding the deep trauma his fiancé clearly experienced daily. Before, he considered himself a Yuuri expert. Now they were barely functioning together, letting circumstances dictate their lives instead of them controlling the problems. 

The rational side of him knew this was part of readjusting their lives. Both separately and together. He couldn’t rush it and everything would eventually work out. However, Viktor felt they were letting the circumstances get the best of them. While they could accept chaos, they needed a way to manage them.

Most importantly, they needed to talk about the child now growing inside his fiancé. Viktor had pledged his support and he wanted to provide that unwaveringly. His promise would be easier to uphold if he knew exactly what Yuuri wanted to do with the child.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

Viktor’s Alpha side was still seething over the news. Someone else’s child was growing inside his fiancé—his Omega. Not only was his Yuuri bonded to another Alpha, but carrying a child from another person. It was an insult. Yuuri was _his_. 

He frowned, hating the thoughts surfacing in his mind. Viktor never liked to refer to Yuuri as an Omega or possession. Their relationship was not defined or built on their secondary genders. He never saw the strongest person he knew and loved as inferior. They were equals.

Partners.

Together, they were stronger and better for each other because of the way they had built their relationship. Viktor hated being labeled as an Alpha. He had wanted someone to treat him as the person he was. That’s exactly what Yuuri had done. He returned the favor, knowing how much being seen only as an Omega weighed heavily on his fiancé.

That didn’t stop his secondary gender from creeping up every now and then. Here he was, trying to label them by Alpha and Omega when what matter the most was the individual.

_It would be easier without the child._

A setback—if that—really. He didn’t hate the baby, just the circumstances. Like everything with his fiancé’s disappearance, it came down to the stolen time and terrible memories Yuuri was forced to carry.

They may not have gotten a choice of what their story would look like for two years, but he was going to do his best to ensure Yuuri and Nika both got the happy ending they deserved.

“You look tired,” Yakov grunted, pulling Viktor out of his thoughts.

He hadn’t noticed the man enter the hotel room. “I’ll be fine,” he responded.

Yakov rolled his eyes—knowing how pointless a lecture about self care would be about now. The older male instead held up a bag. Aromas of spices filled Viktor’s nose. “At least eat before you pass out.” 

Viktor nodded and accepted a takeout container filled with his favorite food. They had barely begun to eat when Yakov decided to break the ice again.

“Everything still okay with your Yuuri?”

“For now, yes. “ He paused, realizing he never gave his coach a run down of what had happened at the incident a couple of days ago. They had pushed aside every bit of that conversation partially in avoidance and to refocus on training.

Viktor ate a little bit more before choosing to continue. “The doctors believe he experienced a flashback to his time missing where he was struggling to separate the past from reality. Yuuri was trying; he just couldn’t figure it out. They said more of these could happen and gave me some advice on how to handle the situations in the future.”

Talking about the situation out loud made it sound too simple. Almost as if every problem could be perfectly resolved and messy outcomes avoided in the future. Both of them knew exactly how screwed up the reality they were actually facing was. 

There was no perfect fix. No magical solution. No way for their lives to go back to what they were before. Some days would be worse than others. Viktor might not always be enough to handle the situation. Reactions would vary. Frequency of the nightmares could increase or decrease over time. The doctors simply didn’t know and couldn’t tell him. Couldn’t warn him of all the possible triggers. 

The thing that scared Viktor the most was the idea of the flashbacks and nightmares never going away. It hurt to think that even 20 years from now, his beloved could still be trapped in a dark prison. Forever shackled and burdened with the same pain he was experiencing now. Or live with the same paralyzing fear even in a time and place so far removed from the present.

The thought made his heart ache. Viktor wished there was a simple solution. No one should have to suffer as much as his amazingly strong fiancé. Despite all the challenges they would face, he also believed there would be good days to outshine all the bad ones.

Viktor realized he had let the conversation lull and decided to continue along the same topic. “What was your call about?”

“Yuri was in a state too. They were letting me know that they had to sedate him because he tried to attack the staff while protecting your son.”

He frowned. No one had mentioned that incident to him. “Protect Nika from what?”

Yakov shrugged. “Whatever he perceived as a threat. They mentioned he seemed to be struggling to discern reality. They didn’t want them to feed off each other, I guess.”

_The bond._

The Alpha side of him reacted angrily. Only a mild hint of his true feeling had leaked before Viktor regained control. Yakov said nothing about his negative energy. 

He couldn’t forget how his Yuuri and Yurio were tied together in a cruel way. They had forged the bond for good reasons, but now it seemed to be damaging each other.

_Maybe this will push them to dissolve the bond._

Viktor didn’t want to get his hopes up. He knew there were risks associated with ending a platonic bond. Yet, the Alpha side of him latched on the idea of his Yuuri finally being able to belong only to Viktor. He swallowed.

The Alpha side of him was harder to ignore at that lovely thought. He’d have to get his secondary gender under control before he went to visit Yuuri tomorrow. His fiancé already had enough to deal with. He didn’t need a jealous Alpha on top of everything.

If only keeping his Alpha side in check was easy.

 

-*Present Day, Hospital*-

In the distance, Yuuri could hear the cries from NIka. He wanted nothing more than to comfort his son, but that would mean facing the real world again. He wasn’t ready for that yet. Everything still hurt so much.

His thoughts kept wandering, making it impossible to focus on stopping the pain. 

His son cried louder, tugging at his heart. Yuuri knew he couldn’t abandon his child. He had responsibilities.

But he couldn’t force himself out of the shell he had created.

_You’re a useless parent, can’t even bother to comfort your child._

Yuuri winced at the harshness of his own thoughts. It was true. He always came up short when it came to protecting Nika.

From his son’s birth to now. He always selfishly put his own needs above his child’s.

_Viktor will leave you if he sees you like this. He’ll take Nika away from you because you can’t function like a normal person._

He could feel gentle tugs at his hospital clothes. More sobbing.

 _I’m sorry, Nika. I can’t be there for you right now._  

Garbled voices surrounded him. The people now in the room tried to get a reaction out of him. They needed to leave him alone. If he could just be left alone for a little bit longer, he could stop it all from hurting.

_You’re useless. No one will want a broken, pathetic thing like you._

 

-Viktor-

His mind was everywhere. Normally, Viktor would train early in the day and visit Yuuri in the afternoon. However, Yakov had business to take care of, which meant their sessions together was getting pushed back by several hours.

He decided to use the time to visit his fiancé since he wasn’t certain if he’d be able to come back in the evening. He tried to calm his thoughts, but the anticipation buzzing in his mind continued to rage on as he made his way the corridors of the hospital.

A walk that was becoming painfully familiar with no real answers as to when it would end. 

The idea of spending more time in training at the hospital had sunk in. Was he doing the right thing? Just keeping up appearances barely seemed worth it if Viktor was giving up time with his family. His career—or remnants of it—was still a popular topic for discussion.

Sensational headlines popped up every now and then along with a new photo of him leaving practice for the day. Reporters calling and harassing him in every way they could think of. Asking if he would sit down for an interview to talk about this season, talk about being reunited with Yuuri. 

He had steadfastly refused to do any interviews at this time, leading to speculation that he was holding a few secrets. Popular theories included that Yuuri hadn’t really been recovered as no one had sighted him outside any hospitals in the Moscow area.

Journalists were in a hunt, desperate to try and get any news about how Katsuki Yuuri was doing. Everyone remained tight-lipped about his fiancé’s condition. If Viktor didn’t believe they could keep their mouths shut, he didn’t tell them anything. Of course, he would eventually have to do press.

It was required for his job after all. The Federation was already pushing for him to let a select few reporters in on a practice so people could be reassured that he was actually working on programs for the next season.

They would be there too, of course, needing their own reassurances that he was upholding his part of the bargain as Russia’s hero. There was only so much he could put off.

Viktor sighed and shifted the gift he was holding on to. Another present for Nika.

He nodded at the nurse manning the desk where Yuuri was. She smiled back. He had called ahead, hoping to give enough of a warning so Yurio could leave the room if he chose.

His relationship with the younger teen would likely never go back to the same level as before. His careless actions had destroyed any shot he had at being a supportive figure to someone who was hurting just as much as his fiancé was. Viktor knew Yurio didn’t have many people to rely on.

He was one of the few. Right now, repairing the damage didn’t seem possible. Not with how he had lost control.

Viktor pushed into Yuuri’s room, noting the absence of Yurio’s scent. It was barely there, stale and fading rapidly. All he could smell was the distress of his son. His eyes immediately went to the two figures on the bed. Yuuri’s eyes were unfocused. Nika was pressed against him, tugging at the other’s clothing in a desperate attempt to get any kind of reaction.

“Yuuri,” he called. His fiancé didn’t answer—didn’t react to his voice. His son snapped at his voice though. Tears flowing down the child’s cheeks. Eyes puffy and red. A whimper escaped Nika’s lips.

He directed his attention toward his son. “What’s wrong, Nika?”

The child launched into an explanation. None of it discernable, but he listened and watched intently. All he could figure out was that something was wrong with Yuuri. That much was obvious. Viktor didn’t know how long his fiancé had been this way though and what had caused it. The unknown reason behind this new state was the most concerning.

He sat in the chair next to the bed, putting the gift down by the bed. He noticed that they were not in their usual positions. The nurses had told him Yurio slept on the bed with his fiancé, but there was no space for the teen to possibly do so.

_Did something happen between them again?_

If it was something major, he assumed the hospital would call both him and Yakov. No such conversation had taken place. This was something else entirely, but he couldn’t tell what and didn’t know if anyone had the answers.

Viktor placed the present at his feet. Nika’s eyes still focused on him until he adjusted himself in the chair. Then his son returned his attention to Yuuri.

“Nika, are you okay?” His son let out another whimper, tugging once again at Yuuri’s clothing before looking at him in desperation. Viktor opened his arms. “Do you want to snuggle papa?”

It took his son all of three seconds to crawl over to him. Viktor wrapped his arms around Nika, letting his son scent him.

“Do you want to see what papa brought you?” he asked once the child calmed down a little. Nika pulled away, looking back at Yuuri. The toddler pointed toward his fiancé, talking again. 

“I know, Nika. Yuuri’s going to be just fine though. He’s just taking a break.” Nika continued to talk while gesturing toward his fiancé. His heart clenched tightly in his chest seeing how concerned his son was. Viktor couldn’t do anything to help his beloved though.

It seemed he could barely comfort his son too. 

Nika wasn’t convinced by his words, that much was obvious. Viktor could only release comforting pheromones to soothe the toddler. A nurse walked in the room.

“Mister Nikiforov,” they greeted.

“How long has Yuuri been like this?”

“I’m not sure. The night shift said they heard Nika crying and went to check when the cries continued. Usually your fiancé is very responsive and takes care of him. Everything is normal. We think he’s having an off day.”

He nodded. This did nothing to alleviate his fears that something horrible had happened and he had missed it. Viktor hugged his son tighter. Nika slowly began to relax underneath his scent, melting into his shoulder.

Viktor was certain his heart was melting from how adorable his son was being.

Nika pulled away once again, tears gone.

“Now do you want to see what papa got you?” he asked. Nika gestured toward the gift. He smiled. “Okay.”

Viktor steadied his son and picked up the gift, offering it toward his son. Nika tore through the packaging. He had kept it simple, using tissue paper and a bag. Both were unfortunate victims of his child’s impatience. 

Nika pulled out a new book. This one about farm animals and all the sounds they made. Complete with animal noises to keep the child engaged. His son pressed a button, delighted at the sounds the book made. He proceeded to press the button repeatedly. 

Maybe this had been a mistake.

However, he isn’t given much of a chance to regret his decision completely as Nika is demanding he play along. Viktor happily obliges, knowing full well he will forever be a victim of his son’s charms.

Their time together is rudely interrupted by his phone going off. Both he and Nika are startled at the noise. He grimaced, knowing exactly who the ring tone belonged to.

“Hello,” he answered. Nika whined and tugged at the arm he was holding the phone is. Viktor switched arms, doing his best to pay attention to his son.

“Vitya, where are you?” the older man snarled over the phone. He glanced at the clock in the room and let out a heavy sigh. One p.m., he was over an hour late in meeting his coach.

“Sorry Yakov, I won’t be able to make it in today.” 

That was the wrong thing to say. “We’re supposed to be keeping up appearances. How can we do that if you leave practices early and don’t show up at all?”

He took in a deep breath, reminding himself that Yakov didn’t mean his words. His coach knew why. Viktor understood. He really did.

Especially after that horrific letter. 

“There’s something wrong with Yuuri,” he attempted to explain. 

“There always will be going forward, Vitya. I know you want to be with your family. Until you officially retire, you have obligations.” 

He knew that. 

Quitting now wasn’t an option. He was already playing with Yakov’s career. The Federation wasn’t going to be happy when he officially decided to retire. Hopefully by then they could figure out what they could offer in exchange for Viktor leaving the ice forever. It was temporary, but they were teetering on the edge.

“I know, Yakov. I’ll make it up, I promise.”

There was a pause. “Vitya,” Yakov began. The rest of what Yakov’s message got interrupted by Nika’s whine and babbling. His son was unhappy with being ignored. “Is that your son?”

“Yes,” he answered. “Yuuri can’t take care of him right now.”

A heavy sigh. Defeat. “Fine. One condition though.”

He hesitated. Usually Yakov’s conditions meant extra time training. However, Viktor didn’t really have a choice. “What is it?”

“Send me pictures of your son. I want to see if he’s as adorable as you say.” 

A smile spread over his lips. “Okay.”

He hung up. Nika looked up at him, talking and gesturing toward the book. “Just one moment and we can go back to the book, Nika.”

Viktor pulled up his phone app and aimed the camera toward him and Nika.

“Say hi to your grumpy grandpa, Nika!”

The child looked toward the camera and Viktor immediately took their photo. He sent the photo to Yakov along with several others he had taken from his previous visits.

Viktor noticed in the one he took with Nika, there was a small heart-shaped smile on his son’s face. Of all the moments he had captured so far, this picture was his favorite.

Nika talked to him and pushed more buttons on the book. He temporarily returned his attention to his son. A buzz came from his phone.

A text message from Yakov.

_Received: Hopefully he takes after your Yuuri’s personality._

_Sent: Yakov! I’m wounded! I was adorable as a child._

_Received: Demanding as I recall._

Nika chose that moment to get in his line of vision while pushing Viktor’s phone away. His son’s displeasure obvious. He laughed.

“Okay, okay. Papa won’t be on his phone anymore,” he said.

They resumed going through the book together. Nika had a fascination with the noises cows made for whatever reason and they spent the most time there.

His son was happily babbling, squealing in delight as he pressed the cow noise one more time. Suddenly, Nika froze. Viktor looked at Yuuri, thinking maybe there was change there.

But Yuuri’s eyes still held the same vacant expression as earlier.

Nika squirmed in his arms and eventually got out of his hold. Viktor watched his son bolt toward the door. He followed, not wanting to lose his son in the hospital.

But the toddler stopped just outside the doorframe, looking both directions. Confusion evident on his son’s face. Viktor took in a deep breath.

Yurio’s scent hung in the air. Powerful. The teenager was there only moments ago.

Nika turned back to him and looked up. Tears starting to fall again. Viktor scooped his son into his arms and led him back to where Yuuri was. The toddler pointed toward the hallway. 

They were back he started. Except this time, his son was upset because Yurio wasn’t there. 

Someone his son clearly loved very much. 

_We have to work out our differences for Nika’s sake._

Viktor would do anything for his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites for spoilers/updates.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished the second half of chapter 11. We finally see some open and honest communication from our boys. Thank you all for your kind reviews. I will respond to them when I'm a little less tired.
> 
> Also, this story will not update again until July 10th. I've got some personal matters to attend to over the weekend and into next week so I don't want to promise a chapter earlier than I can provide one. 
> 
> (this chapter is also completely unedited. I will fix it later)
> 
> Warnings: All one star warnings are for anxiety and warped perceptions. The first warning comes with a panic attack, but it's not super descriptive.

-*Yuuri*-

He vaguely heard the sound of his son laughing. Viktor’s scent was there too. Intermingled with Nika’s. His mind could picture the scene perfectly. The two of them sitting together happy, laughing, and free from the worries of the world. Unburned by the horrors they faced over the last couple of years.

Just them being together erasing all the pain inflicted over that time.

He could see them all together. Viktor’s hand gently holding his. Them snuggling in bed together with Nika in between them.

Their connected hands held over the sleeping form of their child. It was the life he always pictured in the compound to help push him through when everything else overwhelmed him. Yuuri desperately needed it to come true.

A familiar scent entered the mix. He recognized it instantly.

 _Yura_.

Yuuri blinked slowly, turning toward the direction of where it came from. New sounds of distress filled the air. Nika’s cries. Viktor was doing his best to comfort their son, but it had no affect. 

“Nika,” he whispered. His voice parched. Immediately, both their eyes were on him. Their son surged forward, worming his way out of Viktor’s arms in order to hug him.

Viktor kept a strong grip and lowered their son into Yuuri’s arms. Nika buried his face in his clothes. He rocked as the toddler continued to cry.

“I know, Nika. I know,” he whispered.

He noticed Viktor leave them for a moment and return with a glass of water. His fiancé offered him the drink. He accepted it, grateful. Once he finished drinking, Viktor took the cup.

“Do you need more?” his fiancé asked. 

“No, I’m okay.” 

Viktor put the glass on a nearby tray. “Can I hold your hand?”

Yuuri readjusted Nika, who was starting to calm down. He offered his hand to Viktor.

The contact was needed by both of them it seemed. Viktor idly stroked his hand, not saying anything else. Nika babbled for to Yuuri. He paid all his attention to their son, knowing that his fiancé was more than happy to wait his turn.

Their son finally stopped talking, choosing to press himself as close to Yuuri as possible. With Nika dozing off, he could now focus on the other person who needed his attention—Viktor.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized quietly.

Viktor frowned. “What are you apologizing for?” 

Yuuri took in a deep breath. “For not being able to take care of Nika.”

“He’s fine. He was just concerned about you.”

“It’s my job to take care of him though. I can’t disappear like that. Neither you or Yura were there. I abandoned him,” Yuuri confessed rapidly. “I’m a failure as a parent. As an Omega.” 

“Breathe.” 

The order was simple, but the action proved difficult. Yuuri struggled to take in several deep breaths. In, out.

He still couldn’t get enough oxygen to his lungs. 

“You should’ve seen how adorable Nika was earlier. He got jealous of my phone. I was texting Yakov some cute photos of our son. Nika wanted to continue playing with the new present I got him. It’s a book with animal sounds,” Viktor rambled. 

Distraction.

“Be prepared, he really likes the noises a cow makes. He pressed it at least a hundred times.” 

Viktor let out a laugh. The sound allowed Yuuri to relax just enough to breathe easier. His fiancé smiled in satisfaction. The way Viktor talked about their son made his heart long for this to be more permanent.

“Have you thought about our life after the hospital?” he asked quietly. 

“Yes,” Viktor answered.

“What does it look like to you?”

 

-Viktor-

Viktor knew this was an important conversation for them to have. So far, they had no timetable for Yuuri’s potential release. He bit his lip nervously, longing for their future to be there now.

“I want us to return to Saint Petersburg. I’ve got some final obligations to meet for the Federation.”

He watched as Yuuri processed the information. “Oh,” his fiancé breathed. “I didn’t know you were still skating this season.” Viktor heard the disappointment in Yuuri’s voice. He opened his mouth to tell him more. “I thought you’d want to spend more time with us.”

“I do,” Viktor assured. “I have a plan. My training is only temporary. However, it will continue in Saint Petersburg until just before assignments are announced.”

“That’s not very long from now. We don’t know if I’ll be released by then.”

“I’m sure you will,” Viktor said with a smile. “I’ll remain here as long as you are. I’m not going to abandon you two. Yakov and I are still working out the details though.”

“What about after you retire?”

He hadn’t really thought of much. All he wanted was to make up for lost time. “I just want to spend as much time with you and Nika as I can. I have plenty of money I’ve collected over the years. We’ll live off that until I can figure out what my next step will be.”

Yuuri nodded. “And my family?"

“We’ll go visit them, of course. When I retire, we’ll have all the time in the world to spend with them.” 

Viktor did not miss the way Yuuri’s eyes lowered to his stomach. “We’ll have to discuss flying with a doctor,” his fiancé whispered.

_The baby._

How could he forget?

He swallowed, mouth suddenly dry.

“You want to keep the baby then?” Viktor asked. 

Yuuri’s eyes went wide.

Panic once again settling in.

 

-*Yuuri*-

He couldn’t believe he had let that slip through. Yuuri hadn’t planned on telling Viktor in that way. Then again, nothing had gone according to his plans so far. 

“Yes.”

His choice had been made soon after he found out about the child. There hadn’t been much of a debate. Yuuri _knew_.

It was another selfish decision on his part. One that he had made entirely on his own. Not because he didn’t want Viktor to be part of the decision, but because he needed to do this for himself.

Yuuri waited for Viktor to say something. Anything.

Anxiety crept up again. Tugging at the frayed edges of his heart.

_Please understand, Viktor. Please don’t go back on your promise now. I need you._

“Okay,” Viktor breathed out. The word immediately sent anxiety away. His heart pounded loudly in his ear. Had he heard right? Was he imagining things? 

“What?” he asked again, not trusting what he had just heard.

“I promised you, didn’t I?” Viktor asked. “I said whatever you wanted, I’d support you. We’ll be a family together.”

Viktor flashed him a smile. He could see it was strained. Yuuri couldn’t tell why. Over the years, he had learned to spot his fiancé’s fake smiles. Something was wrong, but he decided not to press.

“Together,” Yuuri reiterated.

Viktor nodded. A heavy silence fell between them. Nika shifted against him. Yuuri let his thoughts wander before being reminded of why he had been drawn out of his retreat in the first place.

“Did Yura stop by here?”

 

-Viktor-

The sentence had slipped out of his fiancé’s mouth so casually caught Viktor off guard. He didn’t expect Yuuri to want to keep a child that was a product of his time away. Viktor didn’t understand the reasoning, but kept his mouth shut.

He had promised his support and would do anything to keep that promise. Hearing it confirmed stopped his thoughts though. Of course he knew all the things he _should_ say in order to appease his fiancé.

The words came easily. However, picturing how this altered his earlier vision of their life together made it difficult to accept. Viktor put on a smile though, hoping Yuuri wouldn’t see through it.

If he did, Yuuri didn’t say anything. Just wanted a reaffirmation of his last word.

 _Together._  

They were in this together, he had made that promise to himself over the past two years silently. That no matter what, Viktor would be there for Yuuri no matter what. That they would conquer everything in their path. 

Together.

He knew though that doing this together would be more difficult since they had two different pictures of their future in mind. His scenario had only included Yuuri and Nika.

Now there was another child in that life.

Viktor had several months to figure out a way to be okay with it.

He had to be okay with the change.

While he was still reeling from that blow, another one came. Yuuri asked him about another Alpha.

Not just any Alpha. The one his fiancé was bonded with. His secondary gender felt insulted, angry. He had to push that all aside though. Now wasn’t the time.

“I smelled him earlier. So did Nika,” Viktor answer. “But he didn’t visit you. He was just...outside the room.”

He didn’t miss the way Yuuri’s face fell. “I see.”

Viktor wanted to ask why, but didn’t trust himself right now. He had to get out of there.

“Will you be all right?” he asked. Viktor knew his fiancé wasn’t in the best state of mind. However, he wasn’t in the best state to stay.

Yuuri looked up at him. “I’ll be fine.”

His heart knew it was a lie, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Viktor needed to take care of himself before he did something he’d regret. 

“Is it okay if I leave?” 

“Of course, Viktor.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” Viktor promised. 

As he left, Viktor couldn’t help but feel as though they had barely made any progress despite everything. Yuuri had asked about Yurio for a reason. Hadn’t told him why he wanted to keep the baby. 

_You’re hiding something too._

 

-Yuri-

He hadn’t planned to end up back at Katsuki’s room. A force of habit, he rationalized. Yuri looked in the room briefly. Viktor’s scent heavy in the air. Nika was sitting in the lap of the older Alpha. They were the epitome of picture perfect. Sun coming through the window, causing Viktor’s hair to shimmer in the light. Nika looking up at his Alpha father in wonderment and awe.

They were perfect together.

His heart tightened. Viktor was everything he was not. While he knew that NIka wasn’t his child, seeing how easily the older male had settled into the role of father hurt. Viktor fit in seamlessly with Katsuki and Nika—edging him out. Easily replacing him.

It wasn’t even close.

Yuri tore his gaze away from the sight to take in a brief glance at Katsuki. The distant look in the Omega’s eyes did not go unnoticed. He wanted to yell and scream at Viktor that something was wrong.

But he didn’t.

Rationally, he knew that it’s probably why Viktor was watching Nika in the first place. They were likely waiting for Katsuki to snap out of whatever state this was. He didn’t even know.

_It’s not your problem anymore._

He noticed Nika’s eyes were pointed in his direction. 

 _Shit_.

He had lingered there too long. Yuri walked away. He couldn’t face the happy family. Not now.

He knew that an encounter with all three of them would eventually happen. Until then though, he would do his best to avoid it.

 

-Present Day, Rink-

Viktor took him to the only place that could help him sort out his thoughts right now. He needed to skate everything out right now. Evening was beginning to settle across the city. No reporters were outside the building.

Because the business was technically closed to the public. Yakov had managed to get a spare key for him so Viktor could train whenever he felt like. Of course, he was never one to really go against business hours.

Today was an exception. He needed to be out on the ice.

Viktor pulled his skates from the gym bag he always had in the rented vehicle. Before he put them on, he took a picture of them to post on social media. 

The caption was simple.

_“Late night practice. Blessed to be able to skate.”_

 He followed it with a couple of emojis and hashtags before tagging the Federation’s official account and ISU. He muted his notifications and pulled up his music.

Viktor pulled out his headphones and started his warm-up playlist as he started to get ready to go on the ice.

The first glide on the ice started to melt his problems away. He had needed this. A few laps around the rink and he decided to start with some easy past performances to continue to warm up.

 _I have to be okay with this child._  

He didn’t really see how it was possible. Rather, his Alpha side couldn’t. Viktor transitioned into a spin.

 _It’s what Yuuri wants_.

But Yuuri couldn’t even tell him _why_ it was important to keep the child. He didn’t want to push. Clearly, there was more to the story that he was missing. If he pressed, Viktor risked everything they had built together so far.

He started his step sequence—one that would eventually lead into a jump sequence. 

Yuuri couldn’t communicate fully though. 

_Neither can you._

He was burying his feelings. Keeping everything at bay and hoping that he was strong enough to not make the wrong move.

It was a risk he had to take right now. Yuuri couldn’t handle anything else. If he brought up his concerns, he’d only be a burden to his fiancé.

His strong Yuuri didn’t deserve to have any other problems right now. Viktor wanted them to move forward and forget about the past. If they could overcome what his fiancé was facing now, then everything would be better.

Except his true desires would always be looking and waiting for the opportunity to burst forward.

 

-Present Day, Yuri-

It was late. Yuri could hear each tick of the clock echo in the room. He sighed and rolled over, trying to concentrate on anything but that noise. Sleep continued to elude him.

Each second that passed by served as a constant reminder of just how much sleep he was not getting right now. Yuri gave up and decided to wander the hospital hallways. Not many people would be out, which would be perfectly fine. Made it easier to walk around the place without being scolded.

Earlier in the day, he had felt emotions coming through the bond again. It seemed that whatever state Katsuki was in had gone away. He supposed

His feet took him back to Katsuki’s room. He stood outside the door, peering inside. Almost all the lights in the room were off. Yuri couldn’t tell if the occupants were really asleep. He wasn’t going to risk being seen.

He turned around and took a step to walk away.

“Yura,” a soft voice called.

_Damn it._

He hadn’t been fast enough.

Yuri had two choices: continue walking or go into the room.

“Nika!” he heard.

_Shit._

He started to walk away from the room. If he didn’t, there was no telling what would happen. Yuri wasn’t ready for that conversation.

Soft cries echoed in the hallway. He froze instantly. Nika never played fair. Yuri glanced behind him.

The toddler had fallen down just outside the doorway. He was pointed toward Yuri, a hand outstretched.

He gritted his teeth and steeled himself for what would probably be a mistake. Yuri couldn’t leave Nika alone like that. Before he could think too much of the consequence, Yuri marched toward the toddler.

In a swift motion, he scooped the child into his arms. Nika nuzzled into his neck, breathing in his scent. Yuri hesitated before walking into the all too familiar hospital room.

Katsuki was trying to get out of bed. He had moved his IV lines and swung his legs over the edge of bed, but was heaving heavily. Yuri hurried to his side and brought a trash can over so the Omega could empty his guts.

Several minutes passed before Katsuki finished getting sick. After several deep breaths and a drink of water, the Omega finally took in the situation. Nika was still nuzzled firmly into his side. 

Yuri suspected the toddler wouldn’t let go any time soon.

“Yura,” Katsuki said shakily.

“Can you get back to your regular spot?” he asked.

The Omega nodded and slowly resumed his previous position. Yuri didn’t fail to notice that Katsuki had left enough room for him on the bed. He bit his lip before taking the chair next to the bed.

“Thank you,” Katsuki whispered.

He frowned. “For what?” 

“Coming back for Nika. I know you don’t want to see me right now.”

That’s right, he didn’t. However, there was nothing he could do about it now. Not with a child glued to his side.

“We need to talk,” Katsuki said firmly.

_I know._

“Can we do it later?” he asked. 

“No.” The word had an edge. He knew that Katsuki wouldn’t let him go until they sorted this out.

“Fine.”

Yuri adjusted Nika’s weight to be more evenly distributed between his arms. The toddler had a firm grip on his clothes, face still nuzzled against his neck. Even if Katsuki wasn’t adamant about working things out, Nika sure as hell wasn’t going to let him leave any time soon.

“I’m don’t want to sever the bond.”

The words felt like a punch in the gut.

“ _What_?”

 

-*Yuuri*-

Yuuri knew his decision wouldn’t go over well with Yura. If the initial reaction was anything to go by, they would be having a long discussion. 

“You can’t decide that on your own,” Yura hissed.

Defensive. 

He took in a deep breath. 

 _You can do this._  

“Not right now, at least.”

“Why? Didn’t you have the same talk I did? We trigger each other. It’s not healthy for us.”

Of course he had heard the same spiel. Yuuri knew this could lead to future incidents. Reassuring Yura that they’d be worth it was a tall order.

“It won’t be healthy for us to sever the bond right now either.”

The teen shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

“Yura, I know you don’t. It’s going to be hard for me to explain, but will you let me try without interruption?”

He watched the teen for his reaction. Yura tightened his grip on Nika, clearly mulling over his words. Yuuri waited. He couldn’t push too hard, but he had to explain.

“Fine,” Yura muttered eventually.

Yuuri took a deep breath to steady his nerves. He could get through this.

“I understand why you want to sever the bond. Your concerns are completely valid. If I were in your situation, I’d probably want the same thing,” he began. 

Hopefully he could reassure the young Alpha that Yuuri was taking him seriously as a person.

“You have every right to feel the way you do regarding our unique situation. Like everything these past two years, it’s more complicated than keeping a bond open or closing it. I know your solution to things you view as a problem or concern is just to get it over and done with. 

“That method has worked well for you in the past, but we’re different now. So much has changed—not just in our relationship as friends, but as individuals as well. We can’t continue to do things the way we did before. It doesn’t work right now.

“Eventually, we may be able to get back to that point, but right now we need to handle the problems as we are now. I’m not going to tell you what I think you’re feeling. I am going to tell you what I am feeling and why I don’t want to sever the bond right now. First, I want you to know that I’m not going to say “no” forever. I know we need to work toward being more independent from each other.

“We’re not there yet. It will take time. I don’t know how to function without you in my life. It feels like you’re trying to rip away one of my foundations—one of the things that have helped me get through some of the hardest moments of my life. I can’t imagine not having you in my life in some way because you’ve been there for me. I wouldn’t have made it without our bond or your strength while we were in that horrible place. 

“You’re not going to stop being part of my life now that Viktor is in the picture. I don’t want that, can’t see it happening. You’re too important to me and Nika. Yes, Viktor gives me strength too and can help me in my bad moments as well, but that will never take away or replace what you have done and what you still do for me. Every relationship I have right now is complicated and jumbled.

“All I know is that I need you just as much as I need Viktor. I’m just as lost as you are when it comes to your role in our future, but I want you there. I want to support you too throughout recovery. I’m afraid that if we sever the bond, you’ll continue to push away and not accept the help I know you need. I don’t want you to disappear, Yura.

“I’m sorry if you think I’m selfish for holding on to the bond for right now, but I feel that it’s needed now more than before. Back then, the bond served as protection for me. Right now, the bond is my lifeline when everything gets too much.”

Yuuri took in a deep breath and waited for Yura to process his words. He hoped that he had expressed himself clearly enough.

The sharp claws of anxiety started tugging at his frayed edges. He knew Yura needed time, but every second that passed by seemed to be nothing but fuel for the destructive force inside his mind.

He let out a heavy sigh at the same time as Yura.

“I understand your position,” the teen muttered softly.

 

-Yuri-

He had listened to every word Katsuki said and knew this discussion went beyond how he usually handled the world. Everything back seemed so clear, but now…

Yuri couldn’t say he knew exactly where the lines stopped blurring. The words made sense, but it didn’t feel like action. He wanted to take steps forward in his recovery. Being tied to Katsuki was something that remained stagnant or set him back.

“I understand your position,” he acknowledged. Yuri appreciated that Katsuki hadn’t tried to fill in his feelings and validated his opinion. The least he could do was the same. “I just want to move forward from everything. Life was so horrible that I don’t want to stay stuck in the past.

“I feel like if we remained bonded, I’m not going to recover. I want to go back to my old life as much as possible. I can’t do that while tied to you. Though…I honestly don’t know if I could Nika…

 _And you,_ he wanted to add, but couldn’t.

“…behind completely. It’s just…Viktor.”

He left it hanging on purpose.

“I know, Yura. That’s something we’ll have to figure out. Even if we do close the bond and I’m with Viktor, I’m not going to keep him from you. I’ll find a way to make it work.”

“Even if it means Viktor isn’t happy?”

“Viktor doesn’t get to choose who we need in our lives. He can have an opinion, but I know that Nika needs you to be near him at times. Nika…suffered a lot too and if we change too much, it might hurt his development further.”

“He seems to be doing just fine,” Yuri commented.

“Only because he’s had both you and Viktor,” Katsuki countered. A small smile graced the Omega’s lips. “Besides, you can’t tell me that you don’t love Nika.”

Yuri rolled his eyes. “He’s all right for a kid.”

Katsuki’s smile didn’t leave his face. The conversation wasn’t complete by any measure.

“You promise we can talk about the possibility of closing the bond in the future?”

“Yes,” Katsuki said. “I don’t have a timeline for you right now, but we’ll continue talking about it. No more running away from it. We have to face this problem head on from now on. It’s still okay to need space, but we can’t brush it aside.”

Yuri nodded. “What about if…if we get triggered?”

“Then we’ll reassess if the bond is needed or if we’re doing more harm than good. Does that sound fair?” 

“Okay,” he agreed.

There was a brief silence.

“Do you want to stay in your room or will you stay here?”

Yuri knew the weight of the request. He took in a deep breath.

“I’ll stay here.”

He crawled into the empty spot by Katsuki’s side. Nika laid happily between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled a lot with some of the wording in this chapter. I think I rewrote all the dialogue at least twice. But I'm so happy that Yuri/Yuuri were able to communicate honestly with each other. It doesn't fix everything 100%, but it's a positive step forward.
> 
> As always, you can find me on Twitter @LadyMWrites.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I gave a really specific date last chapter about when this update would come. It was for a reason. I love sharing my writing on today specifically because it's my birthday. Thank you to everyone who has supported me and commented. I appreciate it so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Trigger Warnings:
> 
> One star warning for anxiety and depression. Nothing too descriptive, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.  
> Three star warning for a scene dealing with rape/sexual assault. Vague descriptions, but it's given the rating because of the subject it's dealing with. As usual, a bunch of stars where it's safe to read again and a summary will be provided at the bottom of the chapter.

-*Present Day, Hospital*-

 _Viktor broke his promise_.

His fiancé hadn’t stopped by the hospital like he said. Yuuri tried so hard not to let it bother him, but couldn’t prevent himself from thinking about it.

_Will he come? Did he forget?_

When the nurse stopped by their room to help him walk around, he pushed himself hard just so thoughts of Viktor wouldn’t come to his mind. Each step required intense concentration. The nurse forced him to stop when he started losing his balance more than usual. They praised him for the progress he was making, but Yuuri knew that he still had a long ways to go.

The morning dragged on, leaving plenty of time for him to think about Viktor’s absence. Yura did his best to distract him, but quickly grew restless. Yuuri already felt guilty for their discussion the night before and told the teen to wander around. He wouldn’t confine the younger Alpha. That wasn’t his intention. Nika was restless too, nuzzling the stuffed poodle as much as possible, whining when the scent began to fade away. 

In the afternoon, he held out hope that Viktor would come. His fiancé hadn’t even stopped by to take Nika while he had his therapy session for the day.

He would dismiss the action as Viktor practicing, but then Yakov had stopped by to see Yura saying they had wrapped for the day. Yuuri tried to keep himself distracted.

_He has obligations. He can’t be here all the time._

However, he needed Viktor to be there for him. They had much more to talk about. Needed time to spend together as a family.

Yura could tell something was bothering him throughout the day, but hadn’t asked what. Having the young Alpha there honestly kept him from dropping into another depressive state. He could feel it coming though. Inching closer than he would’ve liked.

Yuuri didn’t know what he could do about it.

_You’re stronger than this. You went two years without him by your side. One day isn’t going to hurt you._

Except one day turned into two.

Yuuri tried his best not to let the second day bother him more than the first. He even let Nika push the buttons on his farm animal book more times than necessary just to keep himself grounded. Yura irritably put the button mashing to an end, citing his eardrums needed to hear things other than the crows of a rooster.

The teen left them alone for a few minutes and Nika had the book back in his hands because Yuuri couldn’t stand to hear his own thoughts. They were dangerous and becoming louder.

Yura walked in the room and cringed. “Is it okay if Yakov comes to the room today?” Yura shouted over the sounds of farm animals.

He sucked in a breath, not fully trusting the older man. They had barely gotten to know each other when everything happened.

_You can get answers though._

“I don’t want to leave you alone. I know something’s wrong with you even if you won’t talk about it. I’d rather be here than miss something.”

He sighed. “Just for a little bit.”

When Yakov showed up at the hospital room to see Yura, he immediately regretted the decision to let the older man into their space. Something about the way the coach looked at him felt wrong, _off_.

Yuuri sucked in a deep breath, ignoring all the warnings in his head telling him that Yakov wasn’t safe. The coach eyed his son. Every instinct screamed at him to protect Nika. He visibly put himself in front of the toddler, watching the older male sternly.

Yura eyed him cautiously. “We’ll get out of your hair, Katsuki.”

“Wait,” he said. They both looked at him. “How is Viktor?” 

The older male’s eyes widened. “You mean, he didn’t come by yesterday?” Yakov asked. He shook his head.

“He told me he went to visit you. He didn’t come back until late so I thought you two…” The older man muttered something in Russian before returning his intense gaze toward them.

Yuuri made sure to keep Nika out of view.

_Don’t panic._

“Sorry for bringing it up. Enjoy your visit,” Yuuri said. He wanted to get the older man out of there as soon as possible.

Yakov walked out of the room without another word. He let out a sigh of relief. Yuuri couldn’t explain why he had reacted that way.

Yura turned to glance at him. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Y-yeah,” he stammered. The other studied him. He felt the need to warn the other. “Yura?”

“What?”

“Watch yourself around him.”

The younger Alpha rolled his eyes. “You’re just paranoid. I’ll be fine.” 

His Omega side didn’t appreciate being dismissed. He just wanted to protect Yura.

“Just promise me?”

“I’ll be fine, Katsuki.” The young Alpha walked out of the room before he could say anything else, leaving him along nothing but confused thoughts.

 

-Yuri-

He walked to the cafeteria with Yakov. He didn’t know why Katsuki had such a strong reaction to the older male. Didn’t care. Yuri felt perfectly safe around the other, that’s all that mattered.

Just because Katsuki was a paranoid mess, didn’t mean he had to be. 

“You okay, Yuri?” Yakov asked. He turned his attention to the older male. 

“Fine,” he muttered. “Viktor better start visiting again. I don’t know how long Katsuki is going to hold up if he doesn’t see his fiancé soon.”

He had an idea of what would happen. None of the scenarios would end pleasantly.

“I’ll talk to him and see what I can do.” 

They fell into silence. Yuri did he best not to think about Katsuki, but the Omega was constantly on his mind.

_Just the perks of still being bonded._

He didn’t know why he agreed to keep the bond. He understood Katsuki’s point of view, Yuri just felt he didn’t fight for his hard enough. However, he had a feeling they would be on another collision path soon.

The same panicked feelings were already lurking. He could feel them surface every once in a while. Yuri was waiting for them to burst through again.

Yakov broke the silence. “I heard from your grandpa. He says he can meet Friday this week. Is that all right?”

A smile fell upon his lips. “Of course. We’ll have to meet down here though. I don’t think Katsuki would want us in his room again.”

“He won’t care the location, just as long as he gets to see you again.”

Yuri was looking forward to Friday.

If all hell didn’t break loose before then.

 

-Present Day, Rink-

Viktor ran through his programs for what felt like the millionth time. He didn’t stop in between each one, letting the song transition into the next. When his free skate music came to an end, he panted heavily and skated to the edge of the rink.

He took in several sips from his water bottle. The transitions weren’t right, his body unsure of how best to express the joy he felt at having his family back in his life. Not to mention, he had touched down on two of his jumps.

Sloppy. Inexcusable. 

_I’m better than this._

“You’re going to hurt yourself, Vitya.”

He jumped at the gruff voice and turned to see Yakov not too far away from him. The rink had long since closed, but he stayed and promised to lock up.

“I’m fine. I need to get these programs down.” 

“You’re pushing yourself too hard.”

“I’m behind,” he snapped. “I have to push or else I won’t be ready for the season.”

“You’re not skating this season,” Yakov reminded him. He froze.

_That’s right. You’re going to retire and spend time with Yuuri and Nika._

And a child yet to be born.

“Are you having second thoughts about retiring?”

Viktor took in a deep breath, steadying his airflow. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“You think skating yourself to death is going to help you figure it out?” Yakov scoffed. He frowned. “I’ll support you either way, but I’d rather we talk about it before any final decision is made.”

Viktor didn’t want to talk. Had avoided talking about things. It’s why he hadn’t gone to the hospital. Why he snuck back to the rink hours after Yakov would leave. Avoided going to his appointments for therapy.

“I’m going to go through the programs one more time,” he announced.

“Don’t you dare, Vitya!” Yakov shouted. “Stop being avoiding everything because the last conversation you had with your Yuuri didn’t go like you wanted.”

He froze. “How did you know?” Viktor whispered. 

“You’re not hard to figure out. Only a handful of things affect you so much. Now get your ass off the ice and let’s talk things through.”

He thought about going against Yakov’s wishes, but the small break had allowed him to feel just how exhausted he really was. Viktor did as asked for once in his life. He showered and changed into clean clothes. 

They sat in the empty seats of the rink as he packed everything up. 

“What happened between you and your Yuuri?” Yakov asked. He sighed.

“Nothing.”

“That’s why you haven’t gone to visit him in two days?”

“How did you know?” 

“I went to see Yuri. Katsuki is miserable without you.”

“Fine,” he muttered. “I can’t be around him right now.”

“Why not?”

Viktor bit his lip. “This can’t get out to anyone.” 

“I’m not going to tell,” Yakov said. “You know that, Vitya.” 

“Yuuri…is carrying another child.” Yakov didn’t say anything so he continued. “He wants to keep it even though it’s part of his time in that _hellhole_. I’m trying to be supportive, but I can’t control my Alpha side around him right now. If I tell him what I’m feeling…it will devastate him.”

“What are you feeling?”

He sighed. “Our lives are already complicated enough. He was missing for two years and now has to try and rebuild his life again from scratch. It’s bad enough that he’s plagued with nightmares, memories, and other physical reminders of what happened. Having a child will be another thing to tie us to the past.”

“You’ll always be tied to the past, Vitya. His nightmares, scars, memories will never go away no matter what you do. You can’t choose which mementos your Yuuri can keep and which ones he can’t. Did he give you a reason for why he wanted to keep the child?”

Viktor shook his head. “We didn’t get a chance to discuss it.” 

Yakov sighed. “You have to find out why, Vitya. You will never be okay until you find out that reason.”

He knew Yakov was right. Part of him was afraid to hear the reason though.

Not knowing allowed him the freedom to be ambivalent. Those days had to come to an end or else his relationship with Yuuri would never survive. 

“Take tomorrow off,” Yakov grumbled. 

“What about keeping up appearances?”

The older male scoffed. “I think the Federation will be happy you’re taking practice seriously and won’t mind a rest day given all the extra hours you’ve put in. I doubt you’ll want to go to practice tomorrow anyway. Besides, your transitions and jumps will look better once you clear the air between you and your fiancé.”

 

-***Two Years Ago, Unknown***-

The test of his obedience skills dragged on forever, he noticed. Far past the usual time a “client” usually had with him. The unease he felt earlier continued to increase with each new command. Something was wrong.

_They’re waiting._

He knew they were hoping he’d mess up, tell them no. Honestly, a few times he wanted to tell them to stop because he was uncomfortable or couldn’t get into the position easily. His rounded stomach made everything more difficult.

Yuuri did his best, trying not to display the underlying panic bubbling in his mind. No need to freak out right now. They hadn’t done anything he couldn’t do so far.

Except they weren’t gentle in their treatment with him. However, he didn’t complain about his body being used and touched in ways he didn’t want. The one in charge especially. Every time that man laid a finger on him, it burned on his skin. He could feel it longer than the other two’s combined. 

Something about him set every instinct within him off. 

All he wanted to do was get away from the man. It took every ounce of his strength to let the other man satisfy himself by using Yuuri. Everything hurt at this point. His legs, back, stomach.

_It’s never going to end._

The realization sank heavily in his stomach. Combined with the feeling of a man he hated inside him, nausea came swiftly.

“Stop,” he said. His stomach churned violently. The man ignored him. “Stop!” 

This time, Yuuri received a smack for his request. His stomach protested violently. The man didn’t stop, but continued his painful pace. Every thrust upsetting the very delicate balance of fluids in his belly. 

“Stop!” Yuuri protested again. This time, he pushed the man away from him and ran toward the bathroom to empty what little was left in his stomach. He continued to heave violently for several minutes.

All of his energy went into making sure he wouldn’t throw up again. His body trembled, threatening to collapse on him. Yuuri shifted to sit down, arm keep his head supported near the toilet as the nausea continued to roll through him.

Reprieve didn’t exist in his world.

A pair of hands gripped his hair tightly and pulled him away from the bathroom. He yelped and tried to get away, but he was still exhausted. Another of wave of nausea threatening to overwhelm him.

The man who had started everything yanked his head upward. A twisted smirk making his features look sinister. Yuuri shivered looking at the dark eyes.

“You know why no one come for hours?” the man asked. His stomach churned again, the suspicions he had earlier rising to the surface of his mind. “We sent to train you. Break you. You did better than expected.”

_But not good enough._

The man’s free hand traveled down and rested on his swollen stomach. Yuuri jerked his body away from the touch.

Another wrong move.

Anger flashed in the dark eyes staring at him. “You can’t protect your pup by denying what I want.”

The man stroked his stomach again. Every instinct screamed to get away from the man, but Yuuri forced himself to stay still out of fear what would happened if he tried to resist again.

Not just for him. 

For his child.

 *********

-Present Day, Hospital-

 

Yuri took in a deep breath before entering the hospital room. He could smell the distress from Katsuki from down the hall. Their night would be rough if they didn’t at least talk through some of the Omega’s fears before trying to sleep. He stepped inside. Nika noticed him instantly and brightened at his return.

The toddler babbled at him while he approached. “What happened next?” he asked, spurring the child further into conversation. Katsuki watched the interaction in amusement. Nika grew more animated with each nonsensical word.

He slipped into the bed beside Katsuki and Nika immediately crawled to get in his lap. The toddler was holding on to the stuffed poodle. Viktor’s scent had faded from the toy, replaced with the child’s own.

That didn’t stop the child from carrying it around.

Nika gestured to Katsuki for whatever part of the story he was on. Yuri thought for certain the child would run out of air. That didn’t happen, but he was impressed at how long Nika could talk without a breath. The toddler finished speaking and looked at him expectantly.

Not sure what Nika wanted from him, he ruffled the child’s hair. Nika squealed in delight before settling against his neck, scenting him. 

“He missed you,” Katsuki whispered.

“I couldn’t tell,” he answered sarcastically.

“He’s been restless today. I’m hoping he’ll sleep well tonight, but I’m not encouraged. You also missed the marathon of the ducks quacking.”

 _Thank god._  

Yuri rubbed the child’s back. “It’s probably because you’re on edge,” he said before he could stop himself. Katsuki stiffened next to him. “Shit, I’m sorry. It’s just…you’re bothered by something and I wanted to talk about it before it got worse.” 

Katsuki remained silent at his words. He tried to feel for some form of a reaction in the bond, but only came away with the usual emotions. Yuri waited, releasing calming pheromones so at least Nika would drop off to sleep for the night.

If they helped Katsuki too, then maybe they could have a shot at having a productive conversation. The toddler’s breathing evened out, but Nika’s grip on his clothing didn’t easy. Just a little longer then.

The minutes ticked by before he felt the child let go of his clothes, completely content and out. Yuri tucked the toddler into bed between him and Katsuki. Nika curled into the Omega’s side.

“Katsuki,” he said quietly. The Omega jerked in reaction and focused on him.

“Sorry,” the other apologized. He recognized all the signs of a submissive Omega. Head down, neck exposed.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

The other chewed his bottom lip, wanting to say something. He watched and waited.

Did he screw this up?

Yuri knew Katsuki felt more anxiety when it came to Nika than anything else. He never fully understood why. Never asked either. But he knew just how deeply the Omega hurt over the child.

He pushed the memories to the side, not wanting to relieve a terrible night. Right now, he needed to make sure Katsuki was okay. Or good enough to not completely break down.

“Katsuki,” he tried again. “Talk to me.”

“About what?” 

“Anything,” he answered.

The Omega remained silent. He didn’t know what else to do to get the other to open up. Pressing for conversation would make the older male retreat further. However, he needed some reassurance that things would be all right.

“Viktor broke his promise, Yura.” He hadn’t expected that of all things. Instead of pressing, he waited for the other to continue speaking. “Viktor promised me he’d visit the next day. He didn’t show up. How am I supposed to trust him if he doesn’t keep his promises? How am I supposed to believe what he says if he doesn’t stay true to his word?”

Oh, _shit_.

He shouldn’t have asked. Yuri was not qualified to handle this level of hurt. He heard every strain in Katsuki’s voice. The struggle not to break down again. The fight not to believe all the lies his mind was probably telling him. Weary. Exhausted. Beaten down. 

“Katsuki,” he whispered. This wasn’t a time to baby the Omega though. Katsuki didn’t want more empty promises that things would be all right. Everything would be fine. 

Because it wasn’t.

Everything rode on his next words. The right ones and he could hopefully put some of the fears at ease. The wrong ones and he could send Katsuki into another miserable spiral.

“Viktor hasn’t abandoned you,” he began slowly. His eyes focused on the Omega for any reaction to his words. “I bet he had every intention of being back here the next day. Sometimes he needs a break too. He’s hurting just as much as you.”

Katsuki met his gaze. “He’s hurting too,” he repeated. Yuri nodded.

“He needs time to process as well. I know you want him here and I’m sure he wants nothing more than to be here all the time. He just can’t.”

Yuri didn’t know if he was telling the truth or not. However, Viktor’s own battle with depression was something Katsuki could relate to. Could forgive.

_Don’t have a selfish reason, Nikiforov._

“He’ll be back soon though,” Katsuki whispered.

“Yeah,” he reassured. “Viktor would never abandon you.”

_Don’t make me a liar again._

 

-Next Day, Hospital-

Viktor honestly would have stayed away for at least another day. However, he knew prolonging the inevitable would make things worse between them. Plus staying away from both his fiancé and son was out of the question. Especially Nika.

He needed to see the child again and hold him in his arms.

So he found his way to the hospital again after doing brief press outside the hotel. Viktor told reporters that he was still training and had put in extra time to practice. He had no comment about Yuuri’s condition and absolutely refused to reveal which hospital his beloved was at. He barely placated them by saying they were focusing on his fiancé’s recovery and had yet to discuss what information could be released at this time.

If word got out…

He didn’t want to imagine dealing with them camped outside this place as well. The hospital was a place he could escape to when he needed to ground himself. Except anxiousness rattled through his body, making him more unsettled than normal.

Viktor didn’t know what he’d be walking into today. The receptionist didn’t have any helpful updates about his Yuuri’s condition. So he’d walk in there blind and hope that his actions hadn’t triggered another terrible episode.

As he got closer, Yurio’s scent mixed with his that of his son and Nika’s. Much different from last time. He wondered what happened between the two of them.

_It’s not your business._

He had other things to discuss.

When he reached the room, he expected to find Yurio in the room, but he wasn’t present. The smell was still there, which told him the teen hadn’t been gone long. Yuuri and Nika both turned toward him. Staring.

Viktor took in a deep breath.

The toddler scrambled out of his fiancé’s arms and ran toward him. Stuffed poodle in hand. Nika couldn’t decide if he should talk or squeal in delight. Their son was attempting both, which made his usual babbles even more impossible to understand. 

He scooped the child in his arms and let Nika scent him. Viktor didn’t realize how much tension he was carrying until he got to hold his son. The muscles ached unpleasantly, but grateful to no longer be so stiff. 

“Viktor,” Yuuri finally said in greeting. “You came back.”

Those three words carried so much weight with them. Had Yuuri honestly thought he’d been abandoned?

“I will always come back,” he responded.

Yuuri frowned. “But you…promised you’d be back earlier.”

He winced, hoping this wouldn’t become a bigger problem between them. Yuuri needed reassurance. “I know. I was wrong to promise that. I wanted to be back here earlier, I just couldn’t.” 

_Please don’t press._

He expected there to be a follow up question. But it never came. Instead, Yuuri merely nodded.

“You’ve had to process a lot,” his fiancé concluded. “I never ask if you’re all right. Every time we talk, it’s never perfect. There’s always something that comes up.” Yuuri gave a weak chuckle at the last statement.

Viktor couldn’t disagree with any of those words. So far, they didn’t have a great track record in terms of conversations.

“Everything will be all right though,” he reassured. “The most important thing is that we’re communicating.”

_Not effectively though._

Nika shoved a blurry object in Viktor’s face suddenly. He leaned his head back to get a better look at the item. The stuffed poodle. He scrunched his face in confusion. The toddler kept pushing it toward him and gesturing at his neck. It took a moment.

“It doesn’t smell like papa anymore,” he concluded. Nika seemed to understand and nodded. He took the toy of his son’s hands and scented it heavily before giving it back. His son pressed the toy to his nose before smiling. “Did papa make it better?”

The toddler nodded and went back to nuzzling his neck. 

“He really likes you being here,” Yuuri commented. “The past two days, he would watch the door, waiting for you to come in.”

“I’m sorry papa couldn’t be here,” he muttered to Nika. The toddler mumbled something in response. Viktor smiled. “I can’t wait until we’re home together.”

He continued to snuggle his son, content to be able to hold him once again.

“I can’t wait until we’re home together either, Viktor.”

He looked up at his fiancé who had the gentlest smile on his face. The smile of an angel. 

_I have the feeling I’m going to destroy that smile when we finally talk about what I want to._

 

-Yuuri-

He couldn’t help but be content at the sight in front of him. For the first time since being reunited, Yuuri truly believed in their future. The way Viktor took care of Nika spoke volumes. 

_It doesn’t make up for him breaking his promise._

Nika settled down in Viktor’s lap after a while. He bit his lip, trying to hold on to the moment for as long as possible.

But this was important.

“Viktor,” he whispered. His fiancé immediately gave him his attention.

“What is it, love?”

Yuuri shifted under Viktor’s gaze.

_Don’t be afraid to tell him what you need._

He sucked in a deep breath and dropped his gaze to the bed. “I know there will be days when you can’t come to the hospital and that’s fine,” Yuuri began. He gripped the hospital blanket tightly. “I understand that and don’t want you to feel like you have to spend all your spare time here. I know how hard training can be.”

Yuuri looked up so Viktor could hopefully understand how much he needed what he was about to say.

“I just don’t want you to promise that you’ll be there and then not show up. If you’re not certain if you can make it, I’d rather not get my hopes up. I’m having a hard time trusting people and that, unfortunately, also includes you. I don’t want any reason to distrust you. And I know that you will always make it up, but I need people to stand by their words right now.”

Viktor didn’t say anything for a moment. He felt his heart pounding in his chest. Anxiety once again ready to tug at each frayed end and dig a little deeper if his fiancé didn’t truly understand what he needed.

_Please understand._

“I had no idea I was causing you to distrust me,” Viktor finally said. “I don’t want to ever give you a reason to doubt me or my words. I’m sorry. I can’t possibly make up for my past actions, but I will do better in the future.”

“That’s all I’m asking.”

“I really appreciate you telling me and being honest, Yuuri. I know it hasn’t been easy to open up. Thank you for still trusting me enough to tell me this.”

He let out a sigh of relief. Viktor understood and was going to do better.

_Everything is going to be all right._

 

-Viktor-

Hearing that Yuuri was losing his trust in him stung. Technically he deserved more anger and frustration, but his fiancé didn’t blame him.

Yuuri never failed to surprise him with his strength and understanding.

Viktor decided that since Yuuri was being honest, he would attempt to get the truth. However, he needed to be delicate with his wording.

“Yuuri?” he asked, breaking the silence between them. 

“Yes?”

“I have something I want to ask you,” he said hesitantly.

“You can ask me anything.” It was an open invitation, but the unspoken “I might not answer” hung in the air. Viktor wouldn’t press. He didn’t want to trigger Yuuri, but still needed his fiancé to open up to him a little more.

“You know I love and support you, right?” Yuuri nodded. “You don’t have to answer my question if you’re not able, but I have to ask it.”

“Viktor,” Yuuri began. “You shouldn't be so afraid to ask a question. I may not give you an answer right away, but I promise that I will tell you when I’m able, okay?”

He nodded. That didn’t exactly reassure him, but he had to try. Viktor needed to understand.

“Is there a reason you want to keep the baby?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Three Star Warning Summary***  
> A continuation of "training" for Yuuri in the compound. Yuuri notices that more time has passed than usual for people to visit him. Something is wrong. He does everything he can to obey, but messes up due to feeling ill. This leads to them telling him that they were sent there to train him, break him. (Continuation of how Nika came into this world)  
> ******
> 
> As always, follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites to see teases, hints, and find out when the next update may be headed to a computer screen near you.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel awful. I never meant to leave you guys on such an awful cliffhanger for so long. However, I had a really bad breakdown and it's taken me some time to sort of piece together a functional self. Things won't be completely fine until next month so please bear with me. I appreciate every birthday wish and check-in from people.
> 
> Two star warning for depression, warped perceptions, mentions of physical violence. This scene is a continuation of how Nika came to the world. They're continuing to "train" Yuuri.
> 
> One star warnings for mentions of abortion, children's lost children, anxiety, depression, and warped perceptions.
> 
> General warning? This chapter has anxiety, depression, and warped perceptions in almost every scene. I stopped labeling it because everything would've had a one star next to it. So please take this chapter slow if you need to. It's a lot of avoidance of problems so of course there's lots of opportunity for depression and anxiety to lie to Viktor and Yuuri.
> 
> (note: unedited because this chapter was so emotional to write--will edit later)

-**Two Years Ago, Unknown**-

He bit back a scream as the stinging leather bit into his flesh.

_Keep still._

His body was being held open by the other two people in the room, exposed to endure the punishment for disobeying earlier. Each lash left a red mark on his otherwise already bruised skin—reminders from other visitors. A few of them overlapped, forming fresh bruises and small cuts.

The man wielding the whip did not hold back in strength and were all aimed toward his swollen stomach. His Omega instincts screamed at him to protect his belly, but he knew exactly what would happen if he even tried.

 _You don’t deserve to be this child’s parent. You’re intentionally putting them in harm’s way._  

Yuuri couldn’t help the tears from falling. He was failing as a parent. 

 _It’ll be your fault if Viktor’s child dies._  

The whip once again dug into his skin. He bit the inside of his cheek.

_They can’t break you. They can’t win._

“Have you learned your lesson?” the man asked. Another lash striking his belly. This one hurt more than the last.

Yuuri took in a deep breath before responding. “Yes,” he answered. 

The blows stopped. He saw the smirk returning to that twisted face. Yuuri felt his stomach tighten at the sight of the grin. 

Nothing good followed the smile.

“Let’s find out.” 

The underlying promise of things to come in the future sent shivers down Yuuri’s spine. 

_They can’t win._

 

-*Present Day, Hospital*-

 _Tick, tick._  

The count continued to echo in his mind. Despite there being no numbers, Yuuri knew there wasn’t much time left. He wanted nothing more than to tell Viktor the truth. 

He owed his fiancé that much. 

Yet every time he opened his mouth to speak the words, nothing came out. Yuuri could hear the words he wanted to say echo in his mind. Viktor would understand his reasoning. He had lost too much in their time missing.

_Five._

The number weighed heavily. Not just on his mind, but body as well. As the number increased, so did the marks on his body. Every loss came with a price. The biggest potential loss was in front of him.

_Will Viktor still want me?_

His mind was quick to scoff at him. How could he? Yuuri knew his worth. Viktor didn’t deserve to be tied down to him.

Yuuri knew that Viktor could reject him—had every right to—but he knew that if his fiancé left, he would never be able to recover.

_I can’t lose him. I need him._

It was the truth; and those words were always followed by a resounding thought of his selfishness.

Nika’s eyes turned toward him. His breath caught in his chest. 

 _I can’t._  

His heart hammered in his ears. How would Yuuri even begin to explain what happened with Nika? 

He had lost parts of himself that day. Everything surrounding the birth of their son should have come with joyous memories. But in the compound, any small amount of happiness came marred with tragedy. Yuuri had tried to patch together broken pieces only to have them shattered over and over. 

So he gave up trying to save the old and focused on rebuilding anew. Except every cornerstone of his fragile heart had still been built on joys tied to heartbreaks. The only thing they couldn’t touch were the memories of his time with Viktor.

However, he realized they had managed to taint one of the things that had gotten him through hard times as well. His chest tightened. How had he failed to realize this? They had instilled fear and doubt in so many aspects of his life. He thought he had protected the most important places of his heart and mind from them. 

_They corrupted everything._

Every “should have” was etched in his mind as a permanent reminder of a life that never could be. But he couldn’t have the life he wanted if he didn’t speak out.

_I want to tell you, Viktor. I really do._

He had an out. Viktor had given him a way to walk away from the conversation; however, he knew it couldn’t be an option. Leaving too much unspoken would bring a collapse their crumbling relationship.

Yuuri had to salvage what he could. 

_Please God, let me find the words._

 

-Viktor-

Viktor’s shoulders struggled to stay upright. Pain radiated in his upper back. His head began to throb. Silence had never weighed so much. 

He could see Yuuri’s internal struggle playing out in his fiancé’s expressive eyes. They never hid the truth. Each subtle change spoke volumes of the struggle his beloved faced. 

Viktor knew he had given Yuuri a way out of the conversation, but hoped that his fiancé would understand how important it was for him to have an answer. The thought of being denied the truth hadn’t been a consideration before. With each moment of silence, it grew loudly.

His fiancé attempted to open his mouth again, but no words came out. He didn’t know what to do in this situation. Perhaps it would be best to leave things for now. He didn’t want to push too hard.

The scent of distress slowly began to fill the air between them. Viktor had drawn that out of his fiancé. Guilt began to rise, especially once he saw Yuuri beginning to withdraw.

 _Don’t leave me again._  

Nika shifted in his arms, drawing his attention from Yuuri. Viktor looked down and saw his son pointing toward the books nearby. He picked one up and handed it to the toddler.

His son whined and talked at him.

“Not now, Nika.”

This spurred more whining on Nika’s part. 

He sighed. “Be a good boy and read silently for papa.”

Viktor found the book being shoved at him. Nika was not handling the inattention well it.

“Nika, I need to talk to…” Viktor paused—he didn’t know what to refer Yuuri as and he didn’t want to assume. “I need to talk to Yuuri.” 

His fiancé turned toward him. The first reaction from his beloved in quite a while. He let out a heavy sigh, grateful he hadn’t lost the other.

 _At least not yet._  

“Spend time with him,” Yuuri whispered. 

He looked at his fiancé. “What did you say?”

“Spend time with Nika,” the other repeated, “While I figure…” His fiancé drifted off for a moment. “I…want to try and answer you, Viktor. I just need some extra time.”

He could hear the strain in Yuuri’s voice again. Staying wouldn’t help. “Okay,” he agreed. “We’ll be back.”

Viktor returned the book to its place, but made sure Nika’s stuffed poodle was secure between them. He tightened his grip around his son and put his other arm underneath. 

“Okay, Nika, let’s take a walk.” He stood up, his son gripping on to him tightly. Viktor looked at his fiancé. “Will an hour be long enough?”

He heard a shaky breath. “I think so.”

“Okay.”

Viktor walked out of the room—hoping this would be good for them. Hoping that this would be good for them. That he wasn’t making a mistake by leaving Yuuri alone.

The topic was obviously sensitive and played a big part of Yuuri’s current identity right now. He was starting to come to grips that he might have to accept a non-answer for the time being.

Viktor was far from the familiar hospital room before realizing he didn’t know where to go. Their sessions were usually monitored and in a room set up specifically for the two of them. He knew those were made in advanced.

“Mister Nikiforov?” he heard from behind him. Viktor turned around. The nurse blushed.

“Yes?”

“We have a room you can play with Nika if you’d like.” 

“That would wonderful, thank you.” He smiled at her. She led him toward a room already set up with a bunch of toys. 

“Thank you so much,” he said with a smile.

The nurse walked out of the room. In the background, he heard several squeals.

“Oh my gosh, you talked to him!”

“He’s so much hotter when he’s holding his son.”

The voices died away as the door shut behind the two of them. Viktor set Nika down. 

“What do you want to do?” he asked. Nika immediately ran over toward a set of blocks in the room. He followed the toddler’s pace, careful not to let his mind think about Yuuri.

 

-Yuuri-

He watched his fiancé leave the room with their son. Yuuri felt his heart ache at the sight. Nika looked so happy and relaxed in Viktor’s arms. The sight brought forth every vicious reminder that he didn’t deserve Viktor’s love, affection, and patience.

Most of all, Yuuri didn’t deserve Nika.

He had let so much happen. So much fall through the cracks. His son didn’t deserve a parent like him. Nika had just been stuck because of unfortunate circumstances. For every bit that he was certain he wasn’t worthy of the two of them, he was positive Nika needed Viktor as his papa.

There had never been a doubt in his mind that Viktor would be a good father. Every doubt and insecurity rested with him. 

_Am I making a mistake keeping this child?_

Yuuri didn’t know how he would handle a second child. Nika was already a handful—getting worse now that they actually had freedom. He couldn’t keep up because he was still recovering.

He could already see how attached Nika was to Viktor. The relationship was everything Yuuri wished he could have with their son. He stroked the small bulge underneath the blanket. His mind conjuring how this time would be different. How this child wouldn’t be born in _that_ room.

Viktor would be there too.

_If he doesn’t decide you’re not worth the trouble._

He was carrying so much. Yuuri needed to trust Viktor more.

_Trust a person who lied to you._

Suddenly, an hour by himself felt daunting. He was alone with his thoughts and no one was there to help ground him. He couldn’t let them win. Yuuri had to start fighting back if he wanted to get better. If he wanted to be worthy of Viktor and their son, he would have to ignore every doubt and fear. 

Even at the risk of being rejected. 

Yuuri rubbed a thumb over his stomach.

Even if it meant he went at this alone.

_Tick, tick._

 

-Viktor-

The hour had passed quickly enough, but agonizingly slow at the same time. He had tried to pay attention to Nika, dote upon his son as much as possible. However, preparing for the possibility Yuuri wouldn’t be able to give him an answer.

_What if he can never tell me?_

Viktor wanted to be okay with that scenario, but he couldn’t tell what his reaction would be. No matter how much he tried to tell himself that they would make it through, he was less certain that was true.

He would fight to prevent that from happening.

Everything rested on this conversation. 

If Yuuri’s reaction earlier was anything to go by, Viktor was certain he was in for more disappointment than he was prepared to handle. With every step toward the familiar hospital room, he pressed Nika closer to him.

The toddler didn’t seem to mind his need to be close, merely adjusted so his nose was pressed to his neck. It was unfair, he felt. Viktor had to keep his anxiety over this conversation at bay just to keep his son calm. Nika was oblivious to the problems between him and Yuuri.

He wanted to keep it that way.

Yet the doubts still tugged at his mind. He had to ignore them though for his son’s sake. Viktor stopped a few steps away from the wide open door. He took in a couple of breaths. There was no turning back now.

_I will do everything I can to accept your answer, Yuuri._

With the silent promise, he entered the room.

 

-Yuuri-

He could smell Viktor before he heard the footsteps echo down the hall. The scent of his fiancé unnervingly calm in spite of the conversation before them. His mind immediately knew how to process the information. Viktor had already made a decision.

_This is merely a courtesy._

When Viktor came into the room, his breath caught in his throat. 

_Tick, tick._

This conversation would always have come too soon, but he didn’t have any time left to borrow.

He had burned through it by keeping other secrets.

_Soon you’ll run out of time for everything else too._

In his mind, he could hear the other clocks slowly winding down to his inevitable downfall. 

Viktor sat in the chair across from him, just like earlier. Nika didn’t make any motion to move from the other’s embrace. His chest clenched at the sight. He swallowed. Tears threatening to well up in his eyes. 

 _Don’t cry._  

His fiancé took in a deep breath. “I’m not trying to push you, Yuuri.”

”I know, Viktor.”

“I need an answer.” The “eventually” went unspoken, leaving the sentence to sound harsher than it was intended.

_I’m trying._

“I know,” he repeated. Yuuri took in a few deep breaths, trying to steel himself. He had to try. “I don’t know how much I’ll be able to tell you though. I don’t want to promise the truth about everything.”

He watched for any reaction from Viktor. Nothing.

“But I promise that I will one day,” he finished.

The only movement from his fiancé came from a slight shift to adjust Nika in his embrace. Yuuri wanted his fiancé to say _something_ to his words. He wanted reassurance. He felt none of the warmth of care Viktor usually exuded during their conversations. No promises that they could and would handle everything. 

For the first time since being rescued, Yuuri could see an end to their relationship.

 

-Viktor-

His mind raced as Yuuri spoke. He knew his fiancé was being honest with him. Which was everything he wanted. Yet every word spoken acted as a painful reminder that who he was now was not enough to get them through this hurdle.

Was not enough for Yuuri to trust. 

Viktor adjusted Nika in his arms. A distraction to keep him from getting too caught up in his own thoughts. Right now, Yuuri needed him to be present.

He sucked in a deep breath when he realized Yuuri was waiting for him to respond. “I want you to tell me everything you can,” Viktor whispered. “I want to understand what you’re thinking. I can’t do that unless you trust me more.”

Using the word “trust” drew a reaction from Yuuri. He had struck a painful nerve intentionally. This wasn’t to throw their previous conversation back in his fiancé’s face, but a reminder the expectation went both ways.

 

-*Yuuri*-

The sting of the word “trust” stabbed at his rapidly crumbling resolve.

_He didn’t mean to hurt you._

But could he be sure anymore. Viktor had every right to be frustrated with him. However, that didn’t help the words he desperately wanted to say come out. They couldn’t die here. He had to fight harder in this moment.

For them.

“Viktor,” he breathed. His voice shakier than anticipated. Yuuri refused to let the tears fall though. Not yet. “I want to keep this child.”

_No you don’t._

“I _have_ to keep this child,” he continued—ignoring the twisted voices. “This child may have been conceived under horrendous circumstances, but I don’t want their life to end because of them. They don’t deserve to stop living because of what I endured.”

There was more he wanted to tell, but getting out that much had drained him more than expected. He bit his lip in anticipation. 

“So abortion is out of the question entirely,” Viktor said quietly. “Did I understand your words right?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

His fiancé avoided looking at him. Yuuri shifted uncomfortably. “What about giving the child up adoption then?”

Yuuri sucked in a deep breath. He hadn’t thought about it much. All of his visions for the child included raising it together with Viktor or alone. This was _his_ child. He knew his explanation had been lacking, but he couldn’t tell the rest.

_Soon, I promise._

“I hadn’t thought of it,” Yuuri answered. “I want you to be their papa as well.”

_If possible._

He had laid out his true desire for his fiancé. Now he just had to hope Viktor wouldn’t reject him because of it.

 

-Viktor-

Viktor couldn’t breathe very well. He could feel the edges of his vision blurring at Yuuri’s words. His fiancé expected him to raise the child together. Expected him to forget its origin. How it came to existence.

 _I can’t_.

Yet he wanted to.

Because if he didn’t, it meant not having Yuuri in his life to the same degree that he wanted, _needed_.

And it meant not being able to be part of Nika’s life.

He swallowed and took in several breaths. It was an unfair choice, Viktor thought. Raise a child that wasn’t his or lose everything important to him. 

The difference between now and two years ago was that Viktor would be the one making the choice to walk away—not being forced away from his soulmate.

It was unfair. 

Having Yuuri back in his life shouldn’t hurt this much. 

_But it does._

Viktor didn’t want to revert back to the person he was without Yuuri in his life. He hated who he was without the love of his life near him every day. His fiancé kept him sane—had saved him from a destructive path. 

But could he learn to accept a child born from a time that carried so much pain for his fiancé or would he walk away from it all? 

When it came to Yuuri, the choice was easy.

“Okay, we’ll raise it together,” he said softly.

Viktor would always choose to stay by Yuuri’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, things are STILL not resolved completely between them. For Yuuri, this is part of his past and makes up part of his identity. It's hard to talk about these moments, especially since they were so traumatic. He will eventually open up. And Viktor will also open up to Yuuri about his thoughts. Because whether he likes to acknowledge it or not, this is part of his identity too.
> 
> As always, follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites for spoilers and other YoI-related ramblings.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I posted this on Twitter, but I know many of you might not read that. For the foreseeable future, chapters for this story will be uploaded every other week. I want to return to weekly updates, but I've got personal issues and some huge changes happening at work so it's just not possible right now. I appreciate your patience with me in all of this and I cannot express how thankful I am for your support. Hope you enjoy the chapter.
> 
> One star warnings: For a breakdown and depression.

-Present Day, Hospital-

Yuuri’s eyes stayed on Viktor’s. He was waiting for a list of conditions or expectations to come with his fiancé’s agreement to raise the child together.

They never came.

“You really mean that?” he asked. His voice so soft, Yuuri wasn’t sure if he had actually spoken the question out loud or if it was still just a thought in his head. 

Viktor nodded almost immediately. “I will do anything and everything just to remain by your side—especially now. I _need_ you, Yuuri.” 

“I need you too, Viktor.” 

“I know,” his fiancé whispered. “That’s why no matter what happens now and in the future, I’ll always be there.” 

His mind wandered back to the children he had lost. “I promise to be there for you and to eventually tell you everything about what happened.” 

Viktor nodded. His fiancé handed their son to him. Nika whined at being separated from his papa. Yuuri smiled at their child’s antics.

“I have to practice,” Viktor said gently. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

He stiffened at those final words. The promise of tomorrow carried fear and uncertainty now.

 _Trust him_.

“Okay,” Yuuri whispered. “See you tomorrow.”

With his affirmation of their next meeting, Yuuri could do nothing but watch his fiancé walk away.

The doubt of if he would actually see Viktor tomorrow increasing with each passing minute.

 

-*Viktor*-

After hearing Yuuri’s promise to eventually tell him his past, Viktor struggled to keep his composure. The words hurt much more than he had anticipated. Of course he _knew_ that his beloved wasn’t ready to tell him. Yet the promise of “eventually” felt stifling at best. 

Being in the room any longer would have destroyed him. Viktor needed to think about the commitment he had just made. The weight of what he just _promised_ to his fiancé. He sat in his rental car outside the hospital.

Taking deep breaths while messaging one person to help ground him. He needed someone other than Yakov to talk with about this problem. This was too much to handle.

Seconds after sending his message, his phone began ringing. Viktor accepted the call, pressing the device to his ear.

“Chris,” he answered. His voice shook horribly. Viktor found he didn’t care if someone could hear his vulnerability. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

He couldn’t even begin to explain the train wreck of his thoughts. The tears started falling before he could even think about maintaining his composure.

“Are you crying?” Chris asked softly.

“I need you here.” 

“Okay Viktor,” the man on the other answered. “I’m looking into flights now.”

Through his own sobs, he could hear the clacking against a keyboard. His thoughts going a million miles an hour. He could barely form a rational thought.

“Chris,” he repeated.

“I’m here,” his friend reassured. “Do you need to talk about anything now or do you want to do it in person?”

“I don’t even know,” Viktor whispered. “Everything is so messed up between us right now. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I didn’t expect it to be so hard either. I love him so much that it makes everything hurt more. I’m afraid that if I tell him how I really feel, he’ll leave me. Chris, I don’t know to live without him.

“Every time I think I have this all figured out, something new pops up that I’m not prepared to handle. I never want to disappoint him and I’m afraid it’s going to happen before I can get a grip on my thoughts.”

“Where are you now, Viktor?”

“I’m sitting in the hospital parking garage.” 

“Do you have a place you can go and be by yourself until I get in?”

“No,” he answered honestly. He couldn’t go to the rink. There were lessons going on. Going back to the hotel was not an option either. Yakov would be there. This wasn’t a conversation he could have with his coach. This was something he needed to have with his best friend. 

Chris swore. “Look, I’m heading to the airport now. It’ll be about five hours before I can be there. You need to book your own hotel room now. You need your own space. Yakov will understand eventually. We’ll get your stuff later. Just focus on getting to a space where it’s only about you.”

“Okay,” he whispered.

“Viktor?” Chris said.

“Yes?” 

“You’ll get through this. I’m here for you. I’ll help you in any way I can, I promise. I won’t leave you.”

Viktor nodded even though he knew the other couldn’t see him. He took in several deep breaths. “Thank you.”

 

-Yuri-

After a meeting with his physician at the hospital and Doctor Luski, they had cleared him to be discharged from the hospital on the weekend. They said he had gained enough weight to be on the low side of a normal weight. However, they were confident in his eating habits and came up with a plan for him to return to athletic form.

One of the key elements of his post-discharge plan was to keep up therapy sessions no matter where he trained. His current plan remained. Yuri wanted to stay in Moscow and live with his grandpa until Yakov returned to Saint Petersburg. He wanted to return to competitive condition as soon as possible. 

He _needed_ to be back on the ice.

Yuri wanted to reclaim the life he had before everything went to hell. He _would_.

Nothing could stand in his way when he was determined. Yuri knew this. Had been rewarded for his efforts with a gold medal. That’s why he felt confident in his ability to return to the place where he belonged.

He walked back to the room he’d become adjusted to over the several weeks staying there. Yuri paused a few feet away. 

_How will he handle the news?_

He didn’t know how to tell Katsuki what was about to happen if everything worked out perfectly. At the end of the week, he would no longer be a constant presence at the hospital. Yuri knew he was strong enough to handle the next phase of his life on his own. His confidence at readjusting to his old life, however, wavered whenever he thought about leaving the Omega and Nika constantly alone.

 _It’s for the best. You want this._  

He did. But couldn’t shake the feeling that this would inevitably end up being a disaster. Yuri sucked in a deep breath.

_You can’t hold yourself back because of him. You need to move on._

Yuri steadied his breathing before returning to the familiar hospital room. Nika noticed his presence first. Katsuki followed a few seconds other had dealt with something significant in the time he was gone. He just couldn’t tell _what_.

Given the fading scent of Viktor in the room, he had a guess that the problem could be tied to the older Alpha.

“Hi,” Katsuki greeted quietly. “How was your meeting with doctors?”

“Fine,” he grumbled. “They check you too?”

The Omega nodded. “Yes. Everything is progressing normally. They want me to be more active and gain more weight. Though it’s hard when you’re constantly sick.”

A hallow chuckle followed that sentence. He didn’t call Katsuki out on his fake behavior, sensing that this was not the time for that. Eventually, he figured, everything would come out in the open. Yuri liked to believe that there were no secrets between each other.

However, he _knew_ there was trauma the Omega carried that he hadn’t spoken about. Yuri wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the full extent of the horrors experienced in the compound. They lived in two separate hells during that time. Each moment they had together marred by a string of unending tragedies and lies told between them.

Anything to help the other person fight through the brokenness of their lives. Each lie repeated until the words flowed smoothly past their lips. And they bought each one of them because living in a world holding on to small hopes was easier than living in one where peril constantly lurked.

Everything they built up in their heads though was just a fantasy and didn’t match the reality they were facing. 

He climbed into the bed next to Katsuki. Nika came up to him immediately.

Yuri noticed the disappointment in the Omega’s eyes. “He’s been very attached to everyone else lately,” Katsuki whispered. “He gets restless when it’s just the two of us.”

“You know he loves you,” Yuri said.

The Omega didn’t say anything in response to his sentence. Yuri didn’t press. He was already planning to shatter the older man’s heart later this week. No sense on picking at open wounds.

“Yura,” Katsuki whispered.

“Hmm?”

“Everything is going to be fine, right?” 

He frowned. “Of course. Why do you ask?”

The Omega didn’t answer. Yuri was concerned. Katsuki had someone on his mind, but didn’t want to share. Just wanted the reassurances that everything would be all right. If only he knew _what_ the other needed to be reassured of. 

He turned toward the older male, offering his neck. Katsuki didn’t hesitate to breathe in his scent. It was pathetically inadequate to what the other actually needed; but without more information, this was all Yuri could offer. He needed to make sure the Omega was fine.

 _Especially since you’re going to break his heart in two days._  

He ran a hand through the other’s hair, hoping that when the time came, Yuri wouldn’t push Katsuki over the edge.

 

-*Hotel, Present Day*-

Viktor did exactly as Chris instructed. He had gone back to the hotel and rented a room just for himself and sent the room number to his best friend. For five and a half hours, he laid on the bed, curled up in the blankets and replayed every part of the conversation he had with Yuuri.

Why had he promised something so significant without hesitation?

He knew the answer. It would always be because Yuuri had made the request. Viktor wanted to give his fiancé the world. Even if doing so was impossible—and if it came at the expense of his true feelings. When they began talking, he had wanted a two-way discussion on the issue. This hadn’t been a time to let everything go unspoken. There were already too many words left unsaid between them.

However, he couldn’t take back his words now. He’d have to find a way to live with what he had promised.

Easier said than done.

_Just don’t cry until you get through the explanation._

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. He rolled out of the bed, leaving the blanket behind. Viktor checked the peephole before opening the door and letting in Chris. His best friend dragged in two oversized suitcases. 

A sign that the other person planned to stay for a long while.

Viktor would have smiled at the sentiment, but forcing himself to do so would cause him to completely shatter.

Once the door shut behind them, the taller man embraced Viktor—immediately destroying his resolve not to cry until later. He didn’t realize Chris had led them toward the bed or that the other had rewrapped the white blanket around him again.

His best friend let him hold on for as long as needed without a single word.

Viktor was aware time had passed. The bright daylight had faded into early. At some point, food arrived at their door, but he couldn’t eat at first. It wasn’t until darkness had completely settled when he felt like trying to talk.

Chris didn’t interrupt his explanation. He told the man everything. How his fiancé was bonded to Yurio. Pregnant with an unknown person’s child. Physically and emotionally scarred. His fears about raising a child that wasn’t part of him. Most of all, how he was afraid that if he didn’t act like everything was fine—especially after the ugliness with Yurio—Viktor would lose Yuuri.

“I want to be there, but I’m afraid that I promised too much.”

“Because you did,” Chris answered bluntly. He winced. “I’ve known you for a long time, Viktor. You put everything and everyone before yourself. Even more so now that you have something you want to protect. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to be there for him—he clearly needs you during this time. However, you’re trying to please him instead of actually solving your problems.”

Viktor mulled over Chris’ words. “But it’s what I _want_ to do.”

“But not what you _need_ to do right now. Look, I know you’re hurting and he’s obviously hurting too. But you won’t make things better if you don’t express what you need. It sounds like he’s trying to find his words and communicate them to you. But there’s a lot keeping him from opening up fully. You have to work past your pain too.”

He frowned. “I don’t understand. I’m doing everything to try and keep our relationship from falling apart. Do you know how hard it is to watch your fiancé be in so much emotional pain and there not be a damn thing you can do about it? Having to sit back and watch him cling to someone else? And then be asked to care for two children—one of which isn’t even yours?”

“And how much time have you spent processing everything you just mentioned?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Chris.” 

“How much time have you actually thought about every element of what has changed in yours and Yuuri’s relationship? Have you thought about how it’s affecting your life, going to affect your life, and how you want it to affect your life?”

Viktor growled. Angry that Chris was here, pretending like he knew everything after just one conversation between them. Viktor didn’t matter. Yuuri _did._

“When was the last time you went to therapy?”

“I don’t know.” 

“You need to go again. First thing in the morning, you’re calling the doctor you’ve been seeing and making an appointment for later in the day.”

“But—”

“You can hate me all you want, Viktor. But I’m not going to coddle you—you know that. I promised we’d get through it together. However, I’m not going to sit back and watch you continue to self-destruct. I’ve been there for that before Yuuri and I don’t want to ever see you go through that again. You’re meant for each other. Nothing that has happened or will happen can change that unless you stop helping yourself.

“I know you want everything with Yuuri to go back to what it was, but that’s not going to happen. Not right now. Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you aren’t fighting for your relationship. If you don’t start communicating honestly what you need to Yuuri, you’re going to have more problems down the line and it will hurt both of you. I know you don’t think you matter right now, but you do to him. And he might not be able to handle you if you break down.”

Viktor sucked in a deep breath. Yes, he hated Chris being there. However, he knew his friend was looking out for his best interests. Especially when it was so hard for him to see exactly what he needed.

“I will try,” he whispered.

“You’ll feel better,” Chris promised. “For now, focus on getting to spend time with your family and continue to talk about what you both want your time after Yuuri’s out from the hospital to look like. But don’t promise things for your future and communicate how _you_ picture it as well. Even if the visions don’t line up, you’ll both find a way to make it work.”

He nodded. “Okay. I think I can do that.” 

The conversation lapsed into silence. Viktor didn’t know how it was all going to work out, but he felt significantly better talking everything through.

“So how long do I have to wait before I get to see pictures of your son?” Chris asked, tone light and teasing. Viktor smiled and immediately reached for his phone.

“He’s so cute, Chris!”

They spent the next hour looking through photos until Viktor fell asleep, too exhausted from his several breakdowns to continue.

Everything wasn’t resolved. But at least he had support. He wasn’t alone. 

_Please don’t hate me for my feelings, Yuuri._

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Yuuri watched the sun begin to rise in their room. Body heavy and weary, but his mind continuing to replay each thought and fear in his mind. Every time he tried to rest, something new weighed him down.

_If you come today, I promise I’ll open up to you more, Viktor. Please don’t hate me for what I’ll tell you._

He felt something at his side shift. Yuuri glanced down to see Yura pull the blankets higher to cover his thin body. Was it cold in the room? He honestly didn’t know.

His thoughts drifted to how the younger Alpha had acted last night. Something was wrong. Or about to be from what he could tell. Yura wasn’t exactly subtle in trying to protect him from bad news, either withdrawing completely or clinging more than usual.

Currently, this was a demonstration of the latter. Yuuri didn’t know if he could handle what was about to happen in their lives, but all he knew was that he would have to _try_. 

_You're not going to break me, Yura. I'm a lot stronger than you think. I'll be able to handle what you think you can't tell me._

He wrapped his arms around the teenaged Alpha and allowed himself to relax. His mind still buzzing from all the thoughts and potentials of what could happen.

_Everything will be fine, Yura said so._

Except Yuuri knew everything wouldn’t. Not at first, but eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter for updates, spoilers, and other musings @LadyMWrites


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for taking longer than usual to post this chapter. I worked three weeks straight without a day off until this last weekend--where I "finished" this chapter. I wanted it to be longer, but I felt it was more important to focus on something else this chapter.
> 
> Surprisingly, nothing is bad enough to get stars in this chapter. There's still the usual anxiety/depression warnings though, but it's not descriptive or terrible enough to slap a warning on there.

-Present Day, Rink-

 

Yakov hadn’t been happy when Viktor had told him about the new arrangement. However, his coach didn’t question his decision. Nor did he complain—too much—about his request for the older man to bring his stuff to the rink.

His coach also hadn’t said anything at Chris’ sudden presence. The Swiss man had since retired from the sport, but hadn’t lost his eye for perfection. If Yakov didn’t correct his skating, Chris was quick to shout what needed to be fixed. 

After what felt like the hundredth run through of his step sequence for his short program, Viktor skated over to the edge of the rink to rehydrate.

“It’s finally starting to look better,” Chris commented.

“I asked you to come here for support,” Viktor pouted. “Yakov’s already enough of a slave driver.” 

“Only because he knows you’re capable of more.”

The words took him back to when Yakov first approached him about being his coach. 

_“If you come train under me, I can help you reach the next level. I know you’re capable.”_

Viktor had sold his life to skating. Was still selling himself to the sport, even if it was merely for appearances at this point. 

He loved skating. But it was no longer his life. 

His life was stuck in the hospital. Waiting for him to come. Waiting for him to fulfill his promise. Every second spent here felt like a betrayal to his beloved. 

Yet, despite these feelings, Viktor needed this outlet right now—even if it was weighed down by the pressures and expectations of the Federation. 

“It appears news of Chris being here has brought more reporters to the rink. They’re camped outside,” Yakov grumbled. 

Viktor flashed a small smile. “They always are.”

“Let’s keep practicing for now. Hopefully the less dedicated will weed themselves out. Now run through your step sequence for your free skate.”

Viktor pushed away from the barrier and began to tell the small audience of the joy he had felt when he was reunited with Yuuri once again. He emptied his mind of their current troubles. Nothing could taint his feeling of joy upon hearing the words that his fiancé had been found _alive_.

Neither Yakov nor Chris offered any corrections to his step sequence. So he continued to run through the rest of the program, incorporating his joy of finding out he had a son before ending on the note of a having a complete family.

The end part still didn’t feel right. He could tell just by looking quickly over at Yakov and Chris, they had felt it too. However, no one commented on why the end of his free skate wasn’t expressed properly. Viktor went back to the edge of the rink.

Waiting.

And waiting.

The corrections never came though.

“That’s enough for practice, Vitya. I’ll go see what the press situation looks like.” With that, Yakov walked away.

Another day. Another disappointment. Viktor couldn’t connect to his performance properly. There was no way to fix that, he was painfully aware of the inadequacy. He stepped off the ice and wiped off his blades before putting on his skate guards. Chris followed him over to the bench while he took off his skates.

“Your free skate is beautiful,” Chris started conversationally. “Everything perfectly shows your emotions. I could feel everything.”

“The end is horrible,” Viktor bit out harshly. “It’s supposed to be about having my family with me, but I don’t feel like I have them. It scares me.”

“They are yours though. Yuuri and Nika aren’t going anywhere.”

“Because they have no choice right now,” he said. Viktor could feel his anger rising. “I’m the only thing they know. His family can’t come here. His friends aren’t here. He only has me and Yurio—and we’re not making his recovery easier.”

“His recovery was never going to be easy, Viktor. No matter who else comes, his battles won’t be any less significant. If he had been found on the other side of the world, he still would have wanted you there.”

Viktor took a deep breath, trying to calm his thoughts down. “I know,” he whispered. “It doesn’t mean I can stop these thoughts.”

“I know. I’ll be here to reassure you that none of them are true as many times as you need. Now, we’ll go out to lunch, let the paparazzi have fun taking pictures of us. Then you drop me off at the hotel and I’ll take your luggage up to your room, and then you’ll go see your fiancé and be _honest_ with him. Does that sound like a plan?”

Viktor nodded. 

“Great, let’s go.”

Yakov had returned. Viktor didn’t know when his coach had arrived. “Does he know?” he asked gruffly. 

“Yes.”

“No speaking to the press about it. Right now our official statement is that Viktor is focusing on his skating and helping Yuuri as he continues to recover. No mention of his son, which hospital, or current condition. If they ask why you’re here, just say that you were invited to help with Vitya’s programs for the season.”

Chris nodded. The three of them walked out of the rink together and were instantly bombarded with questions from the press about his fiancé and why Chris had come to Moscow. They gave the previously briefed answers, no additional comments on Yuuri’s health at the moment. They shoved cameras and microphones in their direction all the way to their cars.

Every probing question had an answer on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t talk about it. Not yet. Eventually they’d have to craft a statement from Yuuri, but now was not that time.

He ignored any additional questions and left with Chris to go to lunch—knowing full well that their meal would be interrupted by the press.

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Yuuri could feel the anxiousness coming from the younger Alpha. He put up with the behavior for most of the morning, but as the day wore on, his patience was stretched thin.

Lack of sleep combined with pushes from nurses to eat more and walk more did nothing to help improve his mood. Yuuri had wanted the other to open up to him on his own time. However, it was becoming stifling. 

He collapsed back into bed after completing a walk up and down the hallway outside his room. His stomach lurched. Within seconds, a trashcan was in his hands. After another round of emptying his guts and cleaning his mouth, Yura was back by his side, curled into his side.

“It seems worse this time around,” the younger Alpha commented. 

Yuuri gave a weak chuckle. “It’s always been bad, but you’re right. This is the worst it has been since Nika.”

The conversation died there. The toddler was nestled against Yura. His heart ached at the scene. His own son preferred everyone’s company but his own. 

_That’s not true._

However, he couldn’t help but feel that it was the truth. Yuuri pushed those thoughts aside in order to have an important conversation with the younger Alpha clinging to his side.

“Yura,” he started quietly.

“What?”

“You know you can tell me anything that’s on your mind, right?”

The other shifted away from him. “Yeah, why are you bringing this up now, Katsuki?”

He swallowed. He didn’t want to push Yura to tell him if the other wasn’t ready. However, Yuuri could feel the younger Alpha’s anxiousness as his own and he didn’t want to accidentally trigger another episode between them.

“I just want you to know,” he whispered. “You always seem scared to tell me and I don’t want you to be afraid. Not with me.”

He watched the younger Alpha process his words for a moment. “I’m not.”

“But you are,” Yuuri insisted—fearful that this may be the time he pushed too hard. “You’re always trying to protect me from bad news. It makes me feel weak and inadequate—that I’m not good enough to support you. Let me share whatever you’re shouldering on your own. Please.” 

His plea hung in the air between them. One beat. 

Then two. 

Soon, too many had passed for there to be a favorable answer to his request. His heart began to sink each moment that went by without Yura speaking. 

 _I pushed him too far. I’m sorry, Yura._  

Panic was quick to settle. Yuuri consciously reached for his son to help ground him. Nika was quick to accept his affection and curled against his chest, ear pressed against his heart.

 

-Yuri-

He hadn’t expected for Katsuki to confront him about his behavior. The Omega was usually content to leave things be. He wondered what changed today.

Yuri wanted to tell the older man everything, but it wasn’t the right time. He didn’t even know what would happen quite yet. Sure, he had his plan, but everything was subject to change based on the meeting with his grandpa later today. 

Instead, he did the only thing he could think of at the moment.

Yuri left the room.

He could instantly feel the surge of sadness and rejection through their bond. Yuri ignored it

No matter what, he wouldn’t feel guilty about his choices. Even if they caused more strain in their relationship—whatever it was now that they weren’t in the compound. Yuri had to be honest with himself first. Eventually, he’d have to tell the truth. But right now, he could keep this secret.

Despite of how far he was from the room, Yuri could feel the strain of his earlier actions. He wandered down to the cafeteria. An hour far too early, but he couldn’t stay in the room for much longer. Not when he already felt guilty for keeping what he wanted to do a secret.

Yuri took in several deep breaths.

He had to focus on the conversation ahead of him.

_How do I even begin to describe what happened, grandpa?_

 

-Viktor-

He had just arrived at the hospital after an exhausting lunch with Chris. His best friend had done everything to satisfy the press, but Viktor didn’t feel like playing toward the camera. They tried to get information from them several times.

However, they just reiterated what was said earlier. The press was less than thrilled with the recycled answer. They had followed them back to the hotel. Viktor leaving again didn’t go unnoticed and it had taken him even longer to lose them. 

Viktor sighed. He already messaged Yakov to leave a new rental car for him at the hospital.

His coach said the keys would be waiting upon leaving this time instead of arrival. So he pushed it from his mind and went inside. He left the current set of car keys with the receptionist, who wrote down his instructions. The receptionist wished him a good visit with his fiancé. 

The words twisted the feeling in his gut. Viktor wasn’t sure if he’d be able to go through with the conversation.

He’d try.

But he was still afraid.

_I don’t want to lose you. You’re the first person I’ve let this close to me, Yuuri._

Viktor couldn’t help but feel that rejection was inevitable. Which is why he didn’t want to have this conversation. Avoided being honest with himself. It was easier to please others than tell the people he’s slowly let in see how vulnerable he really was. 

When he had expressed these fears to Chris, the man had the same blunt, but refreshing honesty he always did. 

_“Yuuri isn’t just anyone. He’s the love of your life. He deserves to know the truth from you. No matter how much it hurts at first.”_

He sucked in a deep breath as he approached the hallway that would lead him to his beloved. When he rounded the corner though, he hadn’t expected to see his fiancé walking with a nurse.

Nika keeping pace with his Yuuri.

Until the toddler caught sight of him. His son didn’t hesitate to run toward him, causing his fiancé to look up in alarm. Viktor bent down and picked up Nika in a swift motion.

“Viktor,” Yuuri breathed. He could hear how strained it was. Viktor didn’t know if it was because of the exercise or something else.

“Yuuri,” he greeted. A cautious step. His fiancé held up a hand. Viktor immediately stopped.

“I want to come to you.”

So he waited. The process was agonizing. Each step strained. He could see the shaky legs. The well-concealed stumbles. His heart swelled though.

Yuuri was trying so hard. 

Fighting through everything. 

Walking toward him.

In the depths of the dark brown eyes, there was a familiar fire burning. One that he hadn’t seen in years.

Yuuri was going to overcome. _No matter what he faced._  

He sucked in a deep breath. This was the man he fell in love with. The one who hated to lose. The one that fought with every fiber of his being to keep going—even when everything was stacked against him. 

Viktor never thought he’d see this Yuuri ever again.

His fiancé was standing in front of him. Viktor couldn’t help himself. He reached out a hand and gently placed it on Yuuri’s cheek.

Warmth surged through his soul. 

_You’re so beautiful, Yuuri._

For a second, his fiancé stared at him—eyes continuing to burn. But slowly, Viktor could see the panic boiling underneath. Fear quickly tried to snuff out the fire inside of his beloved.

His heart ached at the sight.

_I’m doing that to him._

His fiancé pulled away from the contact. Eyes cast down. Then, they looked up in complete terror at _him_.

_Don’t look at me like that._

Viktor withdrew his hand from near Yuuri’s face. There was a flinch in response to his action. His fiancé was expecting _retaliation_.

He let his hand fall limply to his side. The weight of his discovery fully pressing on his shoulders. If he wasn’t careful, Viktor could break Yuuri even more.

_I don’t want to hurt you even more._

“I’m proud of you,” he whispered. “You’ve come so far. You’re amazing.”

The fear in his beloved’s eyes disappeared. However, his words did not bring back the other’s previous fire. 

“Let’s go back to the room,” Yuuri said softly. He could only nod and follow his fiancé’s pace.

They didn’t say anything during the short walk back. 

Yet the look of fear from earlier spoke volumes for both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites for my usual spoilers, crying over YoI, and pics of all the green tea lattes that fuel this fic on Saturdays.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't take this as a sign I'm back to my weekly updates. This chapter has been writing itself in my mind all week. I just had to carve time and write it out. For now, still expect them to come every other week.
> 
> Note: this chapter is barely edited. I was so excited to post.
> 
> One star warnings for anxiety, depression, light mentions of time in the compound.
> 
> Two star warning for anxiety, depression, more description of time in the compound. Nothing too bad, but mentions of Yuuri being physically harmed and vague references to what was expected of him.

-*Present Day, Hospital*-

He had tried to keep everything under control. No matter how hard Yuuri tried, something would always destroy his resolve.

It always ended up this way.

Every bit of progress made undone by the simplest of things.

A gentle touch.

His stomach churned as they walked back to his hospital room.

Yuuri knew he’d have to tell Viktor _why._ Not because his fiancé would demand an answer. No, this was something he had to do. Keeping these secrets, hiding his trauma would only destroy their relationship. 

_What’s left of our relationship._

He couldn’t hope to have a future with someone if he continued to keep everything to himself. Yura knew part of the truth, but the younger Alpha had changed since being released from the compound. Yuuri was _proud_ of how the teen had transitioned so easily.

Here he was, still struggling to move past the expectations, memories, and habits ingrained in him from that time. Yuuri was still stuck in the compound in many ways—unable to escape. 

It didn’t matter that he was safe. The scars he bore kept him from moving on.

If he talked about why he was his way, then maybe, _maybe_ he’d have a shot at the future he so desperately desired. With Viktor.

_And Yura._

The nurse helped him into bed while Viktor held on to their son.

For several minutes, they remained quiet in the room as the nurse made sure he wasn’t going to throw up as had become ritual for his post-walks. Not this time. Satisfied, she left the room and promised to bring them food in an hour. 

Yuuri leaned back in the bed and briefly closed his eyes, steadying his breathing. His heart continued to beat wildly. 

“Are you okay?” Viktor asked quietly.

He nodded, eyes still closed. “They’re pushing me to be more active and it’s draining.” 

That was only part of the truth, but he didn’t feel the need to be completely honest.

A few more minutes passed by and he opened his eyes to see Nika cuddled against Viktor, fighting off sleep. Their son hadn’t slept much either, mostly due to his own anxiousness. 

A surge of guilt washed over him. He had kept their child from resting properly.

“You’re not the only one who’s tired, it seems.” Viktor laughed softly before lifting their son to kiss his forehead. The toddler gave in and closed his eyes completely—relaxing in fiancé’s arms.

Viktor watched their son tenderly before relaxing his arms and slowly lowering their son to rest in his lap. Yuuri grabbed the blanket Nika had been using and reached to place it over the toddler.

His fiancé helped adjust the blanket. Their fingers brushed gently while tucking in their son together.

Nika readjusted himself in Viktor’s arms before settling

Yuuri smiled at the sight.

He longed for more memories like these.

“I can’t believe he’s our child,” Viktor whispered softly, eyes focused on their son. “He’s so beautiful.” His fiancé looked at him. Blue eyes filled with love and adoration. All directed _him_. How long had it been since he’d been looked at in such a way? “Thank you for protecting him and keeping him safe.”

The words made his stomach churn. 

_If you only knew…_

“Viktor,” he whispered. His voice shook.

“Yes?”

He swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

 

-Yuri-

Yuri had spent the time before Yakov and his grandpa’s arrival mentally practicing what he wanted to say. Yet the moment his grandpa walked through the door, every word he had rehearsed died in his mouth.

His grandpa hadn’t changed much. It took every ounce of willpower not to run to him and cling to the older man like he would have two years ago. When their eyes met, the hard lines his grandpa had in his face softened. A look only reserved for him.

When they embraced, they both broke at the same time. Tears flowed freely between the two of them. Neither of them had cried in front of the other before this. They had always been strong for each other. The silent promises they had made while he was a child years ago were forgotten in the hospital cafeteria.

“Yuri,” his grandpa whispered. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

“I thought the same,” he breathed. They pulled apart just enough to take in each other’s appearances now that they were closer together.

“You’re still strong.”

“Not as strong as I used to be, _dedushka._ ” 

“You’re even stronger now, Yuri.”

Another wave of tears overcame him and he buried his face in the older man’s shoulder. He stood taller than his grandpa now. But that didn’t change the fact that he still felt protected and safe from the world in his grandpa’s arms.

“There’s so much I want to tell you,” he whispered. “But I’m afraid.”

He didn’t elaborate on what he meant.

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” his grandpa answered. “I’m just glad to have you back.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“No apologies either. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

He smiled. Even though two years had passed, his grandpa hadn’t changed one bit. 

They eventually sat down next to Yakov, who had made himself comfortable with a cup of coffee.

“When do you get out of the hospital, Yuri?”

He swallowed. “Tomorrow actually.”

“What are your plans?” his grandpa asked.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I wanted to stay with you for the time being since Yakov is here.” 

“You want to return to the ice?” his former coach asked. 

Yuri nodded. “I want to return to professional skating by Russian Nationals.” 

“Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” his grandpa asked.

He didn’t hesitate on his answer. “Yes.”

“What have your doctors said about your plan?” Yakov asked.

“They gave me a training regimen to follow.”

Yuri waited for the next objection to his plan.

“You’re always welcome to stay with me,” his grandpa answered. “You’ve taken care of me for years. I can do the same for you now.”

He promised himself he would not cry this time around. “Thank you.”

“What about when I return to Saint Petersburg? I have to go back eventually,” Yakov asked.

“I will follow and figure out a living arrangement when the time comes.”

“What about the rink?”

Doctor Luski had talked to him about that scenario. “I’m preparing for the possibility that I might react to being back there, but it’s not something we can say will happen. I just want to skate again,” he answered.

“What happens if you do react though?”

Yuri didn’t know. He didn’t have a plan for that far. He didn’t know anything else in his life. “I don’t know. I’ll figure it out if that happens.”

“I’ll take you on again under the condition you continue your therapy both here and in Saint Petersburg. I’ll be in contact with your regular doctors too to figure out how best to ease you back into training. I’m not going to push you to return to National’s this year if it will be detrimental to your physical and emotional health. Do I make myself clear?”

Yuri nodded. He would still fight to make his self-imposed goal though.

“I can craft a press release with your intention to ease back into skating and that you’re recovering well. Eventually you’ll have to talk to the press; but it should be enough for now.”

“Thank you, Yakov.” 

His coach nodded. “I’m going to go make some calls. I’ll leave you two alone to talk for a bit. I’ll be back in about an hour.” 

After Yakov left, Yuri devoted all of his attention to his grandpa—who caught him up on everything that had happened while he was gone.

In turn, Yuri began to slowly recount some of his experiences in the compound.

 

-Viktor-

“Why are you apologizing?” he asked gently. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

His words were meant to be reassuring, to dispel the lies running through his fiancé’s mind. Yet, he saw the disbelief in Yuuri’s eyes. There was more than that though.

Pain. Fear. Uncertainty.

Instead of pushing, he waited for his beloved to open up to him. It was the same battle Yuuri fought every time he came. But he couldn’t do anything to help his fiancé through the struggles he was facing.

_Not until he talks to me._

“Viktor,” his fiancé said again. He didn’t tear his gaze away from Yuuri. “I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to pull away.” 

He opened his mouth to reassure Yuuri that it was fine, but the words never made it out because of what his fiancé said next. 

“In the compound, I was tortured.”

 

-**Yuuri**-

He sucked in a deep breath. There was no going back now. He had to tell Viktor this. Had to explain why he had pulled away.

“I know you have an idea of what I was forced to do while I was missing,” he continued. “I did my best to resist. I fought back, rejected those who came to…visit me. The people who ran the place beat me several times.”

Yuuri paused and tried to push back the memories of what he endured. The pictures burned in his mind would never go away, but he couldn’t think too much about it if he was going to get through his brief explanation. 

“I was trained to accept any affection. Touches were followed by pain if I pulled away. I never wanted to receive any of the attention they gave me, but…it was supposed to be part of the experience. Several months after being taken, a group was brought in to break me completely. I don’t know how many days actually passed, but it was at least three.”

He couldn’t stop the tears this time. “I know you’re not them,” Yuuri continued. “And I never wanted to react that way with you…”

Whatever he could say next would be woefully inadequate so he stopped. Yuuri tried to compose himself to continue, but he couldn’t.

“Yuuri,” Viktor whispered softly. It was then he realized his fiancé was crying with him. “Thank you for telling me. I never want to be the one who hurts you. I know you’re fighting a lot for _me_ and I appreciate it so much. I’m fighting for you too. I will continue to do that no matter what you tell me now or in the future.”

He stretched out his hand. It shook, because of how tired he felt. But he needed to feel his fiancé’s warmth flow through him. Feel their connection.

“Yura was the only one to hold my hand in the compound,” Yuuri whispered. “It’s the only thing that’s not tainted by them.”

Viktor adjusted Nika in his arms to take his hand. Fingers intertwined. Tears running down both of their faces.

“You weren’t tainted by them, Yuuri. Not to Yurio. Not to Nika. Not to me.”

Their brokenness far from forgotten, but a show of unity that they would continue to fight for their future.

 _Together_.

 

-Hotel, Viktor-

Yuuri had fallen asleep holding on to his hand while crying. He waited for over an hour before tucking his son next to his fiancé and leaving. When Viktor walked out of the hospital, he didn’t feel as weighed down as his previous visits.

Despite the obvious pain and trauma his fiancé had suffered, he was relieved that Yuuri chose to tell him about what had happened. Viktor didn’t know all the details still, but the fact that they were talking about the time in the compound meant the world.

There was no taking away the trauma and pain of what was felt then. Nor was it going to be easy to overcome it now, but now he knew more about Yuuri. Knew more of what not to do. For once, he didn’t feel like he was trying to blindly walk through a minefield.

However, despite the good that came out of their talk today, there was still so much they had to overcome. Had to discuss. He arrived at his hotel room to find Chris lounging on the couch, watching the television provided.

“Ah, I didn’t expect you to be back so soon,” his best friend answered. The television was turned off and Chris sat upright so Viktor could join him.

He sat down on the couch, feeling more exhausted now that he wasn’t in the hospital.

“Did you tell him?” Chris asked.

Viktor felt a pang of guilt. He shook his head. “No.”

Chris frowned. “Why not? The longer you delay—”

“I know,” he answered. “Yuuri opened up to me today about some of the things he experienced during the compound.”

“Oh,” Chris breathed.

“It’s the first time he’s told me some of the details. He experienced so much. I know we barely scratched the surface of what he really went through, but it was progress. He’s fighting so hard right now and I can’t mess that up with my feelings about something so insignificant right now.”

“It’s not insignificant,” Chris insisted.

“Compared to what he went through, it is.”

“Viktor. Don’t do this to yourself. You’re trivializing your feelings again. Just because Yuuri experienced horrible things, doesn’t mean that what you want still doesn’t matter. He’s finally opening up to you and he’s trusting you to do the same thing. You’re going to destroy your relationship if you keep this to yourself.”

Viktor didn’t see it that way. He would gladly bury all his personal thoughts and feelings if it meant he could understand more about what happened to Yuuri.

 

-Hospital, Yuri- 

When Yuri returned to the hospital room, he found both Katsuki and Nika asleep. They looked so peaceful. He knew their happiness would soon be shattered because of what he was about to tell them.

Katsuki stirred first. “Yura,” the Omega said groggily.

“How did your visit with Viktor go?” he asked.

“I told him some things about the compound,” Katsuki grumbled.

His heart beat faster. Obviously the conversation had tired the Omega out. Which meant hearing this news could make things worse.

“Yura, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he answered.

“You’re lying.” The response was soft. A statement of the obvious and not accusatory. But hearing the words still stung. 

He crawled into bed and curled into Katsuki’s side—hoping the older male would drop the conversation.

The Omega ran his fingers through his hair. “I know you’ll tell me eventually, Yura.” 

Several minutes passed by. He tried to relax under the other’s embrace. Yuri worked on how best to phrase his news. Time was running out for him to tell. 

He swallowed.

 _Now or never_.

“I’m getting discharged tomorrow.” 

The fingers in his hair stopped. “Oh,” Katsuki breathed out. He could hear the other’s heartbeat increase at his words. “Where are you going to stay?”

“With my grandpa. Yakov is going to coach me again. I’m going to return to professional skating.” 

He felt the fingers resume their previous motion. “You’re going to be hard to beat when you return. I look forward to watching you win gold again.” 

That was the last thing the Omega said.

Yuri didn’t know how to interpret the response. He expected tears. Expected outrage. Expected a different reaction than the one he got. Everything about it felt wrong. Off. 

_Do you not care about me anymore?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Viktor, you're a dumbass. Chris, good luck with that. 
> 
> Next chapter: The storm arrives.
> 
> As always, follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites for spoilers, updates, and my usual sobbing over how much Viktor and Yuuri love each other.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was difficult to write because of the layers of emotions there. Thank you all for your kind reviews. I appreciate every one of them.
> 
> Chapter Warnings:
> 
> ***Three star warning: We're continuing the story of how Nika was born. Nothing too descriptive here, but brief mentions of torture, rape, punishments, etc. Rating is strictly because of the content. A summary will be provided at the end for those who do not feel comfortable with reading that sort of material. A bunch of stars will indicate when it is safe to read again.
> 
> *One star warnings: Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, warped perception. In general, Yuuri has a really rough night and kind of falls apart. Dealing with the idea of Yuri leaving the hospital. Again, nothing too bad (I don't think), but read slowly if needed.

**_Yuri Plisetsky Announces Return to Figure Skating_ **

_Former Grand Prix Gold Medalist and Russian National Gold Medalist, Yuri Plisetsky (18), has announced his intent to return to professional figure skating after a two year hiatus, according to the Russian Figure Skating Federation. Plisetsky is the youngest Grand Prix Senior Men’s champion, earning his gold medal at age 15._

_Plisetsky went missing after the 2017 World Championships along with the Grand Prix Silver Medalist and Japanese National Gold Medalist Yuuri Katsuki (26) in Saint Petersburg, Russia. Police announced Plisetsky and Katsuki were found two months ago in Moscow. The two have been in the hospital since their recovery._

_Yakov Feltsman, Plisetsky’s former coach, announced that he will once again take on his former student upon his release from the hospital, adding the Plisetsky has the “fire and determination to once again excel at the sport.” He further went on to comment that they were “grateful to learn that the former gold medalist had not suffered any substantial injuries that would prevent him from returning to the sport.”_

_Feltsman did not reveal what hospital Plisetsky is currently staying at in Moscow. When asked for further comment on Plisetsky’s health, his former coach said that more details would be revealed later. Feltsman also declined to comment on if he knew the whereabouts or condition of Katsuki._

_When asked if Plisetsky would return for this season, Feltsman said that he was not putting an official date on his student’s return. Many experts speculate that Plisetsky may be eyeing a return at Russian National’s as that will help him qualify for Senior ISU events next year._

_Feltsman is currently in Moscow training Russia’s Living Legend, Viktor Nikiforov, while Katsuki—Nikiforov’s alleged fiancé—recovers at a hospital there. When we tried to reach Nikiforov for a statement about Katsuki’s health, there was no comment._

 

 

 

_“Thank you for protecting him and keeping him safe.”_

_I didn’t. I failed._

 

-***Two Years Ago, Unknown***-

 

_Pain._

Yuuri couldn’t register much as the sun began to set for the second day, but he could still feel the excruciating pain his torturers inflicted upon him. In his hazy mind, the stinging bite of a whip on his back forced him to confront reality. 

He hadn’t been allowed to properly take a break.

They forced water in his mouth through bruising kisses, but denied him food. His body ached from the abuse it was forced to endure.

As coherency faded, obedience also lacked—resulting in more mistakes. More punishments. Each more painful than the last. He had given them all nicknames to tell them apart. No one had uttered their real names in the confines of the room.

The Quiet One preferred to inflict the punishments rather than rape him. Yuuri could attribute several marks on his body to that one man, including a long cut on his arm. They had loosely bandaged it, but dug their fingers in the wound whenever he stepped out of line before beginning new abuse on his body.

The Strong One contorted his body into several uncomfortable positions. His iron grip left bruises all over his body. Each instance of Physical contact was hard, careless, and left every part of his body aching.

However, neither of them compared to the man who had explained their purpose in the room. The one he’d give anything not to deal with for the rest of his life. Yuuri was certain that at the beginning of the second day, he would have been able to negotiate with the other two.

The Cruel One was not like the others. His commanding presence never waivered. Even as the hours had turned into days, the man had shown no change in his resolve to fully break Yuuri.

He blinked, clearing his fading vision.

The Cruel One lifted his head, forcing him to meet his gaze.

“No one is going to want you when we’re done. Everyone will abandon you, especially your Alpha. He’ll be so disgusted with you that he will leave. You will always be alone.”

_Alone._

Even with the life growing in his belly, Yuuri had a horrible feeling that they would fulfill their words.

“Please don’t take my child from me,” he whispered. His voice raspy due to being dehydrated. “ _Please._ ”

He had yet to beg during their unyielding torture. His request seemed to catch the other two off-guard. However, The Cruel One’s grin grew wider.

“You really want to keep your Alpha’s pup?” 

“Yes,” he whispered. “Please.”

The man holding his chin laughed at his words. The others joined in. Yuuri refused to be embarrassed that he had reduced himself to _begging_ from the monsters currently tormenting him. His mind solely intent on focusing on saving his child. They had targeted his belly to try and get him to react and ruin their experience.

“Our little whore has finally learned how to beg,” The Cruel One Mocked. The others laughed harder at those words. Yuuri held the other man’s gaze.

He would not take back his words.

Yuuri had many regrets in life, but asking for the life of his child would not be one of them.

The Cruel One yanked him forward.

“Beg for me like you begged to save your child.”

Yuuri didn’t have to think twice before obeying the command.

Even though there was no guarantee that it would help save his child’s life.

But he still had to try.

_I’m sorry, baby. I’m not sure either of us will make it._

 **********************************************************

-*Present Day, Hospital*-

 

_“Thank you for protecting him and keeping him safe.”_

The words mocked him.

Yuuri emptied his guts for the fourth time that night. Yura watched him carefully, not saying anything about his current condition.

But he knew what the other wanted to say. Knew that the younger Alpha had questions. Wanted to ask if he was sick because of the news from last night. Today, Yura would be leaving him. Leaving Nika.

Abandoning them to pursue his old life. Yuuri could feel the distance between them grow with each passing second.

His nausea finally passed. Yuuri sank against the pillows of the hospital bed, worn out and fighting off dizziness. Yura kept his distance even though all he wanted was the comfort of the younger Alpha.

“Yura,” he whined. Normally he’d have more control over his Omega’s needs. But not with the nightmares kept attacking him. Yuuri couldn’t stop them so all he could do was cling to the person who had provided him with stability for two years.

The one who was abandoning him. Just like those men had said all that time ago.

He didn’t realize until then, but they had broken him. Created him to always be alone.

_Eventually Nika and Viktor will abandon you too._

The teen crawled into bed, offering his neck. Yuuri nuzzled it, breathing in the other’s scent greedily. His head throbbed, body ached, and none of it was getting better.

“This has nothing to do with you,” Yuuri whispered into the other’s skin. “I keep dreaming about those days.”

Yura’s sharp intake of breath told him no other explanation was needed. They both tried to forget what had happened, but it was always present.

“You have to get better,” the teen grumbled. “I can’t help you with shit like this anymore.”

His heart ached.

_Yura’s really abandoning us._

“I know. I’m trying.”

Was he though? If he was trying, shouldn’t he be getting better not worse? His nightmares had increased. Back in the compound, there wasn’t time to dream. Not for him. Since regaining his freedom, he still lived in the confines of that hellhole in his mind.

So much time had passed, but there was barely any progress on his end. Yura was actually moving on—recovering.

He was staying still. The most significant thing he had done was tell Viktor a little about his life in the compound. But even that was devoid of specifics.

“Are you sure it’s not about me?” Yura asked quietly.

“Of course not,” he whispered. “I’m proud of you.”

The words felt empty.

Yura held him tight. Strong. Secure. Reliable.

_And leaving._

His mind wouldn’t let him forget that fact.

 

-*Yuri*-

 

He clung to the Omega, trying to remain calm in spite of the situation unfolding before him. Katsuki was falling apart. Not entirely unexpected, but there were only a few hours left before he’d be leaving to start his life again.

Katsuki had to pull himself together or else they both weren’t going to make it.

And he desperately wanted to move on from the pain they had known for over two years. They couldn’t keep doing things the way they had before.

Hot liquid fell against his skin. It took him a moment to register that Katsuki was crying.

_Fuck._

“Katsuki,” he said.

“I know,” the Omega whispered brokenly. “I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.”

The older male repeated those three words several more times. He wasn’t sure whom the other was trying to convince.

But every repetition saddled him with more guilt.

 

-Present Day, Rink-

 

Viktor arrived for practice at the crack of dawn. He hadn’t slept well. Something had felt off the entire night, butt he couldn’t place the feeling. When he showed up at the rink, he hadn’t expected the frenzy of paparazzi waiting for him. There were more than yesterday.

“Mister Nikiforov, how do you feel about Yuri Plisetsky announcing his return to competitive figure skating?”

“Mister Nikiforov, will your alleged fiancé also be released from the hospital soon?” 

“Which hospital is Mister Katsuki staying in?”

“What condition is your so-called fiancé in? Why hasn’t he released a statement regarding his health?”

He froze. Yurio was returning to competitive figure skating? When had that been announced? Viktor had avoided social media due to the invasive questions piling his public accounts. He couldn’t answer them or keep up with the thousands of requests for answers. 

Viktor couldn’t avoid commenting on Yurio’s return. He could skirt around the other questions easily, but that one had to be addressed. 

“Yuri is an accomplished skater. I know how hard he’ll work to make a full comeback after being away. When he sets his mind on accomplishing something, he’s been able to do that and more. I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes back better than ever.” 

“Do you know anything about Mister Plisetsky’s health or condition?”

“I don’t,” he answered. It was mostly true. Their last meeting had been too soon after the rescue. The boy had lost a significant amount of weight, but looked to be in fairly good condition otherwise.

“What about your alleged fiancé? Fans are speculating that Mister Katsuki is in grave condition given how quiet you’ve been on him.” 

“My fiancé is recovering. He is not on the brink of death. Outside of that statement, it is not my place to comment further on his health without his permission.” 

“And you claim to be his Alpha?” one reporter scoffed. Viktor gripped his bag tighter. “You don’t need his permission to give us _something_ else to report. His fans want to know his progress in recovering.”

He took in a deep breath. “Yuuri is my equal in our relationship. I would never reveal information about him without permission. His fans know how private my fiancé is about his personal life. They should be satisfied to know that he is recovering and continues to make progress every day. Now if you’ll excuse me, my coach doesn’t appreciate being kept waiting.”

Viktor brushed past the press, despite them asking several more questions regarding both Yurio and his beloved. Deep inside, he was seething.

How dare they reduce his relationship with Yuuri to their dynamics? Hadn’t they shown their love was so much more than that?

Handling those unsavory questions with the press had put him in a foul mood. Yakov, it seemed, was in a similar state. Viktor knew that they wouldn’t be very productive today—but he still had to get out on the ice. He had to skate off some of his frustrations.

Viktor put on his skates and began his warm up without being told. Yakov was glued to his phone, texting someone frequently during this time. He thought it was odd that his coach was distracted. Usually it was the opposite situation.

He would have demanded information regarding the conversation, but decided to get lost in his programs instead. Once he was sufficiently warmed up, Viktor took center ice—positioning himself for the beginning of his free skate.

At this point, he felt more than confident in his short program. The ending of the free skate still bothered him. Even without the actual music playing in the rink, Viktor still heard every note in his head.

As he approached the part where he had struggled, Viktor thought of the small victory yesterday. Yuuri _trusting_ him. Yuuri opening up to him. Yuuri telling him the truth of what happened during a horrific period of both their lives. 

No, Viktor would never get the Yuuri he once knew back, but he still loved the person his fiancé had become in their time apart. He admired the deep strength the love of his life had shown him over the weeks of them trying to reconnect.

Things between them weren’t the same. Would take time before things fell back into place, but Viktor _knew_ they would fall in time eventually. Nothing could convince him otherwise.

He transitioned from a combination spin to his final pose. Viktor breathed out. His mind instantly replayed the final moments of the program. Something had felt different about that attempted.

“Vitya,” Yakov said. He turned his attention to his coach—who had put away the cell phone.

“I know it’s different than what we had planned,” he began.

Yakov held up a hand to stop him from speaking. “That was what your program was missing.”

His eyes widened, not expected that reaction from the older male. However, he wasn’t surprised. Viktor had felt the difference in the program.

“Skate it again.”

So he did. 

After the second run-through, he allowed himself to smile.

_You will always be my inspiration, Yuuri._

 

-Hospital, Yuri-

 

Yuri kept glancing at the clock. Every second that ticked by a reminder of the fate that was about to happen. Viktor hadn’t visited today. Probably for the best, in his opinion.

Katsuki hadn’t done well during the day. He hadn’t been able to stomach anything. Yuri knew the Omega was frustrated by his setback. Whatever had trigged the older male hadn’t gone away. 

Even as evening settled, Katsuki was still fighting against the hold that day had over him. The Omega always amazed him with his strength. To battle against the demons for even a short period was exhausting for Yuri. Here was someone who had been grappling with them all damn day and was still determined to not the demons win.

Yuri could see the exhaustion settling in as the day turned into evening. To avoid the potential of being trailed by the press, Yakov had arranged for him to leave the hospital after normal visiting hours were over. He shifted in anticipation of being able to leave.

Nika crawled over toward him as Katsuki tossed fitfully in a light sleep. The toddler pulled himself so his head rested his chest. His heart beat faster. Yuri wasn’t just leaving one person behind. He was leaving another one too.

He tried not to akin his departure as abandoning the two, but couldn’t help the guilt from forming anyway. 

Yuri wrapped his arms against the toddler, letting Nika relax fully in his embrace. The child had an attachment to hearing their heartbeats whenever possible. They always indulged him since it helped calm Nika. 

“You’ll look after Katsuki, right?” he asked the toddler. Nika tried to press himself closer to Yuri. He smiled at the gesture.

The remainder of his time at the hospital was spent curled up at Katsudon’s side, clinging to the toddler who he would give the entire would to if he could.

 

-*Yuuri*-

 

He had vowed to see Yura off. No matter what state he was in, Yuuri couldn’t let the teen go without know just how much he meant to both of them. The teen’s grandpa had come up to the room to drop off a change of clothes before taking care of the discharge papers.

Yura rushed off to the bathroom to change while he brought himself to the edge of the bed to walk with them to the elevators at least. He didn’t know how far he’d actually make it. His stomach churned at the movement. 

_Stay calm_.

“What the hell are you doing, Katsuki?” Yura snapped.

“I’m getting out of bed.”

“Why?” 

He met the teen’s gaze. “To see you off.” 

“You’ve been sick all day. You need to rest.”

“I’m seeing you off,” he reaffirmed. His tone steady. They continued to glare at each other for several moments. Yuuri noticed the clothes on the teen Alpha were slightly too big. A plain t-shirt and skinny jeans with a black hoodie.

He couldn’t remember the last time he saw Yura in regular clothes. What had they been wearing when they were taken?

_It doesn’t matter._

“Fine,” Yura bit out finally. “But you’re not walking the entire way. I’ll see about getting you a wheelchair or something.” 

He nodded. It would be pointless to argue that he could make it far enough to see the teen off. Yuuri was well aware of his physical weakness right now. He stood on shaky legs. His entire body felt heavy from lack of sleep.

No matter what though, he’d make the trip to see Yura off. Nika held on to the hem of his hospital gown. A blanket thrown over his shoulders to keep him warm enough as they walked through the building. 

Yura came back several minutes later. Two nurses in tow. One with a wheelchair and another to help him walk down the hall. Yuuri turned to the teen and smiled.

“Are you ready to go see your family?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

The journey was slow. Yuuri felt incredibly guilty for holding everyone back, but he _would_ make the trip. Walking to the elevator took everything out of him. He resigned himself to sit in the chair while they were waiting for the lift to arrive on their floor.

Nika silently begged Yura to be picked up. The teen obliged without hesitation. The toddler buried his face in the Alpha’s neck.

The rest of the journey was faster due to Yuuri not slowing them down. As they went down to the final level of the parking garage though, he could feel uncertainty bubbling again. Especially when he caught sight of Yakov Feltsman.

Something felt off about the older man.

He wanted to pull Yura close and tell him not to go. But he couldn’t do that to the teen.

Yura was free to live his life as he saw fit. Yuuri wouldn’t be the one to tell him otherwise.

That didn’t erase the unease he felt around the long-time coach. He probably would never be able to articulate the feeling to others without it sounding paranoid. So he kept his mouth shut, a small smile plastered on his face. The teen hugged his grandpa and explained the situation in his native tongue.

After a few minutes of the conversation excluding him, Yura turned toward him. “Grandpa won’t tell anyone about your condition or son.” 

The words were too formal for what was happening between them. “I wasn’t worried about him speaking to the press,” he said softly.

Yura placed Nika in his arms. The toddler reached out to try and go back into the Alpha’s embrace. However, the teen merely ruffled the child’s hair before turning his back and walking out of the automatic doors with Yakov and his grandpa. 

Never once looking back.

Before the final door shut, Nika let out a loud cry. It echoed in the vacant hallways. Tears rolled down the toddler’s face as he attempted to worm his way out of Yuuri’s hold. To run toward the person who had been their rock over many painful months.

He held firm.

No matter how much he also wanted to follow after the teen, Yuuri had to be strong.

He had to let Yura go.

 

-Yuri-

 

He heard the cry coming from Nika. It had been impossible not to. The sound of a child’s heart breaking almost caused him to turn back. However, he continued to walk toward the car waiting for them. His grandpa opened the door for him. 

Yuri slipped inside. How long had it been since he had been in a vehicle. Yakov nodded in greeting. When they were all securely fastened, the car started moving forward. His eyes followed the hospital doors where Katsuki and Nika were last seen.

Nika’s cries echoed in his ears. 

He knew leaving would be painful. He never imagined how hard it really would be though.

“Here’s a new phone with all your old contacts and photos,” his grandpa handed him. He took the device. It was bigger than his last phone. Heavier too. But decorated in the same ways as before.

“Thank you,” he whispered. 

“Don’t thank me. Thank Mister Feltsman.” 

He muttered his appreciation to his coach, who merely grunted in reply. His grandpa also handed him a pair of ear buds. Yuri plugged them in to listen to his old music.

And hopefully drown out the surging guilt he felt over leaving those two behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****Three star summary****  
> Basically end of the second day of Yuuri being tortured, assaulted, and raped. One attacker feeds him the lie that Yuuri will forever be alone because he's tainted. Yuuri starts to believe this one. Also, Yuuri begs for them not to do further harm to his and Viktor's unborn child. But they make no such promises in return.
> 
> (I really want these bastards to die)
> 
> As always, come find me on Twitter @LadyMWrites to follow the progress on this story.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support for the last chapter. You are all amazing and I appreciate every one of you. I finished this chapter early and couldn't wait to share it with you guys.
> 
> Keep in mind throughout this chapter, there's all sorts of depression, anxiety, and just emotional things the characters have to deal with.
> 
> That said, **two star warning** for flashbacks and a meltdown.
> 
> *leaves tissues for everyone*

-Present Day, Plisetsky Household-

 

Yuri walked through the door to his grandpa’s home in a haze. Was he really here? It felt like a dream he’d had many time while in the compound. The familiar scents in the house helped him processes that this was _real_. His grandpa led him to the room he had stayed in previously. Nothing had changed from the years. 

“I figured you’d want to stay in a familiar room.”

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’m going to start on dinner.”

Yuri stood outside the room a little longer before walking inside. He laid down on the bed and closed his eyes. Blissful silence.

Until Nika’s cries began again. 

He tried to think about _anything_ else with no success. Yuri curled up and plugged his ears. 

 _Stop, Nika. Stop crying. I have to do this. I have to move on with my life._  

A loud mewl disrupted Yuri’s thoughts. He opened his eyes to see Potya in front of his face. She nuzzled his face. He reached out to pet her soft fur. A smile stretched across his lips.

“I missed you. Did Lilia take good care of you?”

She continued to rub against him. Yuri held her tight. She didn’t try to get away from him. Instead, laid down right in front of his face. He didn’t mind. 

Holding his cat, being in his grandpa’s home felt _normal_. Like the last two years couldn’t reach him here. 

_I’m safe here._

It was the last thought he had before dozing off to the first dreamless sleep since before being kidnapped.

 

-Hospital, Yuuri-

 

He paced the room, holding Nika tightly in his arms. The toddler wouldn’t stop crying now that Yura was gone. Guilt ate at him.

_I shouldn’t have brought him to see Yura off._

Yuuri had made his choice though and he couldn’t take it back just because he had regrets. A nurse walked in the room, seeing him up. 

“You need to rest.”

“I’m fine,” he insisted. 

“Please,” she said. “You look like you’re going to fall over any second.” 

He felt that way too. The sole fact that his son was still unsettled was more than enough to keep him going. Yuuri _had_ to do this. He couldn’t rely on others to help him with Nika.

“Just a little longer,” he whispered.

She gave him a disbelieving glance. He returned to pacing around the room.

_Everything will be fine, Nika. I’ll take care of you until you leave me too._

 

-**Yuri**-

 

“Yuri,” he heard in the haze of his slumber.

His grandpa woke him by gently calling his name. Yuri jumped slightly before realizing who it was. 

“Grandpa,” he muttered. He turned to see his grandpa standing outside of the door frame, not blocking him in the room.

“Dinner is ready.” 

He sat up; more alert now that there was the promise of food. Slowly, he untangled himself from Potya. She didn’t mind him pushing her aside so he could eat. His grandpa had returned to the dining room where a pile of pirozhki in the middle of the table.

“I made katsudon pirozhki,” his grandpa said.

Yuri smiled.

Everything was normal here.

Safe.

He sat down. Two of the meat pies were already on his plate, waiting for him to consume. His grandpa had made them slightly larger than he remembered.

Not that he was complaining. He took a bite. It was better than he remembered. Then again, it had been over two years without his grandpa’s cooking. 

Yuri finally felt at home again. 

His grandpa sat in silence, eating his own food. They never made much conversation before—preferring to revel in each other’s company than spoil the time with idle chatter.

Their relationship always went beyond what they could express with words.

He wouldn’t have it any other way either.

Yuri didn’t hold back, eating the food quickly. If he didn’t eat fast, the food would disappear on him. His grandpa ate slower than him. He watched and waited. His stomach wanted more of the delicious food.

However, he didn’t want to entertain the idea of getting seconds.

His grandpa picked up on his longing. "You don't have to hold back around me, Yuri. Eat as much as you want." 

Permission given, Yuri reached for another pirozhki, hand trembling. His mind went back to how the guards would torment them at meal times. They'd ask who wanted seconds—everyone did.

They were starving.

The guards would throw a single scrap of food and told them to get it. There was always a small group who would fight for that extra bite to eat. At great cost to those around them. Extra food was always a trap.

He made it out without any deformities because he didn't play their stupid games.

He couldn't afford to. Yuri had Katsuki and Nika to look out for in the compound. They had to survive. Fighting for food was not survival. It was primal and barbaric. People clawing, biting, and beating brutally just for something extra. He couldn't let that be him. He couldn't sink to the level that they wanted him to.

_Because Katsuki and Nika need me._

If Yuri took extra, he’d have to fight for it. If he didn’t win, he might not see those two again.

_It’s a trap._

He withdrew his hand. They had almost gotten to him. They almost temped him into doing something stupid. Yuri wasn’t going to be fooled. Couldn’t be fooled. Not if he was going to survive. 

The pile of pirozhki sat there, tantalizing him. It was meant to lure him in. He understood now. They had upped their game. 

“Yuri?”

He looked up at the person who called his name. Eyes unfocused. His mind barely registered that it wasn’t a guard. But he couldn’t place the voice. Yuri looked back down, staring at the plate in front of him. 

Where was he again? 

He couldn’t remember.

The plate wasn’t something he had when working in the field.

A pirozhki made its way in front of him. He looked up to see his grandpa’s retreating arm. 

“Eat,” his grandpa encouraged. 

“I can’t,” he answered. His voice sounded distant. Was it really him speaking?

“Why can’t you?”

“I’m not going to play your game.”

The man across from him frowned. “What game?”

“I’m not going to fight to the death for a little extra food,” he answered.

“You don’t have to fight for this. This is free.” 

Yuri scoffed. “You think I’m stupid enough to believe that? I _know_ what you’re up to. I’m not someone you can manipulate.”

“Yuri? Do you know where you are?”

_I don’t know. I have to figure it out so I can escape._

He chose not to answer.

“Yuri, you’re not in that place. You’re at your grandpa’s home.”

He slammed his fist on the table. “Don’t you fucking lie to me!” Yuri shouted. “I know exactly where I am!” 

His eyes widened.

_Shit. I yelled at them._

He pulled away from the table, cowering. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Please don’t hurt him. Please hurt me instead” 

“Yuri, I’m not going to hurt either of you.”

“Please, he doesn’t deserve to be hurt because of me.”

His grandpa reached toward him. If he let the hand touch him, it’d hurt him. 

_I have to accept this so they don’t hurt Katsuki and Nika._

No blows came though. Nothing happened. The touch jolted him. Slowly, he came to realize that he wasn’t in the compound. 

He couldn’t stop the tears from falling. 

“I’m sorry grandpa,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry too.” 

“May I go back to my room?” 

“Of course.”

They didn’t say anything else. He walked to his room, looking over to his shoulder to make sure the older man wasn’t following him. Yuri went inside the room and closed the door behind him.

It did nothing to bring back the same feeling of security he had before.

Yuri crawled back into bed, wrapping himself tight in the blanket. He faced the door. They wouldn’t catch him off guard.

His attempt to sleep came with a slew of nightmares.

 

-Hotel, Viktor-

 

“Viktor,” Chris began. 

They were enjoying after a grueling day of practice at the rink. With the choreography for his free program done, Yakov had nothing but critiques on how to better refine it. Things were almost returning to normal in that regard. 

_At least one part of my life isn’t in shambles._

He put down his phone to give his undivided attention to Chris. “Yes?”

“We need to talk.”

He frowned. “About what?” 

A weary sigh. “Several things, but I mostly need to know what you expect of me while I’m here.”

“I don’t understand.”

His friend took a sip of the chilled rosé they had ordered with dinner. “I came to be your support. However, I don’t know how to support you when you’re constantly running away from your problems. I know things are tough for you and Yuuri, but you _have_ to start being honest with him in order to move forward and heal. Both of you need to heal. I can offer you support if you’re going to work on actually fixing your relationship. Otherwise, it’s a waste of my time to be here.”

Viktor took in a deep breath. “I know.”

“Do you though? You seem perfectly content with letting things be right now. What are you going to do when you no longer have competitive skating to hide behind?”

He didn’t want to have this conversation. Not right now. Viktor stood up. “I’m going for a walk.” 

“You’re running again, Viktor. Why are you so afraid of being honest with Yuuri and me?”

Viktor took another deep breath. “I can’t handle this.”

“What can’t you handle?”

“Chris,” he said harshly.

“What can’t you handle?” Chris repeated. 

He bit his lip. Thought about his word choice. There were so many things he wanted to say, but wasn’t sure if it would make any sense. Especially since his best friend and only support right now was going to leave if he didn’t come up with a good reason.

_Chris is pushing for honesty._

So he decided to give it a shot. “I’m afraid that if I’m completely honest about how much the last two years affected me, Yuuri won’t want me anymore. He suffered more than I did. But I didn’t know if he was alive or dead. I knew he was pregnant when he left and not being there for him during that time hurt so much. Seeing Nika now, I can’t begin to comprehend how much he’s had to endure alone. 

“I feel like I have no right to bring up my troubles or concerns when I know how much he’s hurting. It’s easier for me to push myself aside and take care of him because that’s what I do best. I can pretend I’m not broken. I can pretend to be happy. But I can’t let his suffering be marginalized.”

There was a long silence. He shifted uncomfortably waiting for a response.

“Has Yuuri told you that he doesn’t want to hear about your problems?” Chris asked.

“What? Of course not!” 

“Then why do you believe he wouldn’t want to hear about your concerns too? You told the press you two are equal in your relationship. If he’s your equal, then he will be okay with hearing how much you’ve been hurting.”

“But his—” he began. 

“His trauma is real and will impact your relationship, but yours is too. It won’t do you any good to push forward only addressing his problems.” 

Viktor couldn’t breathe very well. Why did it feel like Chris was against him? 

“Let me be clear, Viktor, I’m not trying to hurt you more. I want to know what your plan is going forward. You both have a lot to overcome and I believe you can. But you have to acknowledge that Yuuri isn’t the only one with problems that need to be fixed and work on them.”

“I can’t do that. Not right now. I need to know that he’s safe from harm and will be forever!” Viktor answered. 

He waited for Chris to respond to his words. One moment.

Then two.

Viktor didn’t want to hear what Chris had to say. He expected to listen to the other’s response though.

“So are you giving up on yourself?” Chris asked quietly.

He ran a hand through his hair. “No, of course not.” 

“Then why can’t you fight to be an equal partner in your relationship with Yuuri, Viktor? Why are you letting him become your voice too?”

He didn’t have an answer for that.

His past decisions with Yuuri came easy. They were the logical next step.

Nothing about what had happened in the last two years fit into place of what was going to be in their lives.

 _But that’s the problem, isn’t it? You’re wanting what should have been._  

He would never be able to get that timeline back.

Viktor felt strong arms wrap around him. It took him a second to realize he was crying. 

“It’s okay to mourn for what could have been,” Chris said gently. “But it can’t keep you from what is now. Your future with Yuuri has to account for everything that has happened to both of you. I know it hurts to have to rewrite what you’ve always envisioned. You will get your happy ending, Viktor. It’s just going to take a while.”

A happy ending.

Viktor desperately wanted to fight for that conclusion.

 

-Hospital, Yuuri-

 

Exhaustion finally won. Yuuri laid in the hospital bed. Nika had an ear pressed against his heart. He held on to his son. His hospital gown still wet with tears. The toddler had finally fallen asleep after crying for three hours non-stop. 

He was afraid to sleep though. What if Nika woke up and was inconsolable again? They were alone now. Yura had left them. Viktor wasn’t around. They were still stuck in a room—even if it was slightly different. No one was coming for them.

Yuuri had two choices.

He could wait for someone to come for them. It was the easy option to consider. Viktor was going to be there for them eventually. But there was no guarantee things will go back to how they were before. Their relationship currently hung in the balance. He wanted everything to work out. However, Yuuri couldn’t think about himself.

He had Nika to care about as well.

In the compound, they didn’t see Yura every day. But his son always knew the teenager was nearby. Yet Nika had _known_ there was a sense of finality with last night’s goodbye.

Yuuri couldn’t bear to see his son’s heart broken like that again. He had to protect the toddler from any more suffering.

Which left one choice.

He would have to become independent for them. To keep both their lives from crumbling again.

_What about Viktor?_

Eventually he would be discharged from the hospital and it would be inevitable that he’d end up in Viktor’s care until they could return to Hasetsu. He still loved Viktor. However, he was uncertain that the other still cared for him. Despite all the words spoken to him, Yuuri couldn’t help but feel like they were said out of obligation because they were tied together by Nika.

 _I was trained_.

He could accept Viktor’s help and affection until he could become stronger. _They_ had taught him how to receive anything given to him.

_I was broken._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites so you can have your heart broken one snippet from this fic at a time.


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovely readers. I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to get this chapter out. It's been a long battle to get this written. I appreciate every comment I've received.
> 
> Warnings this chapter? None.
> 
> (Note: chapter is completely unedited)

-Present Day, Plisetsky Household-

 

Yuri woke slowly. His entire body felt heavy. He was still wrapped tight in the blankets. Potya curled up in front of him, still asleep. Beyond his closed door, he could hear the sounds of movement. Instantly, he tensed at the noises.

_Where am I?_

His mind replayed the events of the previous day. He was at his grandpa’s house. Where he should’ve been safe.

But the memories of the compound had managed to find him here too. A place that was supposed to be his refuge. A chance for him to start over.

Ruined. Tainted.

_How long will I be bound by the past?_

 

-Present Day, Viktor-

 

It was late morning. He had just finished practice for the day and was no available to spend time with Chris before going to visit Yuuri later today. His friend insisted on going shopping. Normally, this would have been a fun experience for him. However, today he took a backseat to Chris’ agenda.

He gave input on outfits, but tried nothing on for himself. It wasn’t until they were scouring for a place to eat when he caught sight of a store that captured his interest. Viktor paused, looking at the clothing displayed in the window.

Clothing for toddlers and babies. 

Chris bumped into him. He looked at his friend. “Want to go in?” Chris asked. 

He nodded.

They entered the store. His eyes darted around, taking in everything before him.

“Welcome!” the saleswoman greeted. “Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Viktor realized he didn’t know what he would need. He had just gone in on a whim. 

“We’re just browsing, thanks.” Thank god for Chris.

“Let me know if you have any questions.”

Another customer entered the store. The saleswoman greeted them in the same fashion and got a similar response.

They wandered around the store. Viktor looked at different sets of clothes for boys. Every time thinking about how utterly adorable Nika would look in each of them. The problem was that he didn’t even know his son’s size. He knew that his child was on the smaller side, but couldn’t even begin to guess what clothing he would need. Realization struck him.

Yuuri and Nika had the potential to be released from the hospital at any moment. He had _nothing_ for their child.

“Chris,” he breathed softly.

“Yes?”

“I have nothing for my son at home. The spare room needs to be cleaned. We need to decorate.”

“Let me take care of all that.”

He tensed. “Everything?”

“I assume you’ll be returning to Saint Petersburg soon after he’s released, yes?” 

Viktor nodded. 

“So all you’ll need are a few outfits, diapers, wipes, food, and a car seat. I can have everything else delivered and set up to your place for when you get home. Please, let me take care of this.” 

He let out a deep breath. “Okay. But you’re using my card.”

“But of course,” Chris said with a wink. “I’m not as rich as you.”

“I’ll figure out what size he is when I go to the hospital later so clothing will be easier to choose.” 

“Okay. How about we get him a toy and a book while we’re here?”

Viktor nodded and began looking at the selection available. He eventually chose what was one of his favorite books as a child and Chris chose a doodle board. They paid for their items separately and the saleswoman said nothing about who they were.

They exited the store and put the purchases in the trunk of the car before heading to a restaurant for lunch—unaware of the press that had been following them the entire time.

 

-Present Day, Yuri-

 

He shook his leg anxiously as he waited in the lobby of Doctor Luski’s office. His therapy appointment came before he would visit the ice rink with Yakov. He wanted to skip this part and go straight to practice. However, his grandpa wouldn’t let him miss one appointment.

Yuri knew why. However, he didn’t feel like talking about it. He just wanted to move on with his life. Talking about what happened was keeping him stuck in the past. He didn’t want to be there anymore. What he experienced in the compound wouldn’t define him.

“Mister Plisetsky, come in.” 

He followed the older man into an office. Once they were settled, Doctor Luski took a single glance at him.

“It looks like you have a rough night.”

He shrugged.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“Not really.”

“Have you begun training yet?”

“No. I’m scheduled to take a look at the rink this afternoon and do some light exercises to get me back in shape. I just want to be back on the ice. I know who I am on the ice and know what I can do.”

“Do you know who you are off the ice?”

Yuri thought about the question for a long time. “Not really. Not anymore. I know I’m not the same, but I don’t want to be defined by what happened to me back then.” 

“What makes you afraid that’s all people will see from you?”

“The press,” he answered. “They’ll spin some shit about how I’m brave for returning and all that. I’m not. I’m just trying to find myself again.”

“Have you reached out to any of your old friends?”

He scoffed. “This may come as a shock, but I didn’t have many of those.” 

“But you had at least one person you could talk to, yes?”

His mind drifted toward Otabek. Would he even want to talk to him after all this time? 

“Yeah.” 

“Try and reach out. Friends are great for helping reclaim portions of our identity, especially ones that were your support before this event.”

He nodded. “Okay. I can do that.”

_I hope he still cares._

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

 

He didn’t miss the dark circles underneath his Yuuri’s eyes. The love of his life sleeping peacefully, unaware of his presence. It was afternoon. Viktor had decided that avoiding going to the hospital was no longer an option. After talking things over with Chris, he _knew_ progress wouldn’t be made unless he was finally honest with himself first and then with his fiancé.

What he hadn’t anticipated was Yuuri still being asleep during the day. A nurse had stopped by to perform a routine check. It was then she told him neither his fiancé or son had slept well that night. He could see the physical remnants of her statement.

Nika slowly began to stir. His blue eyes blinked twice before focusing his gaze solely on Viktor. A smile spread across his lips as his heart melted at the sight of the toddler slowly waking up. His son was adorable.

He could see the recognition in his son’s eyes. However, unlike before, Nika did not reach out to him. Instead, the toddler remained glued to Yuuri’s body.

The lack of action hurt more than he thought it would. However, he wasn’t going to force his son to accept his affection. “Good afternoon, Nika.” The toddler continued to stare at him. “I heard you and Yuuri didn’t sleep well last night.” 

He reached a hand to touch his son. Fingers gently went through his son’s soft hair. Nika whined at the action. Viktor didn’t stop though. He wanted to know that both of them were going to be okay. 

“Viktor,” he heard. The voice laden with sleepiness and hoarse. However, he knew who it belonged.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up, love.” 

He turned his attention to Yuuri. His fiancé shook his head. “No, Nika’s movements woke me up.”

The toddler, noting that the other was awake now, scooted up and buried his face in Yuuri’s neck. His fiancé rubbed the child’s back soothingly. Something had changed between now and the last time he saw his family. 

“How are you?” Yuuri asked quietly.

“I’m okay,” Viktor answered. “It’s been a long week.” His fiancé nodded in acknowledgement of his words. “How are you?” 

“Tired, but I’ll be okay.”

“Do you want to talk about last night?” he asked gently. “A nurse told me that you two didn’t sleep well.” 

Yuuri sucked in a deep breath. “Yura left. He’s been discharged.”

“Oh,” he breathed. “How are you handling it?” 

“I’m okay. Nika’s had a harder time than I anticipated.” 

“I brought Nika a couple of presents.”

He put the shopping bags on the side of the bed and let Yuuri open them for his son. First, his fiancé pulled out the book.

“That’s mine. It was a favorite of mine growing up.”

“Look, Nika, papa bought you a new book. We’ll have to read it together.”

The toddler lifted his head at the new object and pointed at it before saying something unintelligible.

“That’s right,” Yuuri encouraged. “It was papa’s favorite book.” 

There were more babbling attempts at words. Nika turned his attention to the second bag and whined while pointing at it.

“Nika, use your words,” Viktor encouraged softly. Even if they weren’t real words, he wanted his son to practice speech as much as possible. His son vocally responded and stretched his short arm toward the bag. However, he refused to leave Yuuri’s chest to get the present.

His fiancé pulled out the object of the second bag, the doodle pad. Nika looked confused at the object.

“That’s from Chris.”

Nika shifted to turn around more while Yuuri showed him how to use the doodle pad. The toddler practiced scribbling and erasing what was there.

“You’ll thank him for me, yes?” Yuuri said softly.

“Of course,” Viktor answered. “I had a couple of questions.”

Yuuri nodded, indicating that it was okay to ask them.

“Do you know what size Nika is and his weight? I want to get him some clothes and a car seat for when…”

_When we are able to be a family again._

The words didn’t make it out, but his fiancé understood.

“I don’t know for sure,” Yuuri answered honestly.

“We can help answer that,” a new voice said. It was Yuuri’s doctor. “We’ll get him measured and weighed so you can buy what you need. I wanted to talk to both of you about the timeline for your discharge. Do you mind if one of the nurses takes care of your son while we speak?” 

Yuuri shifted. “If he’ll cooperate.” His fiancé encouraged his son to go with the nurse in the room. Nika started crying the moment they were separated.

“I’ll be fast,” the nurse promised. 

The doctor sat down in a chair nearby. “You have steadily improving and we feel have made enough progress to tentatively leave two weeks from now. We want to see you walk some more and of course gain a little more weight. As with all patients who come out of these type of situations, we encourage you to continue with counseling. Of course, we want you to regularly check in with a doctor in Saint Petersburg, especially given your past pregnancy history.” 

Viktor sucked in a deep breath. He didn’t know much about it. Yuuri flinched at the words too. What had happened?

“I’ll make all the necessary appointments,” Viktor said reassuringly.

“As for your son, we recommend educational toys. Read to him as much as possible, help him pronounce words, and continue with the diet we have him on right now until he’s adjusted to his new home. Then start introducing him to newer and different foods.”

The nurse returned with Nika, who was still crying. Upon reentering the room, he immediately started struggling and reaching toward Yuuri. Viktor felt his heart break. He didn’t know how to help his son right now. Clearly, Yurio’s leaving affected him more than he would’ve thought.

It hurt.

Nika saw Yurio as a parent too.

 

\----------------

Published By: Ice Skating Gossip Magazine

 

**_Russia’s National Hero, Viktor Nikiforov, Spotted Going Into Baby Boutique: Does He Have a Secret Love Child?_ **

 

_After his regularly scheduled practice, Living Legend Viktor Nikiforov was spotted with his best friend, Christophe Giacommetti shopping. The two entered a baby boutique toward the end of their excursion and proceeded to browse the shop for at least an hour. Nikiforov specifically looked at clothing for boys._

_A source said that Nikiforov mentioned that he had a son who was still in the hospital. Which begs the question if Russia’s National Hero has been keeping a secret lover on the side who has now given birth. Sources indicate that there is no way the child could biologically belong to that of his alleged fiancé, Yuuri Katsuki._

_Katsuki went missing over two years ago and was only recently relocated. The location and condition of Katsuki has been kept secret, which has led many to believe that he is in such bad condition that he will not recover for a long time._

_During the period that Katsuki was missing, it was speculated many times that Nikiforov had a string of lovers and one-night stands in his alleged fiancé’s absence. Several people have come forward to claim that they helped comfort the world-renowned figure skater during the time of Katsuki’s absence._

_Has Nikiforov told his alleged fiancé of the child he’s fathered and who is the boy’s mother? So far, all inquiries regarding the situation have gone unanswered._

_This is a developing story. Check back later for updates._

 

**_Other Related Headlines:_ **

_Did Viktor Nikiforov Cheat on Yuuri Katsuki?_

_Nikiforov Announces He Has a Son!_

_Is “Viktuuri” Over? Nikiforov Has Fathered a Son._

_Was Yuuri Katsuki Really Rescued?_

_The End of a Dream Pair: Fandom Mourns Over the End of Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki’s Relationship_

_The Shocking Revelation: “I’m the Mother of Viktor Nikiforov’s Son.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, you can find me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter out. It was a pain to write and then my wonderful health issues kept creeping up. I hope the fact that it's 5,000 words makes up for its lateness.
> 
> That said... *hands everyone objects to break, tissues, and chocolate*
> 
> No warnings this chapter.

-Present Day, Hospital-

When the doctor mentioned that Yuuri would be able to go home soon, Viktor’s heart was overjoyed at the thought of having his family home. They could be complete and really begin the next stage of healing for them. To have both of hem in his arms every day brought the most joy he had felt in over two years.

_We’ll be able to build the future we always imagined._

“Viktor, what are you thinking about?” Yuuri asked quietly. 

He directed his attention back to his fiancé and son. Nika’s attention was focused on the doodle pad once again. Yuuri’s eyes met his. Viktor’s heart warmed at the sight. He opened his mouth to answer the question when a flood of vibrations from his phone.

Viktor pulled out the device and began reading each message. Every single one of them was worse than the previous.

Rumors questioning his relationship with Yuuri. The parentage of their son.

_How had they—?_

He thought back to the store he visited with Chris earlier.

_Oh god._

Another vibration.

Chris’ name popped on the screen. He viewed the text.

_Received: Press is out of control. Rumors are you and Yuuri broke up. Child isn't yours. Women claiming to have your baby. Come back._

He couldn’t breathe. His vision grew dark. Viktor blinked, but could feel the waves of panic overtaking his thoughts. What was he going to do? 

“Viktor?” he heard. He snapped to look at Yuuri. The voice that had cut through everything.

_How do I tell him?_

“I have to go.”

Before any questions could be asked, Viktor stood and left the room.

_I’ll explain it to you later. Please understand._

 

-Yuuri-

The news of his release should have excited him. But for Yuuri, it marked a series of unanswered questions. He could play the part of doting fiancé, but for how long? 

He could pretend he was happy and in love, but for how long? And for a few moments, he could believe the lie he and Viktor were living. Yuuri wanted things to work out for them, but how long would they last without addressing any of their problems? They didn’t talk properly, couldn’t communicate.

The problem glaringly stood out to him, but he didn’t know how to address it. He refused to allow himself to rely on their unstable relationship. To him, it spelled disaster.

And Yuuri couldn’t let him or Nika get hurt anymore.

It was easier, he told himself, to detach from the situation. He could pretend, but at the end of the day, Yuuri had to keep a guard around him. This would prevent an inevitable disaster for both him and Viktor.

 _If_ he and Viktor could figure out how to communicate, he would take a chance. Because he knew that they were soul mates. Yuuri just hoped that the past wouldn’t keep them from eventually moving toward a better future.

_Even if that future means we’re not together for a while._

Nika tugged at his hospital gown. He looked down and smiled at his son. The toddler held out the book Viktor bought.

“My Russian is horrible,” Yuuri said softly. His son pushed the book into his hands. He laughed. “All right, but if you learn how to mispronounce the words, don’t tell papa.”

He took the book and began to read as best as he could. His mind went back to the days in Hasetsu. After the Onsen on Ice event, Viktor started to teach him Russian and he returned the favor by teaching his coach Japanese.

They continued the lessons after the move to Saint Petersburg, but he was slower to catch on. Viktor picked up Japanese far quicker than he did Russian. Even then, his fiancé only taught him how to get around town in case they were ever separated.

Those days and late nights spent studying were the type of memories he longed to create once again. He needed them to drown out the haunting nightmares that crippled him daily.

Yuuri already lived with enough regret in his life. He didn’t need any more. But he didn’t know if a happy ending was going to be in his future.

 

-Present Day, Rink- 

Yakov had chosen late in the afternoon for him to begin practice. Yuri knew it was intentional. They didn’t need to draw attention from the media. Not when he was still trying to gain weight and was only beginning training seriously once again.

Yes, he had gained enough weight for him to start training again, but they were closely monitoring his diet to make sure he didn’t lose any additional pounds. The nutritionist gave him a menu plan to stick to, but he found it difficult to stomach most of the frequent snacks required to keep up his strength.

Yuri wanted to eat more. He wanted to be able to begin his full comeback. However, he couldn’t shake the impulse to hide portions of his snacks. His grandpa and Yakov believed he was eating everything.

But in the corner of his closet, there laid a small pile of untouched food. Nothing that would spoil, but the hoard grew daily. He didn’t know when they would stop feeding him. If Katsuki and Nika had gotten enough to eat.

He froze at the thought.

Katsuki and Nika weren’t with him. Not anymore. He didn’t _have_ to look after them, but the instinct to make sure both of them were taken care was still there. His hand brushed over where his own bond mark would go.

Even though they were separated, he could still feel Katsuki. They were never truly separated. He wondered how they were doing. If they were being treated all right. Could he go back to visit them?

Yuri didn’t know. He had _left_ and intended it to be final. He couldn’t go back now.

_But I want to. I need to know if they’re okay._

“Are you going to warm up or sit on the bench forever?” Yakov grumbled.

He dropped his hand and stood. Now was not the time to think about them.

Yuri walked over to the edge of the rink and took off his skate guards. Yakov took them without another word. He stepped out on the ice and a heavy sigh. He had missed this.

A few laps around the rink and he could tell that he was nowhere near the level he used to be.

“Go through your Agape performance. Mark your jumps and spins.”

He didn’t have to be told twice. He wasn’t going to be able to complete the routine at its usual level for a while. They went through his short program over and over again.

His mind remembered every step. He didn’t have to think about the performance. Every memory of refining the program came to the surface. Hours spent at the rink to get just one element _perfect_.

He lifted his arms in the air, panting heavily after his latest practice.

This is where he belonged.

And he would fight to remain on the ice for as long as possible.

“Good,” Yakov said. “Cool down and hydrate.”

He got off the ice and wiped his blades before following his coach’s orders.

_I’m going to be fine if I can continue to be on the ice._

It was the one thing that wasn’t tainted by the past.

 

-Hotel, Viktor-

When he arrived at the hotel, the paparazzi immediately swarmed him. Camera flashes went off all around him.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

“Mister Nikiforov, what is your son’s name?”

“Who is the mother?”

“Have you been cheating on Yuuri Katsuki all this time?”

“Are you no longer engaged?”

“Was Yuuri Katsuki really rescued?”

He kept walking forward, not answering any of their questions at the moment. Chris had told him it was bad, but he never would have predicted the extent of the damage. Several reporters for outlets further away from Moscow were present. Each one of them wanted the scoop.

Viktor made it inside the building.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

It was the last comment he heard before the doors closed behind him. He immediately went to his hotel room. Chris was already waiting for him inside. Door locked and firmly shut behind him, Viktor took in a deep breath.

“This isn’t how I wanted to make the announcement,” he said after a few minutes.

“I know.”

“I have to give a statement.”

“Preferably a press conference. This is the biggest story of the year.”

“I have to talk to Yuuri about this.”

Chris folded his arms. “You don’t really have time. The longer you wait, the more outlandish the gossip articles are going to be. Not that they aren’t already bad.”

His thoughts raced a million miles per hour. Chris was right, but he couldn’t divulge information that wasn’t his to completely tell.

“Viktor?” Chris’ voice cut through the numerous drowning thoughts. He looked at his friend. “Do you have indisputable proof that Nika is yours?” 

The question hurt. He had never thought about asking for a test. He just _knew_. Nika had known too. “No.”

Chris let out a curse as Viktor’s phone rang. _Yakov._

“Yakov,” he greeted.

“Vitya.” He flinched. His coach’s voice was harsh and cold. Usually a sign of an impending lecture. However, it never came. “I’ve moved your practice to after lunch tomorrow. Afterward, you will give a press conference to address rumors. In the morning, I’ll drive you to spend time with your Yuuri to get your statements together.”

Good, reliable Yakov.

“What do I say in the meantime?” he asked.

“Post on your social media that a major announcement is coming tomorrow. Don’t go on the defensive to any comments. I’ve already contacted lawyers to prosecute some of the more outlandish claims. There are half a dozen women who claim their child is yours. A couple say they are filing claims for unpaid child support.”

He sucked in a deep breath. “Thank you, Yakov.” 

With that, the call ended. Viktor slumped against the wall. The thought of handling the press tomorrow seemed even more daunting than it had before.

_Because it’s not on our terms._

They weren’t ready. He wasn’t even sure where they stood in their relationship at this time.

“What did Yakov say?”

“He’s moved practice and afterward I’m going to address the rumors. I’m going to talk to Yuuri tomorrow morning so we can work out our statements.”

“And get a paternity test.” He let out a low growl at the sentence. “Look, I believe you. However, the media won’t be satisfied with just your claim. And even if you show them a picture, they’re going to say that he’s too small to be yours.”

He knew Chris was right. At this point, this wasn’t about what he _felt_. Even though that’s all that mattered to him at this moment.

“You should craft your part of the statement tonight. You can insert what Yuuri is willing to tell tomorrow. I’ll help you.”

Viktor nodded. The words didn’t come easily. Neither did sleep.

 

-Present Day, Hospital-

Yuuri walked up and down the hallway. Nika followed his lead, staying close to him. His legs didn’t shake as much now. His stomach was more settled today, but unease bubbled underneath the surface. Several of the nurses he had passed quickly looked away and began whispering too quiet for him to hear.

He didn’t know what prompted the sudden change from them. Nika tugged at his hospital gown. Yuuri looked down at his son. The toddler motioned to be picked up. He bent down, dizziness washed over him.

His vision went black before he hit the ground.

 

-Viktor-

They arrived at the hospital without problem. The hotel had let them out an employee entrance where Yakov’s new rental waiting for them.

The two of them made their way to where Yuuri was being kept. Nurses flew passed them without so much as a greeting. The flurry of activity set off alarm bells. He began to move faster. His instincts telling him that something bad had happened. There were several nurses in his fiancé’s room. Nika was sobbing. 

His fiancé completely ignorant of the scene around him. Nika’s blue eyes caught his and immediately, the toddler started to squirm out of the nurse’s arms—reaching for him.

“Mister Nikiforov,” the doctor greeted. His son was placed in his arms. Nika sobbed into his neck.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Mister Katsuki passed out.”

His breath hitched. “Is he all right?”

“Yes, there’s no danger to him or the baby. He just bent down too fast and experienced a drop in blood sugar levels. Mister Katsuki shouldn’t be out too much longer.”

“Is this normal?” he asked.

“Passing out is rare, but experiencing drops like this is normal. We’re going to put him on a modified diet to help curb this in the future. He’ll eat smaller portions more frequently. If he continues to pass out, we’ll conduct additional tests, but it is normal for expecting mothers to experience dizziness due to their pregnancy.”

Expecting mothers.

 _Mama Yuuri_.

Viktor liked the sound of that. He shook the thought from his head. Now wasn’t the time to think about that.

“How long will it take for him to wake up?” he asked. 

“It should be any time now. We’ll stay until he does and then leave you alone again.”

“Does this alter his timeline for being released?”

“No. Like I said, if this keeps happening, we’ll perform additional testing. Right now, we’re not seeing anything additional that concerns us.”

He nodded. Viktor rubbed his son’s back in order to calm down the toddler. He hummed an old Russian folksong softly. Nika’s cries softened before stopping completely.

Viktor took a seat and peeled Nika away from his shoulder. “Do you feel better, Nika?” The toddler’s eyes were puffy. Remnants of his crying. Viktor reached over and grabbed a tissue and cleaned his son’s face. “There, all cleaned up!”

He smiled at Nika. The toddler looked over at Yuuri briefly before burying his head against his neck again.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

“He’s really taken to you,” a gruff voice mumbled behind him.

Viktor had forgotten Yakov had come with him. He hummed softly. “He’s my son.” 

“Aside from the dark hair, he looks exactly like you. There’s no denying he’s yours.”

“That’s not the problem we need to address though,” he commented. “They need to be convinced that he’s Yuuri’s and mine.”

Silence fell between them. He could feel Nika’s breathing even out. Viktor knew the child was falling asleep on his shoulder. A bit of drool dropped on his skin. A smile stretched across his face. He didn’t mind one bit.

 

-Yuuri-

Yuuri woke slowly. His head throbbed and limbs felt heavy. He could hear voices around him, but couldn’t register the words being spoken. Not yet at least. He turned to his right and Viktor was sitting in the same chair as usual. Nika sleeping soundly on Viktor’s shoulder

Before he could register his actions, Yuuri stretched out a hand.

Viktor gripped his firmly. The touch grounded him. He blinked slowly several times.

“What happened?” he asked quietly.

“You passed out. The doctor said you and the baby are fine.”

He nodded. The movement making his head hurt even more. Yuuri closed his eyes again and sucked in a deep breath. He could feel the nurses checking all his vitals in the mean time. The weight in his limbs eventually passed, but the headache remained. He could deal with it though.

“How are you?” he asked Viktor.

“I’m fine. I need to talk to you about something important though.”

Yuuri’s mind began racing about the possibilities of this conversation. There was so much he needed to tell still. As his thoughts continued to imagine the potential topics, unease crept up. His snapped open his eyes to look around the room and caught sight of Yakov.

His stomach churned.

They made eye contact for a brief moment before he recoiled. 

“Can we talk alone?” he asked.

“It’s better if Yakov is here.”

He shifted uncomfortably. Yuuri didn’t want him in here. He didn’t know _why_. It was just a feeling. Yakov had never set him off before. So why now?

Panic was begging to take over. He took in several deep breaths. He could do this. 

“What’s going on?” he asked. His tone didn’t betray the emotions bubbling under the surface.

_Please don’t let it be bad._

It was Viktor’s turn to shift uncomfortably. He watched as his fiancé try to form the next words.

Words that he was afraid to hear.

“The press,” Viktor began. Yuuri’s heart pounded loudly. Nothing good ever started with those two words. Whatever was supposed to come next died in his fiancé’s throat.

“Viktor,” he whispered. “Please tell me.”

A deep breath and exhale, then: “They know I have a son.” They could handle that. The announcement would be sooner than he was ready. However, the press would conjure ridiculous stories if left without verification.

“Okay,” he said. “So we announce we have a son.”

Viktor cringed. “They don’t think it’s ours. They think…” His fiancé swallowed thickly. “They think I cheated on you. That we’re no longer engaged. Some women have come forward and claim that they’ve given birth to my child.”

Yuuri’s mind continued to race. He remembered Viktor running out on him yesterday. “Is that why you cut your visit short?” he asked.

Viktor cringed. He already knew the answer before the word was even spoken. “Yes.”

He closed his eyes again, wishing he could fall asleep immediately. The real world hurt so much right now.

_Why did this have to happen?_

“Yuuri?” he heard. He took a deep breath before making eye contact with Viktor. “I’m sorry.” 

“What are you apologizing for?”

“The media finding out. The fact that we now have to reveal more than you’re comfortable with.”

“That’s not what you should be apologizing for,” Yuuri snapped. Viktor stared at him in surprise. “I don’t care that they found out! I care about _us_. You didn’t tell me what happened. You were with me in the hospital as it was happening and you _left_! You could have told me then, but you chose to leave me out of a conversation that involves both of us.” 

He paused to wipe the tears falling down his face. Yuuri didn’t know where they could go from there. If they went back to Saint Petersburg as they were, they wouldn’t make it. As much as he was afraid of their future working out together, it’s what he ultimately wanted.

“We can’t keep going like this, Viktor. We have to communicate—especially on matters that concern both of us. Not the day after it happens, the moment it does. Or shortly after.”

Viktor remained silent after he had finished. Yuuri could feel Yakov’s eyes on him. He shifted under the harsh gaze.

“You’re right,” Viktor whispered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it that way. I wanted to protect you, but only ended up hurting you more. I’m sorry.”

He’d ask for a promise. But Yuuri knew how pointless those could be. “We’ll get through this. Together.”

A repeated phrase uttered between them too many times. Yuuri didn’t know if they could overcome the amount of obstacles in their way.

“As touching as all this is, the media isn’t going to care about any of this,” Yakov grumbled. 

He flinched at the harshness in the voice. Why did the tone seem so familiar?

Yuuri took a deep breath. “We’ll confirm that we are still together. My official statement is that I’m disappointed in the media for choosing to spread lies about our relationship. Viktor and I are still engaged and yes, we do have a son together. When I was kidnapped, I was two months pregnant at the time. Our son was born during the time I was missing. And I support whatever else Viktor states to the media.”

Yakov merely nodded “Vitya?”

“Mine is that I would never cheat on my soul mate. Yuuri and I are working toward the future where we can be together as a family in Saint Petersburg. I have not fathered any children with anyone else. I will be looking into my options to bring charges against those who are attempting to get child support from me.”

“Good. I’ll put this together in a statement for you to read.” With that, Yakov stepped outside.

Yuuri immediately felt the tension release from his shoulders. Viktor looked away from him.

“Viktor, what’s wrong?” he asked.

His fiancé remained silent for a moment. “I’m not sure how to ask this without it being insulting. I know the truth, you do too. But—”

“I’m not going to be hurt,” Yuuri reassured.

“May I have a paternity test?”

The question felt like a punch to the gut. He understood why he was being asked for one. Yuuri nodded. “Of course. The media won’t be convinced otherwise.”

He gave a small, reassuring smile. Viktor seemed immediately relieved. Yuuri hoped they could overcome anything else that came their way.

 

-Rink-

Viktor sat on the bench after practice. The piece of paper from the hospital weighed heavily in his hands. He hadn’t looked at it yet. Part of him was afraid of the results. He believed Nika was his son. His secondary gender did as well. Because he was so certain, to see anything written otherwise would be devastating. 

However, time before the scheduled press conference was winding down. He didn’t want the first time he saw these results to be in front of reporters. His body ached. Not because of practice. Every muscle was tense as he stared at the outside of the envelope.

_There’s no point delaying this anymore._

Viktor opened the envelope slowly. His body still rigid. He stopped breathing when he caught sight of the piece of paper that could change everything between him and Yuuri. A shaky hand pulled out the results. 

The words looked so strange and foreign, even though they were printed in his native language. Scanning past the summary of his blood type, he went straight to the scale showing the DNA breakdown of his, Yuuri’s, and Nika’s genetic profiles. The doctor had kindly written what he should look for in comparison.

But it was the numbers that caught his eye: 99.9% chance of paternity.

There was no denying Nika was his son. The doctor had also included that Nika’s genetic makeup was of both him and Yuuri.

A sigh escaped his lips. All the tension melted. Nika was his and Yuuri’s.

_And now no one can question it._

The door to the locker room opened. He looked up to see Yakov and Chris.

“You ready?” his coach grunted.

He nodded. Viktor replaced the test results in the envelope.

No matter what happened, he knew the truth. No one could take that away from him. A smile graced his lips.

“Results as expected?” Chris asked.

He hummed. “Yes.” 

“Good. I’ve already ordered the items for your home. It would’ve been a pain to return them.”

When had Chris—?

Viktor never got to finish the thought due to the sudden screams and flashing of lights. He turned his attention to the crowd that had gathered outside the rink. Several fans held signs in support of Yuuri. Others had chosen his “side” of the paparazzi gossip.

Members of law enforcement kept the crowd at bay. Yakov approached the temporary podium with dozens of microphones attached to it from several news agencies. 

“Can you all hear okay?” Yakov asked. Upon the nods from members of the press, he continued. “Mister Nikiforov will be giving a statement on behalf of both him and Yuuri Katsuki. He will only answer questions for ten minutes and reserves the right to choose which ones and may end the session if he wishes. As you know, Mister Nikiforov has been under my tutelage for several years and I will continue to support him as his coach and mentor. I’ll now turn it over to him.” 

Viktor took in a deep breath and approached the podium. Yakov gave him a gentle squeeze on the arm.

_You can do this._

“Good afternoon, everyone.” With those three words, everyone fell completely silent. He had their full attention. “I want to start by thanking those who have supported both me and my fiancé, Yuuri Katsuki during this difficult time. He is still recovering at a hospital at this time. He has given me permission to share some information with you and clarify the rumors surrounding our relationship.

“First of all, my fiancé and I wish to confirm that we are still together and will continue to focus on healing after his disappearance. We are also excited to announce that we have a son together.” 

Whispers immediately began to wave through the crowd. He could hear their doubts and questions from here. Viktor clenched a fist.

“When my Yuuri was kidnapped over two years ago, he was two months pregnant with my child. Our son was born during the period he was missing. Doctors have confirmed through DNA testing that this child belongs to both Yuuri and I. Since the time my fiancé has been missing and since we’ve been reunited, I have not been with anyone else. Yuuri is my soul mate and there is no one else for me.

“Therefore, all claims that I have fathered children or had relationships with anyone other than my Yuuri are completely false. Yuuri and I are both disappointed in the media for choosing to spread lies about our relationship. I will be looking into legal action against those who are attempting to collect child support from me. In addition, my legal team will also be taking a look at whether any libelous content was used in the media.

“I know many of you have questions regarding my future with Yuuri. As I’ve said before, we are focusing on healing. We are looking forward to being a complete family together in Saint Petersburg upon the discharge of both Yuuri and our son.” A pause. “I will now answer questions.”

“What is your son’s name?”

He took in a breath. “We are not releasing that at this time.” 

“Any pictures?”

“Same answer.”

“Was Yuuri Katsuki planning to retire after his surprise gold medal performance at The World Figure Skating Championships two years ago?”

“No. We were already planning on programs for the next season when he was taken.”

“Was he trying to keep you in a relationship by getting pregnant?” 

Viktor bit the inside of his mouth to prevent himself from growling. He and Yuuri were in a loving, mutual relationship. His fiancé would never, _ever_ manipulate him like that.

He glared at the reporter who asked the question. “This conference is over. Thank you all for your continued support during this time.”

With that, he turned away and headed straight to his vehicle. Footsteps followed closely behind. All Viktor could think about was getting away from there.

_Why? Why? Why?_

The question repeated itself in his mind. A hand rested on his shoulder, causing him to jump. Viktor turned around to see Chris.

“I’ll drive.”

He didn’t argue, merely handed over the keys to Chris and got in the passenger’s seat.

“How could they think he manipulated me?”

“They’re idiots. We both know that you two wanted a family once both your careers were over. Yuuri’s pregnancy probably would’ve changed the timeline, but it was what you both wanted. You can’t change their thoughts, but you can believe in what you know is true. If you don’t, the press isn’t going to be your only headache.”

He nodded. “I just want them to leave us alone.”

“I know, Viktor. I know.”

  

* * *

 

**Alpha Domestic Services and Figure Skating Federation of Russia Announce Joint Investigation**

_After Russia’s living legend Viktor Nikiforov, held a press conference to address several rumors regarding his relationship with Yuuri Katsuki of Japan, more questions were raised after Mister Nikiforov abruptly ended and left the podium. A reporter asked if he had been manipulated by his alleged fiancé and Omega, Yuuri Katsuki after confirming he had a child with the former top male figure skater for Japan._

_After refusing to answer the question, Mister Nikiforov left the scene. His long-time coach Yakov Feltsman dismissed the reporter’s question as well, stating that they were in a mutual, loving relationship and the two were looking forward to raising their son together in Saint Petersburg following Mister Katsuki’s discharge from an unknown hospital._

_Hours after the press conference, Alpha Domestic Services and the Figure Skating Federal of Russian announced they would be investigating to make sure no Omega manipulation had taken place and Mister Nikiforov was not under the influence of Omega pheromones._

_The Figure Skating Federation of Russia stated they would be retesting samples Mister Nikiforov has provided for all past competitions in compliance with International Skating Union’s effort to promote clean and fair sport. Normal tests do not include a panel to show elevated levels of Omega pheromones in Alphas and vice versa due to no known previous cases._

_Alpha Domestic Services will be conducting visits with family, friends, and acquaintances of both Mister Nikiforov and Mister Katsuki to determine if any of the claims of manipulation are founded. They will also be directly visiting the alleged couple and evaluate their relationship to see if the misconduct warrants intervention on their behalf._

_Alphas manipulation through Omega pheromones is rare, but does happen, according to legal experts. Depending on the level of manipulation, Mister Katsuki could face criminal charges and be forced to leave Russia with a lifelong ban attached. In addition, Mister Katsuki could lose custody of their alleged son._

_An Alpha Domestic Spokesperson stated that in these type of cases, they may remove any child involved due to additional influences. Alphas tend to be very protective of their families and therefore it influences their statements. They have not announced if they would remove the alleged child in this case._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can yell at me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *offers readers more things to break, tissues, chocolate, and fuzzy blankets*
> 
> No warnings this chapter, but brief explanation of dynamic services.
> 
> The protections/rules are universal (meaning they are adopted in all countries with no modifications). Each country has their own representatives to investigate cases such as these, but they must abide by the universal rules. Cases like these should be presented to a universal judge and both dynamic protective services should be informed of pending charges/investigations.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!

-Present Day, Hotel-

It started with a simple knock on his hotel door and quickly turned to chaos. Yakov and three people he had never seen before let themselves in before he could object to their presence. His coach shot him an apologetic look, but he didn’t know _why_.

When he found out, Viktor suddenly wished he hadn’t asked. Wished he hadn’t opened the door.

“Mister Nikiforov, we are part of the team assigned to your investigation.”

_Investigation? For what?_

“Vitya.” He immediately snapped his head toward his coach. “These two are from the FFKK and—”

The woman who had yet to be introduced seemed impatient at how long it was taking to get to her role in this investigation. “I’m Yana Savina with Alpha Protective Services. We’re investigating the likelihood that Yuuri Katsuki has been using Omega pheromones to manipulate you.”

He blinked. Surely he heard wrong. Yuuri manipulate him? That was ridiculous! “Why would you think he’s manipulating me?”

Then, the end of the press conference came to mind. 

_Those bastards._

“We have our concerns. A judge has ordered a temporary Victim Protective Order until the case can proceed. This means you won’t be able to see Mister Katsuki until a later date if at all. First things first, we need several biological samples. We have a warrant to receive these. You cannot refuse.”

He slowly processed the words.

“Case.” The weight of the word sunk in as the FFKK officials moved in to get a blood sample from him.

He wasn’t the one under investigation.

_Yuuri._

 

-Plisetsky Household-

Yuri heard the murmur from the television in the living room, even with his door shut. The familiar sound of his grandpa cooking drowned over parts of the garbled speech. He would have to leave the room sooner or later to eat.

Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to spend more time outside of his comfort zone. He wrapped himself in the quilt from his bed and made his way out of the room. With a shaky hand, he pushed open the barrier separating him from the rest of the house and his sanctuary.

If his grandpa heard his door open, there was no acknowledgement of the movement. Yuri quietly walked toward the living room to sit on one of the chairs. Potya followed closely behind. Once he settled in a recliner, the cat jumped in his lap and made herself at home.

A game show was playing. He remembered watching them with his grandpa years ago. They would guess the answers. He was always wrong, but his grandpa always got the questions correct.

_“You should go on the show, grandpa!” he’d insist. “You’re so smart and way better than the others. You know the answers to the questions they miss!”_

_Nikolai would give him a small smile. “I would, but I have something important to take care of.”_

Yuri never understood what was so important that his grandpa could leave for a couple of days to at least try out for the game show. In all the years that they had spent together, he never bothered to ask.

Whenever a question was asked, he could hear his grandpa quietly mutter the answer in between preparing for the meal. Even though life was much different, to be able to experience something so familiar put him at ease. 

“Yuri,” his grandpa said quietly. He looked up to see the older man a respectable distance away. “Would you like to eat in the living room?” 

He nodded. 

“May I join you?” 

Again, he nodded. Yuri didn’t know how to feel about the question. Part of him appreciated the fact that he grandpa had asked and put a comfortable amount of distance between them.

 _He had to ask._  

Yuri hated reminders that his life wasn’t normal. Wouldn’t be normal for a while and there was nothing he could do about it. 

Within a few minutes, his grandpa returned to the room with two bowls of soup in hand. He held one out for Yuri to take. The two of them settled into watching the game show, sitting several chairs away from each other. 

The process of his grandpa answering the questions asked on television continued. Yuri smiled every time.

“You’re so smart, grandpa. You should go on the show.” He looked in the direction of his grandpa.

Nikolai met his gaze and gave a soft smile. “I would, but I have something important to take care of.”

“What is so important that you can’t go?”

There was a brief moment of silence. “You are.”

 _Oh._  

Yuri went back to his soup. All that time was spent taking care of him.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

 

-Hospital- 

He held Nika while he made his way around the room. Yuuri hummed softly, hoping to lull his son to sleep for an afternoon nap. After feeling the toddler go completely slack in his arms, he climbed back in their hospital bed.

Nika slumped to rest his head against where his heart was beating. Yuuri tucked in the blankets around his son before gently running fingers through the soft hair. Since the press conference the previous day, Viktor had not stopped by. Morning practice was over and he hadn’t seen his fiancé.

Unease settled over him, but he didn’t know how to reach Viktor. All he had to do was trust that his fiancé would visit them.

_Please come soon. We have so much to talk about._

 

-Hotel-

Viktor watched Ms. Savina from the couch in his hotel’s living room. She talked quickly to another person on the other end of the phone. Yakov sat beside him with Chris on the opposite side. The FFKK officials watched the two of them. 

They had tried to push Chris out of the room, but his friend said only Viktor had the right to remove him from the suite in cases where Alpha Protective Services were involved. Laws stated that a witness for the alleged victim had to be present during all conversations. And due to the conflict of interest on Yakov’s behalf—that ruled the coach out as the witness. 

Viktor was grateful Chris knew more about the law than he did. Without his friend, he didn’t know what would happen to him. But even though a legal cause was supposedly pending involving him, Viktor’s only concern was about Yuuri. He had planned to meet his fiancé to discuss the press conference.

Now his thoughts were plagued with scenarios of them harassing his soul mate. And taking their son away.

The last thought caused him to shut down. What would they do if Nika was put into state custody? Could they choose who they wanted to watch over him? Or would he be forced into a home with strangers?

The prospect of strangers taking care of his son made his stomach churn. He took several deep breaths, trying to keep himself from needing to rush to the restroom.

There were so many stories of abuse and neglect. Nika wouldn’t be safe with anyone but him and Yuuri. 

_Or Yurio._

“Chris,” he whispered. He spoke the next sentence in French, hoping no one spoke the language. “What is going to happen?” 

His friend opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Viktor nervously shook his leg.

“I don’t know, Viktor. I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen.” 

The answer didn’t do anything to soothe his nerves, but he appreciated the fact that Chris had not lied to him. 

“They can take my son away, can’t they?” 

“Yes.” 

“I can’t let that happen. Is there anything I can do to protect him?” 

“Unfortunately, not unless Yuuri calls for a family advocate from the hospital he’s staying in. Because he currently has your son with him, they will see it as him having primary custody. If he does call for a family advocate, they can mediate between the two of you without violating the Victim Protective Order.” 

Viktor sucked in a deep breath. “Will he know to call for that?” 

Chris looked away from his hopeful gaze. “I don’t know. We can only hope he knows the laws.” 

What would they do if Yuuri didn’t?

Viktor didn’t want to think about that outcome.

 

-Plisetsky Household-

The peace in the Plisetsky household was interrupted with the announcement of breaking news. Yuri gripped the edge of his empty bowl, hoping it wasn't anything too bad.

He was on edge.

Something inside screamed at him that everything was not going to be okay. The breaking news open cut in the middle of the game show they were watching.

"We are on the scene of breaking news this morning. Alpha Protective Services and the Figure Skating Federation of Russia are currently outside AGAPE Medical Center. For more details, we send it out to our reporter in the field, Sergei Orlov. Sergei, we understand you just spoke with officials about their presence." 

"That's right, officials say this is the hospital where Yuuri Katsuki is being treated at. In fact, both Mister Katsuki and Yuri Plisetsky were treated here after their rescue. They say they are there to question Mister Katsuki in relation to a joint investigation to see if he used Omega manipulation on our nation's hero: Viktor Nikiforov."

No. No. No.

This wasn't right. Katsuki wouldn't do that. Both him and Viktor were grossly in love, but there was no way in hell these accusations were true.

“Yuri?” his grandpa asked. 

It was then that he realized he had broke the dish in his hands.

His eyes grew wide. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. I didn't—"

The last apology didn't come out.

Oh.

_Panic attack._

He tried to focus on his breathing, but it became more and more difficult. 

“Yuri, it’s okay. Can you hear me?” 

He nodded.

“May I touch you?”

Again, he nodded. His grandpa approached slowly before reaching out a hand to rub his back. The touch began to ground him. His breathing wasn’t as ragged, but it was still difficult.

“Do you remember when your first skating event as a child? I was running behind that day. You refused to skate until I was there. Everyone else went on with the program, but you stood still on the ice, pouting. When I came in, you demanded I give you a hug for good luck before joining the rest.”

“That’s the first time Yakov saw me skate.”

Nikolai chuckled. “He should’ve known you’d be trouble then.”

Yuri gave a small smile. “He always complains about how we’re making him bald, but he’s the one who recruited us.”

“Because you’re strong. No matter the challenges, you overcame every single one of them through pure dedication and stubbornness. It’s made you the person you are today. I’m proud of who you have become.”

“Even with everything that happened these past two years?” he asked quietly.

“I always knew you’d find a way to survive,” his grandpa responded. “You’ve had to be strong for strong by yourself for so long. Let me be your strength for a little bit.”

Yuri nodded before leaning to give his grandpa a hug. Tears filled his eyes. Nikolai continued to rub his back and hummed a familiar tune. Slowly, he felt himself relax.

“Do you want to talk about your friend?” his grandpa asked after several minutes.

He didn’t know what there was to talk about in regards to that. Alpha Protective services and FFKK were wrong. Katsuki would never manipulate Viktor. Yuri didn’t know if getting involved would be helpful. His fingers touched over where his bond mark would go.

The media didn’t need more fuel. If they found out he and Katsuki were bonded, a second investigation would be likely. One that would endanger the current one.

“There’s nothing I can do,” he whispered.

One thing from the compound hadn’t changed.

Yuri was still helpless to protect Katsuki.

 

-Hospital-

He walked back to the hospital bed on shaky legs. Mis Vanzin stayed close to him, making sure no further complications would happen. Yuuri had a bad bout of morning sickness that left him drained. Nika watched him from the hospital bed, eyes full of concern. 

Finally, he settled underneath the blankets. Nika climbed to be near him, but didn’t climb on his lap. Yuuri was grateful his son didn’t try. He was certain that there would be another trip to the restroom if that happened. 

Instead, he ran his fingers through his son’s hair. “I’m okay, baby. I’m okay.”

Nika settled against him before offering him the stuffed poodle Viktor had bought. He smiled and took the toy, resting it on his stomach so his son could grab it if needed.

The nurse stayed to check his vitals. 

It was calm.

He closed his eyes, waiting until he was told everything was normal before he would allow himself to rest.

Yuuri didn’t get a chance for that though. 

There were shouts down the hall and the sound of several people approaching. A deep breath in. Instantly, the overwhelming scents of Alphas filled his nostrils. The intense smell churned his already unsettled stomach.

Unease was quick to make itself at home.

He opened his eyes just as four people entered his room. One was his doctor. The other three, he didn’t recognize. Yuuri tried not to let panic take over, but everything about the strangers screamed at his instincts.

Something was wrong.

Their scents were too powerful. His instincts screamed at him to submit to them. He wouldn’t.

They studied him before whispering in rapid-fire Russian. He looked to the doctor for answers, but he only shook his head.

“Yuuri Katsuki,” one of the two men said. He didn’t answer, but held the man’s gaze. He clicked his tongue. His body tensed. Displeasure. “You should answer when I call your name.”

“You should introduce yourself before barging into the room of a patient of a hospital,” he retorted.

The Alpha woman stepped forward. “You should have better manners for an Omega.”

She meant to demean him. However, Yuuri wasn’t going to let them make him feel less of a person. Not again.

“I am part of Alpha Protective Services. These two men are part of the Figure Skating Federation of Russia. We are here to investigate the possibility of Omega manipulation against Viktor Nikiforov.” 

Omega manipulation.

He felt Nika climb onto his lap. A small whine escaping his son’s mouth. Yuuri immediately wrapped a protective arm around the toddler.

“This is the child in question?” the woman asked, turning to the doctor. 

The doctor merely nodded.

“We require our own paternity test. We’ll also need biological samples from the child in addition to Mister Katsuki.”

“No,” Yuuri spoke. She whipped her head toward him.

“Excuse me?”

“You will not touch me or my child.”

She withdrew papers from her briefcase. “I have a court order.”

Yuuri looked at Miss Vanzin. “Will you bring them here for me?” Miss Vanzin complied without a complaint.

He looked over the court order. It indeed called for biological samples from both him and his son. However, it was missing a key signature.

“This order is invalid,” Yuuri stated.

She scowled. “It’s perfectly valid.”

He turned the paper toward her and pointed to a blank line. “This is where either an Omega Protective Services agent or my personal representative should have signed to acknowledge that they were informed of a legal proceeding against me. Without that signature, you can’t execute the court order. Why was no one at OPS made aware of this? Is it because you did not use a Universal Protective Services Judge?”

Their silence told him enough. He could imagine this is the exact same way they treated Viktor. They expected him to bend to their will. He refused to follow their playbook. Yuuri kept his anger at bay.

“I demand an OPS representative, a lawyer, my primary doctor, a witness of my choosing, an Embassy representative, a hospital mediator, and a family advocate. Until those people are present, you are not allowed to be in my room.” 

The woman growled at him. “You don’t understand your position, Mister Katsuki. You are under investigation. I can have your child taken away from you. I can keep you away from Viktor Nikiforov forever.”

Nika whined again. He rubbed his son’s back. “Then you can try to do that the legal way." 

"This would be easier if you cooperated, Mister Katsuki."

He stared at the woman standing across from him. "You mean that it would be easier to submit."

The last word left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

_Keep it together._

"This will not reflect well when a judge hears about your behavior."

"A strange Alpha barged into my room unannounced, demanded I answer questions without proper representation, and threatened to take my child away. I think a judge, especially a Universal Protective Services Judge, would understand why I'm on edge."

The woman scoffed and muttered something he couldn't understand. 

Yuuri had been helpless for two years. Now that he was free, he refused to be at someone's mercy without consent.

“You have 30 seconds to leave before I have you kicked out.”

The FFKK representatives immediately turned. The APS woman continued to stare at him. “You’re only delaying the inevitable, Mister Katsuki.”

She let out a powerful cloud of pheromones, attempting to get him to submit. Nika began to cry.

Yuuri snarled. “Get out. You’re upsetting my son.”

Her eyes widened at his shift in attitude, but said nothing. Instead, she turned and walked out of the room. Yuuri was still on edge though. He knew she was still out there. 

Miss Vanzin closed the door to his hospital room. “They won’t make things easy,” she said quietly.

He took in a deep breath. “I know. I know what type of power they have. They can keep me away from Viktor. They can take away my son. I can be deported. But I didn’t fight for two years just to go from one prison to another.”

“We’ll contact OPS and the Embassy on your behalf to report the incident. I doubt they’ll have the decency to do it themselves.”

Yuuri closed his eyes and nodded. “Thank you.”

“Who do you want as your witness?” 

“Phichit Chulanont.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you didn't see that coming. Scream at me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I am overwhelmed by all the support the last chapter got. I appreciate every comment from you guys and can't thank you enough for making my entire week. It definitely helped fuel my motivation and therefore I was able to get out this monster of a chapter fairly quickly.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy! And for those of you who are celebrating Thanksgiving: I hope you have a fantastic holiday!
> 
> -No warnings for this chapter-

-Phichit-

 

He was surrounded by half-opened boxes and partially assembled furniture when he received the call. Yuuri had asked for him specifically when it came to dealing with Alpha Protective Services. Immediately after hanging up his phone, Phichit booked a flight to Moscow and spent the entire time preparing himself for what he was about to face.

Of course, he had followed the story on social media. He reached out to Viktor several times, asking if there was any way that he could help. The answer was always “no.” Being unable to see his best friend after such a traumatic experience made him anxious. Thousands of “what ifs” ran through his mind.

Phichit just had to trust that Viktor was taking care of his best friend properly. He communicated what he knew with the Katsuki’s. They couldn’t get out to Moscow because of their business. They had to deal with thousands of fans, the media, and renewed interest in their onsen since Yuuri had been found.

Even sending out Mari or Minako hadn’t panned out yet.

They wanted to be Yuuri’s support during this time. Phichit understood the longing as well. He had felt better when Chris started messaging him updates on both Yuuri and Viktor.

At least then he didn’t feel like an outsider. Of course, he was willing to do whatever Chris asked in order to help the couple from afar. No questions asked. Though part of them were answered at the arrival of several pieces of furniture.

The opportunity to be free of assembly instructions hell was more than welcome.

He dragged his luggage to Chris’ hotel room. Upon seeing the media camped out the front, he immediately went to the back entrance. Phichit wasn’t ready to announce his presence to the press yet.

When he entered the room, it didn’t surprise him that it was probably the biggest room in the hotel. He set his luggage down and messaged Chris that he had arrived. It took the other less than a minute to join him.

“Phichit!” the other greeted. They embraced. Two kisses, one on each cheek. 

“How’s Viktor holding up?” he asked.

Chris shook his head. “Not well. APS is practically living in his hotel room along with the FFKK. They don’t want him to slip out of their grasp.”

“Any contact from hospital advocates?”

“None so far. We don’t know if this is because APS is intercepting the calls or if Yuuri doesn’t know the laws.”

“Yuuri knows the laws.” 

Chris’ eyes widened at his sharp tone. “How?”

“It’s part of general education credits when you go to college. Since Viktor didn’t go to a university, I imagine he didn’t get educated on the universal laws.”

The other let out a small laugh. “You two never fail to surprise me.”

“I have the feeling that we’re not done surprising you yet. Go back to Viktor, I’m going to take a shower and visit Yuuri.”

“Good luck, my friend.” 

“Text me if anything changes.” 

They embraced one last time, the hug lasting a bit longer than the first. 

His eyes never left Chris’ body as the older man sauntered toward the exit. Phichit bit his lip. “Chris?” 

The older man turned to look at him. “What is it?”

“Tell Viktor that if he feels like the APS isn’t representing his desires properly that he can request a new one. As his witness, you’ll contact the office directly after he states those words and a hearing will take place in front of the Universal Judge assigned to this case within twenty-four hours.” 

“If there is one,” Chris said quietly. 

Phichit didn’t fully process the words until the hotel door was firmly shut behind Chris.

_This is going to be more complicated that I thought._  

It was time to get down to business.

 

-Hospital, Yuuri-

 

One by one, the team he had asked for gathered in his hospital room. He was anxious to have so many people around him. While he knew none of them would hurt him, the knowledge of just how powerless he actually was never strayed too far from him mind.

It wasn’t until a familiar voice echoed down the hall that he began to feel more comfortable. 

“Yuuri!” the voice said loudly. He relaxed his body, accepting the hug from his best friend. Phichit held him tight. Hands ran through his hair and whispered how happy he was to see him in Thai. 

He responded in the other’s language, telling him that he had a surprise after this meeting was over. Phichit pulled away from him and took the seat closest to his hospital bed.

“I’m sorry for doing this in a group meeting, but I don’t have the strength to give everyone individual statements right now,” Yuuri began. He then launched into his explanation of what had happened the prior day. 

Everyone had their opportunity to ask questions about the case. Everything he suspected about APS’ actions were confirmed by the meeting. Each came up with a list of legal actions that could be taken.

He wanted to proceed with every one of them. Because of his status as an illegal alien in Russia, the Embassy said they would have to obtain a temporary stay order. Given the filed Victim Protection Order against Viktor, a judge would have no choice to grant it. However, once the VPO was lifted, they would have to file for another visa with Russia.

The family advocate asked in terms of primary custody, who would he rather have their son with: him or Viktor. He debated. If their son stayed with him, there would be a higher chance of him being taken away. If he stayed with Viktor, there would be a high risk of him having to go through a lengthy custody battle after all was said and done.

“He needs to stay with me,” Yuuri finally decided.

“If APS is successful in their attempt to put yours and Viktor Nikiforov’s son into state custody, is there someone who is a Russian citizen that you would entrust the child to?” the family advocate asked.

His heart ached at the thought of being separated from Nika. “Yuri Plisetsky.” The name rolled easily off his tongue.

“He was taken with you, correct?” the family advocate asked. 

“Yes. But he’s the only person that my son would be comfortable with. Yuri was there for his birth and helped raise him while…”

He drifted off, thinking of all the times Yura had been the one there for him and Nika. 

“I understand. I’ll communicate with Mister Nikiforov about placing the child into his custody should they be successful. I don’t anticipate that happening given how poorly APS handled their first attempt. However, it’s always better to be on the side of caution.” 

Yuuri nodded. “If possible, please visit in person. I want to know that Viktor is doing okay.”

“Of course.”

“Is there anything else you need from me?” 

Everyone indicated that they had enough to proceed with the next steps for the moment. One by one, they emptied the room until just him and Phichit were left. 

“Thank you for being here,” Yuuri said quietly. “I hope your flight wasn’t too bad.” 

The other man hummed. “Nope! Wasn’t bad at all!”

“Not tired? It’s a four hour time difference, but you still shouldn’t push yourself.” 

“Yuuri.” Phichit drew out his name for a good five seconds. “Stop worrying about me, I’m fine.” 

“Phichit,” he whispered. He reached out a hand to touch his best friend again. Immediately, the other grasped his. “I missed you so much.”

 

-Phichit-

 

He knew Yuuri was avoiding talking about what was on his mind. Phichit just let the conversation flow. Eventually, his best friend would tell him. This was about Yuuri working up the courage to reveal what he truly wanted.

Even though it would take a while, he indulged his friend in a lengthy conversation about what he had missed in the past two years. From Phichit’s adventures in figure skating, to the adoption of three new hamsters, to the wonderful world of BTS. He played several songs in a row and proceeded to tell Yuuri why they were his favorite group.

His friend smiled and laughed at every one of his adventures. It was almost like having Yuuri completely back.

Almost.

If he ignored the incredible amount of weight his friend had lost. The scars on the other’s arms. The strain in every smile. The careful movements. The long pauses in between his reaction at times. The heaviness in the air every time the conversation lulled.

Phichit didn’t want to know all that happened. He just wanted to know that Yuuri was going to be okay.

“Thank you,” Yuuri whispered after a long pause.

“I’m always here for you,” he reassured. His friend remained silent at his answer. He could see Yuuri struggling to form the next words. "You could've called anyone to be your witness."

Yuuri merely nodded in agreement with his words. "But none of them are capable of doing what I am going to ask."

Phichit saw the determination in his best friend's eyes. He knew this look. This was the Yuuri that wouldn't give up. The Yuuri that wouldn't rest until he accomplished his goal.

He sighed in defeat. Talking to Yuuri out of whatever he had planned would be useless.

"What do you need?"

“I need your social media prowess. I’m not going to get a fair trial. APS is trying to circumvent the Universal system. They’ll succeed because of Viktor. They can file the grievance under the interest of the FFKK and get around the Universal system that way. I only called the others here because they can take action _after_ the trial. Their first step was illegal. They probably didn’t think that I would know the laws.

“However, they’re smart. They have more power and influence here than I ever will. Which is why I need you.”

Phichit knew that this wouldn’t be easy to pull off. They were taking on more than just one corrupt branch of APS. They were taking on the FFKK and indirectly, the Russian government.

“What’s our first step?” he asked.

Yuuri began detailing his plan. Phichit hated that they had to go through such lengths just for a chance for his best friend’s case to succeed.

 

-Hotel, Viktor-

 

A family advocate from the hospital personally visited his hotel room. The Ms. Savina was less than thrilled with their presence and more than once tried to remove the advocate from the room.

Viktor growled at her.

She seemed surprised by this reaction. 

“They’re here to discuss my son. I will not have them thrown out.” 

“Allegedly your son,” she scoffed.

“I’ve had it confirmed through the hospital. I don’t need a test by APS to verify what I already know.” 

The family advocate went through how both Yuuri and his son were doing. It was their goal to keep Nika in the care of either him or his fiancé during the trial. He was asked who should retain primary custody of his son. 

“Yuuri,” he answered. “The hotel room isn’t equipped to handle a young child in it and I’m not going to remove him from his source of comfort right now.”

“We could bring you anything you need to bring your son here,” Ms. Savina said harshly.

Viktor shook his head. “No. My son needs to be near Yuuri more than me right now. He needs to stay in the hospital.”

The family advocate nodded and wrote down his request.

However, given that there was always a chance of removal due to extenuating circumstances, the advocate wanted to know if there was a Russian citizen he trusted to care for their son.

Viktor thought for a moment. He didn’t want Nika to be out of reach of either him or Yuuri. But if it came down to it…

“Yuri Plisetsky,” he answered. Viktor still wasn’t certain about the other Alpha’s relationship with his Yuuri, but he knew that Nika would feel more comfortable in Yurio’s presence.

“Your fiancé said the same thing. I’m glad there is agreement between you two about who should care for the child if necessary. Makes negotiations easier,” the family advocate said gently. “If you would fill out this form of your express wishes and sign it, then I can file it with a Protective Services Universal Judge for consideration. Your witness will also need to sign it along with the APS representative in charge.” 

Viktor and Chris happily signed the paper. However, Ms. Savina took a while longer to examine the page. 

“I refuse to sign this,” she declared. 

“Why?” the family advocate asked.

“I don’t believe my client’s best interests are being represented in this custody case.” 

Viktor clenched his fist. “It’s what I want.”

“You don’t know what you want,” Ms. Savina replied. “You’re still confused because you’re still influenced by Omega pheromones.”

He scowled. “You don’t know that. My test results haven’t come back yet. Even if they do, I’m sure you’ll find I’m perfectly competent to make these decisions on my own.”

She shook her head and waved a dismissive hand. “I will not sign it until I get his results back and the first meeting with the Omega in question has taken place. You can leave now.”

The family advocate thanked Viktor and Chris before leaving. 

“You should continue to fight for your child,” Ms. Savina scoffed.

“It’s what’s best for him.”

She came closer to where he was sitting. “Viktor, I’m on your side. If you want custody of your son, I will get you custody of him. He can be here tonight, away from the manipulative Omega that’s been calling you his fiancé.”

Viktor glared at the woman in front of him. How dare she.

“Viktor, let’s go for a walk,” Chris suggested. He followed without protest. Anything to get away from _her_.

 

-Hospital, Phichit-

 

After a lengthy discussion of their plan and phase one executed, Phichit’s mind wandered back to what Yuuri had told him earlier.

“You said there was a surprise?" 

His best friend nodded. Yuuri pressed a button and a nurse came in several minutes later, carrying a child in her arms. She placed the kid on Yuuri’s lap, who wasted no time in scenting his best friend before turning all their attention on Phichit.

It was love at first sight for Phichit. The moment he saw the big mop of black hair and bright blue eyes looking at him, his heart completely melted. 

Words failed to come out of his mouth. He smiled at the child, who looked at him skeptically.

They were in the midst of a staring contest. He was convinced the little one was trying to turn him into a pile of mush by just looking at him.

Tentatively, the child wandered toward him. Phichit wanted to scream and scoop up the little one, but restrained himself.

Barely. 

The child climbed into his lap and sniffed his neck. Several seconds passed before the little one climbed out of his lap and returned to where Yuuri was. 

His heart broke a little. How was he supposed to be the favorite uncle if the child didn't want to be near him?

Suddenly, a book was shoved toward his face followed by some attempt at words.

He looked up at Yuuri, who was smiling. "He likes you."

Phichit took the book and the child say in his lap. He noticed the stuffed poodle in the little one's other hand. Of course it would be a poodle. 

"What's his name?" 

"Nika."

"Okay Nika, uncle Phichit is going to read to you now!" 

It didn’t matter that the book was in Russian. Phichit made up a story and turned the pages at an appropriate time.

The child was none the wiser and didn’t speak much, except to occasionally point out a drawing. Yuuri encouraged Nika to use his words as much as possible. Phichit had so many questions he wanted to ask, but didn’t want to ruin the moment.

Once he said “the end,” Nika took back the book and went over to where Yuuri was again and began to make himself comfortable.

He didn’t miss the way the child put his head directly over Yuuri’s heart. Or the adorable way the blue eyes fought off sleep before eventually succumbing to drowsiness. A content smile spread across his best friend’s face.

“I always knew any child you had with Viktor would be beautiful,” Phichit whispered.

Yuuri’s smile broke.

 

-Hotel, Viktor-

 

He put coins into the vending machine. Viktor didn’t want anything, but needed to stay out of his hotel room for longer than five minutes. Without thinking, he pressed a button on a random drink.

“She’s evil,” he muttered as the machine dispensed his drink. “I can’t believe…” 

“I can’t either. But we have to keep calm for now and wait for an opportunity. If we react without any solid proof, it will only make things worse for you and Yuuri.” 

Viktor opened the drink and took a sip. He knew what he should do.

But this wasn’t about just him. 

He had a family to protect.

“I spent two years not knowing where Yuuri was, wondering if we would ever be reunited. Now he’s back and I still don’t know if we’ll be together in the end. Chris, I want to be. I want us to be together so bad. It terrifies me that we might not get the chance due to what he experienced.” 

“I know,” Chris said quietly. 

“But it terrifies me even more that we might not end up together because of someone else.”

Someone had made that decision for him two years ago when they kidnapped Yuuri off the streets. But now, this wasn’t an unknown entity that threatened to take away his life and love forever.

This was a service that was designed to protect him. Protect Yuuri. Protect his son. Yet, APS was determined to tear them apart. Viktor wouldn’t let that happen.

Couldn’t.

He vowed to never stop fighting while Yuuri was missing and he promised he’d never stop fighting now. 

_For better or for worse._

Though they had never said the vows to each other in an official ceremony, Viktor had made the promise silently over and over again in the days they had spent together.

_I promise I won’t give up, Yuuri. Don’t give up on me._

“Viktor,” Chris said. He looked up at his friend. “There’s something you can do that might help.”

“What is it?”

 

-Yuuri-

 

As expected, once APS got whiff that his witness had arrived, they demanded an immediate meeting with him. Yuuri consented now that he had everyone he needed to help strengthen his legal case.

He refused to have them taint his room with their scents again. Instead, he requested use of a hospital conference room. They were happy to accommodate the meeting away from a place that was supposed to be a place of healing. Ms. Vanzin offered to take care of Nika during this time. He immediately agreed to her suggestion. 

Phichit, being the best friend that he was, immediately went out and bought him loose-fitting clothes that hid his figure. Though he wasn’t showing much, the small curve of his stomach would still be noticeable given his current weight. 

The oversized sweat jacket hid everything perfectly, but he couldn’t help but worry. Phichit even had the foresight to pick out something with a high neck so no one could see his bond mark. A detail he had yet to explain to his best friend, but would eventually.

Thankfully, Phichit wasn’t one to ask too many questions. 

The ensemble was completed with a pair of skinny jeans with a stretch waist and a pair of tennis shoes. Yuuri stared at the bathroom mirror. It was strange seeing himself in normal clothes again.

_How long has it been?_

Yuuri took a tentative step outside of the bathroom. "You look great!" Phichit praised. It was a lie, but he smiled anyway.

“Thank you, Phichit.” Yuuri glanced at the clock. If he wanted to make the meeting on time, he’d have to leave now. "Walk with me?"

"Of course!"

Every step down the hall was small. Though he walked more to regain his strength, the movement was still not perfect. He hadn’t needed to walk much when kept in the compound. There were several days he couldn’t remember getting up once because of a slew of clients.

That was his past though.

Each step he took now was part of his future. 

A future that was uncertain due to the abuse of laws and services that saved thousands of lives when used correctly. Yuuri wasn’t going to let them get away with their injustice. 

He just had to keep his composure throughout the meeting. No matter what was said about him or toward him. That’s what Phichit would be there for. 

They arrived outside the conference room sooner than he had expected. With a deep breath, he walked inside. No one else was there. So he took a seat that faced the doors. He wanted to see them when they walked in and wanted them to see that he was the one in charge.

Even if they wouldn’t recognize it right away, they would soon realize just how little control they really had in this meeting.

With an eye on the clock, all that remained was to count down the minutes until he could expose them for who they really were.

 

-Plisetsky Household, Yuri-

 

The media was out in full force again. Alpha Protective Services was making a big show of the pending case against Katsuki.

He watched as a podium was set up for APS representatives. Dozens of microphones attached to the frame. His grandpa asked if he was certain that he wanted to watch.

“I have to,” he answered.

As they waited for APS to arrive, Yuri’s phone pinged. He looked down to see a familiar name had sent him a message. 

_**Received** : I hate to say this, but I agree with your grandpa. You shouldn’t watch this._

He huffed before typing a message back. 

_**Sent** : I have to. I need to know what’s going to happen._

_**Received** : You know what’s going to happen. I don’t want you to be triggered again._ 

Yuri smiled softly at the message. He had only recently gotten back in contact with Otabek, but he was already grateful for the other’s presence. They talked about him visiting soon, just so they could catch up after the last two years.

_**Sent** : I’ll be fine._

He put his phone on silent and turned it upside down. While he wasn’t completely sure that would end up being the case, Yuri still needed to see the situation for himself. Going to the hospital to visit Katsuki in person was out of the question. 

So he just had to watch the news like the rest of the country. Except he was probably one of the few that knew whatever lies the media concocted weren’t true.

A long limousine pulled up in front of the hospital. The driver got out and opened the door to reveal the Alpha Protective Services representative. They strolled up to the podium.

“Good afternoon, everyone. We would like to give you an update in regards to the case regarding Mister Nikiforov and Mister Katsuki. We are currently testing biological samples willingly provided by Russia’s living legend. As for Mister Katsuki, he has refused to allow us to collect samples from both him and the child in question. As such, we are looking into options to permanently remove the child from Mister Katsuki’s care since he has acted so hostile toward our requests. Any questions?”

“Why do you believe Mister Katsuki has been so hostile toward your requests?” 

“We’re not sure. We believe that his time “missing” made him unstable and therefore unable to make rational decisions. That is one of the many reasons why we’re looking into removing the child from his care. We believe that the child would be better off with either Mister Nikiforov himself or in protective services.”

“What is the purpose of today’s meeting?”

“We are hoping to convince Mister Katsuki to submit biological samples for testing. In addition, we also wish to resolve the custody issue without going to court.” 

“Are you confident you’ll win any and all cases against Mister Katsuki?”

“Very.”

With that answer, the Alpha Protective Services agent stepped inside the hospital.

Yuri let out a breath. 

Things were going to get ugly.

He just hoped that Katsuki would find a way to fight back.

Almost immediately after the brief press conference ended, his social media began blowing up.

Yuuri Katsuki was trending.

 

-Hospital, Yuuri-

 

His team slowly assembled. They went over their strategy for the day. He would refuse any attempts to collect biological samples of either him or his son. A Universal Judge had been notified of what APS had done earlier.

OPS advised that any court order that did not come from an office of a Universal Judge was invalid and any evidence collected would be inadmissible should things escalate. The Embassy had been in contact with the Japanese government.

They were willing to cover all legal fees and counsel as needed. The government also urged him to get out of the country as soon as possible. Of course, he refused to go anywhere without Viktor and their son. They were working to arrange travel cards and visas for them. 

In addition to the other news, the family advocate told him of the encounter with the Alpha Protective Services representative and how she had refused to sign the order. Yuuri remained silent during the retelling. All he could do was wait and _hope_ that Viktor knew some of the Universal Laws. 

As for Phichit, he merely sat next to Yuuri. His phone, surprisingly out of his hands, propped up against a water bottle.

His best friend was simply there for support. 

Which is exactly what he needed once he caught the overwhelming scent of Alpha approaching them. He tensed. Phichit’s hand covered his. A reminder that he was not alone. 

The APS representative entered the room along with two FFKK members, heads held high. Their posture perfect. They frowned at his spot facing the doorway, but didn’t say anything in regards to the position. 

“Thank you for meeting me in the conference room. My hospital room would’ve been too small to accommodate all the people I was legally entitled to through the universal laws.” 

“Not at all,” the APS representative said stiffly. “We just wished we had been informed the moment your witness had arrived so this meeting could have been held earlier.”

“In compliance with the universal laws, witnesses must be coherent for each meeting in order to encourage positive and rational discussion between both parties. I didn’t feel like he was in such condition following an almost twelve hour flight and four hour time difference,” Yuuri replied simply. 

The three shared a look before resuming the conversation. “We have a new court order to retrieve biological samples from both you and the child in your care. I believe you’ll find this one to be valid.” 

They passed over a document. He glanced it over, looking carefully at every word written on the pages provided for him. He had to find any loophole he could in order to prove his case. 

Yuuri leaned over and whispered in Thai to Phichit before passing the document on to him. His witness looked over the document with the same scrutiny as he did before it was passed along to the other members of his team. After his OPS representative looked over the document, he wanted to verify the facts. 

“Is the judge who signed off on the document a Universal Judge?” Yuuri asked. 

“Yes,” the OPS representative answered. “However, this isn’t the judge that was assigned to your case.”

“Would that invalidate the order in any way?”

“No, but it does make the legal proceedings more complicated. You could potentially face two separate trials based on the same evidence in front of the different judges because the case has been brought to the attention of multiple judges. Whichever judge issues a decision last will determine the outcome of the case. Their rule will be seen as final, even if you are acquitted in one trial and convicted in the other. Which, given the approval date on this order, would be after the one we have submitted.” 

Yuuri contemplated his representative’s words. He flickered his gaze up toward the three Alphas across the table. Their smug looks needed to disappear. 

“It’s a good thing there will only be one trial then,” he announced.

The Alphas looked at him in disbelief. “You heard your representative. This order is valid.”

“That’s not what he said,” Yuuri said calmly. He took possession of the document, making sure to catch it in the light in front for everyone to see. The seal of the Universal Judge’s office didn’t change colors. It remained solid. He proceeded to demonstrate this in front of every angle possible.

“Each seal is supposed to have a unique composition that makes it impossible to falsify. Changing colors is one of the key things to look for. In addition, there are supposed to be microfibers that are tailored for every individual judge,” Phichit explained as Yuuri demonstrated what was wrong with the seal. 

Yuuri put down the document and proceeded to peel the seal away from the paper. 

The APS representative let out a burst of angry pheromones. His hand shook at the power behind them. “Don’t do that! You’ll be breaking Universal law!”

He took a steadying breath before removing the wax seal completely. “Finally,” Yuuri said quietly. “Their seals aren’t made of wax.”

“This meeting is terminated,” the APS representative declared. 

“Very well,” Yuuri said. “I will keep this as evidence.”

The three Alphas stormed out of the room. 

Once they were gone, Yuuri felt a small sense of relief. Though he knew they still had a lot more hurdles to clear, this first step was important.

His body shook, unsettled over the free use of Alpha pheromones during the conversation. They demanded control and submission. Yuuri’s instincts almost took over. He didn’t know if he could withstand another powerful burst like that.

It brought back too many memories.

“Yuuri?” Phichit said quietly. He looked over at his best friend and blinked a few times to keep everything in focus. “Are you okay?”

“No,” he said. There was no point in trying to lie to Phichit. “I want to see my son and go back to my room. It reeks in here.”

His friend helped him stand and offered him support. With shaky legs and an uneasy feeling, Yuuri contemplated what else they would have to face.

 

-Hotel, Viktor-

 

“He what?” Ms. Savina screamed angrily.

Viktor could feel her anger from the bedroom. He and Chris retreated there in order to have some breathing room.

“How the _fuck_ does he know about that?” she yelled. There was a pause. “You should’ve made him submit. He’s just a stupid Omega!” 

He growled lightly at her demeaning language. Viktor knew exactly whom she was talking about. She had no right to speak about Yuuri that way.

“Who did you say his witness was again?” Another pause. “What do we know about him?”

He turned to look at Chris who mouthed “Phichit” at him. Instantly, he felt better that Yuuri was in such good hands.

“You’re fucking useless. I’m leading the next meeting. Maybe then you’ll learn how to get shit done.”

The door to his hotel room slammed. While Ms. Savina may have left temporarily, he knew that they weren’t truly alone. So Viktor chose a language they had in common: French. 

“Why is she so upset?” 

Chris looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’m assuming your Yuuri and Phichit aren’t giving them an easy time.”

“I’m worried,” he whispered.

“I know. They’re going to try and force him to submit.”

Viktor didn’t know what to say in response to that. Hadn’t his Yuuri been through enough? “He’ll be okay, right?”

Chris was about to answer when his notifications began to explode. His best friend opened his social media. A smirk formed on the other’s face. “Take a look for yourself.”

Viktor quickly scrolled through hundreds of tweets. Each one gave him confidence. If Yuuri was still fighting, he needed to as well.

The door to the bedroom opened. Ms. Savina walked inside. Her demeanor calm despite how angry she had sounded earlier. “I would like to readdress the custody issue with you, Mister Nikiforov.”

He handed Chris back his phone. “I’ve already expressed my desires.”

“And I still don’t believe you’re thinking rationally,” she countered. “Let’s start again with these negotiations.”

Viktor met her gaze. “No.”

She raised an eyebrow. “No?”

“I request a new Alpha Protective Services representative.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Yuuri Katsuki Breaks His Silence**

**_Kidnapped Japanese Figure Skater Talks About His Struggles Post-Rescue_ **

**By: Hisashi Morooka**

_Ever since Japanese Figure Skater, Yuuri Katsuki, had been recovered from what authorities described as a case of human trafficking, no one has heard from him directly. That all changed earlier when his former rink mate, Phichit Chulanont posted a video of Katsuki in a hospital bed on social media._

_The former figure skater has noticeably lost weight since his last public appearance. Katsuki addressed the reason he had chosen not to directly speak with the press and why the only information about his recovery came from Russia’s living legend and his fiancé, Viktor Nikiforov. The two are currently under investigation by Alpha Protective Services (APS) and the Figure Skating Federation of Russia (FFKK) for suspected Omega pheromone influence._

_Katsuki said in the video that he had wished to recover a little more before going public after his abduction. “I know it may be difficult to see me in such a condition, but I am recovering well. There will be challenges ahead, but I am looking forward to doing that with Viktor and our son by my side.”_

_He went on to say that one of those challenges was the current investigation against what he described as his family. “I am devastated,” Katsuki said while holding back tears. “I spent two years wondering and hoping that I would be back by Viktor’s side. I never imagined that if I was ever rescued, we would be forced apart.”_

_Katsuki visibly struggles to pull himself together when a nurse enters the room. The nurse proceeds to check his vitals and frowns. They declare Katuski is dangerously close to needing an IV again and tells him to hydrate and that they will arrange for a snack to be delivered to the room. The nurse also says reinserting an IV line will push back his release date. The news obviously affects Katsuki. Once the nurse leave, Chulanont is the one to ask the question that is on everyone’s mind at that point._

_“Yuuri, when are you supposed to leave the hospital?”_

_Katsuki puts on a smile before answering. “I am scheduled to be discharged in less than two weeks.” There’s a pause before Katsuki begins to cry. “I’m so scared. I don’t have anywhere to go if I’m not with Viktor. He’s my home. I won’t be able to leave Russia because of the investigation, but I also won’t be able to live or contact my soul mate.”_

_The video ends soon after that. But it caused quite a stir since it was posted after the press conference by APS outside of Katsuki’s hospital._

_In a second video posted later that same day, Katsuki and Chulanont are shown in a meeting with APS and FFKK officials. During the video, the APS representative tries to pass along a court order to retrieve a set of biological samples from Katsuki and his son, but the seal is a forgery._

_Chulanont, a recent Universal Pre-Law graduate, explains why the seal isn’t correct while Katsuki demonstrates for the camera. At the end of the video, APS and the FFKK terminate the meeting and Katsuki declares the order as evidence on his behalf._

_But perhaps the most interesting part of the second video comes as Katuski is removing the wax seal from the fake court order. The APS representative screams at him to stop and it appears to have an affect on Katsuki. Though it’s not clear what happened in that moment, Katsuki’s hand is visibly shaking in the next few frames. Some social media users have speculated that this may have been caused by a release of Alpha pheromones—which, if proven true, would constitute Omega abuse under the Universal Laws._

_No one in the video addresses what happens, but it’s clear that Katsuki is affected by the situation. We tried reaching out to Mister Nikiforov’s APS representative in this case for a statement of what happened, but did not receive a reply. There have been some who say the recording of this meeting is illegal if both parties do not consent._

_According to several legal experts we talked to, Moscow does not have any laws against filming another person without their knowledge. However, there is some doubt as to whether or not these videos can and will be admissible in court._

_While there are still many questions about what Katsuki faced during the two years he was missing, one thing is quite clear: his fight for some sense of normalcy is far from over._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me @LadyMWrites for snippets, spoilers, and skating.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is finally done!!! Sorry for taking so long, everyone. It's been hard couple of weeks and I'm slowly starting to get back on track. Thank you all for your support!
> 
> Also: Added the "Eventual happy ending" tag because people are concerned there won't be one. There will be. They deserve it!
> 
> GENERAL CHAPTER WARNING: Attempted kidnapping and mentions of a child being hit. Please take it slow or skip sections with three star warnings.
> 
> ***Three Star Warning*** For descriptions of physical/mental abuse of both an adult and child, forced abortions, panic attacks, anxiety, etc. Most of it is not super descriptive, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. I will put a bunch of stars at the end of this section.
> 
> *One Star Warnings* For panic attacks, anxiety, brief mentions of hitting a child, and attempted kidnapping
> 
>  
> 
> (Also: unedited)

-Viktor-

 

Ms. Savina stared with her mouth wide open. “What did you say?” she hissed out.

 

“I want a new Alpha Protective Services representative. You aren’t listening to what I want nor do you care. You’re hell-bent on prosecuting _my_ fiancé regardless of the actual result. All of this came about because I refused to answer one reporter’s biased question. It’s clear you think the same of Omegas and I don’t appreciate it.”

 

She scoffed. “I thought being around Alphas for an extended period of time would rid you of the poison in your system. Seems I was very wrong. Exactly how much time have you been forced to spend with _him_?”

 

Chris cleared his throat, directing the attention toward him. “Excuse me, but your presence is no longer required here. My friend demanded a new APS representative. I will put in a call to the office and sort this out. Until then, leave the hotel room before I am forced to summon security.”

 

“This isn’t over,” she said before leaving the hotel room.

 

He let out a shaky breath. “She’s going to cause more problems down the line.”

 

“I’ll call the APS office.”

 

Chris left him alone. Viktor immediately pulled out his phone to scroll through social media. So many comments on his public accounts showed support for both him and Yuuri. They used the hash tag “Viktuuri” at the end of each positive comment.

 

He composed a statement to post on his accounts.

 

_Thank you everyone for your support during this difficult time. As you have seen, Yuuri and I are fighting hard to stay together after facing one of the most painful times in both of our lives. We remain committed to each other, even though we’ve been forced apart temporarily._

_My main concern right now is making sure my family is well taken care of. Seeing that Yuuri may need to go back on an IV is devastating news. As I’ve said for the last two years, I say again: Yuuri is my soul mate. My life. My love. All I want is for him to be returned to my side. #Viktuuri_

 

Viktor posted the message and put his notifications on mute for the time being. Chris reentered the room with a frown on his face.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

 

“You’re not going to believe it.”

 

A sense of dread washed over him. Was he unable to get a new APS representative? Had their case already been decided? “What is it?” he whispered.

 

“There’s no APS representative by the last name “Savina” at the Moscow branch.”

 

He frowned. That didn’t make sense. “What?”

 

“The only paperwork filed in this case came from behalf of your Yuuri.”

 

None of it made sense. What the hell was going on? He immediately went to where the FFKK and Yakov had stayed during this entire time.

 

“Who the hell was she?” he demanded.

 

Yakov looked confused. “Vitya? What are you talking about?”

 

He pointed at the FFKK members. “That Savina woman. She’s not an APS representative. Who was she? Why the _hell_ was she here?”

 

The members exchanged glances. “We don’t know what you’re talking about. She came to us as an APS representative.”

 

“We called the Moscow branch. There’s no one there by that name.”

 

They at least had the decency to look confused. “We will get to the bottom of this.”

 

They pulled out their phones to make calls.

 

Yakov stood. “I didn’t know, Vitya.”

 

He took in a deep breath. “I know. I…if she lied about this, then what else did she lie about? Who is she really? What if…”

 

His mind went to Yuuri and Nika. They were isolating him from his fiancé. Why? Viktor couldn’t help but feel that something back was about to happen.

 

“Vitya?”

 

“We have to go to the hospital. _Now._ ”

 

-*Yuuri*-

 

Nika’s whines woke him up. He wrapped his arms around his son, hoping that it would calm him down again. It wasn’t until a few seconds later that he realized why his son was upset.

 

Overwhelming Alpha pheromones filled his nostrils.

 

He recognized the scent.

 

Yuuri’s eyes flew open to see a woman dressed as a nurse. His hospital room door closed. She was attaching an IV to the nearby stand.

 

“ _You_ ,” he growled. She gave him a lopsided grin.

 

“Hello, Yuuri.” The way she drew out his name churned his stomach. Her scent was getting stronger by the second. Commanding him to submit.

 

His grip on Nika tightened and he started to get out of bed. She growled and let out another powerful wave of pheromones. He struggled to move. Nika began to cry.

 

_Have to leave. Must protect Nika._

 

Thoughts became muddled as more pheromones were released into the air. His stomach threatened to rebel at the scent. Each step forward was slow, shaky. It was just like when he was rebuilding his strength.

 

_Get out! Get out!_

 

“Now, now, there’s no need to leave, Yuuri. Not yet at any rate.”

 

_Escape. Nika._

She grabbed his arm, but he could barely feel it given how potent the pheromones were in the room.

 

_No, no, no, no._

 

His Omega side wanted to submit, a fight his entire body was losing. He couldn’t give up yet though. Yuuri turned and delivered a blow to her, scratched at her hand. Anything to try and get her to let go.

 

_Can’t go back._

 

A prick in his skin. Through heavily lidded eyes, he could see the IV line attached to the crook of his arm. She pushed him back toward the bed. He tried to resist.

 

She let out a single tut. “Still as rebellious as ever. He’s looking forward to retraining you.”

 

The thought of being near him again renewed a fire inside Yuuri. He batted her arm away and surged toward the entrance. The IV pulled, tearing his skin.

 

That woman caught up to him. A needle pricked his other arm. “I didn’t want to use this. Too many drugs aren’t good for his baby. He’ll be upset at first, but once he learns about all the trouble you gave me…”

 

Another injection. Yuuri stumbled. Vision fading. He blinked, holding on to Nika as tight as he could as he made it toward the door.

 

“Once his child is born, you’ll go back to the whorehouse.”

 

_His child._

 

The thought made him feel sick. It wasn’t outside the realm of possibilities. There had been a retraining before they were able to escape. He just had hoped…. Yuuri felt a third prick just as his hand touched the handle of the door. “Your old room is waiting for you.”

 

One final injection was given with a burst of Alpha pheromones. His Omega side knew they weren’t getting out. He bared his neck.

 

“Seems you remember how to submit after all,” she said. Yuuri struggled to keep his eyes open. Nika’s cries became fainter with each passing second.

 

_Yura, help me._

 

-***Plisetsky Household, Yuri***-

 

Distress.

 

He knew the feeling well. He had become accustomed to a certain level in the compound thanks to his bond with Katsuki. This was different though. A sudden spike. Urgent.

 

Something was _very_ wrong.

 

Convincing his grandpa to take him to the hospital hadn’t been easy. The entire ride there, he shook his leg—leaning into the emotions he felt through the bond. Waves of panic slowly began to fade.

 

Normally this would be a good sign, but the way the feelings flickered in and out concerned him.

 

It was almost like the day Nika was born…

 

He knew exactly how well that turned out.

 

_Please hang on until I get there._

 

Once they made it outside the hospital’s entrance by the parking garage, he sprinted toward Katsuki’s room. His thoughts racing as the last bit of emotion through the bond faded out.

 

The elevator wasn’t fast enough for his liking, but taking the stairs all the way to the top floor of the damn hospital wasn’t an option.

 

_Katsuki, reach out to me. I need to feel you._

 

Nothing.

 

Fear and dread grew with each passing second. His body shook. What if…

 

He couldn’t afford to think like that.

 

The elevator doors opened, allowing him the freedom to race down the hallway. No one was in sight. Everything was too quiet. Cries echoed as he got closer to Katsuki’s room. Once he rounded the corner, Yuri saw Nika on the floor.

 

His heart ached.

 

“Nika!” The toddler turned toward him.

 

As he approached the child, he could see red drops running down the toddler’s face.

 

_Not again._

 

Yuri bent down to scoop the child into his arms. He examined the toddler’s face. A bloody nose, bruises forming on the little one’s face. Nika didn’t throw his left arm around him, but kept it close to him.

 

“Oh, Nika.” He kissed the toddler’s head. Yuri walked toward Katsuki’s room. As expected, it was empty. The heavy presence of Alpha pheromones made him sick. He knew this smell. “Where did they take Katsuki?”

 

Nika babbled and pointed out of the room. Yuri walked with the toddler. Who kept pointing, doing his best to sniff out where the Omega had gone.

 

Where the fuck was everyone?

 

“Yurio!” He snapped his head to see Viktor, out of breath.

 

“Old man,” he grumbled.

 

“Where’s Yuuri?”

 

His chest tightened. “I don’t know. I got here just a few minutes ago myself. Nika was in the hallway. What the hell is going on?”

 

Viktor waved a dismissive hand. “I’ll explain later. For now, we need to find Yuuri.”

 

He nodded. “Where the hell is the hospital staff?”

 

Viktor froze at his words. Then he bit out a curse. “Do your best to find Yuuri.”

 

It seemed like the odds were stacked against them. They had several floors of a hospital to cover and a slow start in their search. Yakov had called police to their location.

 

Minutes stretched into hours with no sign of Katsuki.

 

There were whispers that he had been kidnapped again. Yuri held Nika close to him as he fought off a panic attack.

 

“At least they didn’t get the child.”

 

The sentence is what caused him to rush off to the bathroom. How could they be grateful for that? Katsuki was fucking missing. Nika held on to his shirt tightly. The toddler trembling as he emptied his guts.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Nika sniffed. Yuri fought back tears. “I couldn’t protect him again.”

 

The bathroom door swung open. “Yurio!”

 

With shaky legs, he picked himself and Nika off the floor. Yuri exited the stall. “What is it?”

 

“They found him!”

 

-*Yuuri*-

 

His body felt heavy. Limbs wouldn’t move.

 

Everything dark.

 

Thoughts muddled.

 

What was he doing?

 

Where was he?

 

_Nika._

 

He had to protect Nika.

 

_Can’t go back. Keep fighting._

 

Nausea bubbled. Gentle pressure. Movement. His body expelled everything in his stomach. Hurt.

 

Breaths came out heavy. More movement.

 

“Nika,” he said weakly. Where was his son?

 

His sense of smell began to return. Fear. Tears.

 

Then a familiar feeling. Small, shaky body on his.

 

Yuuri couldn’t feel parts of his body still, but he could register the weight of someone small. Babbles.

 

_Nika._

 

All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around his son.

 

But he couldn’t.

 

So all he could do was relish in the fact that his son was with him. Even if he didn’t know where he was.

 

An unknown that terrified him as sleep washed over him once again. Powerless to fight against it even if he tried.

 

_Please, let us be safe._

 

Even though he knew the chances of that weren’t in his favor.

 

-*Viktor*-

 

He couldn’t breathe very well. Yuuri had only stirred briefly to throw up before being dragged under again. Even with the doctor’s explanation that it was only to get rid of the significant amount of anesthesia in his fiancé’s body. Just _seeing_ everything happening was too much.

 

Viktor felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked back.

 

_Chris._

 

Phichit had arrived during the chaos and stood by his best friend. No one dared to say anything. Yurio had left the room to speak with officers about the identity of the woman. Apparently, it was someone familiar to both him and his fiancé.

 

The thought made him sick.

 

Even though the two had escaped from that hellhole, they weren’t truly safe.

 

_They only came after my Yuuri._

 

Nika clung to Yuuri’s sleeping form. Tears still flowed from the toddler’s eyes. His son didn’t want to be touched by anyone but his fiancé or Yurio. The fact that he couldn’t even comfort his own son hurt significantly more than Viktor was willing to admit.

 

It added to the continued pain that the way things had been would no longer work for them.

 

The door to the hospital room swung open. Yurio walked inside. Expression unreadable. Viktor took in a deep breath, preparing himself for the worst. They needed to talk. Needed to mend fences.

 

The teenage Alpha took a spot as close to Yuuri and Nika as possible. His hand immediately carded through the toddler’s soft locks of hair. Immediately, he saw the difference in his son.

 

No one said a word. They watched the scene happen.

 

He kept his thoughts to himself. At least for now. Right now, making sure his son was taken care of and that Yuuri would be all right were his main priorities. If having Yurio there would help, then Viktor would allow it to happen.

 

Several moments later, only a nurse remained to monitor his fiancé’s vital signs.

 

The steady beep of the machines hooked up to Yuuri became a source of fixation. Every sound was a reminder that his fiancé was alive. Was still with them. For now.

 

“He didn’t deserve this,” Yurio whispered. The words shattered their fake illusion that things were fine. His heart ached. “We should have known.”

 

The four words came out broken. They hurt to hear.

 

But they really should have.

 

“I’m sorry,” Viktor said quietly.

 

Yurio looked at him. “Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong.”

 

 _But they did_ went unspoken.

 

Viktor felt the anger in Yurio’s words, but none of it was directed at him. Yurio was upset at the circumstances. The fact that this had to happen just as healing was beginning. Angry that those responsible were still out there. Could still reach them. Were still targeting Yuuri.

 

Rarely did they see eye-to-eye, but in this moment, they were feeling the exact same thing.

 

“May I…ask you a few questions?” he asked. Viktor didn’t want to set off the teen again. Didn’t know if there was a reason he hadn’t volunteered any information about the identity of the Alpha who assaulted his fiancé.

 

“Only if you answer mine,” Yurio answered.

 

He nodded. “Of course.” They were in this together, no matter what happened in the future.

 

“How do you know the woman?” Viktor began.

 

Yurio’s face tightened. Lips thinned. “Have to ask the hardest questions first,” the teen grumbled. “I don’t know how much Katsuki’s told you so I’ll keep the answer short. That woman tortured your fiancé. She used to make him an example to the other Omegas. Katsuki…he’d fight. He got punished for that in different ways. I’d be forced to watch. She’s the reason why Katsuki and Nika have a lot of their scars.”

 

His son had scars? Where? Why hadn’t he noticed them before?

 

Viktor had more questions than answers now. But he knew that it wasn’t the time to ask them.

 

“How did she get involved with you?” Yurio asked.

 

He swallowed. “She pretended to be an APS representative.”

 

The teen frowned. “She was behind all the lies then? I knew they weren’t true. I just…never thought they’d come after either of us again.”

 

Viktor understood the sentiment. Of all the scenarios he had envisioned, the potential for a second kidnapping never crossed his mind.

 

_We aren’t safe._

 

Yakov entered the room. “What did you find out from the hospital staff?” Yurio asked.

 

“They believe several members of their roster were paid off by whoever organized the attempted kidnapping to disappear long enough for them to make their escape. They’re reviewing security cameras with police and conducting their own personal investigation.”

 

“Which ultimately failed since we arrived sooner than they expected,” Yurio concluded. “Where’d they find Katsuki anyway?”

 

“In an ambulance,” he answered. “They probably would’ve gotten away if police hadn’t responded as quickly as they did.”

 

Yurio remained silent for a brief moment.

 

Then, “Fuck.”

 

“Language,” Yakov reprimanded. Though there was no fire behind the statement. A reflexive habit more than anything.

 

He saw the change in Yurio immediately. The trembles were well-concealed, but every time the fingers went to comb through Nika’s hair, they shook.

 

-*Yuri*-

 

 _I’m next_.

 

It was a selfish thought. No one had tried to fucking kidnap him from a hospital. He was discharged. Free.

 

But not really.

 

He didn’t have protection. Security. They could easily take him back.

 

It wasn’t a secret where he had gone to stay after being released. Public records could easily lead them straight to his grandpa’s home. He had to go back to Lilia’s as soon as possible.

 

She had security. Her place was safe.

 

Yuri couldn’t let them invade his grandpa’s home. Couldn’t go back.

 

“Fuck,” he said.

 

Yakov immediately responded to his word choice, but he didn’t care.

 

They wouldn’t have found Katsuki if the ambulance had made it out of the garage. He would’ve disappeared. Possibly forever this time.

 

The thought made him sick. He reached out to touch Nika again, to run his hands through the toddler’s hair.

 

It calmed him briefly. He realized Nika remained untreated.

 

“Why hasn’t Nika been helped?”

 

“He won’t let anyone but you or Yuuri go near him,” Viktor explained.

 

Yuri sighed. “Nika,” he said gently. The toddler turned to look at him. The bruise had grown in size. “Come here.”

 

The toddler lifted himself off Katsuki, wincing when putting weight on one arm. The child walked over to him, arms outstretched. Yuri embraced Nika gently. Fresh tears fell from the other’s eyes.

 

“Shh, it’s okay.” He rocked Nika back and forth, pressing the toddler’s head against his chest. Yuri began to hum softly. It brought him back to the first few days after Nika’s birth. Katsuki was still recovering and the newborn needed to be comforted in some way.

 

So he did everything he could to help the newborn sleep. By accident, he discovered how much Nika loved listening to people’s heartbeats.

 

“We need to get you cleaned up,” he whispered. Once Nika had calmed down enough, a nurse examined the child. Though it wasn’t as thorough as she would’ve liked. The arm was bruised and swollen, same with his cheek. That bitch had hit him and likely twisted Nika’s arm to force him to let go.

 

Ice packs were given for both injuries, but the toddler didn’t like them at all. He kissed the top of Nika’s head. “It’ll help you feel better.”

 

Even though he knew Nika probably didn’t understand all of his words, he knew the toddler understood enough of them to stop fighting him when placing the packs against his skin. Yuri resumed humming and rocking.

 

Katsuki shifted, drawing everyone’s attention. The Omega didn’t return to consciousness. He didn’t know how to process everything that had happened. Wouldn’t until Yuri knew exactly how Katsuki was doing.

 

Nika whined and tugged away from him. Yuri knew he wanted to go back to Katsuki.

 

He gently placed the child on Katsuki’s chest, ear pressed against the Omega’s heartbeat. Ice packs secured in place, he returned his hand to run through the black locks. The toddler began to fall asleep.

 

_I’m sorry I left you two._

 

-Viktor-

 

He watched Yurio calm down his child. Hold him close. Comfort him. Everything that he wanted to do, but couldn’t.

 

_Nika chose Yurio over me._

 

What was his role going forward? How did he fit in the family Yuuri, Nika, and Yurio had created in his absence?

 

“You’re thinking too much,” Chris whispered. He forced himself to look away at the three people in their own little world. He was an outsider to them.

 

Just seeing them caused his heart to ache.

 

“You don’t know the feeling,” Viktor retorted.

 

Chris gave his shoulder a squeeze. “No, but I know he’s not trying to force you out. You need to find a way to include little Yuri in your family dynamic. He’s not replacing you. He’s just another support system for them.”

 

Viktor nodded. It was a long-overdue conversation between them. “Can we have the room, please?”

 

The other two nodded and stepped out. Yakov gave him a pat on his shoulder before leaving as well. He took a deep breath.

 

Now was the time for a rational conversation.

 

As two people who cared deeply for Yuuri and Nika.

 

They had to figure this out. For everyone’s sake.

 

He didn’t know how to begin this conversation. He continued to watch Yurio interact with his sleeping son. Yuuri remained still now that Nika was back on his stomach.

 

The steady beeping from the monitors drowned out any other noise.

 

_Yuuri’s alive._

  
Viktor took the chair on the opposite site of Yuuri’s bed. He could see the dried tears on Nika’s face. A giant bruise only covered by an ice pack. War wounds. Reminders of the horrors this day carried.

 

He almost lost them again.

 

The thought brought tears to his eyes. He reached out to touch his son. Nika let out a contented sigh at the contact.

 

Viktor kissed both Nika and Yuuri’s foreheads before settling down again. He needed them to be okay.

 

And if “them” included Yurio…

 

“They still need you,” Viktor said quietly. The teen lifted his head to look at him. He took a deep breath to continue the conversation forward. “You’re an important part of their lives.”

 

“We’re not in the compound anymore.”

 

_Though we had a close call._

 

“Just because you’re not, doesn’t mean that you still don’t need each other. You’re family to them.”

 

Yurio studied him for a long time before looking down at Yuuri and Nika.

 

“What am I to you?

 

The question caught him off guard. This wasn’t about him. This was all about what his fiancé and son needed. He eyed the teen’s body language.

 

Fear.

 

Not at his past actions, though they were reprehensible. Viktor was familiar with this reaction.

 

Yurio was afraid of being rejected by him.

 

“You’ve always been part of my family. Always will be.”

 

The teen shifted in the chair. “Even though I’m still bonded to him?”

 

Viktor nodded. “I regret that night so much. I should have never reacted that way. I know what you did was out of survival. You did nothing wrong. I’m so sorry. I hurt you. You’re one of the last people I want to hurt, Yuri.”

 

At the use of the young Alpha’s name, Yurio’s head snapped up. Viktor waited for a response. He knew it would take more than that to repair the damaged he had caused. However, he wanted to know that they were going to try and work things out.

 

For Yuuri and Nika.

 

“What does this mean going forward?” Yurio asked.

 

Viktor contemplated his words. “I don’t know entirely. That’s a discussion for you and Yuuri. I…just know that they want you to visit them.”

 

The teen nodded. “What about after he’s discharged?”

 

He didn’t know what their plans would be now. Staying in Moscow wasn’t an option. They were too vulnerable here. Anyone could try again. “I need to discuss the options with his physician. But, we’re not staying in Moscow. I don’t think I can handle it.”

 

“Are you still going back to Saint Petersburg?”

 

Viktor couldn’t answer. “At least temporarily.”

 

“And then what? Are you going back to Hasetsu?” _Are you going to leave me again?_

 

He sucked in a deep breath. “Yuuri wants to. But we won’t move without telling you.” _Or giving you the opportunity to come with us._

 

Yurio fell silent again. “I haven’t forgiven you.”

 

“I know.”

 

“But I…” _Need to be around them too._

 

He offered a small smile. “I know. We’ll make it work.”

 

Their peace was shattered when the hospital door opened. An officer walked into the room and immediately addressed them. “We caught her. We’d like you two pick her out of a lineup.”

 

Viktor couldn’t read the expression on the teen’s face. “Now?” Yurio asked.

 

“As soon as possible.”

 

Yurio nodded and stood. Viktor hesitated. “I can’t leave Yuuri.”

 

“Phichit and Chris can watch him.”

 

The thought of leaving his fiancé in the hospital where he was almost kidnapped didn’t sit well. Viktor chewed on his lower lip.

 

“We also have police at every entrance and exit out of the hospital. In addition, we have three members outside Mister Katsuki’s room,” the officer added.

 

It wasn’t enough.

 

Would never be enough.

 

He shouldn’t be afraid to leave Yuuri.

 

This wasn’t how he envisioned his future.

 

Their future.

 

-*Yuuri*-

 

_Not safe._

 

His body was heavy. Difficult to move.

 

_Not safe. Not safe._

 

Was he tied to a post? His old bed?

 

_Not safe. Not safe. Not safe._

 

Was Nika with him? Yura? Or was he alone?

 

_Not safe. Not safe. Not safe. NotsafeNotsafeNotsafeNotsafe._

He had to move. Had to wake up. Had to fight.

 

In the distance, he could hear a man’s voice. Deep. Smooth.

 

Very different from _that man’s_ voice.

 

A second voice chimed in.

 

Soft. Warm.

 

_Phichit._

 

Was his mind playing tricks on him?

 

Had to be.

 

He wasn’t safe.

 

This was a trap.

 

Nausea bubbled again. A firm hand helped roll him over.

 

After the second round, he felt better. Everything was still heavy.

 

His eyes refused to open.

 

He had to know where he was.

 

“Yuuri?” It was strange to hear his real name. They only referred him by derogatory names in the compound. He could feel a hand touch his. It was Warm. Firm.

 

His mind immediately panicked. They were going to ruin the only touch he could stand.

 

“Yuuri, it’s Phichit. You’re safe. They caught the person who tried to take you. You’re not back in that place. I’m here with Chris.” He felt something crawl near him. A laugh. “Nika’s here too. He’s trying to get you to hold him.”

 

He wanted to give Nika what he wanted. But his arms didn’t want to move still. Yuuri could feel his arms being placed for him. One on the toddler’s back. Another hand on his son’s head.

 

_Thank you._

 

“Viktor and Yuri are identifying the person who tried to take you. Rest until they get back.”

 

He didn’t have much choice. The lingering drugs in his system pulled him back under.

 

At least he knew they were safe.

 

For now.

 

-***Yuri***-

 

The moment they walked into the police station, he could smell the bitch. Yuri paused. Stomach churning slightly. Her overwhelming Alpha pheromones brought back too many memories. He took a deep breath, well aware that Viktor and the officers escorting them were looking at him.

 

_You can do this._

 

He took a small step forward. He refused to let her win. She needed to be locked up forever for all the shit she put him, Nika, and Katsuki through.

 

_Only you can make that happen._

 

Every step after that gained more confidence. Even though her scent made him sick, he would still pick her out. Give his statement. Anything to get justice.

 

And some peace.

 

They were escorted into a small room. He could see where the others would be lined up.

 

“Just to go over this, I want you to identify her from the lineup. If you have time, I’d like each of you to make a statement after this so we can determine the appropriate charges she will face.”

 

He nodded. The officer spoke into an intercom. One by one, they filed in to the room. Yuri dismissed each and every one of them.

 

The fifth person walked in. Dressed in scrubs, thin brown hair disheveled. He could smell the anger radiating off her. It took all his power not to shake from the amount of memories rushing through his mind.

 

Every scar she carved into Katsuki and Nika made his blood boil.

 

He wanted to hurt her. Give her the same number of scars she gave them. Physically and emotionally.

 

They went through every person of the lineup. Yuri vaguely heard the instructions for them to move, but his eyes never left hers.

 

“Was the person responsible in that lineup?”

 

He nodded while Viktor gave a verbal answer. They both identified the same person. No hesitation. The officers escorted them out of the room.

 

“Do you want to give your statements separately or together?”

 

“Together,” Yuri answered immediately.

 

Viktor looked at him. “Are you sure? I know…how difficult it is to talk about what happened.”

 

He met the older man’s gaze. “I need you for support.”

 

An extension of trust.

 

“Okay.”

 

They were led into an office. Viktor went first. Describing in detail everything he knew about the woman. How she approached the FFKK and said she was an APS representative. How she kept him confined to his room. Her behavior. The threats she made against Katsuki and her own colluders.

 

When asked how many were involved, Viktor couldn’t say for certain.

 

But it was a starting point.

 

“Are you ready?”

 

The question jerked him back to reality. Right. He had to tell them his side of the story. Yuri dug his nails into his palm and took several breaths.

 

_You can do this._

 

This was everything she had done she had done to Katsuki. To Nika. She would pay. They would heal.

 

_So will you._

 

“She was one of the women in charge of the Omega house at the compound,” he began. “We never knew her real name, but she would constantly make an example out of Katsuki because he resisted. She…marked into his skin how many times she had to “retrain” him. Which meant she broke him.”

 

“What do you mean by “broke him,” Mister Plisetsky?” the officer asked gently.

 

He tried to think of the best way to word it. “Broke him to the point where he couldn’t physically or emotionally function. Almost like an Omega drop, but worse. Before…Katsuki gave birth the first time, she would just physically assault him. Then after Nika was born, she began hurting the child too.”

 

“Nika is Mister Katsuki’s son?”

 

“And Viktor’s,” Yuri added.

 

“How would she hurt the child?”

 

“With her fists mostly, but sometimes with a knife.”

 

Angry Alpha pheromones filled his scent. He stopped his testimony and looked over at Viktor. Yuri knew this wasn’t the best idea. For Viktor to find out this way. But he needed the support.

 

The older Alpha caught his gaze before realizing what was happening. “Sorry.”

 

The anger slowly disappeared. “She also induced several of Katsuki’s pregnancies prematurely.”

 

“How many and did they result in miscarriages?”

 

He bit his lip. Viktor was getting angry again. He didn’t want to reveal the number.

 

“Can I write the number down?”

 

The officer wrote a paragraph on a blank piece of paper before sliding it toward him with a pen. “Fill the blank spaces and sign.”

 

Yuri looked it over. It merely stated that the person taken into custody was responsible for inducing and causing the miscarriage of Omega pregnancies.

 

He wrote in Katsuki’s name to identify the Omega in question. Then added a three in number of pregnancies and four for the number of children miscarried. Yuri added his signature at the bottom of the paper and folded it before passing it back to the officer.

 

The officer unfolded it and took a look at it. “Okay. Did she ever physically harm you?”

 

A deep breath. “No. She never harmed me physically. But she would hurt Katsuki and Nika in my presence.”

 

The rest of giving his testimony was a blur. As they were escorted back to the hospital, all he wanted to do was rest. Before they got in the car, Viktor pulled him into a hug. Yuri tensed for a brief moment before relaxing.

 

“I’m sorry you had to relive some of your worst days,” Viktor whispered. “But thank you for trusting me to be there while you told your story.”

 

He fought back tears. For that brief moment, he didn’t have to be strong for the sake of everyone else.

 

Yuri could be vulnerable.

 

It was a refreshing feeling.

 

_I want this to work out._

 

***************************************

 

-*Yuuri*-

 

His eyes fluttered open. All he could register was the color white. Blurry eyes tried to focus, but couldn’t. His body still felt heavy, but nowhere near to the degree of earlier. This time, he could actually move his limbs.

 

“Yuuri?” he heard. He turned his head to meet the eyes of his fiancé.

 

“Viktor.” A glass of water was put in front of him. He followed the hand to see Yura there too. “Thank you.”

 

Viktor helped him sit up. He took the drink with shaky hands. Yura didn’t pull his away, merely help keep the glass steady. After downing two cups of water and having glasses returned to his face, Yuuri could now see the others in the room.

 

Phichit. Chris.

 

He felt something squirm in his lap.

 

Nika.

 

The toddler stood up and pressed his head against Yuuri’s chest. He brought a shaky arm to comfort his son.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Nika pulled his face away and looked up at him. A bruise evident on the toddler’s face. A burst of anger rushed through him. She had hit his son.

 

_Again._

 

“Katsuki,” Yura said. He didn’t stop fussing over Nika. She would pay. “Katsuki.”

 

The firmness caused him to glance up at the teenaged Alpha. “Yura?”

 

“They caught her.”

 

_What?_

 

He tried to process the words. “Who did?”

 

“The police. They took her into custody. They’re figuring out what to charge her with as we speak.”

 

Yuuri didn’t know how to feel about the news. A part of him was relieved. Another felt their battle was far from over.

 

“They’ll want you to give a statement,” Viktor said quietly. He didn’t want to.

 

_I’ve been through enough._

 

“I don’t want to stay here,” he said. “Not safe.”

 

He couldn’t relax now that he was awake. The hospital wasn’t safe. Even if they took her into custody, there were others who could come.

 

Viktor took his hand. He gently squeezed it, grounding himself with the touch. “I’ve already talked to the hospital directors, we’ve been given the clear for you to leave if you make it through the next 24 hours without complications. I’m arranging for a private nurse to take care of you for the remainder of the time you were supposed to be hospitalized. Police will be outside your door until you’re discharged.”

 

The words did little to ease his nerves.

 

Instead, he went back to fussing over Nika. Taking care of his son kept him busy. If Yuuri could keep himself occupied, then he wouldn’t worry about what could happen.

 

_Escape._

 

His mind still sensed danger.

 

They wouldn’t be safe unless they went back to Japan. No one had tried to harm him there. He’d be surrounded by family. They wouldn’t have to live in fear of being taken again.

 

“Yuuri.” He ignored the call from his fiancé.

 

_Not safe._

 

“Yuuri.” The call was more distant than the last.

 

_Not safe._

 

“Katsuki!”

 

He jolted at Yura’s voice. He forced himself to look at the teenage Alpha.

 

“Talk to us.” It was a demand.

 

Yuuri didn’t know what to say to them. All he could think about was how close he had been to being separated from them again. How Nika had gotten hurt at the hands of that evil woman once more. He had failed.

 

Yura climbed into bed next to him. He tensed.

 

_It’s just Yura. He’s safe._

 

Knowing that did little to ease the fear and panic lingering underneath the surface. “If you don’t talk to us, you’ll fall into a drop. Then you won’t be safe for a long time,” the teenage Alpha said. Yura offered his neck.

 

Without hesitation, he sucked in the scent of his platonic bond mate. He wrapped his arms around Yura and finally let his guard down.

 

One tear turned into several more. While being comforted by Yura, he let told everyone his fears.

 

Every one of them did their best to reassure that everything would be fine. No one would come after him and Nika again.

 

He allowed Viktor to join him on the other side of the bed. It was only when he was surrounded by Yura, his fiancé, and son that he was able to drift off to sleep.

 

And one day later, all of them were on a plane heading back to Saint Petersburg.

 

Scarred. Shaken. Bruised. Broken.

 

But determined more than ever to continue their fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, 2018 hasn't killed me yet so here's an update! Sorry for my absence. Had to deal with a lot of stuff very close together and now I'm finally able to get back into my routine.
> 
> *One star warning* for anxiety/panic attack. Nothing too bad, just Yuuri has a hard time with readjusting back to normal things.
> 
> Other warnings: unedited chapter

-*Saint Petersburg, Yuuri*-

 

As the familiar skyline came to view, his nervousness increased. Being back in the city where it all began only served as a reminder that they were still vulnerable. If they found him once here, they could easily do so again.

 

He held Nika closer to him, using their son to ground him.

 

_I can do this._

 

They just had to clear a few more hurdles before they could settle into the life they were meant to have.

 

_If we make it._

 

They hadn’t spoken any more about the incident in Moscow. He avoided the topic. His thoughts continued to run wild. His guard always up—watching and waiting for the next thing to go wrong.

 

How many more times did he have to suffer at the hands of those monsters? Would they actually be caught? Sentenced?

 

He didn’t know.

 

And not knowing meant he couldn’t fully trust anyone around him.

 

On the ride to their old apartment, it didn’t escape his notice that they were taking the long way around. Viktor was avoiding driving past the rink.

 

The realization only caused more confusion on his end.

 

But he couldn’t talk about it. Couldn’t let anyone see the doubts he was having. He had to be strong.

 

The walk back to their former home was familiar. Past memories of when they climbed these steps, hand in hand, came flooding back. Viktor’s arm wrapped around him securely. The two of them giggling, playfully fighting over who loved the other more. Their drunken attempts to walk up the stairs and constantly accidentally bumping into each other. Which collapsed them into a fit of laughter that took fifteen minutes under control.

 

Or the days he was vaguely aware that Viktor was leading him up the stairs while he was tired from practice or after a crippling panic attack. And the moments when he’d return the favor.

 

All the good memories they had shared temporarily overwhelmed his desire to remain numb to his thoughts and feelings.

 

This was their home.

 

Where they planned to raise a family together after retirement.

 

Where they danced in the living room.

 

Where they held each other tight at nights, shared their most intimate moments together, and where they had merged their separate lives into one.

 

Viktor opened the door of their place.

 

“Welcome home,” his fiancé whispered.

 

He walked inside. How many times had he dreamed about being back in this place, knowing that he was safe and protected?

 

Tears stung his eyes. Not much had changed. Everything they had decorated together was still the same. The only thing absent were their scents.

 

“I have a surprise for you,” Viktor said quietly. “Can I show it to you?”

 

Yuuri could only nod. He followed his fiancé down the hallway. Viktor pushed open the door to the guest bedroom. His breath caught in his throat.

 

Tears slid down his face. “When did you have time for this?”

 

Deep chestnut finishes stood out against the light blue-grey tones of the wall. Everything they could need for Nika was in the room.

 

“I had some help,” Viktor answered softly. “Chris did the shopping. Phichit was putting it all together until you called him. I hired someone to finish it before we arrived.”

 

“It’s perfect. Thank you.”

 

Nika squirmed in his arms—eager to explore the new space. He put their son down. The toddler wasted no time in pulling out every toy before coming back to Phichit and whining.

 

“Use your words,” Yuuri encouraged. The toddler babbled and pointed at the bag containing the books and stuffed poodle Viktor had bought.

 

Phichit set the bag down. Nika wasted no time pulling out what he wanted. The books went on the floor next to the rest of the toys, but the poodle stayed in his hand.

 

Nika walked over to Viktor and offered the toy to him and babbled.

 

“Do you want the toy to smell like papa?” Nika’s eyes lit up and he nodded. “Okay.”

 

It took only a few seconds to make the poodle smell like Viktor. When it was placed back in Nika’s hands, the toddler put it to his nose to sniff it. Satisfied, Nika began bringing other stuffed animals to Viktor to scent them.

 

Yuuri smiled at his son’s antics. Tiredness washed over him now that he knew Nika was going to adjust well to the new environment.

 

“Viktor,” he said quietly. “Is there a place where I can lie down for a little bit?”

 

“Of course! You can sleep in our room.”

 

He froze. Eyes widened. Their room?

 

Did Viktor expect them to sleep together?

 

He couldn’t handle that. It was too much too soon. His lungs burned, needing air. But Yuuri couldn’t breathe.

 

“O-our room?” he managed to get out.

 

The moment Viktor realized the weight of his words played out in slow motion.

 

“Our old room. It’s closer to Nika’s. I figured you’d want to be as close to him as possible. I’m staying in the other guest room. I would never—” The rest of Viktor’s words died out.

 

He took in a deep breath. They wouldn’t be sleeping together.

 

_You can handle this._

 

Yuuri forced a smile. “Thanks.”

 

He hastily walked out of the room—trying to get more air into his lungs.

 

_Deep breath. Everything is fine._

 

“Yuuri,” he could hear faintly. The voice didn’t belong to Viktor or Chris.

 

_Phichit._

 

“Are you okay?”

 

He nodded—unable to speak.

 

“You’re really not. Can I come with you and help you get settled?”

 

He contemplated the words for a moment before nodding. They walked into the master bedroom.

 

It was strange to be there. The bedding hadn’t been replaced. It was the comforter he and Viktor had spent hours picking out together. Yuuri ran his fingers over it. Soft and gentle against his skin.

 

The sheets didn’t irritate his skin. The windows didn’t have bars on them.

 

His old clothes filled the drawers and the walk-in closet. He had choices. He didn’t have to be naked all the time.

 

“Do you want a bath?” Phichit asked. He nodded. A bath sounded lovely. “Pick out your clothes, I’ll draw one for you.”

 

His best friend went off to the en suite. Yuuri stared at the options before him. There were so many choices, he didn’t know where to begin. Every drawer he opened presented more possibilities.  


Choosing something so simple shouldn’t have been this difficult. Yuuri opened every drawer and took in the numerous choices he could make. His chest hurt again. Vision blackened briefly. Something wet fell down his face.

 

_Oh. I’m crying again._

 

These weren’t tears of joy though.

 

This was panic and fear. What should he wear?

 

He could put on anything he wanted. Yuuri had options. Being fully naked wasn’t a requirement here.

 

_You’re safe. You won’t have people visiting you for your services._

 

The more he told himself that, the more he didn’t believe it. What if it was all a trap?

 

“Yuuri?” he heard. He looked in the direction of the voice. Through his tears, he could see Phichit standing a few feet away. “What’s wrong?”

 

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. The tears fell harder as he tried to talk about his struggle with choosing clothes.

 

_He’ll think it’s stupid. He won’t understand._

 

The harsh thoughts echoing in his mind pushed him further into his panic.

 

“Choices,” Yuuri managed to get out. He gestured toward the clothes in the drawers. Phichit didn’t say anything. More tears fell.

 

_He doesn’t get it. He thinks you’re crazy._

 

“I’ll pick something out for you and put it on the bed. Go take the bath while the water’s still hot,” Phichit said gently.

 

Yuuri opened his mouth, wanting to thank his friend for understanding. Nothing came out. He nodded and rushed off to the en suite.

 

When he imagined readjusting to a normal routine again, he didn’t expect to get hung up on something so simple.

 

Clothes.

 

He’d worn clothes for most of his life.

 

He should’ve been able to make the decision by himself.

 

But it had been two years since he had been allowed to make a choice about his appearance.

 

_It’s a normal activity. Why is it so hard?_

 

Yuuri stepped into the hot water Phichit had drawn for him. The smell of lavender filled the bathroom. He decided to push the thoughts of his earlier meltdown aside and try to focus on relaxing.

 

-Viktor-

 

When Phichit reentered Nika’s bedroom, he did everything he could not to immediately ask what happened. The younger man didn’t say anything, but Viktor could tell something was off. All he wanted was to make sure Yuuri was okay. Would be all right.

 

Readjusting to this place may be hard, but Viktor would go to hell and back to make sure the love of his life was comfortable and could recover with the knowledge that they were safe here. If Yuuri couldn’t relax in this environment, then they would have to discuss a different path forward. Going back to Hasetsu would be the next logical step for them.

 

They just had to make his retirement official.

 

_Soon._

 

Yakov was working with the media to schedule a day for all the media to come out and see his programs. It would be the final performance of Viktor Nikiforov. Not out in a blaze of glory on the medal stand, but quietly.

 

His next chapter in life was beginning.

 

He already had missed out on two years of that future. Viktor wasn’t going to miss out on any more.

 

“How is Yuuri doing?” Chris asked softly. The inquiry drew his attention to the others in the room.

 

Phichit shook his head. “He’s overwhelmed. I think part of it is readjusting to the life he had before. Another part is something he needs to work out with a professional.”

 

“Have you arranged for a new psychologist, Viktor?”

 

He nodded. “I’ve set up an appointment for the day after tomorrow.”

 

Phichit let out a heavy sigh. “I’m staying in Russia until he meets with them.”

 

“I’ll stay too,” Chris added. “You still have practice, Viktor, and you’ll need two people who can watch Nika and Yuuri.”

 

Viktor didn’t protest. Having a couple extra hands at first would be nice. There would be adjustments that needed to be made. They would have to find out exactly what will have to change.

 

“I’ll pay for the hotel room,” he offered.

 

Before the other two could accept his offer, Yuuri walked in the room. He was dressed in a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants. Nika immediately ran over toward him. His fiancé didn’t hesitate to sweep their son into his arms.

 

“Phichit…can I borrow you?” Yuuri asked. He avoided making eye contact with them, fussing over Nika instead.

 

“Of course!” the other answered happily. The three of them left the room. He let out a heavy sigh before beginning to clean up the mess Nika had made.

 

“Home all of thirty minutes and he’s already destroyed his room,” Viktor chuckled.

 

“He’s going to be a handful,” Chris said. “Just like his papa.”

 

He groaned. “Chris! You wound me! I may never recover!”

 

“Nonsense, Nika’s smile can add ten years to a person’s life. Curer of all wounds.”

 

Viktor couldn’t argue with that. His son was adorable. They were mostly done with the toys when Phichit walked in.

 

“Poodle?” the younger man asked.

 

Chris handed it to Phichit, which was promptly shoved in his face. “I’ve been given strict instructions to make sure you scent it thoroughly before I return.”

 

He smiled. “Of course.”

 

“So, what did Yuuri want to borrow you for? I assume not to collect all of Nika’s toys.”

 

Phichit shook his head. “He wants me to sleep on the floor. Says he doesn’t want to be alone. He’s pushing himself though. I know he doesn’t really want me around him right now, but I’m the best option he’s got out of everyone who’s available.”

 

Yurio had gone his separate ways once they landed. Yakov took him straight to Lilia’s home. And despite their last day at the hospital, Viktor knew that the only reason his fiancé had felt comfortable with him there was because of the teenaged Alpha.

 

The realization hurt less than it would have at the beginning of their recovery. His grip tightened around the poodle in his hands. Though the dull ache in his chest was still there. Viktor knew they’d have to rebuild that trust in their relationship.

 

All he wanted was to hold the love of his life in his arms again. To kiss the top of Yuuri’s forehead.

 

To have any bit of who his fiancé was before.

 

“Viktor?” He looked up to see the other two staring at him, concern evident.

 

“Sorry.” Viktor handed Phichit the stuffed poodle. The younger man opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything before walking out of the room. He knew Chris was going to speak if he didn’t direct the conversation.

 

“I guess since Phichit is staying in Yuuri’s room, you can stay in mine.”

 

To be honest, he didn’t want to be alone either. Not after today’s events.

 

They may have changed locations, but the scars and trauma of the past had followed them to Saint Petersburg.

 

If they weren’t careful, they would drown.

 

-Moscow Prison-

 

She knew her chances of getting off scot-free were slim.

 

She wasn’t stupid.

 

All she needed to do was give the police a little distraction.

 

The door opened with a creak. Three officers and a lawyer walked in.

 

“You said you had names for those involved in the Katsuki kidnapping case.”

 

She nodded. “Yes, officer. But I want to cut a deal.”

 

“You don’t get to decide that.”

 

“Fine, but Yuuri Katsuki isn’t safe. There’s someone who’s very interested in reacquiring the Omega slut. And they have the means to do it. Almost unrestricted access all thanks to Viktor Nikiforov.”

 

The officers took a seat. “Tell us what you know.”

 

She smiled. They always took the bait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm. What will that Savina bitch tell them? I wonder....
> 
> As always, you can approach me if you have questions, comments, concerns! I will respond faster on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your support for this story. I appreciate every single one of you.
> 
> That being said, I completely understand if you need to step away from this story for any reason. It deals with a lot of heavy issues. I want to be as transparent as I can with my readers as to what is ahead (without spoiling the main elements of the story).
> 
> So here is a breakdown of the remaining "bad" moments of this story:
> 
> -Finishing the story of Nika's birth (though I'm thinking this will be more Yuuri opening up to Viktor than anything super graphic/descriptive).
> 
> -That Savina b!tch will have to hear Yuuri's testimony/impact statement and answer what she's done.
> 
> -One incident of communication between Yuuri/Viktor that results in bad consequences (that they recover from, but does set Yuuri's emotional state back a bit).
> 
> -Revealing why Yuuri reacts to Yakov.
> 
> There's no specific order for which those incidents will happen. Please know that from now on, the main focus will be recovery and Viktor/Yuuri learning to communicate/be a family.
> 
> That doesn't mean there won't be moments of PTSD, bad communication (like this chapter features), depression, anxiety, etc. There will be no more kidnapping attempts. What the b!tch is telling police is merely to try and save her own skin (it doesn't work). She is going to help take down members involved in the compound. JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED.
> 
> Again, I completely understand if you need to step away from this fic. You have my full support. I appreciate every one of you who have supported me so far. You mean a lot to me. I will do my best to be as transparent as possible throughout the remainder of this story.
> 
> If you have any questions, comments, concerns, feel free to leave a comment or beep me on Twitter.
> 
> As for this chapter: Viktor and Yuuri relearn how to communicate with each other. Yuuri doesn't feel safe. Yuri begins to settle into his old life.

-Viktor-

 

He rolled over to his side, tugging the blankets with him. He was almost cocooned in them.

Viktor couldn’t sleep.

The guest room wasn’t the same as the master bedroom he had grown accustomed to. After what felt like an eternity of tossing and turning, he decided to leave before waking Chris up—if he hadn’t already.

A dim light filtered down the hall. His heart ached with hope. 

Would he be awake?

With careful steps, Viktor made his way down the hall. Around the corner was the person he had hoped would be there.

Yuuri took up two cushions on the couch. A hot beverage resting on the coffee alongside crackers. Nika’s head rested against Yuuri’s chest. 

His fiancé looked up at him. “Restless night?” The softness in Yuuri’s voice never failed to melt his heart. 

He nodded in affirmation. “What about you?”

It was obvious why Yuuri was up. He didn’t want the little things to tell him though. He wanted to hear it from the love of his life’s mouth.

“Morning sickness and Nika.”

Viktor made his own cup of tea, letting the conversation linger there for a moment. He walked over to where Yuuri was sitting. 

“May I take the last cushion?” he asked. There were plenty of other places to sit. However, Viktor wanted to be as close to Yuuri as possible. 

He’d take it at his fiancé’s pace. He didn’t have much choice in that. 

But he did have hope.

Yuuri contemplated his words before finally nodding. Viktor knows that he can’t ruin this chance. So he sits facing toward his fiancé. 

Their feet close to touching, but still far apart. Viktor sips on his tea and lets out a heavy sigh. 

Yuuri doesn’t say anything to break the silence between them. So he relishes in this moment.

Despite the distance between them, despite the long journey ahead—Viktor knows that these small moments are what make the fight worth it. 

“You don’t have practice tomorrow, do you?” Figure skating was their common ground. The perfect ice breaker when all other conversations were too difficult to have.

“No,” he answered. “I took the next couple of days off from training so I could be there as we settle into a new routine here.”

Yuuri carefully reached for the mug of tea, ever so careful not to disturb Nika. Once the cup was replaced on the coffee table, his fiancé occupied himself with crackers.

“What time will the nurse be here?” Yuuri asked quietly.

“Not until noon. I figured you’d want to try and sleep as much as possible before then.”

He hadn’t realized how much he had missed this. Being mundane. Talking about the little things—sometimes nothing at all. The only difference this time around was that Nika was nestled where Viktor used to rest his head. 

Their bodies entwined on the couch. Yuuri running his fingers gently through his hair while pressing soft kisses to the top of his head every once in a while.

His eyes stung as tears began to form.

Why did they have to miss out on two years of those moments? 

“Viktor.” He blinked back the tears before meeting his fiancé’s gaze. “Are you okay?”

These were the moments that he was supposed to allow himself to be vulnerable. Viktor wanted to tell Yuuri so much and now was the opportunity.

“I’m fine.”

Curt. Distant.

Spoken like when he couldn’t open up his feelings before Yuuri.

He shouldn’t have that. Not when they were already struggling with communication. Yuuri pulled his legs closer to his body. Viktor had screwed up. His fiancé was withdrawing. They already approached each conversation with their guards up. He had thrown away the lifeline his fiancé was offering.

“I’m—” he began. An apology wasn’t worth a damn. Not in this case.

“I’m heading back to bed,” Yuuri announced. Carefully, he stood from the couch and left Viktor alone.

Guilt ate at his heart. Why were the simple things so difficult?

 

-Yuuri-

 

When he heard Viktor’s curt words, he knew it was an automatic response. Yuuri had heard the tone before. The truth buried behind the simple sentence.

His instinctive response was to retreat.

None of Viktor’s feelings were because of him. He knew that. When they were first starting to learn each other’s down moments, Yuuri used to take it personally. Eventually, he came to understand that it was a defensive response.

It also meant Viktor wasn’t ready to talk about what was really bothering him. Or couldn’t.

In his already vulnerable state, Yuuri chose to interpret the words wrong and ran. He needed to step away from the conversation, think of a new way to approach Viktor.

They needed to have more meaningful conversations than this. Otherwise their relationship wouldn’t survive.

Yuuri closed the bedroom door behind him. He walked over to the bed, making sure not to disturb Phichit on the floor. As he was settling back into the mattress, Nika began to fuss.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispered. Yuuri rocked the toddler to try and lull him back to sleep. The action only caused Nika to fuss more. 

“Apology accepted,” Phichit muttered sleepily. 

He whipped his head in the direction of his best friend. “I’m sorry.”

Phichit stretched and sat up. “May I join you on the bed?”

“Yes.”

His friend chose to sit within an arm’s length of him. Yuuri continued to try and calm Nika down to no avail.

“I’m sorry, Phichit. I know you’re tired.”

“Yuuri, it’s fine. I’ve run on less sleep before. You, on the other hand, look like you’re about to fall over. Want me to take him for a bit?”

He shook his head. “I…don’t want him far away from me.” 

 _Not so soon after what happened._  

“Is there anything I can do for you?” 

Yuuri contemplated what to tell his best friend. Of course he had a list of things that he wanted to be fixed. None of them were easy. Or within Phichit’s skill set. 

“Just…stay with me for a while?”

“Of course, Yuuri.”

 

-Yuri-

 

Being back at Lilia’s was strange and comforting. She hadn’t changed much in two years. With her hair still in the perfect bun, makeup done, and a different colored jacket—she pulled him into a hug.

She didn’t do a double-take. She didn’t comment on how different he looked.

“You are strong,” Lilia said. “We begin with lessons six in the morning sharp. You can take your old room. I left things as they were.”

Very few people knew how sentimental Lilia was. She had a reputation to uphold. However, Yuri knew that her leaving everything unchanged was her way of showing love. Though she would never, _ever_ admit that out loud. 

He didn’t need her to. 

Potya didn’t need time to readjust to the surroundings. However, Yuri thought he’d never see the mansion again.

Never thought he’d have this life again.

He didn’t have nightmares while he slept.

Being back in Lilia’s studio before the sun had risen wasn’t new. She was waiting for him. He began warming up. During this time, he was painfully aware of how much flexibility he had lost.

Yuri wasn’t going to give up though. 

He knew Lilia wouldn’t miss the change. She took him back to the basics. Just like she had over three years ago.

If it wasn’t perfect, she demanded he do it again.

Again.

And again.

By the time she called an end for practice, Yuri didn’t feel like he could move. 

“Wash up before lunch.”

By the time he exited the shower, Yuri had a text from Yakov saying that practice was canceled. His coach didn’t give a reason. It was probably a good thing. His legs felt like they would fall off.

It was good to feel that way again.

 

-Yuuri-

 

When he woke up, Viktor was gone.

Training.

His heart ached.

He wanted to work things out with his fiancé. Talk and apologize for his abrupt leaving last night. Yuuri never wanted to push Viktor. Not when the pieces were still falling into place. 

When the nurse came and left, Yuuri felt anger settling in. Viktor said he wanted to be there as they readjusted to their new life. New routine. 

The fact that he had gone to practice instead hurt. 

He remembered the day in the hospital when Viktor had promised to come, but didn’t. Yuuri wanted to trust his fiancé. 

This was another action that contradicted Viktor’s words.

Phichit asked if it would be fine if he and Chris went out after the nurse had left. 

“It’s fine,” he insisted. “You shouldn’t be stuck here because of me. Have fun.” 

He meant it too. Yuuri would not be the reason others couldn’t enjoy themselves. Especially when they already had to deal with the firestorm of the media and imposter APS workers.

They deserved to relax.

Despite having the entire apartment to themselves, Yuuri and Nika didn’t leave the toddler’s bedroom.

His son occupied himself with the toys in the room. He sat in the rocking chair, watching Nika take the place apart. After what felt like an eternity, the toddler walked over to him—poodle in one hand, a book in the other. 

Yuuri smile and picked up Nika. The toddler settled in his lap, one ear pressed against his chest. Stuffed poodle tucked against his small body. 

He began to gently rock the chair back and forth, reading the story to his son. 

These were the moments he had dreamed about for the week in between his home pregnancy tests and the doctor’s appointment that changed his life forever. For a few minutes, he could forget about the new life growing inside him. Forget about the broken promises. 

The uphill battles he still faced.

 

-Viktor-

 

When he woke up that morning after a fitful sleep, all he could think about was retreating to the ice. He texted Yakov to ask for practice time. A few minutes later, he received the go-ahead to come to the rink. 

He slowly worked through his warm-ups to take as much time as possible. All he could think about was how horribly their conversation between him and Yuuri had ended. It drove him to practice more and more.

“Vitya,” Yakov said softly while he rehydrated. “Stop working yourself to death. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he answered. 

“It’s not nothing.”

Viktor wiped the sweat from his brow and went to run through his routine again, knowing that if he stayed—Yakov would try to continue the conversation. If he skated, he could ignore the guilt pooling in his gut over leaving Yuuri at home.

Ignore the fact that he had been the one to push his fiancé away.

He went for a quad flip. The moment his blade had left the ice, he knew making a quad would be impossible. Instead, he landed a double—though shakily.

“Vitya, off the ice.” An order. Not a suggestion. 

He complied. Skating any longer would be unproductive. There wasn’t any point in him pushing as hard as he did anyway with his impending retirement.

Yet, a part of him was hesitant to let that part of his life go. Where would he escape to if he wasn’t able to come to the rink?

Viktor paused wiping his blades off. Skating had become his escape for when everything went wrong between him and Yuuri. Instead of finding a way to work out their problems.

“Talk to your Yuuri.”

 

It should be easy. Twenty minutes after practice ended, Viktor found himself standing outside of their apartment unsure what to talk about. Things needed to get better between them.

However, they both had to contend with their own feelings in addition to trying to make a relationship work. Was breaking up inevitable? Some days, Viktor felt that would be their only option.

With a deep breath, he entered their shared home. It was so easy to think of it as their place despite that he had spent more time in it alone than with Yuuri. No one was in the living room so he made his way toward the bedrooms.

Inside Nika’s room, he saw his fiancé and son fast asleep on the rocking chair. Knowing that they needed their sleep after last night, he went to take a shower.

When he emerged, the sounds of his son’s babbling. After putting on a fresh pair of clothes, he returned to Nika’s bedroom.

Yuuri was awake now, but looked no more rested than last night. Their eyes met from across the room. His nerve to have a conversation withered under the steely gaze of his fiancé.

Viktor didn't need to be bonded to feel the anger radiating off Yuuri.

He had messed up. Badly. 

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, voice shaky.

“Could have been better,” Yuuri answered before dropping his gaze. “You?”

“Could have been better,” he echoed.

Nika walked over to him and tugged at his pants with one hand and pointing inside the room with the other. Cautiously, he stepped inside his son’s room—unsure of how Yuuri would react to his presence. 

Their son provided the perfect distraction for a moment. However, he knew that there would be more to discuss.

Yuuri was just waiting for the right time.

It came with the return and Phichit and Chris. They had purchased a ton of new items for Nika and were introducing him to each one. With their son sufficiently distracted, Yuuri left without a word.

Viktor followed. 

They walked to the kitchen. Yuuri started preparing tea.

“Yuuri,” he began.

“Don’t,” his fiancé snapped. “I don’t want excuses, Viktor. You said you’d be there when the nurse was. You said you took a couple days off from practice. I know you went. Your training bag was missing from the foyer.”

“I’m so—”

“I don’t want an apology either, Viktor. I want you to understand how hard it is for me to trust you when you say one thing and do another. You know how hard it is for me to open up, to let people in. I’m trying so hard not to resort back to where we started, but I feel like that’s where we’re stuck.”

Yuuri was shaking over the stove. When the kettle began to whistle, he prepared a cup of ginger tea. Not once did he turn around to look at him.

He knew why. It was the same reason he had ran away to the rink. Facing each other directly was too hard right now.

“I don’t want you to be unable to trust me. I went back on my word. I shut you out when you were trying. I want this to work. You have no idea how badly I want us to work things out.” 

“I want that too, Viktor. It’s just hard.”

It always seemed that whenever they were taking one step forward, they would take two steps back. Yuuri turned to look at him.

“We need to find a better way to indicate we don’t want to talk. We both run away from our problems before confronting them. I never want to push you to open up to me when you’re not ready,” Yuuri continued. “I want to give you space to figure what you need to out. I know that you didn’t mean to be so harsh this morning. None of it was directed at me, but there will be days where I don’t see it that way. That potential for either of us to misinterpret is what scares me the most.” 

Viktor thought over Yuuri’s words. He didn’t want to hurry his response. Everything his fiancé had brought up was perfectly valid. Reasonable.

“It scares me too,” he confessed. “Whenever I need time to myself, I will tell you from now on.”

“I promise to do the same,” Yuuri said gently. His anger had dissipated in the middle of the conversation. “Whenever one of us needs space, can we schedule a time to discuss it that same day? I want us to communicate why we felt we needed time away from each other.” 

He nodded. “Yes. I would like that.” Viktor hesitated to continue the conversation. He wanted to verbalize one more request, but didn’t know how Yuuri would respond. “From now on, if you’re up with morning sickness or Nika and out in the living room—could you wake me up? I want to be there with you in those moments to help take care of you and our son.” 

Yuuri took a sip of tea. “I’ll do my best. I’m not always coherent in the early morning hours, as you’re well aware.” A smile graced his fiancé’s lips.

Viktor couldn’t help but smile back.

“Is there anything else you’d like to talk about?” he asked. 

His fiancé took a moment to contemplate his words. Then, “Would it be possible for me to have a cell phone again? I would like to be able to contact my family. And I think being able to communicate through text will make some of our conversations easier.”

Viktor felt stupid. Of course Yuuri would want a cell phone. “Of course. Is there any particular type you want?”

Yuuri shook his head. “I’m not particular. I just need something that has video chat capabilities.”

“Before we go to therapy tomorrow, we can pick up a new phone for you,” Viktor promised.

The look of relief on his fiancé’s face was evident. How long had Yuuri been afraid of asking for a phone? “Thank you.”

 

-Yuuri-

 

At the end of his conversation with Viktor, he felt lighter. Yes, he was angry earlier. He felt like they made good progress. Things wouldn’t be perfect, but at least it felt like they were heading in the right direction instead of things spiraling out of their control.

The thought of having a cell phone again made him anxious and happy. Finally, he’d be able to talk to his family directly. When in-person conversations would be too hard, at least he could send a text.

Plus, he’d have a way to call for help. A way to get out of here if needed.

Even though they had put Moscow behind them, the fact that they had moved back to the city where their nightmares began never left his mind.

Saint Petersburg was no better than Moscow.

He knew that as long as they were in Russia, he wouldn’t be safe. Yuuri had no way to get out of there. A phone was the first step to securing his trip back to Japan.

The Embassy was still working on travel documents for him and his son. The moment they arrived, Yuuri would be free to leave.

This country wasn’t safe.

Not for him. Not for his son. Not for Yura.

Not for Viktor. 

Yuuri would do anything to make sure those he loved were safe.

“Yuuri,” Viktor said softly. He looked up at his fiancé. “Thank you for being honest with me. May I hold your hand?”

He smiled and reached out his left hand. Viktor intertwined their fingers. The contact wasn’t much compared to the intimacy they had once shared, but it was what they could manage. 

One day, he wanted to be embraced by his fiancé. Sleep in the same bed. Their son nestled between them. For them to be a complete family.

But he knew those days were still far off in the future. 

A future Yuuri dreamed about daily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Fluff. Domestic Viktuuri. Cute family moments.
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support for the last chapter! I appreciate it.
> 
> There are no major warnings for this chapter. There will be mentions of anxiety throughout this chapter, but is not significant. Our boys communicate in this chapter, go to counseling together, and have some cute family time. Hope you enjoy!

-Viktor-

 

After his conversation with Yuuri, Viktor texted Yakov to let him know that he would not be returning to the rink for three days. He wrote to the FFKK, letting them know of his absence—citing the incident in Moscow and the failure of two members of the organization for allowing it to occur. For once, they didn’t reprimand him for taking time off. A small token of their appreciation for their hard work, they said.

He knew this was their vague way of acknowledging his reasoning without admitting fault.

“How did your talk go with Yuuri?” Chris asked. He looked up from his phone.

“Good. We have problems, but I think we’re going to be able to work them out. Going back to counseling will help—for both of us.”

Chris sat on the bed next to him. “And how do you feel?”

“Fine,” he answered.

“Viktor,” Chris began. He knew this tone. “You went through a traumatic experience as well. You almost lost Yuuri, were manipulated and lied to. How are you really feeling?”

He put aside his phone, knowing that this was a conversation that needed to be treated seriously. In all honesty, Viktor hadn’t given much thought to everything that had happened. They were always facing a new challenge. 

“I don’t know,” Viktor confessed. “There’s always something new we have to tackle. I’ve had to push one thing aside to deal with the new crisis.” 

“Do you think being in Saint Petersburg will lessen the amount of crises you two will face?”

He frowned. “I don’t understand what you’re getting at, Chris.”

“This is where it all began. Have you asked if Yuuri feels safe here? Do you even feel safe here?”

The words weighed heavily on his mind, even as one day turned into the next.

Viktor had never even asked. He just assumed that this was the next logical step. Once he announced his retirement, they would return to Hasetsu for an extended vacation.

Saint Petersburg was his home. 

_Your home is only complete when Yuuri is there with you._

“Viktor?” He turned to meet his fiancé’s gaze. “Are you all right?” 

“Yeah,” he answered. It wasn’t a lie, just not the complete truth. Viktor needed to figure out his own feelings about Saint Petersburg before he had this conversation with Yuuri. “Just have a lot on my mind. I’ll talk to you when I’ve figured it out. Have you found a phone you want?” 

His fiancé nodded. “Could I get this one?” It was the same brand of smartphone Yuuri had owned before his disappearance, just the latest model. 

He smiled. “Of course.”

The sales person asked how much storage he wanted. Yuuri insisted he only needed the lowest amount possible. Viktor knew this was his fiancé’s frugal side talking.

“Please. Our son is too adorable. You know Phichit is going to demand pictures and videos every day, you’ll run out of space before the end of the month.”

And that was how he convinced Yuuri to walk away with a phone capable of holding 256 gigabytes of memory—despite the high cost. 

“Is Phichit’s number still the same?” Yuuri asked.

“Yes. As is mine, Chris’, and your family’s.” 

His fiancé nodded and put in Viktor’s number first and sent him a text. Then, Yuuri repeated the process with the other contacts. It was nowhere near the amount of people he had numbers for before, but it was a start.

He vaguely wondered if he could obtain a list of numbers on Yuuri’s old phone from police.

Immediately after finishing sending out the general messages, Phichit began blowing up his fiancé’s phone with pictures of Nika. 

Yuuri shared each and every one of them with him and saved each one to his phone. He laughed as more photos came in. “I’m glad you convinced me to get more storage. At this rate, I may still run out of space before the end of the month.”

Viktor laughed. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

His fiancé put his phone on silent before putting the device in his pocket. They were a short walk from their new counselor’s office. He decided they could walk there to save gas money. Viktor could sense the nervous energy coming from his soul mate.

“Viktor,” Yuuri said quietly.

“Yes?”

“May I hold your hand?”

“Of course.”

The moment their fingers locked, he could feel Yuuri’s nervous energy lessen. But the fear didn’t fully go away.

It hit him then that they should’ve taken the car.

Viktor hoped that he didn’t just mess everything up further between them.

They made it safely to the counselor’s office, but he feared that the three-block walk had done more damage than knowing they were safe was worth. Yuuri went to his appointment.

They had a couple’s appointment afterward. Viktor decided to retrieve the car to avoid stressing out his fiancé further. 

_Stupid._

 

-Yuri-

 

He woke up to find that figure skating practice had once again been cancelled. Yuri worked out his frustration during Lilia’s training. Every day, he had to improve in some way. How was he supposed to get better if he wasn’t on the ice?

Was Yakov no longer interested in coaching him? Had he done something wrong?

“Focus,” Lilia said with a clap. It snapped his train of thought. She made him redo his positions, criticizing everything along the way. 

He was annoyed, but knew exactly what he would be capable of because of her. She had helped him win a gold medal at 15.

If he was going to make a full comeback, he needed her help to get there.

_I will get there again._

Another clap of the hands. “Go shower and we’ll have lunch.”

She left him alone. He collected his gear and obeyed her wishes. When he arrived at the table, there were three plates of food where he would sit. Lilia had a proper portion.

There was more food in the middle of the table. However, he stayed clear of it. Without question, he ate the plates in front of him. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was before.

Their meal was eaten in relative silence.

“May I be dismissed?” Yuri asked. 

Lilia looked up from her plate and nodded. “Come back to the studio at four and I’ll teach you a new routine.”

He groaned. She was evil. Two practices in one day? 

“What was that, Yuri Plisetsky?”

“Yes ma’am,” he said. Before she could say anything else, Yuri went back to his room. He checked his phone. No new messages so far.

He sent a message to Otabek, letting him know that Lilia was just the taskmaster as ever. His legs felt like jelly and he was pretty sure they’d fall off soon if they kept up her current training schedule.

_Received: Your legs can’t fall off. You still have to beat Viktor’s medal count._

Yuri smiled. 

 _Sent: Damn right I do! Once I do, he will no longer be Russia’s golden legend!_  

They exchanged more messages. He asked how Otabek’s training was going before finally falling asleep for a nap.

 

-Yuuri-

 

Their joint session with the new counselor went better than expected. He felt comfortable talking to them and felt that he and Viktor would be able to make good progress with the new tools she had suggested for them.

She suggested taking an hour out of each day and sitting down and talking without any distractions. It would help them rebuild their communication. She also gave them a chart of feelings to help them check in with each other throughout the day.

It seemed cheesy, but Yuuri knew it would speak when they didn’t have the words to fully describe everything they were feeling. 

Viktor held his hand throughout the appointment. A comforting touch that helped him remain grounded despite an emotional individual session followed by their joint one. 

“Well, I hope you both feel comfortable with me. Would you like to make this a weekly session?” 

“Yes,” he answered immediately. Viktor echoed his sentiments.

She smiled. “Great. I’m going to write down personal goals I want each of you to work try and toward during the week. You can share them with each other or keep them to yourselves. I want you to journal what steps you take toward them each day. Do them slowly. I don’t expect you to meet them by next week.” 

The counselor gave him his list first. His goals included spending time with Yura, learn how to talk to Viktor about his pregnancies at the compound, finding a productive outlet for his anxiety, and letting Nika sleep alone in his room. They were hard goals.

They addressed every one of his core fears though. Whenever he was anxious, he danced or skated. Yuuri didn’t think that he could manage skating any time soon. Would Lilia be willing to train him again?

She had taken on during the little time he had been in Saint Petersburg before. But would she care about him now?

Once Viktor received his list, they left the room. They put on their coats before heading outside. His anxiety spiking over the prospective of making another three-block walk to where they had left the vehicle.

It was one of the first things they had talked about in counseling. Viktor held the door open for him. He took a step outside, trying to ignore an oncoming panic attack.

_You can do this._

He heard a car door unlock and looked up. There was Viktor’s car. Waiting for them. His eyes widened as his fiancé held open the door for him.

“When?” he asked. 

“During your appointment. I didn’t think about how walking on the streets again would make you feel. I never want you to feel uncomfortable or unsafe with me.” 

Tears stung his eyes. Viktor had understood without him expressing his fears out loud. “Thank you.”

He got inside the car. Viktor closed the door behind him and got in the driver’s side. The ride back to their apartment was silent.

Upon arriving home, Yuuri rushed to Nika’s room. The toddler was currently building a house with Chris.

Rather, Chris was building a house with the oversized blocks and Nika was knocking it down.

Once Nika was aware of his presence, he immediately walked toward him. Yuuri picked him up and held him close. The toddler babbled into his neck. His mind wandered back to the list. Letting his son sleep alone would be one of the hardest things to do. 

“Did he nap?” Yuuri asked quietly. 

“No,” Chris answered. “We tried to put him to bed, but he fussed. We think he was waiting for you to come home.”

He nodded before taking a seat in the rocking chair. Nika was already going slack in his arms. The toddler had stayed up too late. Yuuri slowly rocked back and forth. Viktor asked Chris to leave the room.

His fiancé picked up the stuffed poodle and scented it before handing it to him. Yuuri placed the toy in Nika’s arms. His son gripped it tightly.

“I can’t believe he’s ours,” Viktor breathed. Yuuri smiled. 

“I can’t believe it either. I always imagined how adorable our kids would be, but Nika is…” 

“Adorable. He’s going to break hearts when he gets older.”

Yuuri chuckled. “Just like his father.” 

“Because he’s beautiful like you are.” 

He chose not to deny Viktor’s claim. They sat in silence together in the room. 

“Viktor,” he said quietly. 

“Hmm?”

“Could you see…if Lilia would be willing to let me train with her again?”

“Of course. I’ll call her later today.” 

“Thank you. For everything, Viktor.” 

“Anything for you.”

 

-Viktor-

 

He left the room when Yuuri fell asleep. Their son safely nestled in his arms. His heart swelled with pride. His Alpha side was pleased to see his soul mate at peace around him and how good he was at taking care of their precious child. 

Viktor put in the call to Lilia as promised. She agreed, but asked for a couple of days to figure out a suitable time. He also gave her Yuuri’s current number to make contact easier. He asked if it would possible for her to arrange for a car to pick up his fiancé.

She said it would be no trouble. Lilia understood the concern even without being told.

“And tell your Yuuri that he is free to bring your son to practice too.”

He smiled. “Thank you.”

With that, they exchanged goodbyes before ending the call.

Viktor pulled out his list and looked at the goals that the counselor had made for him. One of them was to make an individual appointment for himself. He didn’t know why everyone was insistent he needed counseling too. 

Everything was fine.

Any problems he had, he would work out with his soul mate.

Together, they would get through everything.

 

-Yuri-

 

Dragging himself to the studio again was difficult. His legs still felt like jelly. Yuri vaguely wondered if a second session would even be productive today with how he felt. Eventually, his strength would return. He would gain more weight. He would look more like his old self. 

Right now though, all he could see were the imperfections. Taking two years off had done him no good. Sure, he had strength from manual labor. However, it was the not same strength that he needed for figure skating—or ballet—as he was figuring out. 

When he entered the studio, he found Lilia in workout clothes. He had never seen her dressed in such a state.

“Sit.” He obeyed the command before it fully registered in his brain. “Watch.”

Music began to fill the room. A single instrument at first. Quiet, wavering, but quickly finding its voice. Lilia moved with it as if she was the instrument.

Soon, the instrument played at its full strength. Others joined in. It was a fight song. Lilia conveyed how the one instrument found its voice again through her moves.

Even though she danced the routine, Yuri could see that this wasn’t meant for ballet. This was meant for the ice. Lilia was showing him the routine she had choreographed for him. What would eventually be used in his comeback performance.

Yuri couldn’t wait to start practicing this routine. She had captured his strength perfectly. Told his story without hearing all the details. Lilia was an amazing choreographer. 

She struck the final pose as the music faded. Her fierce eyes glanced up at him.

“You will be reborn, Yuri Plisetsky. You will be better than before. I will help you get there.” 

He stood from his chair and took off his hoodie. “Let’s start practicing.” 

During this session, he didn’t feel exhausted. All Yuri could think about was performing his new routine to perfection. It would win him another gold medal.

He would make certain of that.

 

-Yuuri-

 

He rushed to the bathroom quickly, emptying his guts once again. Once he finished, Yuuri knew that going back to sleep wasn’t an option. He grabbed his phone to check the time. Two in the morning. The nurse would be back later today with his test results.

Hopefully with some answers as to why his morning sickness remained bad as ever. Nika was awake now too. Whenever one of them was up, so was the other. Yuuri knew that letting his son sleep in a separate room would help immensely. They wouldn’t be up at the same time. Nor would their sleep schedules be so interdependent.

However, he was having trouble with just the idea of letting go. They had always slept in the same room. 

Yuuri picked up Nika and left the bedroom so they wouldn’t disturb their guest. He looked down the hall, remembering Viktor’s request. Within a few steps, he reached the guest room and knocked softly. Hopefully Chris wouldn’t wake up too. 

Half a minute later, Viktor opened the door. Hair mussed from sleep. His eyes barely open.

“Do you want to join me and Nika out in the living room?” he asked quietly.

The question immediately kicked his fiancé’s brain into a more functional state.

“Of course.”

Yuuri let Viktor go ahead of them. The walk was short and done in silence. They found themselves sitting in the same position as a couple of nights ago. Except Nika had crawled into his father’s lap.

He couldn’t help but think how handsome Viktor looked when holding their son. His Omega side felt a surge of pride at how perfect his Alpha was in handling Nika. The picture in front of him was something he had dreamed about. 

Viktor played peek-a-boo with their son. A squeal of delight came from the toddler every time he was found. 

The smile on his face grew wider every moment they spend bonding with each other. 

_This is the life I want._

 

-Viktor-

 

Peek-a-boo only held Nika’s attention for so long before the toddler grew bored. His son decided to crawl all over him, tugging at his hair every now and then. 

“Nika,” he whined. “I don’t need help going bald.” 

Yuuri stifled a laugh while their son paid no mind to his growing despair over his hair. 

“So mean,” he pouted. Yuuri smiled at him. 

His heart swelled at the sight of his fiancé’s genuine look of joy. 

“He’s just fond of your hair like I am,” Yuuri said. 

Viktor beamed at his fiancé’s words before Nika pulled at his hair again. “Okay, no more pulling papa’s hair.”

He wrestled the toddler into his lap again. Nika finally settled, head near his scent gland.

“I love you,” Yuuri whispered.

The words said so much between them. Despite all the trials they still had to face, it would be worth it because of their love. They had conquered so much in their short time together. 

“I love you,” he echoed back.

Their relationship shouldn’t have survived after all the hell they’ve been through. These moments shouldn’t be happening.

But they were.

Their love kept them together. Helped them fight through all the troubles they were facing. It had become motivation, not a deterrent.

“Thank you for taking care of me. I want us to have the future we always talked about.”

“I want that too.” 

“Is it okay that it’s going to take longer to get there?” Yuuri asked quietly. 

“I’ll be there for however long it takes. I will never leave you, Yuuri.” 

He didn’t miss the tears falling down his fiancé’s face. The tension leaving Yuuri’s posture.

Relief.

Viktor meant every word. He wanted to prove his sincerity. In their past life, it would have been done with a hug and kiss.

Now though, Viktor only had his actions.

Something he needed to follow through on.

_No more mess ups._

An unpleasant smell hit his nose.

“Smells like Nika needs a diaper change,” Yuuri said softly. He stood and waited for Viktor to hand him their son.

“Teach me?” he asked. He had never changed a diaper before.

Yuuri raised an eyebrow. “You sure you’re ready for this?” A playful challenge.

“Yes!” He stood up, Nika in his arms, fussing slightly.

“Don’t he surprised if you end up with baby powder on your clothes. Nika likes to squirm.” 

“He can’t be that bad.” 

Yuuri laughed as they went to Nika’s room.

Viktor didn’t just end up with powder on his clothes. He had it in his hair, on his face, and somehow on his back.

Yuuri had walked him through each step, but it didn’t save him from Nika’s wrath. Their son was surprisingly strong.

After rocking their son to sleep, Yuuri studied him. 

“What?” 

His fiancé pulled out his phone and snapped a picture. Yuuri showed him exactly what had transpired in the five minute struggle to get a diaper changed.

Yuuri was barely holding back laughter.

“You’re so mean,” Viktor whined. Yuuri couldn’t contain his amusement any longer. “It was my first time changing his diaper! I’ll get better!”

Yuuri stopped his laughing and looked at him with a loving gaze. The look took his breath away.

“I know you will.” A pause, then, “Phichit is going to love this photo.”

“Noooo! It’ll end up on the Internet with a misleading caption!”

It did end up on the Internet. 

But on Viktor’s personal Instagram with the caption “Papa training 101: How to change a diaper! #practicemakesperfect”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: More family moments. Yuuri begins training with Lilia. Some answers about his pregnancy. Communication. Yuri/Yuuri/Nika interactions.
> 
> Questions? Concerns? Comments? Find me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support in the previous chapter! I appreciate it so much!
> 
> This chapter was supposed to be lighter than it ended up being, but it will answer some questions
> 
> ***Three Star Warning*** Yuuri deals with two devastating diagnoses in this chapter. The first in regards to his pregnancy (he also finds out who the father is) and news about his bond with Yuri. I'm rating it three stars for brief mentions of past rape, torture, miscarriages, and Yuuri having an anxiety attack. None of it is super descriptive, but I am rating it because of the topics it deals with and I'd rather be on the safe side.

-Yuri-

 

Every day in Lilia’s studio was spent going over the choreography she had shown him. She was just as critical as ever, harshly correcting his lines—making sure he would have enough height for jumps on the ice. Yuri needed to add quads back into his arsenal.

So far, all he could land were doubles and a few triples in off-ice practice. Useless when he was looking at competing against others who had four quads in their free programs. His balance wasn’t perfect still. Yuri found out that during the time he was missing, he had grown several inches. 

He never had time to acknowledge the changes to his body. As an athlete, it was important that he knew his physical capacity. Yuri pushed himself to the limit every day.

Lilia clapped her hands. He looked up at her, sweat falling down the side of his face. Heavily breathing. “That’s enough for today.”

“Go shower and then we’ll have lunch.” 

He obeyed.

When he arrived, once again, there were several plates of food in front of his spot. He ate everything in front of him. Normally, eating so much would be bad for him, but between how much he was working out and his lack of weight—Lilia made sure to feed him more than enough. While there was still food in the middle in case he wanted more, he didn’t dare touch it.

The doorbell rang. He looked up from his plate. Lilia dismissed herself from the table. 

He wondered who would be visiting at such a time. Lilia had very few guests in her mansion. Yuri was the only one to train here. 

Soon, he heard a squeal of delight and hands tugging at his side. Before he registered who it was, he had picked up the child. 

 _Nika._  

“I’m sorry,” Katsuki apologized. “He’s usually better-behaved.” 

“It’s quite all right,” Lilia reassured. “He seems quite attached to Yuri.”

He looked up to meet the Japanese man’s gaze. The other hadn’t gained any weight since the last time they had seen each other. If anything, he looked thinner.

“Yura is like another father to Nika,” Katsuki explained.

“Feel free to sit and help yourself to any of the food. 

Katsuki sat on his left side. Lilia resumed her seat. Nika fussed at being ignored. Small hands slapped against his cheeks. Furious babbling from the toddler ensued. 

Yuri laughed. “I missed you too, Nika. How have you been doing?”

The toddler continued his rapid-fire chatter. He picked at the remainder of his food, feeding Nika little bites of anything the little one found interesting.

“What are you doing here?” he finally asked.

Katsuki gave him a small smile. “I wanted to do something outside of the apartment. Madame Lilia was kind enough to fit me into her schedule.” 

He didn’t know how to feel about the new development. “What about Viktor?” 

“He rearranged his practice time with Yakov so we would be busy at the same time. I hope you don’t mind. If you do, I’ll find something else to do.”

An offer to let him have his own space. Yuri shrugged. Their lives were still tied to each other thanks to their bond. He wanted to eventually sever it, but now was not the right time. 

“It’s fine. You’re probably going crazy with nothing to do.” 

“Thank you, Yura.” 

Several minutes later, he found himself back in the studio. This time, holding Nika as Katsuki began practice. The toddler watched as his parent warmed up. The loss of flexibility noticeable.

A small bump prominent without layers of clothes. Another lingering reminder of their previous life—just like their bond was.

“How far along are you?” Lilia asked.

“Fifteen weeks,” Katsuki replied. “The doctor cleared me for light exercises.”

Lilia nodded. “Let’s begin.” 

They worked their way through several positions. Lilia focusing on posture and slowly strengthening Katsuki’s muscles. Nika squirmed out of his hands and tried to mimic his parent. 

He pulled out his phone to take pictures and film. Nika’s balance wasn’t perfect, but it was still adorable. Yuri had to stifle his laughter so not to distract the other two from their practice. 

Very briefly, he saw Lilia glance in their direction. A small smile appeared on her lips before she shouted a correction to Katsuki. The Omega adjusted immediately. 

Practice didn’t last as long as his usually did, but he could see the exhaustion on Katsuki’s face. 

“Thank you, Madame Lilia.” A bow. Then, the Omega wiped sweat from his face.

Lilia handed him a bottle of water to rehydrate. Yuri gathered Nika in his arms and stood.

“You can use my bathroom to clean yourself,” he announced. “Viktor’s not going to be here for a while, right?”

Katsuki looked at the time on his phone and nodded. “He’ll have practice for a few more hours. I apologize for intruding.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re fine, Katsuki. It’s not like she expects you to be able to practice for hours like you used to.” Yuri stretched out his hand for the Omega. Katsuki took it. “Come, let’s get you cleaned up.”

They went to his room. He pushed the Omega to his bathroom with a clean towel, rag, and change of workout clothes. Nika squealed in delight when he saw Potya. The cat was wary at first.

But like always, Nika was able to charm the cat into curling up around him. The toddler gave him a big smile and talked to him. Not actual words, but gestured for Yuri to sit on the bed next to him.

Who was he to resist? 

He sat down and let Nika continue to babble away. Soon, Katsuki emerged from the bathroom.

“Thank you, Yura.”

He waved a dismissive hand. Katsuki put his dirty workout clothes in the diaper bag. 

A wave of anxiety came through their bond. He looked up at the Omega. “What’s wrong?” 

Katsuki shifted his weight from one foot to another. “May I…lie down on your bed?”

Yuri knew what the other wanted. He made space for the other to get comfortable and waited for the Omega to make the first move. It wasn’t long before Katsuki gently tugged at his hand. 

Without hesitation, he laid down next to the other. Nika curled up on his chest. Tensions melted away. It was just like before. Except they weren’t stuck in the compound.

They weren’t going to be punished. Katsuki pulled him close, careful not to disturb the toddler. He pulled his quilt over them.

“Yura,” Katsuki mumbled. Sleep lacing his voice.

“Hmm?”

“Put your number in my phone. It’s the same password as before.”

He reached over and grabbed the Omega’s device. He punched in the month and date Katsuki and Viktor got engaged and added his number to the small list of contacts. Yuri sent himself a text so he’d have it for later.

Nika’s breaths had evened out. Katsuki wasn’t far behind the toddler.

“Oi, when is Viktor supposed to pick you up?”

“Three.”

Yuri set an alarm for them and drifted off to sleep with the other two.

 

-***Yuuri***-

 

He had done the math.

When the doctor told him he was fifteen weeks pregnant, he immediately searched for news articles related to when they were rescued. He was roughly four weeks along when he left the compound.

Yuuri didn’t want it to be true.

Numbers didn’t lie. 

He wanted there to be some other factor that would change what already knew. 

Of course, nothing could change the reality he now faced.

During his time in the compound, he barely knew who had fathered the children he had lost. So many of them were conceived while executing his duties that it was impossible to tell. 

This one, however, he knew exactly who it belonged to. 

His stomach churned.

Yuuri dragged himself to the bathroom to empty his stomach. The nurse had given him two possible explanations for why his morning sickness remained past the first trimester of his pregnancy.

The first was Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Though rare, it lined up with his symptoms. The nurse went over possible treatment plans for him. They agreed to try herbal medicine and limited bed rest. Twice a week, he would be given an IV to replenish his fluids. 

If the symptoms didn’t lessen, they would try medication and have him on bed rest with an IV. 

His nurse said that light exercise would keep him strong enough in case bed rest was a long-term solution. He was given express permission to practice ballet and yoga. So he arranged a twice-a-week meeting with Lilia and did yoga in the apartment the days he was not confined to bed.

The second possibility—Yuuri filed away. He didn’t want to think about it even being an option. 

However, as he continued to dry heave over the toilet, the tiny possibility took up more of his thoughts. It wouldn’t be impossible. 

Especially since he knew who the child belonged to. 

He brought a shaky hand to his bond mark. Though he and Yura shared a platonic bond, it still meant their secondary genders were compatible. From what the nurse could tell, they were extremely attuned to one another for only having a non-romantic bond.

The nurse explained it to him that if he and Viktor weren’t already soul mates, Yura’s bond likely would’ve become romantic.

Since they were highly compatible, any children conceived by a person who did not suit his biology to the same degree as his bond mate’s, would cause a great deal of agony.

These pregnancies tended to end in miscarriage.

 _“Does this mean my other pregnancies would have ended in miscarriage if they weren’t induced?”_

_“Very likely.”_

Yuuri curled up in front of the toilet, fighting back tears.

He couldn’t have another miscarriage. It would be too painful to go through again.

Nor did he like the idea of carrying that man’s child—a man who had been sent to train him. The one who tortured him for days, raped him, and caused him to go into early labor with Nika.

He stifled a sob. 

Worst of all, he didn’t have anyone to talk to that would understand his thoughts and feelings without judgment. 

Asking about the potential to sever the bond hadn’t been much better. Because of the strength of his and Yura’s bond, it would be excruciating. A high chance that he would drop and never come out of it.

The longer they waited, the more painful it would be and two years had already passed.

If they did manage to sever the bond, Yuuri would need to be bonded by Viktor right away to hopefully avoid the drop. Even then, there was no guarantee.

 _I’m sorry, Yura. I didn’t know this would happen. Please forgive me._  

Yuuri didn’t hear the soft knock at the bathroom door. Didn’t hear the footsteps approaching him. All he felt was the soft blanket being placed on top of him.

“Are you all right?” Phichit asked. He shook his head. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Another indication of “no.” He didn’t trust himself to speak. Didn’t trust that he could explain his thoughts properly. If he was going to open up to someone about this, Yuuri wanted to be able to explain it clearly. Though no one would really know how deep his feelings really went.

But the right person would at least be able to understand why he was so torn.

“Okay. I’m just going to sit here with you. If you need anything, let me know. If you want me to leave, just tell me.”

He nodded. One day, he’d be able to put it all into words. He just hoped that his body didn’t make the decision before he could. 

_Please forgive me._

-Viktor-

 

He was taking off his skates after practice when Phichit cornered him.

A surprise really since the other had focused most of his time and attention with Yuuri. Their guests extended their stay for a couple more days because of flights being fully booked. At least, that’s what they told him. Viktor knew it was done out of concern.

“How do you think things are going between you and Yuuri?”

No punches pulled. Phichit was on a mission.

He smiled. “I think it’s going well. We’re not perfect, but we’re making progress.”

“Is that the bullshit you tell yourself every night so you can sleep?” The words felt like a punch in the gut.

“What is this about?” Viktor asked evenly. He knew getting riled up without an actual reason wasn’t ideal.

Phichit leaned against the lockers casually. If Viktor didn’t know any better, it would be an innocent pose. However, he knew that the younger man was getting ready for a fight.

“How much do you know about what’s going on with Yuuri?”

“In terms of what?”

“His past, what he’s dealing with now, the baby, how he cries himself to sleep in front of the toilet every afternoon—just to name a few,” Phichit answered. His tone dark.

Viktor was waiting for Yuuri to open up to him. He didn’t want to push the other. And dealing with the baby…he wasn’t ready for that conversation.

“I’m waiting for him to open up.” 

“Well, maybe he needs you to get your shit together before he can.” 

His anger flared at those words. “I have everything together.” 

“Really?” Phichit asked mockingly. “Then why does he keep telling me that he can’t trust you? That you’re not ready to know about everything that happens?”

Viktor wanted to retort. A fierce response on the tip of his tongue. But he stopped himself—listening to Phichit’s words.

“He says that?” The question fearful. Viktor didn’t want to know everything that happened, but it was part of who his fiancé was now.

No matter how hard he wished, he could never change that. 

“Not in so many words. But I speak fluent Yuuri. Even when he’s silent, he’s saying something.” 

It was true. The little actions, creases in the forehead, trembling of the fingers, downcast eyes, gentle rubs of the belly. All of them spoke louder than his fiancé’s actual words. Viktor had noticed them in their daily talks, but he filed them away. They hadn’t been as important as the dialogue between them. 

At the time.

Tears welled up in his eyes. Yuuri was patiently waiting for him to understand, connect, and most of all be prepared for the tales of horrors.

“I…” he began.

“Didn’t realize, I know.”

He took a deep breath. “What do I do?”

“Go to therapy. Learn coping mechanisms. And for the love of god, make sure you never, ever break a promise to him again.”

“Okay.”

 

-Yuri-

 

Back in the compound, he had missed the ice and often dreamed of it. However, now that he was back in Lilia’s home—Yuri found that he didn’t feel like he was missing out. Probably because of the intensity of his training. 

And mostly because Lilia’s choreography was challenging to perfectly execute to her standards off the ice. Every time he began warm-ups in her private studio, he found it easier to sink into each stretch—easier to hold it longer.

His precision increased. Lilia called out fewer corrections. However, that did not mean he was perfect. Yuri knew that he still had a long way to go in her eyes. Though part of mastering the routine would be to actually perform it on the ice. 

One of the final steps to preparing him for competition was his jumps—Yuri needed them in order to be a contender. So she started training him from singles on the ground.

 _“No need to get on the ice yet.”_  

This was about getting the height, the position, and the full rotation. All off the ice. His body had filled out a little more since returning from Moscow, but he wasn’t at his previous weight quite yet. 

Rather than risk an injury on the ice, Lilia felt it would be better if he practice in her studio. He didn’t argue. Yuri wanted to make a full comeback, he couldn’t do that if he didn’t fall correctly. 

That didn’t mean he was immune to falls—even though he wasn’t on the ice. 

But he was tired of the same routine day in and day out. Yuri wasn’t perfect, but he preferred to figure it out along the way.

“Why can’t I work this out on the ice?” 

“Because one wrong move and your career could be over before you make a comeback. We have to protect your legs from major injury.”

The last sentence stuck in his mind. It bothered him for the rest of the day.

Even when Katsuki and Nika came for practice, he couldn’t get his mind off Lilia’s statement of protecting his legs. 

What did it matter?

Nika tugged at his hair. “Hey!” he scolded. The toddler frowned at him and babbled a little. “Attention seeker. You’re definitely Viktor’s spawn.”

Stifled laughter briefly echoed in the studio. At first, Yuri thought it might’ve come from Katsuki, but the Omega was nowhere in sight.

_Did I imagine it?_

He shot a glance over at Lilia. A small smile on her face—though no one would be able to tell the difference. 

_No way!_

She shot him a glare. “It’s not polite to stare, Yuri Plisetsky.”

“Sorry, Madame.” Yuri returned his attention to the toddler. Though he knew that he wouldn’t have Nika’s attention for long. Whenever Katsuki started practice, the little one would always try to mimic the movements. Adorable really. 

And frustrating when Lilia would point out that a toddler had better posture than him.

The days Katsuki came over, the three of them would fall asleep in his room. It felt safe, familiar, and he hated how much he cherished those moments.

_It’s the bond._

Being in the presence of his platonic bond mate, could wash away all his frustrations. Yuri hated that they were still tied together. Hated that he couldn’t fully live his life. Hated that he was the one who felt all the Omega’s emotions.

_It should be Viktor._

Yuri just didn’t know how to bring up the topic of severing the bond again. Especially with Katsuki curled into his side and Nika sleeping soundly on his chest.

 

-Yuuri-

 

It was three in the morning, but he didn’t care.

Not when Viktor was so determined to get a diaper change right. Ever since he first taught his fiancé how to change one, his soul mate took every opportunity to practice.

Of course, Nika only went to the bathroom so many times a day. So Yuuri had asked Phichit to purchase a doll.

Viktor was currently concentrating on getting the technique down perfectly.

“There!” his fiancé proclaimed proudly, holding up the doll for Yuuri’s approval.

“Good job. Maybe we’ll start practicing bath time next.”

Viktor’s eyes glittered with excitement. “Really?”

He nodded, holding their sleeping child in his arms. “I’ll be giving him one later today. You can watch me.”

“I want to help.”

He smirked. “I don’t know. You can barely handle him when he’s dry. I doubt you’ll be able to do any better when he’s wet and soapy.” 

“Yuuuuri, so mean!” Viktor whined.

He laughed and readjusted Nika’s body. The toddler didn’t stir from his slumber. “Can we move to the living room?” 

“Of course!” 

Viktor led the way. Yuuri followed with their son perfectly still in his arms. They sat on the couch, facing each other again. It was a comfortable position for both of them as they talked. However, once he settled into the cushions, a wave of exhaustion washed over him.

His fiancé kept the conversation going, but he didn’t add much. 

“If you’re tired, you can go back to bed.”

“I’m not tired,” he muttered.

“Yes you are, love.”

Yuuri blinked sleep from his eyes. “Don’t want you to leave.”

“How about I sleep on the floor next to you?”

He thought about it for a little bit before nodding. Viktor went off to grab their spare blankets and air mattress.

Soon, Yuuri found himself buried underneath two blankets. Viktor laid on the air mattress next to the couch.

“Yuuri?” Viktor asked quietly.

“Hmm?”

“May I hold your hand?”

He carefully adjusted Nika to a different sleep position before dropping his arm off the couch. Viktor gently took his hand and entwined their fingers.

“I love you,” Viktor whispered.

“Love you too.”

 

-Viktor-

 

 _No more screw ups._  

He was going to do this. 

For his family.

Viktor walked through the wooden door.

“Mister Nikiforov, good to see you. What would you like to discuss today?” 

He took a deep breath before discussing his biggest concerns with their new-found therapist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to lie: There is probably only going to be only one or two more chapters of good character progress and a ton of fluffy moments before we get back to some heavy stuff. When the next chapter is posted, I'll let you know what to prepare for in the beginning section of the notes.
> 
> Questions? Concerns? Comments? You can find me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support with this story! I'm constantly blown away by your comments and kindness.
> 
> **Two Star Warning** This is to deal with separation anxiety. Yuuri wakes up to find that Nika isn't there and panics. Other warnings: Overprotective Yuuri and Yuuri feeling unsafe. Nothing too descriptive, but is unsettling.
> 
> *One Star Warning* This is to deal with Yuuri's anxiety. Again, nothing descriptive. Just Yuuri mostly fighting to overcome some of his trauma.
> 
> The rest of it is cute family moments and communication between our favorite couple.
> 
> (See ending notes for warnings of future chapters)

-**Yuuri**-

 

The air mattress by the couch was gone. Viktor too. He reached for his phone, one in the afternoon. Yuuri put his phone down and turned over to catch a little more rest before panic washed over him.

_Nika._

Previous drowsiness forgotten, he untangled himself from the blankets and went in search of his son. Numerous “what ifs” ran through his mind before he heard a squeal of delight from the toddler’s bedroom.

The squeal was followed by a quick hushing noise. “Now, now. We wouldn’t want to wake Yuuri,” Phichit said.

He bolted into the room right as the sentence was spoken. His heart beating quickly as he laid eyes on his son. Nika squirmed out of Phichit’s arm and ran toward him. Yuuri couldn’t get the toddler in his arms quick enough.

“Are you okay, Yuuri?” Phichit asked.

The question didn’t register in the moment. His thoughts centered on Nika and the fear of losing his child.

“Don’t ever leave me,” he whispered. Nika nuzzled his neck, little arms wrapping around him.

 _Please God, don’t take him away from me._  

He placed a kiss on Nika’s head and carried him off to the master bedroom, shutting the door behind him. The toddler remained still as Yuuri climbed into bed and wrapped blankets around them. 

A knock at the door interrupted his time with his son. Phichit peeked inside. Yuuri let out a low growl.

The other hesitated before tossing a cell phone on the bed.

It wasn’t until later that he processed his behavior. How he had ignored Phichit’s question, swept Nika away and had growled at his best friend.

He was embarrassed.

_I shouldn’t have treated Phichit that way._

Most of all, he shouldn’t have panicked so much when Nika wasn’t with him.

Letting the toddler be independent wasn’t going to be an easy task.

 

-Viktor-

 

His first session of therapy left him with a lot to think about. Instead of immediately going home, Viktor took a walk through a nearby park to sort his thoughts. One of the key goals his therapist had replaced for him during the individual session was to bring up his fears about the baby. 

Viktor knew the child was important to Yuuri for some reason, but didn’t know _why_ and didn’t feel like he could discuss his fears.

_“Your partner is very intuitive. He probably already knows you have fears that you’re not discussing with him. He might be waiting for you to open to him just as you’re waiting for him.”_

And from past experience, Viktor knew that Yuuri wasn’t going to be the one to initiate the conversation. Which meant that it was up to him.

A terrifying thought. 

Especially since he didn’t know how to put his thoughts into words. 

_“You don’t have to have this conversation right away, but I would urge it to be within the next couple of weeks. He is going to rely on you to be his partner in raising this child, every week that goes by will only cement that further in his mind.”_

Not immediately, but soon.

He took a deep breath.

Then, his phone rang. Viktor pulled it out of his coat pocket and saw Chris’ name on the screen. He frowned and answered the call.

“Chris, is everything all right?” he asked.

“We don’t know, to be honest. Yuuri was asleep so we took Nika off his hands, thinking that he needed the extra rest. He came in a panic and took him to the master bedroom, growled at Phichit when he tried to put Yuuri’s phone in there, and hasn’t come out since.”

He frowned. Yuuri was attached to their son. Honestly, Nika was too adorable. However, he couldn’t think of a single reason why his fiancé would growl at Phichit. Unless he felt threatened.

“Do I need to come home?” he asked.

“I don’t think so. We mostly wanted to touch base with you and see if there was anything we should do in this situation.” 

“I’ll come home. He probably just needs some time and then he’ll come out on his own.”

“You don’t have to,” Chris replied. “If all he needs is time, then we can give him that. Like I said, we just didn’t know if this was normal.”

Viktor honestly didn’t know. “I’m not sure. I appreciate you telling me. I’ll try to discuss it with Yuuri later.”

“Sorry for bothering you,” Chris said.

“It’s fine. I’ll be home soon.”

He hung up the phone. His mind swirling for answers as he tried to decipher Yuuri’s actions. What had triggered his fiancé? What type of person was waiting for him when he would arrive at home?

_Please open up to me more, Yuuri._

He began the journey home, hoping that their conversation would be productive. If Yuuri could meet him during this conversation, then maybe there would be home for their future conversation about the baby.

 

-Yuuri-

 

It was early evening when he finally felt comfortable enough leaving the room he had barricaded himself in. Nika was fussing, hungry and bored. They made their way to the kitchen. Phichit and Chris were gone, from what he could tell. Viktor was busy making dinner. 

“Good evening, love.”

He felt a surge of guilt. “Good evening.”

“Is veggie soup okay for dinner?”

Yuuri nodded. “I need a snack for Nika.”

He kept his distance, going out of his way to make sure that he wouldn’t come in contact with Viktor. After grabbing some crackers, he went to sit at the dining room table.

With Nika occupied, he watched Viktor in the kitchen. 

_Initiate conversations._

“What did you do today?” he asked. At first, Viktor didn’t respond.

“I went to therapy for an individual appointment,” his fiancé answered. “I’ve been having trouble taking care of myself so I wanted to get some guidance.” 

“Was it a good session?”

Viktor hummed. “It was okay. I think…” A pause. “I think I have a lot more to work on than I originally thought. Do you ever feel like that?”

He hesitated. “Yes. I felt like that today.” His fiancé put a bowl of soup in front of him before sitting across the table himself. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, love. Why did you feel like that today?”

An open invitation to talk. He didn’t really want to discuss it, but knew that if he didn’t—the guilt wouldn’t ease. Yuuri got a small spoonful of the soup and blew on it so it would cool. He then tried to feed it to Nika. The toddler turned his nose up at the offering. So he ate it himself. 

“I…have a hard time being separated from Nika. I panic when he’s not near me or I don’t know where he’s at. Early this afternoon, he wasn’t in my arms when I woke. I freaked out. It just…”

He really didn’t know where to continue from there. Even voicing it out loud, he sounded crazy and over protective. 

“You two have been through so much together,” Viktor said gently. “Phichit and Chris felt awful for making your worry. They wanted you to get some rest. They know how hard it’s been for you to sleep lately.”

He tried to feed Nika soup again, but the toddler began squirming out of his arms. With a sigh, he put their son down. “I know. I appreciate their help. It’s not their fault. It’s...something I have to work through.”

Yuuri didn’t want to get into the specifics. Now was not the time. He slowly ate his soup. Nika had walked over to Viktor and was begging to be picked up.

His fiancé put Nika in his lap. That’s when the toddler began to show interest in the soup. Viktor mimicked his earlier actions, blowing on the food to make sure it wasn’t too hot, then offering the spoon to their son.

Nika ate it without hesitation. “Why wasn’t it good when Yuuri was feeding it to you?” Viktor chuckled. The toddler whined and point at the bowl of soup.

“Use your words,” Yuuri said gently. Nika babbled. 

The meal continued in a similar fashion. Yuuri managed to finish his entire bowl of soup. Nika eventually wanted to be let down. The toddler walked around the living room. 

“Why did you feel like you have more to work on, Viktor?” he asked quietly.

A moment of silence, “There are some conversations that I want to have with you, but are hard to bring up. I know you’re waiting for me to talk about them. I just need time to be prepared to hear anything you tell me. It’s…already hard knowing what I do. I know that we’ve only scratched the surface. I figured if I learn coping mechanisms and have a place to process—I can be the support you need.” 

He reached across the table. Viktor understood and offered him his hand. Yuuri relished in the little contact between them.

“Thank you. I appreciate you trying. I want to be your support too. If you ever need to process, I am here to listen. To know that you’re doing everything you can makes me feel happy and safe.”

“We will overcome this together, Yuuri.”

He smiled. “I know, Viktor.” 

They stayed there for a little longer before Nika started fussing because they were ignoring him.

 

-Viktor-

 

They took their son to his room. It was too early for him to go to bed so they thought it would be best to burn off his energy by playing. Of course, Nika insisted on them playing. Together, they were building items with the oversized blocks in the room.

Their son dictated which pieces they were allowed to use and got frustrated when they didn’t put them exactly where he wanted.

“This would be easier if you did it yourself,” Viktor said after Nika knocked over his placement of a yellow block.

Yuuri chuckled. “Where’s the fun in that, Viktor?”

He looked up to see the unmistakable look of joy in his fiancé’s eyes. 

 _He’s so beautiful like this._  

Yuuri was a natural when it came to taking care of his son. Viktor felt woefully inadequate in comparison. Yakov frequently reminded him that his fiancé had a head start on learning. Time he would quickly make up.

After several more tries, Nika was finally satisfied with their creations. Viktor wasn’t sure what his son saw in the misshapen attempt at a building, but the look of joy made him feel incredibly proud to have been a part of his son’s creative process. 

“All right, Nika, let’s clean up your toys before bath time,” Yuuri said softly. 

Together, they put the blocks back in the bin. Yuuri snapped on the lid before putting the tub away. His fiancé bent down to pick up his son before heading toward the door. 

Viktor stayed where he was, captivated by the moment. Yuuri looked back. “Are you coming?”

 

-*Yuuri*-

 

To say Nika loved bath time was an understatement. Yuuri knew this better than anyone. 

Even in the compound, it was one of those simple things his son enjoyed. The moments spent together were the glimmers of normalcy in a reality that was anything but.

So whenever Yuuri ran water in the tub, Nika automatically assumed it was for him and was already taking off his clothes—though clumsily.

He chuckled before helping his son out of the clothes. “You’re just like your Papa. Can’t wait to get naked.”

“I think he gets it from you,” Viktor spoke.

He tensed for a brief moment at the suddenness of his fiancé’s appearance. Eventually, Yuuri looked up to see the distance still between them. Viktor was at the entrance of the bathroom—waiting to be invited in. 

“He got it from both of us,” Yuuri replied. A small smile on his lips, all to hide his unease. 

A laugh from Viktor. “He never stood a chance, did he?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Neither would I,” Viktor reassured. He returned to helping Nika out of his remaining clothes before testing the temperature of the water.

Just right.

He picked up Nika and placed their son in the tub. The toddler immediately squealed in delight.

“May I come closer?” Viktor asked. His tone softer, less alarming than before.

“Yes.” He gestured to a spot next to him. “I hope you don’t mind getting wet.” 

Viktor knelt next to him. “How much of a mess could he possibly make?”

Yuuri smirked. His poor, clueless fiancé was definitely about to find out.

Thirty minutes later, Viktor was thoroughly soaked from head to toe. He was drying their son off with a towel while Yuuri cleaned up the water on the floor.

“Now that he’s dry, I put lotion on him so his skin doesn’t dry out,” Yuuri explained. Viktor looked wary at the prospect of the task at hand. “I can do it this time.” 

He held out his arms to receive their son. Viktor handed him over without question. Yuuri grabbed a battle of baby lotion before heading out of the bathroom. He laid down a dry towel on the bed before placing Nika on it. 

Already, he could see the signs of drowsiness on their son’s face. Yuuri placed a kiss on the top of Nika’s head before finishing their post-bath routine. A fresh diaper and new outfit.

He picked up their son and let Nika scent him.

Yuuri turned to his fiancé. “After bath time, he’s usually too tired to squirm as much.” 

“Thank god,” Viktor breathed. “It was hard enough to keep him under control when he was covered in soap and water. I couldn’t imagine trying to hold on to him while putting lotion on him.” 

He laughed. “It reminds me of us trying to bath Makkachin.” 

It was Viktor’s turn to laugh. “Oh my gosh, you’re right!”

Memories of them both trying to bathe Makka surfaced in his mind. Both of them soaked from head to toe. Trying to wrestle the poodle to sit still while they shampooed the fur. Trying to get Makka out of the water when bath time was over. Viktor and Yuuri sitting in the tub, enjoying a relaxing bath together when Makka would decide to join them. 

They were the fond moments he held tightly to. 

_That will be our future again._

“May I kiss his head?” Viktor asked. Yuuri looked up at his fiancé, processing the request. Nika’s face was resting on his shoulder. 

To kiss their son’s head would mean closing the gap between them. Every alarm bell went off.

_This is his son. He’s asking. It’s Viktor. Viktor won’t hurt you._

He repeated the thoughts a few more times. “Yes.” 

Viktor took a couple of steps forward. His body tensed, thoughts quickly spiraling out of control. 

 _Not safe. Not safe._  

“Goodnight, Nika.” It was a quick kiss before Viktor stepped back, out of his personal space. 

Yuuri could feel his thoughts becoming clearer. 

“Goodnight, Yuuri.” 

He took a steadying breath. “Goodnight.” 

Viktor left the room, closing the door behind him. 

 _He asked. He didn’t try anything. He gave you space._ _You can trust him._

Yuuri replayed the memory as he curled up in bed with their son that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites for spoilers. Now posted -- a preview of the final chapter of this story.
> 
> Serious notes:
> 
> The next chapter will be the last mostly cute/fluffy chapter before we go back to our regularly scheduled angst. I'm planning on this story arc covering two chapters minimum, but may be three chapters with the ending of the third chapter being lighter and fluffier.
> 
> Here's what's going to be covered:
> 
> -Yuuri opening up about his miscarriages to Viktor  
> -Yuuri opening up to Viktor about why he doesn't feel like he deserves to be called anything other than "Yuuri" in front of their son.  
> -Viktor confessing to Yuuri that he doesn't want to help raise a baby that's not his  
> -Yuuri experiencing a drop that requires him to be hospitalized  
> -Communication, communication, communication
> 
> That's all I can think of right now. If any of this changes or I think of anything else, I will include it in the next chapter notes. 
> 
> If you have any questions, comments or concerns, please do NOT hesitate to reach out to me. I always encourage you to read at your own pace. I also understand if you need to drop this story. I will not be offended. Please know that there will be a happy ending. This ugliness will push them to be a stronger couple.


	30. Chapter Thirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two *One Star Warning* sections for high anxiety, the stupid paparazzi, and a slight panic attack. Nothing descriptive.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Ending on some fluff before we begin with the heavy conversations our boys need to have.

-Viktor-

 

He watched as Yuuri fed their son breakfast. It was mesmerizing to see how well his soul mate took care of Nika. His heart swelled at the sight. Viktor loved all of these moments. 

 _This is my family_.

The thought solidified itself more and more with each passing day. Every moment they spent together felt like a dream. But the giggles from his son, Yuuri’s fussing over Nika constantly grounded him. 

One thing stilled gnawed at him though: why did Yuuri insist on being called by his name around their son?

Viktor watched as Yuuri wipe the edges to his son’s mouth. A soft smile resting on his fiancé’s lips. After being fed, Nika fussed—begging for freedom without words. Within seconds, the toddler was running around the living room.

Yuuri turned toward him. Their eyes met. He tensed. 

“Something wrong, Viktor? You haven’t touched much of your meal.” Yuuri asked. 

He shook his head. “You’re incredibly distracting when you’re taking care of our son.” A pause. Yuuri took a bite of food. “I do have a question though.”

Yuuri gave him undivided attention. “You can ask me.”

“Why do you prefer to be called your name around Nika?”

Viktor saw the change in his fiancé immediately.

They had worked hard on their communication. Small questions about Yuuri’s time missing were usually answered without hesitation. The more time that passed in silence, the more he knew that this one didn’t have an easy answer.

He wanted to take the question back, but it was too late. 

Yuuri stood, trembling.

 _He’s going to hide in the bedroom._  

“Give me time,” Yuuri whispered. His fiancé didn’t even grab their son as he left the room. Every movement restrained, as if trying to cover up how much the other wanted to leave.

Once Viktor heard the door close, he knew the answer wouldn’t be pleasant.

_I need to be prepared for anything that he tells me._

A tug at his pants drew his attention toward the ground. Nika looking up at him, eyes watery. The toddler pointed down the hall and babbled at him.

“Yuuri needs some time alone,” Viktor said gently. He scooped his son in his arms. Breakfast forgotten, he did his best to comfort the toddler who was distressed by his fiancé’s absence.

 

-*Yuuri*-

 

He pulled the blankets around his body. His brain working overtime to process Viktor’s question. 

To his fiancé, the answer might seem simplistic.

However, this would be divulging a piece of his time in the compound that wasn’t easy to discuss. Yuuri was afraid of being rejected—as a suitable mate and parent if he told Viktor the truth. 

_Are you prepared to hear the truth of what I was forced to do in that hellhole?_

Yuuri reached for his phone with shaky hands and texted Phichit—someone who could help him build the courage for the important conversation ahead.

Sent: _Viktor asked me a question that I’m afraid to answer._

Received: _Want to talk or just text?_

Sent: _Text._

Received: _Are you afraid of the memories tied to the question or rejection if you answer it?_

He sent his reply and waited for the response.

Yuuri knew that it wasn’t a matter of _if_ the conversation should take place, but _when_. Phichit replied with a novel that didn’t completely calm his nerves, but gave him the confidence to tell Viktor the truth.

Received: _You have a couple’s appointment today, right?_

Sent: _Yes._

Received: _Tell him during that. It’ll be a safe place for both of you. You can also build your confidence beforehand in your individual appointment._

Though he still wasn’t completely reassured, Yuuri decided that it would be the best time to do so. He wanted to have this conversation between just the two of them, but didn’t believe he had the strength to go through with it right now. 

Yuuri texted Viktor that he would answer the question later—that he needed more time to process and figure out his words. 

Received: _Take all the time you need. I love you._

He turned to hug their son, but didn’t find him there. He sent another message asking if his fiancé could bring Nika into the master bedroom.

A few minutes later, the door opened. Viktor holding their son. Nika immediately tried to squirm away from his fiancé to come toward him. Without saying anything, Viktor left the room after putting the toddler on the bed.

With their son safely in his arms once again, Yuuri felt his anxiety fading away. He kissed the top of Nika’s head.

“I hope papa continues to love you even if he can’t love me.”

 

-*Viktor*-

 

They settled into the vehicle after their joint therapy session. A heavy silence between them. They hadn’t discussed any further why Yuuri preferred to be called his first name around Nika. Yuuri stared out the window. Viktor knew that his fiancé was hurting, but there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

He hadn’t been invited into that area of his fiancé’s life yet. 

It was frustrating, hurtful, and discouraging. But Viktor _knew_ that the conversation would be the beginning of a breakthrough for them. That’s why he would wait. Yuuri had his own pace. Just as he did. 

They were stuck at a red light when he dared glance at his fiancé. Brown eyes sparkling. Viktor knew this look.

“Viktor,” he said. His fiancé looked at him. “Can we go in that shop?”

He looked in the direction Yuuri was pointing at. A baby store.

His heart clenched. “Okay.”

The light turned green and he pulled into the parking lot. His hands shook as he turned off the car. One deep breath. Then two.

Viktor got out of the car and began to unstrap Nika from his car seat in the back. Yuuri took longer to get out, grabbing the diaper bag and other items they might need for their impromptu shopping trip.

He didn’t miss the way Yuuri did everything he could to hide his currently pregnancy before walking next to him. 

“Ready, love?” A nod. They walked into the store together.

Being inside the store should have held some joy for him. They were shopping for a baby.

_One that’s not mine._

Yuuri stopped in the toddler section first, picking outfits for Nika. 

“He’s starting to outgrow his clothes,” Yuuri commented.

Viktor smiled. “Of course he is. He’s been so well taken care of by you.” 

His fiancé flushed at his words. They spent the next several minutes looking over their options. Almost anything with a dog on it was thrown into their cart. Mostly at Nika’s insistence. 

The toddler knew exactly what he liked and was surprisingly picky about his clothes.

“He’s just like you,” Yuuri muttered.

“At least we know he has good tastes.”

Nika pointed toward an outfit with a tiger on it and babbled. Yuuri picked it up and handed it to his son. Upon closer inspection, the toddler smiled and handed it to him.

Viktor frowned. “Well, mostly good tastes.” 

Yuuri laughed. “Do you want to wear that to Yura’s this week?” he asked Nika. The toddler perked up at the mention of the other. Furious nodding followed. “Okay. He’ll love it.”

They made their way through the store. Viktor saw his fiancé’s eyes wander toward the baby section. He swallowed.

_Please don’t make me._

Yuuri turned his gaze away from the tiny outfits and at him. “Do you want to look at toys with him for a little bit?”

Viktor nodded and separated himself from his fiancé. He didn’t want anything to do with the unborn child.

_You need to tell him._

He would. Eventually.

None of the toys impressed Nika so he went to pay for the items in their cart. Yuuri joined him at the register—a single outfit in hand. Blue and white and one word stitched on to it: Loved. He found it difficult to breathe.

This child was going to become part of their lives. 

He didn’t say anything when the outfit was scanned in. It wasn’t the child’s fault. They didn’t ask to be conceived under horrible circumstances. 

Yet, Viktor found himself hating the child more and more. 

After paying and their items gathered, Yuuri turned toward the exit of the shop and froze. 

“Viktor,” he hissed. 

He looked over his shoulder to see what his fiancé was looking at.

Hoards of paparazzi. Several cameras clicked to capture a picture of his face. Only briefly was he glad that Nika was protected from view.

“I don’t want them to have pictures of him,” Yuuri whispered. There was already a chance that they had gotten them earlier. They both knew it.

His mind processed what was happening. It wouldn’t be easy to hide their son from view.

“Is there an employee exit we can use?” he asked. 

“Yes. Pull up in the alleyway and you can leave through there.” 

“Thank you. Yuuri, go ahead and take Nika to the back room. I’ll take our bags out to the vehicle and pull around.” 

His fiancé wrapped his arms protectively around Nika and followed the employee to the staff room. 

Viktor took a deep breath and gathered the shopping bags. He walked out the front door. Immediately, the media swarmed around him, showering him with questions and taking his photo. 

Questions surrounding if that was Yuuri with him, if that was his son, why they were in the shop.

He ignored them and placed the bags in the trunk of his vehicle. Viktor got inside the car and pulled away from the area. None of them could react fast enough so he quickly made his way to the alleyway. Yuuri quickly got inside the back of the vehicle and began buckling Nika into the car seat.

Viktor handed the sales associates a handful of cash for their trouble. 

“Settled?” he called.

“Go. They’re coming,” Yuuri hissed. He didn’t need to be told twice.

The media attempted to follow him to their gated apartment complex, but were stopped by the guards. He could hear heavy breathing in the vehicle. At first he thought it was Yuuri’s.

“Are you okay?” he heard from the backseat. Viktor looked in the rearview mirror to see the concern lacing his fiancé’s face.

“I’m fine. You?” 

“We’re okay, Viktor. Take a deep breath.”

It wasn’t until then that he registered the heavy breathing as his own. His mind still on high alert even though they were parked in their garage. His hands shook despite the tight grip on the steering wheel.

_Why?_

He was used to the media attempting to pry into his life. It never used to bother him before.

“Viktor?” Yuuri asked quietly.

He turned around to face his fiancé. Yuuri held out his hand. Viktor peeled one away from the steering wheel. Once connected, instant relief flooded through him.

_My family is safe._

Several minutes went by before he felt calm enough to get out of the car. Once he let go of Yuuri’s hand, he instantly missed their connection. Being separated from each other hurt because he knew just how easily they could disappear. 

They took everything into the apartment. Yuuri immediately started a load of laundry to wash Nika’s new clothes. His son stood on his lap. The toddler’s hands were on his shoulder for balance. Their eyes met. One small hand came off his shoulder and touched his face. 

Nika babbled, his letters becoming more pronounced. But the words still weren’t there. He understood what his son was doing though.

“I’m all right, baby. Papa’s okay.”

“Are you really?” Yuuri asked quietly. 

He looked over his shoulder to see his fiancé holding a handful of blankets. Yuuri made his way over to the fireplace and put them down a safe distance from the heat source. 

“I just…” Viktor didn’t know exactly how to put his feelings into words. 

“You don’t have to tell me right now,” Yuuri whispered. His fiancé organized the blankets into two areas shaped like beds. They were close, but not touching.

“When I find the words,” Viktor promised.

“That’s all I ask.”

More blankets soon joined the piles along with pillows. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Could you start a fire?”

He nodded. Viktor held on to Nika as he stood up. He then placed the toddler on the couch before making it over to the fireplace. There were already a couple of logs in there, but he threw another one on. Slowly, the fire came to life. He put the guard up and the metal gate as an extra precaution.

Once he was finished, he turned around to see Yuuri and Nika settled on to one of the makeshift beds. Viktor took the other.

“I figured you would want us close for a few hours,” his fiancé whispered. “I know I can’t handle more than holding hands right now, but I hope this is acceptable.” 

_Oh._

Yuuri didn’t know exactly what he had been thinking, but he could guess.

“This is more than okay. You don’t have to push yourself.” 

“I want to do this. For you.” 

He smiled. “Okay. But you can leave if it’s too much. I won’t be upset.” 

Yuuri nodded before climbing underneath some of the blankets. Nika crawled between them, settling next to Viktor. His fiancé offered his hand once again. 

He took it. The warmth and calm helped put his fears at ease. He wouldn’t lose them again.

Most of all, the encounter solidified his desire to move back to the sleepy town where his fiancé had grown up. They would have privacy and security. 

Viktor wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, but he did so with dreams of their future together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites.
> 
> Please reference last chapter's end notes for what is in store for the next few chapters after this. As always, if you have comments, questions, concerns, I will gladly listen to them and answer everything I can to the best of my ability.
> 
> Side note: Never, EVER fall asleep with a fire going -- even if it's in a fireplace. It didn't fit, but Yuuri put out the fire before going to bed himself. Viktor just fell asleep first.


	31. Chapter Thirty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right. The return of the angst. Please take this chapter at your own pace. Again, if you need to drop the story, I understand. Please also remember there WILL be a happy ending to this story eventually. This is one of the biggest hurdles they have to clear right now. Viktor and Yuuri will make it through this together. As a couple. And be stronger than before.
> 
> That said: *offers you all chocolate, fuzzy blankets, stuffed animals, and tissues*
> 
> ***Three Star Warnings*** Most of this chapter is filled with three star warnings. They're all for PTSD-like experiences, conversations about rape, forced labor, torture, anxiety, child abuse, the continuation of how Nika came into the world, and an Omega drop. I'll do my best to provide a brief summary of the entire chapter in the end notes.
> 
> *One star Warning* Very briefly, Viktor reflects on the possibility of Nika not being in his life.

-***Yuuri***-

 

He hadn’t slept well. There had been more trips to the bathroom to empty his guts. A small amount of bleeding that he convinced himself was normal. During the night, he had to move to the couch. Not because he didn’t want to stay by his fiancé’s side, but his back began to ache. Even the change in support had done little to ease the pain. Though it was now more localized to his lower back.

While waiting for Viktor to wake up, he went over the conversation he had meant to have yesterday. Explaining his name preference in front of their son. Yuuri finally felt ready to talk about it. He just hoped the other would be ready to hear more than just what was done to him—but his feelings.

Nika remained snuggled next to Viktor, clinging to his father in his sleep. A small smile spread across his face. They looked so cute together. He put his phone on silent before taking several pictures of them. Within a few minutes, his was receiving text messages from Phichit over how adorable father and son were. Yuuri couldn’t have agreed more.

Eventually, the conversation turned over to the baby store fiasco yesterday. Phichit linked several articles. Not one of them had gotten a good picture of him or their son. He was grateful, but upset. The press had no business prying into their life.

“Morning.” Viktor’s gravelly voice returned his attention to where the duo had been slumbering. God, he had forgotten how sexy his fiancé’s voice was in the morning.

“Good morning,” he replied with a smile.

Viktor stretched, careful not to wake their son. “Did you sleep all right?” 

Yuuri nodded. “I just had to move to the couch because my back started hurting.”

“I think I’m stuck.” He let out a quiet laugh. Nika had only clung tighter to Viktor’s shirt during the slight movements. Their son still dead asleep for the moment. 

“I think you are too.”

“Are you going to rescue me?”

He smirked. “Nope.” 

“Yuuri!” Viktor whined. “So mean!”

“Don’t worry, I have the feeling he’ll be up soon.”

Sure enough, ten minutes later—Nika was up and about. First coming over to get snuggles from Yuuri. Then, wasting no time running around the living room while Viktor tried to corral him so they could put him in clothes other than pajamas.

He stayed on the couch, filming and laughing at the antics. Viktor turned toward him, “Yuuri, stop recording this and help me!”

“All right, all right.” He moved to get off the couch and felt a sharp pain in his pelvic area. A sharp inhale. Dread coursed through his veins.

“Yuuri?” 

His head snapped toward Viktor, who had stopped trying to chase their son. He put on a smile. “Just my back. No more sleeping on the floor for me.” 

Nika wandered up to him, tugged at his sweats. Yuuri picked up their son and stood. The pain still there, but duller.

“I’m okay,” he reassured before placing quick kiss on the top of the toddler’s head and walking toward the bedroom to get him changed. Viktor followed behind.

“Do you need me to get you anything?”

Yuuri shook his head. “I’ll be okay. Go ahead and start breakfast.”

As he settled into the familiar routine of taking care of their child, the aches and pain were forgotten. Yuuri took extra time pampering their son. When it came time to pick a new outfit, he let Nika choose his own. The toddler pointed toward a solid red top and blue and white striped bottoms.

They emerged from the bedroom to find Viktor serving their plates. Nika had his own this time, something they hadn’t done before. Their son ate from either of their served portions. Though the toddler had a preference for being fed from Yuuri’s.

Both of them agreed that it was time for the next step.

They needed to work more on encouraging Nika’s independence. That included feeding himself and eventually potty training. Over the past couple of days, they had noticed their son mimicking their eating habits and grabbing food on his own. IIt was time to see if he could handle a meal on his own. Yuuri placed the toddler in a high chair. They rarely used it.

The plate of food was placed in front of the toddler along with plastic cutlery and a sippy cup. Surprisingly, Nika didn’t have any problems adjusting to the new task. Though he wasn’t perfect— _most_ of the food ended up in the toddler’s mouth.

Yuuri kept a careful eye on him, making sure he didn’t struggle. Their son was mimicking both their movements when it came to eating.

He smiled fondly. Looks like feeding himself wouldn’t be a problem in the future. They ate in relative silence.

While Yuuri wanted to have the conversation with Viktor soon, he didn’t feel it was appropriate to discuss over a meal. In fact, he would only feel comfortable talking about it in the house—the master bedroom.

It had become his sanctuary since being released from the hospital. Inviting Viktor there would be a huge step forward.

His fiancé cleaned Nika’s face after the meal was over. The toddler squirmed and protested, but couldn’t escape a diligent papa. Yuuri washed the dishes. A trade-off since Viktor had cooked breakfast.

With the last dish dried and put away, he took a deep breath.

_You can do this._

“Viktor,” he said gently. His fiancé was playing with their son on the floor of the living room.

“Yes, love?”

“Can we…talk?”

Viktor smiled at him. “Of course.” The other scooped up their son and sat on the couch—their normal talking spot.

“Not there,” he whispered. “Could we talk in our…my…room?” 

“Do you want me to go ahead or follow?”

He shifted uncomfortably. Neither of them were good options. “Follow.”

Yuuri made way to the master bedroom first, the footsteps of his fiancé echoing loudly in his ears as his heart began to pound louder.

_You can do this._

With a deep breath, he opened the door, inviting Viktor inside the room. His fiancé stepped inside, still holding their son. Yuuri closed the door behind them. An action he quickly undid.

The door swung wide open.

He closed it again though. This space needed to be secure for him to feel safe.

_You’ll be trapped. With an Alpha. In front of your son. Again._

Lungs burning, he went back and forth between keeping the door open and closed. Tears filled his eyes.

Why did this have to be so difficult?

“Yuuri?”

He jumped, his mind instantly turning toward the Alpha in the room. The Alpha holding _his_ son.

Omega instincts kicked in and he surged forward to remove Nika from the other’s grip.

“Let him go!”

The Alpha surrendered the toddler easily. Yuuri retreated to the bathroom. Door locked.

_Alpha can’t get in here._

He held on to Nika tightly, holding his son close. Tears falling from his eyes as jumbled thoughts muddled his mind.

 

-***Viktor***-

 

Viktor tried to process what had just happened. The change in his fiancé took place so quickly that he didn’t have time to react. He just gave in.

Now, he was left to stare at barrier between him and the rest of his family. His eyes went back to the bedroom door. Something about it had clearly bothered Yuuri. He kept closing and opening it right back up again.

_It’s not just the door._

It was _him._

Or rather, his dynamic.

Viktor knew it wasn’t personal. Knew that it wasn’t meant to be hurtful.

But it hurt. 

He did the only thing he could think of in the situation. 

Viktor stayed.

It was probably a stupid idea. He was hurting over Yuuri’s rejection. Over how difficult everything had to be between them for no good reason. They were suffering because of another person’s actions.

Every part of him was screaming to leave, to practice, to leave this mess behind. But he gave his word.

Viktor _promised_ he wouldn’t run away anymore.

No matter how difficult it was.

_We can do this, Yuuri. Together. Please trust me._

 

-***Yuuri***-

 

He hugged Nika close to his body, rocking the two of them back and forth. Every part of him waiting, dreading, knowing that the Alpha on the other side of the door would break in at any moment.

All he wanted was a brief moment of reprieve and for his son to no longer be used as a weapon. To not witness what was about to happen.

 _Not again. Not again._  

Yuuri didn’t know how much time had passed since he locked himself in the bathroom—but his instincts were still on high alert. The other side of the door remained silent. No attempts to break in, no profanities, no one calling him a whore. 

_It’s a trap._

Time continued to pass. Yuuri slowly let go of his tight hold on Nika. His mind remained foggy. He _knew_ he wasn’t in the compound, but his brain still tried to keep him there.

He traced the pattern of the bathroom tile with one hand. The familiar shapes bringing forth memories of his time spent with Viktor before everything bad happened. The floors in the compound weren’t detailed like this. They were solid and gray.

_I’m in Viktor’s apartment._

Telling himself that and his mind fully accepting his location was difficult. The haze started to go away as he saw more items that were not in the compound.

The towels he and Viktor had picked out together after he moved to Saint Petersburg.

His toothbrush. 

The light blue plush bathmat that he insisted was too large, but Viktor insisted they get anyway.

Every crevice of this place was filled with memories of their lives before. This was their home.

Theirs. 

Not the compound.

Viktor had never hurt him and deserved an explanation for his behavior. 

With a deep breath, Yuuri lifted him and Nika off the ground. The only secure barrier between him and the Alpha— _Viktor_ —in the apartment was removed. He opened the door and headed back to the bedroom. 

Of all the scenarios he could’ve imagined, never once did it cross his mind that Viktor might stay. His mind tried to slip back into a panic, but he knew where he was. 

 _I can do this._  

“Could you close the door, please?” he asked quietly.

Viktor looked up in surprise before scrambling to obey. He sat on the bed and wrapped blankets around both him and Nika. A way to calm himself so he could have this conversation.

Once the door was closed, Viktor took a seat on one of the many chairs in the room. Across from where he was and close enough to the bedroom door just in case. He appreciated the thought that went into the position.

“I’m sorry,” Viktor began.

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. In the compound…” Yuuri took a deep breath. “I didn’t have a choice whether or not the bedroom was closed with an Alpha inside. I know you wouldn’t ever hurt me. My instincts…kicked in. Alphas there weren’t there to have a conversation.”

He let out a bitter laugh.

 

-***Viktor***-

 

Yuuri’s hallow laughter sent chills down his spine.

He didn’t interrupt though. 

“But I knew I wouldn’t feel safe if the door opened. I’m sorry for reacting the way I did, Viktor. You didn’t deserve it. When I’m in that mindset it’s hard to separate Alphas from one another. I know you would never hurt me. I know you are not like them. It’s something I’m working on in therapy. Please don’t hate me.”

His fiancé paused. “I could never hate you for that. I know Alphas are not all kind and you’ve experienced the worst from them. I was just caught off guard.”

Viktor could see the tension start to ease from his fiancé’s shoulders. Yuuri was becoming more comfortable despite the earlier setback. They could do this.

Another deep breath from Yuuri. “I always tried to keep Nika away from seeing what I went through. One time, a person came in before I could feed him. Nika grew fussy and started crying. They hit him to get him to keep quiet. It didn’t work so they turned violent toward me...making everything that was happening more painful. He learned that silence meant I wouldn’t be hurt as bad.”

Tears were streaming down Yuuri’s face. Viktor longed to reach out and wipe them all away. Wanted to take away the hurt. His soulmate had suffered so much.

“And Nika…was used as a weapon to get me to comply. They would hurt him if I didn’t. I tried to keep him out of sight so they wouldn’t use him. It didn’t always work. I’ve been raped in front of him so many times. I didn’t want him to see that. He didn’t deserve to know what was happening to me. He was just a baby.” 

Another pause. This one longer than the last.

He swallowed. “Is that why you don’t want to be called anything but your name?”

Yuuri shook his head, but didn’t reply. Viktor waited.

“I almost lost him,” Yuuri whispered. His heart dropped. Breaths didn’t come easier. “His birth was induced prematurely because I had to go through “training.” I fought everyone, Viktor. I was a disobedient Omega. So they sent in a group to train me to be submissive. For days, they took turns beating me, raping me, inflicting any kind of pain they could.”

Yuuri pulled out the arm with the long scar on it. “This is from that time. Toward the end, they decided one of the reasons I was so defiant was because I was pregnant. So…they forcefully started labor and dropped me off where Yura was staying half-conscious.

“He wasn’t breathing when he came out. I was too weak. Yura managed to revive him, but it was touch and go for a while. Eventually, they came back and dragged us back to that room. I almost lost him a couple of times there too. I…couldn’t protect him. I couldn’t carry him to term. I couldn’t stop him from witnessing every horrible thing that was happening in that place. That’s why I’m not worthy enough to be called his parent.”

 

-***Yuuri***-

 

He waited for the rejection.

Waited for Viktor to take away their son. 

Waited to be told to leave.

He was a monster for letting all these horrible things happen in front of his son. Yuuri had failed on every level when it came to parenthood.

“Oh Yuuri,” Viktor spoke. His voice breaking. It was then Yuuri noticed the tears falling down his fiancé’s face. “You are definitely worthy. I’ve always been in awe of your strength and how you have always fought against the circumstances. You fought there too and did everything you could to protect our son. You are more worthy to be called his parent than I am. You fought so hard. I love you for that. I love you for everything you are. Please, let me call something other than your name in front of our son. You deserve it.”

He didn’t know how to process that response. Yuuri wanted to tell him the final bit of that story, but it died on his tongue when he saw how sincerely Viktor was looking at him.

“I…” His mind worked to catch up to the conversation. “I’ve never given any thought to what I would be called. I’ve never considered myself worthy. You’ll have to decide for me.”

Viktor’s eyes sparkled at his words. “Okay!” 

_I have one more thing to tell you, Viktor. Please wait until I can find the words._

 

-*Viktor*-

 

He left the master bedroom with a heavy heart and a lot to think about.

Viktor thanked Yuuri for sharing, opening up. He knew it wasn’t easy. Just the thought of Nika not being part of their lives scared him. Even trying to imagine the present without their son didn’t seem possible. 

His mind raced.

Contemplating more than just the conversation, but also what he should call Yuuri in front of their son. The prospects were endless.

Their next meal together would be dinner, meaning he had approximately three hours to figure out the appropriate name. 

And even by the time those three hours had passed, Viktor still hadn’t settled on a name. Yuuri had set the table for the three of them. This time, Nika’s high chair was closer to his spot. 

“Nika insisted,” Yuuri explained. 

He smiled and spent the entire meal watching their son eat rather messily. Every so often, he would wipe Nika’s face. “You don’t want daddy to have to give you another bath, do you?” 

Nika fussed at being cleaned and pushed the napkin away.

“’Daddy?’” Yuuri asked quietly.

“Just trying out names for you,” he said gently. “Clearly Nika doesn’t like it.”

The rest of the meal proceeded the same way. By the end of it, Nika had mashed sweet potatoes in his hair and underneath his shirt. He wasn’t the only one. Their son had somehow managed to get it in his hair too. Viktor wasn’t even a little bit upset.

“Well, looks like mama is going to have to give you a bath anyway.” Nika perked up at the name and pointed toward Yuuri. “Yes, that’s right. He’s your mama. Can you say it? Mama.”

Nika tried to mimic him. “Mmm,” the toddler got out. 

“Mama,” Viktor repeated. 

“Mmm!”

“We’ll continue to work on it. Now, let's get you cleaned up!”

 

-***Yuuri***-

 

He curled up on the fluffy bathmat near the toilet. It was the second time today he had emptied his guts. A thin layer of sweat covered his entire body as his lower back clenched in pain.

Yuuri _knew_. 

He just didn’t want it to be true. Not again.

Tears fell silently down his cheeks. Small arms shook his body. He was hurting too much, was too tired to give Nika the attention he deserved.

So he stayed where he was, unmoving. His body quickly changing from hot to cold.

He shivered until a warm blanket was draped over him. Yuuri moved his head slightly to look at who it was. Viktor was there, standing at a respectable distance. So was Nika. The toddler adjusting the blanket on his frame.

Another wave of nausea forced him to sit up. He didn’t even try to hide the ugliness of what was happening.

There was no point. 

“Has it always been this bad?” Viktor asked quietly.

“Yes,” he whispered. His voice raspy.

Another wave of pain came. Yuuri grit his teeth through it.

“I hate to see you like this,” Viktor said. “You’re miserable carrying this child. You’re pushing yourself so hard. Why? Why is it so important for you to give birth to a child from a person who raped you?” 

His eyes snapped toward his fiancé.

_Where is this coming from?_

“You don’t understand, Viktor.”

_I haven’t told you everything yet._

“Explain it to me then.” 

He rubbed his stomach. “I can’t. Not right now.”

The scent of irritation filled the bathroom. Yuuri wasn’t sure if it was Viktor’s or his own.

“I can’t watch you go through this anymore. I can’t keep watching you suffer for a child I don’t want. And a child I’m not sure you want either.”

Yuuri couldn’t breathe. Viktor didn’t want the child?

_But he said…_

This is what he was afraid of. Viktor was going to abandon him because of the child. He wasn’t loved.

He was all alone.

No one wanted him. He was useless. Damaged. Undesirable.

Just like they had told him.

 _They were right. They were right. They were right._  

The last thought circulated until darkness claimed him.

 

-***Viktor***-

 

He watched as Yuuri slumped to the floor. Everything screamed at him to catch his fiancé, to do _something_. But he could only watch. 

His body was not responding to any of his commands. Was he even attached to it right now? Viktor couldn’t be sure.

Nika padded over to Yuuri and shook him. Tears forming in the toddler’s eyes. He could see the desperation, but couldn’t hear it.

Then, the coppery smell.

 _Blood._  

Oh god.

What was happening?

The scent of blood grew stronger, overpowering everything else.

“Mama!” Nika screamed. “Mama, mama, mama.” 

The anguish in his son’s voice snapped him out of the daze. He needed to call for help.

With shaky hands, he pulled out his phone to dial 103.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Concerns? Can find me on Twitter @LadyMWrites.
> 
> Also: According to what I can find, 103 is the number to call an ambulance in Russia. If this isn't right, feel free to correct me!
> 
> Next Chapter: Yuri reacts to the drop. Yuuri and Viktor finally talk about why Viktor doesn't want the child. Yuuri tells him about his miscarriages. The press doesn't know how to leave our boys in peace.
> 
> ***Entire chapter summary***
> 
> Yuuri finally works up the courage to tell Viktor why he doesn't feel worthy enough to be called Nika's parent. He wants the conversation to be held in the master bedroom so he can feel safe. However, he gets hung up on having the door open or closed. Closed = trapped in a room with an Alpha who can hurt him. Open = room not being completely safe. He eventually grabs Nika from Viktor and hides in the bathroom. Viktor stays and waits for Yuuri to come out.
> 
> Yuuri eventually puts together where he's at and comes out. He explains to Viktor that in the compound, he didn't have a choice as to whether the door was opened or closed. He also talks about how he was raped, tortured and "trained" to be an obedient Omega. He goes on to explain that Nika's birth was premature and he almost lost their son and how they used Nika as a weapon to keep him obedient. Yuuri has one more secret though.
> 
> Yuuri says he was raped, beaten, etc. in front of Nika. Because he couldn't protect their son, he doesn't feel worthy enough to have a title other than his name. Viktor says that he's in awe of Yuuri's strength and Yuuri gives him permission to choose a title for him.
> 
> So Viktor tries out a few titles during dinner. Eventually, they settle on "mama."
> 
> Yuuri begins experiencing more pain and discomfort in his pelvic and lower back. More bleeding. He knows what's happening, but doesn't want to acknowledge what is. Nika gets Viktor and they bring a blanket for him. Eventually, Yuuri gets sick again. Viktor asks why it's important for Yuuri to carry this child.
> 
> He doesn't explain. Viktor says he doesn't want the child. Yuuri goes into a drop. His body continues to bleed. Nika says his first words. Viktor is forced to call Emergency Services.


	32. Chapter Thirty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience as I worked to get this chapter up. Life is still a little uncertain for me, but I'm working through things. I appreciate every single one of your reviews and all the support I've received.
> 
> Notes for this chapter: Not gonna lie, most of this is a suck fest. The evil media is back. But Yuuri and Viktor make some good progress at the end of the chapter.
> 
> ***Three Star Warnings*** for anxiety, depression, panic attacks, mentions of miscarriage, slight mentions of blood, and the likes. Nothing super descriptive. Gonna put a big summary at the end of the chapter.
> 
> **Two Star Warnings** Same as above, but to a lesser degree.
> 
> *One Star Warning* for mentions of someone being hospitalized and needing to recovery, slight anxiety.
> 
> With that out of the way, I offer you tissues, hugs, and good things. I recommend taking this chapter at your own pace and surrounding yourself with good things before reading.

_“EMSA 32, respond to an Emergency Sick Call, Omega in a drop. 1225 XXX Place, Apartment number 2911.”_

_“EMSA 32 clear on Omega in a drop at 1225 XXX Place, Apartment 2911.”_

_“EMSA 32, the caller advises that the Omega is also 16 weeks pregnant and is possibly miscarrying.”_

_“EMSA 32 clear on the updates.”_

_“EMSA 32, be advised that you do have APS and four officers responding as well for media control.”_

 

-***Yuri***-

 

Yuri felt the drop immediately. He was in the middle of practicing an axel jump in Lilia’s studio when everything came crashing down around him. His body fell into the ground. His hand immediately flew to where his bond mark would’ve gone.

He knew the sensation.

In the compound, he had experienced it once before. The emptiness hurt more than the other emotions that usually came across the bond. He whimpered at the sudden loss of the connection. Of course, it wasn’t completely gone.

It just felt that way. 

Being cut off suddenly made everything worse. He clutched his neck and tried to reach out to Katsuki. Another wave of pain washed over him as he searched. Nothing.

Yuri didn’t couldn’t feel anything coming from the Omega.

He tried to breathe. Nothing. What was happening?

His eyes snapped open. _Viktor._ He growled.

Slowly, he got up from the floor. “I need to go to the hospital,” he said.

“What did you hurt?” Lilia asked.

“I’m not hurt,” Yuri bit out harshly. “Katsuki’s in a drop. I can’t feel him. I need to go to the hospital closest to Viktor and Katsuki’s apartment.” 

“Let me grab my keys.”

 

-***Viktor***-

 

 _This is my fault._  

The thought never left his mind long enough for him to register the seriousness of the situation. He watched as emergency services worked on stabilizing Yuuri. They pushed him aside and told him to wait. Nika, on the other hand, was allowed to be near his fiancé. They briefly explained why—something about being able to prevent shock.

Vaguely, he heard the word “miscarriage” and “drop.” 

_I caused this._

When they loaded Yuuri and Nika on the stretcher, he tried to follow them. One of them held him back. It took a while to realize that it was an officer. 

When had the police arrived?

“I need to be with him.” Viktor knew where he belonged. At his fiancé’s side.

“You have to stay here, Mister Nikiforov. APS has a few questions for you.” 

His heart clenched. APS. 

“No,” he whispered. “Not them.”

“They have to conduct a thorough investigation as to what happened. Omegas don’t go into drops for no reason. All they want to do is rule out a domestic situation.” 

_They think it’s my fault too._

“How do I know if they’re real?” he asked quietly. Fear coursed through his body. “I need to be with him. What if they try to take him again? I can’t lose him. Not again.” 

Viktor felt the tears fall. 

_Not again._

Breathing became more difficult. No matter how hard he tried, Viktor couldn’t get enough air. 

_I’m having a panic attack._

 

\---

 

_“We interrupt our regular scheduled programming to bring you breaking news. Police and Emergency Medical Services called to the apartment of our National Hero, Viktor Nikiforov. For the latest we turn it over to Sergei Orlov.”_

_“The call came out about fifteen minutes ago. According to scanner traffic, Emergency Medical Services were called out on reports of an Omega in a drop. They later reported that the Omega was also possibly having a miscarriage. As you know, Viktor Nikiforov claims to be romantically linked to Yuuri Katsuki of Japan, who is registered as an Omega. It was 2016 when Nikiforov chose to coach Katsuki, taking the season off._

_“Since then, they relocated to Saint Petersburg to train together. A few months into the off season, both Katsuki and Yuri Plisetsky were taken less than a mile away from the training site and were missing for two years. Plisetsky and Katsuki have kept low profiles since being recovered in Moscow._

_“Scanner traffic indicated that the Katsuki is 16 weeks pregnant. Which means that when both Plisetsky and Katsuki were recovered, Katsuki would have been three or four weeks along. Which begs the question, was Katsuki cheating on Nikiforov the entire two years they were apart? Did Nikiforov know about this or was he tricked into staying with an Omega who clearly couldn’t keep his legs closed?_

_“In addition, many speculated that the child both Nikiforov and Katsuki claim to be theirs doesn’t truly belong to our National Hero. This recent revelation has once again brought those rumors to the forefront. Nikiforov claims there was a DNA test taken, but did not provide the results. We’ll continue to follow the story.”_

-***Yuri***-

 

He couldn’t stop shaking. No matter how tightly he gripped on objects inside the car, nothing grounded him. The unease remained at the forefront of his thoughts. Yuri didn’t know what he was about to walk into. 

All he could focus on was how wrong everything felt.

It was a long shot. 

He didn’t know exactly where they were taking Katsuki. Yuri knew they were legally obligated to take him to the nearest hospital for an initial assessment. He drummed his fingers on the passenger door, running through every possible scenario.

“We’re here,” Lilia announced.

Yuri didn’t bother to wait for her. He knew she would catch up eventually. There were few people in the lobby of the Emergency Room. He didn’t care about making a scene. Didn’t care about privacy.

All that mattered was Katsuki.

“Was Yuuri Katsuki admitted here?” he demanded.

“I’m sorry sir, I’m not allowed to divulge that information to strangers.”

“I’m not a stranger. My name is Yuri Plisetsky.” 

A glint of recognition. “I’m sorry, I’m still not allowed to give out that information.”

He fumed. “I know he’s in a drop. I need to know if he’s here.”

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave." 

“You don’t understand, I’m his bond mate!”

“One moment.”

The woman picked up the phone and began speaking to someone on the other line. Yuri couldn’t concentrate on her words. The lack of the bond consuming his mind as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. 

 _Please be okay._  

The doors to the ER opened and a nurse walked out. “Yuri Plisetsky?”

He whipped his head toward them. “Yes.”

“Follow me.” 

Yuri didn’t need to be told twice. The door closed behind him with a gentle thud. Antiseptic would normally overpower his sense of smell, but this time…

He could smell Katsuki. The familiar scent tainted with blood. He could also hear the faint cries of child. There was no mistaking who they belonged to. The nurse gestured to an open room.

“This is where we’ll bring him for recovery. He’s currently in surgery. You can wait in here.”

He sat down on a couch by the window, still numb. “Surgery?” His heart dropped.

 _The baby._  

“What about the child with him? I can hear him crying.” 

“He’s currently in the room with him. Having the child near him might make it less traumatic.”

Yuri numbly nodded.

Might.

“It also might be helpful to have something that smells like you.” 

He took off his hoodie and began to scent it heavily before silently handing it to the nurse.

The nurse left him alone. He sent a text to Lilia to know that he wasn’t going to be coming back for a while. 

_**Received** : Let me know if you need anything._

The seconds ticked by. Yuri walked around the room, anxiously. Every noise from the clock echoing loudly in the empty room. No one came to check on him. No one gave him an update.

 _Don’t leave us, Katsuki. Nika needs you. Viktor needs you._  

“I need you,” he whispered.

The minutes turned into hours. Eventually, he resettled onto the couch. Emptiness becoming a familiar companion.

The door to the room opened. He sat up. Katsuki was wheeled in on a bed. Yuri remembered their first days after being rescued and his heart dropped. 

This was exactly like then. 

Katsuki remained pale and unmoving. Nika curled up on his chest, asleep. Yuri’s jacket resting over the toddler to keep him warm. They hooked him up to several machines in the room. His heart clenched. 

The feeling of the bond hadn’t returned. Katsuki was still in a drop.

His mouth remained dry. “How is he?”

“Physically, he will be fine. Emotionally, he has more to battle through.”

“The baby?”

“We did everything we could.”

Yuri’s heart sank. He had figured.

_It’s not your fault, Katsuki. You did everything you could._

“I understand." 

“If he does come out of the drop, he might not have any memory of what happened. It would be best to scent him often and keep the child near him.”

Yuri nodded numbly. “Of course." 

There was no timeline for drops. Some Omegas came out of them easily. Others never woke up and whittled away. Yuri hoped, _prayed_ that Katsuki wouldn’t be one of the latter.

_You still have so much to live for._

Once they were alone, Yuri sat in the chair next to Katsuki’s bed and grabbed his hand. He let his scent flow freely—hoping it could draw the Omega out of the darkness.

If Katsuki woke up, there would be more therapy. More work. More problems.

He wondered just how much Viktor knew. If the other was truly prepared for the battles ahead.

Yuri knew.

Yuri knew too much.

He couldn’t fix this. 

That would be up to them.

 

-***Viktor***-

 

In the distance, he could hear a familiar voice speaking. The tone calm and soothing to his panicked mind. Immediately, Viktor tried to focus all of his attention solely on that voice. The words remained jumbled for several moments.

“Tell me five things you see, Viktor.”

See.

He looked around, blinking to focus his vision.

“Police, crown molding, curtains Yuuri picked out, Nika’s poodle, chair.” 

“Good. Tell me five things you hear.” 

Viktor took a deep breath and concentrated on the noises around him. “Camera clicking, radio, helicopter, people walking, and loud trucks.”

They repeated the process for the other senses. By the end, he could concentrate better. He realized his and Yuuri’s therapist was the one speaking to him.

“Can you take a few deep breaths for me?” He did. “Good. You’re doing so well.”

His body was shaking. The chaos of everything going on around him became more apparent. Police taking photos of his apartment, some speaking through the radio, while others were on their phones. Cleaning supplies ready to go by crime scene technicians.

_Crime scene._

The identifying jackets those individuals wore stuck out like a sore thumb. They were going to convict him of Omega abuse—prevent him from seeing Yuuri and Nika forever. 

“Deep breaths.”

He took in a few before looking away from them. A couple of people in suits stood out like sore thumbs. Badges were clipped to their belts. Both of them Alphas and identifying with APS. 

His heart clenched.

“May we speak with him?” one of the APS agents asked.

“Viktor, do you feel comfortable talking to them?”

He shook his head. No.

They could be lying. 

“Mister Nikiforov, I understand you don’t want to speak with us right now. However, I want to show you our badges. You have a phone, right?” 

He nodded.

“You can go to Alpha Protective Services’ website and type in the number below our photo. Then it will pull up our profile, okay? Then you can see if all our information matches. Your therapist has already looked at it, but we want you to feel comfortable with us, okay?”

Viktor’s stomach tightened. They handed over their badges to him. With shaky hands, he typed in their numbers. Sure enough, the profiles pulled up. He spent a long time looking at them.

They looked like their photos. It detailed how long they had been with the agencies and their specialties. He spent a long time looking at their profiles—slowly telling himself that they weren’t the same as those imposters.

“Can my therapist stay here?” he whispered. 

“Of course, Mister Nikiforov.” Relief. “Is there anywhere you would like to go inside the apartment to feel more comfortable?” 

“My son’s room.” 

They nodded. “Okay, do you want help standing up?” 

He thought about it for a moment before nodding. One of them helped him up and walked with him across the hall. The scent of both his son and fiancé washed over him. Not distress or a coppery tint. Happiness and content filled the room. Viktor took the chair Yuuri rocked Nika to sleep in.

“Whenever you’re ready to talk, we want to know what happened before you called emergency services.”

He bit his lip. Viktor didn’t want to tell them in case they took away his family. They probably wouldn’t tell him anything about them until he told his side of the story.

“Yuuri was really sick. Apparently, his morning sickness has been bad throughout the pregnancy and hadn’t gone away. Nika came to get me. He couldn’t communicate well, but I gathered it was about Yuuri. I went to check on him and found him curled up on the floor of the bathroom.

“We were talking. I…I told Yuuri that I didn’t want to raise a child that wasn’t mine. The next thing I knew, he fell into a drop and there was blood.” He felt the tears run down his face. “I didn’t mean to cause it to happen. I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I’ve been trying to find the words, but they didn’t come until I saw how miserable he was. He was pushing himself so hard for a child that was conceived from rape.” 

Silence filled the room. He did his best to contain his sobs—well aware of how loudly they echoed with all the quiet around him.

“Were there any signs of miscarriage before that conversation? Did he complain of cramps, lower back pain, or pelvic pains?”

He shook his head. “He didn’t tell me anything. The only time he complained about pain was when we fell asleep on the floor. He said he moved to the couch because it hurt his back. We were trying to get Nika ready for the day and he seemed to be in pain, but that was it.”

“Okay. Stay here for now. We’re going to talk to officers about the situation. Do you need anything?”

“No. I just want to see my family.” 

“We’ll be back soon.”

With that, the room emptied.

He looked around the space. Memories of his times with Nika and Yuuri filled his mind. The room was devoid of laughter and the delighted squeals of their son. Viktor’s heart clenched. 

What if it remained empty forever?

 

-Yakov-

 

He let out a heavy sigh in his office. 

The media always made a circus out of everything. But this was a whole new level. A Public Information Officer had given them an update on the situation regarding the face of Russian’s figure skating.

Vitya always seemed to be the center of drama.

This was something that would require a lot of time and effort to sweep to the side. Russian media was not kind to Katsuki. They weren’t fond of a foreign Omega being the one by their National Hero’s side.

Yakov didn’t blame them.

Thousands of Omegas grew up hoping to catch the eye of Vitya. Many of them joining the sport to try and get close to him.

No one did though.

Not until Katsuki entered Vitya’s life. 

Honestly, he didn’t care who his greatest success ended up with. At first, Yakov thought that Vitya only wanted the Omega as a bed partner. It didn’t take long for him to realize that they were soulmates.

In fact, you had to be stupid not to see it.

He turned off the TV, learning everything he already needed to know. His phone rang. Without looking at the number, he answered it.

“What?”

“Mister Feltsman,” the voice was too sugary. “I hope this latest setback won’t distract our Golden Boy from his training.”

He grit his teeth. The Federation only cared about results. “Of course not. Just a hiccup. He’ll be back in training before the end of the week.”

“Good. The Federation would hate to reallocate their resources from someone who has brought us much success.”

“He’ll be back on the ice shortly. I have the feeling his Omega will want to return to Japan after this.”

“See that his distraction does.” 

The call ended after that. Yakov threw the phone on his desk.

He couldn’t keep pushing Vitya forever. Soon, the other would break.

_More than he already has._

His eyes wandered to the photos on his desk. Yakov was not a sentimental man. However, he was fond of one picture in particular. It was taken after Katsuki came to Saint Petersburg to train. 

All of his top students gathered together to take a photo on the ice. Viktor’s smile reached his eyes for the first time in years. Katsuki had brought that out. Even Yuri had a genuine look on his face.

And wasn’t flipping off the camera for once.

He didn’t have any other pictures of them like that photo.

Yakov clenched his fist. He hated being part of the reason why they no longer smiled that way.

_Just a few more weeks, Vitya. Then you can announce your retirement. Please let me be selfish until then. The Federation needs to not suspect anything while I plan for you to be free from them entirely._

He woke up the computer from its resting mode and transferred a small amount of money from one account to another.

 

-**Viktor**-

 

Anxiousness settled in his body. Every part of him screamed at him to move. Several other people were discussing his fate.

Whether or not he would be allowed to see Yuuri and Nika again.

The thought created a never-ending unease. Nothing could distract him from the fact that he could have just seen his fiancé and son for the last time in his life. That fear kept him rooted in Nika’s room. He didn’t want the answer. 

Without warning, the door opened. The APS agents and his therapist returned. Viktor waited for their judgment.

“We took everything into consideration and consulted with police, your fiancé’s doctors, and OPS regarding the situation. They don’t believe that this was the result of Omega abuse. The doctor believes this was inevitable given the Omega’s history. They believe the drop as a defensive measure from what was happening biologically.” 

He let out a deep breath. “What does that mean for me?” 

“It means that right now, it is not being investigated as a criminal matter. However, there are a few interviews that need to be conducted before you are allowed to see your fiancé and son. We need to corroborate your character and relationship with family and friends. Can you provide us with a list of names?” 

“Yes.”

“If the reports come back satisfactory, you will be allowed to visit your fiancé and son.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

_Please wait for me, Yuuri._

 

-*Yuri*-

 

Nika stirred and immediately climbed to be in his arms. The toddler nuzzled his neck, tears still silently falling. He held the child close to his body, doing his best to comfort him.

The routine familiar from their time in the compound. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of the toddler’s head and began to rock back and forth. Nika’s small hands gripped his shirt tightly. Yuri didn’t know how long it had taken for the toddler to peel himself away from his neck.

Bright blue eyes looked up at him. Still watery and laced with concern.

“I know. You’re concerned about him,” he whispered gently. “He’s strong though. He’ll come out of it. We just have to wait.” 

“Mama,” Nika said and pointed toward Katsuki. “Mama?”

Yuri’s eyes widened. When had he? 

“Mama is going to be okay. He’s just resting, okay?”

Nika looked back at Katsuki before looking up at him again. “Mama.”

“I know. I want him to wake up too.”

The toddler frowned—not believing him. Yuri didn’t know what to do, but try and encourage more speech as a distraction. “Can you say ‘Nika’?”

“Knee,” the child repeated. 

“That’s the first part of your name, Nika.”

“Knee-uh.”

Together, they repeated the word until he was able to say it without correction. Yuri smiled. Then the toddler pointed at him. “Nika?”

He shook his head and pointed at him. “Nika.”

The child pointed his finger toward himself. “Nika.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

The toddler frowned, perplexed at what to call him. Yuri began to teach the little one his name. It did take much, but Nika remained distraught by it.

“Yuri,” he chirped.

“That’s right.” 

The toddler shook his head and began going through the names. He pointed at each of them. “Mama, Nika, Yuri.” 

“Good job.”

Nika whined.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

The toddler babbled, struggling to find the right words. He caught his name thrown in there a couple of times, but couldn’t understand what was causing Nika so much distress.

“I can’t understand you, Nika. Is there something wrong with my name? Do you not like calling me ‘Yuri’?” 

Nika paused and nodded. “Name.” 

“It’s Yuri.”

The toddler shook his head. “No.” He sighed, this wasn’t going to get solved any time soon. Nika scrunched his nose, deep in thought. 

“Dah-dah,” he heard. Nika squealed in delight. “Dada! Mama, Nika, Dada!”

Yuri didn’t know how to react to the new name. His mind instantly flashed to Viktor. What would the old man think? He wasn’t trying to be a parent to the toddler.

Nika smiled, obviously pleased with himself. No matter how much he tried to convince the other that he wasn’t “dada,” the toddler paid him no mind. Eventually, the child tired himself out and fell back asleep. Yuri wrapped him tightly in his jacket.

His name would be a topic of discussion for later.

Right now, Katsuki’s recovery was more important.

 

-***Viktor***-

 

They finally cleared him to see Yuuri. Every one of his interviews caused them no cause for concern. The hours that had passed were agonizing. Viktor didn’t know when he last went to sleep or how long had passed before he was cleared for a visit. 

While preparing to be cleared for a visit, his therapist held an emergency session with him. They talked about the incident in depth. Viktor blamed himself for being selfish.

He had caused the miscarriage.

They went through coping techniques and what he could do to help Yuuri with recovery.

The hardest part was suppressing the feeling that this was his fault. 

His Yuuri and Nika needed him. Guilt ate at his heart. He didn’t know what would be waiting for him through the doors of his fiancé’s room. The doctors told him that his other half hadn’t responded too much.

Likely still dealing with the after effects of the drop. 

Viktor shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He had plenty of time to mull over an apology. His careless words had caused…

He stopped himself there. Their therapist said that it wouldn’t be productive to go down that train of thought. She argued that Viktor didn’t know if he was truly the cause of Yuuri’s drop. However, he knew exactly what he had done.

His words could never be forgiven.

The nurse escorting him to Yuuri. He hadn’t bothered to pay attention to what floor they were on, let alone how many turns they had taken. Every step they grew closer to his fiancé, the more his guilt tried to leave him paralyzed. 

He found himself standing in front of a closed door. His fiancé’s name written outside. Viktor took a deep breath and went inside.

Yuuri was worse than he imagined.

Pale. Dark circles pronounced. And it looked like he had lost weight. Eyes blank. Body unmoving.

Viktor wanted to throw himself on the ground, beg for forgiveness.

He didn’t know if Yuuri would even hear it though.

Nika was resting on his fiancé’s chest, a jacket belonging to neither of them covering the toddler’s body. His small hands curled around the edges of it. He could smell Yurio all over the room.

His heart clenched.

_Now is not the time to be jealous._

Yurio occupied the chair next to Yuuri’s bed. The teenaged Alpha lifted his head from its position and blinked.

“You’re finally here.” It wasn’t harsh, but still stung.

“Sorry,” he muttered. He didn’t know exactly what he was apologizing for. “How is he?”

“He’s out of the drop, but won’t respond to anyone. I think he’s still processing what happened.”

Viktor flinched.

_My fault._

“Losing a baby takes a toll on Omegas. Katsuki’s had to suffer more than most.”

His heart sank. “He lost the baby.”

It wasn’t a question. 

“I’m not surprised,” Yurio muttered. “But he didn’t deserve to go through this again.” 

_Again?_

His heart pounded in his ears. How many times had Yuuri lost a baby? Yurio looked at him, scrutinizing him for a moment. It took a while before he registered that he had asked the question out loud. 

“It’s not my place to tell you,” Yurio answered.

Viktor looked over his fiancé’s form once again. Everything was his fault. If he had just kept his mouth shut—if he had just accepted what happened, what was going to be then their future wouldn’t be in jeopardy. A finger rubbed the gold ring Yuuri had bought him.

He didn’t deserve to wear it.

“Oi,” Yurio hissed sharply. Viktor returned his attention to the teenaged Alpha. “Stop thinking stupid things. He doesn’t need you throwing in the towel in your relationship. Don’t forget that you were the only thing keeping him going in that place.” 

Yurio’s words were meant to be comforting, but they only twisted the knot in his stomach tighter. He really didn’t deserve Yuuri.

The teen stood up from his spot and went to leave the room. “If you break his heart, I will make sure you never see them again,” Yurio growled.

Every thought in his mind centered around the threat. Panic bubbled in his chest as he looked over at Yuuri and Nika. 

_I can’t lose them._

He had already missed so much in their lives. Never seeing his soulmate and son again… No one would be able to piece him back together. Viktor numbly walked over the now-vacant chair. Gently, he took his fiancé’s hand.

“Please come back. I love you. I need you,” he whispered. 

Viktor gently ran his fingers through Nika’s hair with his other hand. The toddler let out a content sigh, but didn’t wake up. This was his family. He had messed up horribly. All he wanted was a chance to fix it.

_If you don’t want me, I’ll let you go no matter how painful that may be. I deserve it._

Time didn’t matter when he was next to his fiancé and son. No matter how long he had to be there, he would be until Yuuri told him otherwise.

He didn’t know how long it would take to get the love of his life to respond to him, but Viktor hoped it would all be worth it in the end.

 

-***Yuri***-

 

He knew that there was nothing more he could do for Viktor and Katsuki. They didn’t need him complicating things further—just time to talk things out. So he left. Yuri had no intention of following through with his threat.

No matter how much they were struggling now, he knew they would work it out. They were soulmates. Being apart from each other would be painful long-term. Even if he was bonded to Katsuki, Yuri was no replacement for Viktor. 

His phone chimed in his pocket while he waited for the elevator to arrive. Lilia was on her way to pick him up from the hospital. He said he’d meet her out front in a few minutes. Otabek also messaged him.

Engrossed in the conversation with his friend, he didn’t register the unusual crowd size outside the hospital doors until the wind hit his face and he heard calls of his name. Yuri looked up to see all the cameras and reporters focusing on him. He went to tug his hood up, but remembered he had left it in the hospital room with Nika. 

_Shit._

Most of them were trying to get a statement after announcing his return to skating and being released from the hospital. He ignored all of them, pushing past them to try and find Lilia’s car. 

His heart raced. Yuri felt vulnerable around the large group. 

 _Large groups mean something’s wrong._  

Panic bells rang in his mind. Every time there were so many people gathered, someone was being punished.

Usually Katsuki.

 _Don’t hurt him. Not anymore._  

“Plisetsky, is it true that you are Yuuri Katsuki’s bondmate?" 

The question snapped him out of his panic briefly.

“Who said that?” he growled.

“A witness in the hospital said that you claimed to be Yuuri Katsuki’s bondmate. Is that true? Does this mean Katsuki cheated on Viktor Nikiforov? How do you feel being bonded to a power-hungry Omega?”

His stomach churned. How could they think about Katsuki that way? They didn’t know the truth at all. Didn’t know what they had suffered through. Not only that, but the media wasn’t interested in spinning a story of survival. 

No matter what he answered, the words would be twisted into half-truths to further smear Katsuki’s image.

“Is Katsuki such a good lay that you had to have him for yourself?”

“When did he seduce you too?”

Every question made him feel sick. His feet were rooted in place. The reporters closed around him, shoving their cameras near his face. Their questions a constant buzz in his ears. They drowned each other out. All he could think about was their perception of Katsuki—one of the strongest people he had ever met.

But they didn’t see him as a person. Katsuki was defined by his dynamic.

It was disgusting.

They had been taken, kidnapped, tortured, and all they cared about was the fact that Katsuki was his bondmate.

Not the fact that they were trafficked.

“Get out of the way!” a voice demanded. Yuri faintly heard the clacking of heels against the concrete. “Yuri Plisetsky?” 

He looked up to see Lilia in front of him. His mind remained a jumbled mess. She eyed him up and down and clucked her tongue. Without another word, she took off her jacket and put it over his shoulders. 

His body felt like it was moving in slow motion as he went to clutch the edges before putting it on completely. The weight pulled him back down. Yuri still couldn’t think clearly, but he could register where he was and who was with him.

“May I touch you?” Lilia asked quietly.

He nodded. Or at least, that’s what he attempted to do. Yuri must have succeeded because Lilia gently took his hand and began to lead him through the crowd of reporters. 

If they asked him any questions, he didn’t register them. His mind remained in panic mode. 

_They know we’re bondmates. They’re going to destroy his reputation._

He pulled the jacket around him tighter and pulled his knees up closer to his body. Sitting normally felt too open, vulnerable. 

_He didn’t have a choice. He didn’t force me._

“Yuri Plisetsky.” The tone sharp. He jolted and looked toward the voice. Lilia had opened the door to the passenger side. “May I help you?”

Again, he numbly nodded as she undid his seat belt and helped him inside the mansion. They slowly made their way to his bedroom.

The familiar surroundings should have calmed him, but they didn’t. Lilia set him on the bed.

“Will you feel safer if you kept the coat?” she asked quietly. He nodded in response. She took off his shoes and wrapped him tightly in the quilt on his bed. Being tucked in the blanket helped take the edge off a little more.

Lilia looked everything over. “I’ll check on you at dinner. Door open or closed?”

He thought for a moment. “Closed,” Yuri whispered. She nodded and began to leave the room. He had to say something, clarify everything. “Lilia!”

She turned around and looked at him. Not with her usual judging glance, but concern. “Yes?”

Yuri took a deep breath. “He isn’t what they say he is. He wouldn’t, he didn’t. We are, but it wasn’t forced on me.”

Her gaze lingered for a moment. For a brief moment, he felt that she didn’t understand. That she had already made up her mind about Katsuki.

“I know,” she answered. “When you’re ready to tell me, I will listen. Until then, we’ll take everything one day at a time.”

Her words settled his fears. Yuri nodded. She wasn’t going to treat Katsuki differently because of the stupid media. Just having that reassurance was enough to put the numerous racing thoughts at a standstill.

He closed his eyes. His mind thinking of what he could say to the media. They would have to address this.

Yuri didn’t want to focus on them being bonded together. He wanted them to understand what they went through.

The thought of telling everyone his story terrified him.

But it needed to be done so no one could misinterpret their relationship anymore. With the thought of the daunting task ahead, he let himself sink into a restless slumber.

 

-***Yuuri***-

 

The weight of loss weighed heavily on his body. Emptiness engulfed him. Yuuri had lost another child. He didn’t deserve to be called a parent—an Omega. After all of his pregnancies, he had one who had somehow survived.

_But I couldn’t save the other…_

The weight against his chest shifted. Yuuri blinked and took in the room. It was pristine white. His mind instantly registered it as part of a hospital.

_Makes sense._

He looked down and saw Nika curled against his chest. The toddler soundly asleep, wrapped in a jacket with leopard print. Only one person had a jacket like this. 

Yuuri looked around, expecting Yurio to be there. His scent was still there, but mixed with another. He spotted Viktor in the chair next to the bed. His hand held by his fiancé. The gold ring pronounced against their pale skin.

Without thinking, he moved his hand to touch the cool metal. His heart clenching at the memory of his own ring. A symbol of their love. He didn’t know what had become of his matching half. Yuuri assumed it had been sold.

He felt the movement of someone ripping off his own ring as he fought to stay conscious. A deep grumbling voice mentioned something about holding on to it. When he closed his eyes, he could see three people above him—but their faces weren’t cleared. 

The same person who said they would hold on to his ring also said not to ruin Yura’s legs.

However, he wasn’t sure if that part was imagined or not.

“Yuuri?” The hopeful tone in his fiancé’s voice drew his attention away from the vague memories. He met Viktor’s eyes. Red-rimmed and watery. He lifted his hand and brushed away the tears staining the other’s face. 

“Viktor,” he whispered. His other half leaned into his touch.

“I’m so sorry,” the other cried. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I caused all this to happen. I’ll understand if you want to end things.”

The thought of ending their relationship made him feel nauseous. Viktor kept repeating his apology as Yuuri struggled to find the words he wanted to say. Yes, he was upset at the way the conversation had gone.

He needed to explain what happened in the bathroom. In the compound. Everything.

“Viktor.” It always amazed him how much attention his fiancé gave him with just one word. Yuuri took a deep breath. “What happened wasn’t your fault.” 

The other drew their brows close together. “But…what I said…” 

“Hurt, yes, but didn’t cause the miscarriage. It was going to happen anyway. I had been experiencing the symptoms before you were finally honest with me. I…was already at an elevated risk to miscarry for several reasons.” 

Yuuri took a stabilizing breath. Viktor’s eyes remained on him. He shifted, wincing at the discomfort it caused. “The nurse told me that because the child wasn’t conceived with either my bondmate or soulmate that I would likely miscarry. The genetic-dynamic makeup of the person who the child belonged to wasn’t compatible with my body. I was hoping it wouldn’t happen…but this isn’t the first child I lost.”

He swallowed thickly.

_He needs to know._

“In the compound…I had several pregnancies. All of them ended kind of the same way.”

“How many?” Viktor asked quietly. “How many children did you lose?”

“This one makes six.” He waited for Viktor to say anything—to reject him right then and there. That didn’t happen. Yuuri took another deep breath. “Each one was more painful than the last, but the first child I lost will always hurt the most.”

Nika shifted again on his chest. He used his free hand to adjust the jacket around the toddler.

Yuuri returned his attention to Viktor. He had to see his fiancé’s reaction.

“Nika was a twin.”

 

-***Viktor***-

 

The revelation knocked the breath out of him.

Twins. 

They had conceived two children! 

The elation at the news was quickly diminished by the painful and obvious fact that there was only one child in Yuuri’s arms.

“Oh,” he breathed.

Yuuri’s hand began to shake. He took it and squeezed it gently. Tears formed in his fiancé’s eyes.

“You should have seen him, Viktor. He had dark hair just like Nika’s, beautiful brown eyes, and chubby cheeks. He was so beautiful,” Yuuri choked out. “Yura tried to save him. He did everything he could…but because I couldn’t—because of _them_ …”

“You did everything you could,” he said sharply. Yuuri was a sobbing mess. They had two sons. Two beautiful sons.

 _And I only know one_. 

His anger toward the people who had taken his fiancé increased. It wasn’t fair. He had missed two years of life with Yuuri. Two years of settling into a family, of meeting his sons.

“What did you name him?” he asked.

Yuuri shook his head. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t name him. It was easier if I gave him a number so I could try and move on.”

“But you couldn’t.”

“How could I?” Yuuri sobbed. “He was _ours_. He was part of both of us. I know we messed up the timing of having kids—but I wanted him. Wanted both of them to live happy lives. And I…lost him.” 

Viktor let his fiancé cry. There wasn’t anything he could say to make the pain any better. Now he understood why Yuuri didn’t want to get rid of the baby—even one that didn’t belong to both of them.

He couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain and suffering his fiancé had gone through. Even with Yurio there, the experiences couldn’t compare. Both were traumatized in different ways.

Making up to Yuuri was his priority, but he also need to soothe things over with the teenaged Alpha.

_I wish I had known all of this beforehand._

However, Viktor understood why they both kept it close to them. That kind of hurt never fully went away. Not many understood it.

He had to try.

For both of their sake’s.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“I should be apologizing to you,” Yuuri answered.

“No. You have nothing to apologize for. You did everything you could. They did this to you. They were the ones who took everything away. You are not responsible for what happened.”

Yuuri’s tears increased. “How can you say that? How could you still think that I’m not at fault? I couldn’t carry them to term. I couldn’t protect them.”

“Because you were taken against your will and forced to do horrible things. I could never blame you for what happened in that miserable place. You had no choice. You are so strong and amazing for continuing to fight through everything you’ve endured. I was stupid. I didn’t understand. I do now. I want to be by your side every step of the way from here on out, if you’ll have me. I will never leave you.” 

His fiancé took in a shuddering breath. “Kiss me.” 

“What?”

“Please, Viktor, kiss me.”

He obeyed, pressing a gentle kiss to his fiancé’s lips. It was salty from both of their tears, but he felt wanted and loved for the first time in years. They broke apart. Viktor wanted to cry again because the kiss was so short and he knew that another one wasn’t guaranteed any time soon.

Yuuri went for another. He happily returned it. It was just as sweet and gentle as the first. Not one of possession and dominance, but of love and commitment. Viktor loved these kisses.

The Omega pulled away and pressed soft kisses into his cheeks.

“I love you,” Yuuri whispered.

Viktor squeezed his fiancé’s hand gently. “I love you too.” 

“We still have more to talk about,” Yuuri said quietly.

He nodded. “I know. We’ll talk about how I can make everything up to you later. You look like you need sleep.” 

His fiancé nodded. “Please don’t leave.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he reassured. Viktor watched the love of his life lean back and get settled. Sleep coming quickly. He had one more question to ask though. “Yuuri?” 

“Yes?” 

“May I name our other child?” 

Yuuri’s eyes widened. “You…you want to?” 

Viktor nodded. “Yes. He deserves a name and a proper place where we can pay our respects.”

The tears once again fell down Yuuri’s face. “I would like all that very much, Viktor. Please give him a name.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dying to know everyone's thoughts.
> 
> (And yes, I know that technically Nika's twin doesn't count as a miscarriage, but they were just counting children who were lost after that point.)
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites
> 
> ***Chapter Summary***
> 
> Yuuri is rushed to the hospital after his drop. Yuri can feel it instantly and demands Lilia takes him to the hospital. He is able to get to a recovery room at least because he pulls the "I'm his bondmate" card. Viktor on the other hand, is stuck in the apartment. He has a panic attack over everything that is going on--but especially because APS is involved.
> 
> He is brought out of it and the investigation into what happened continues. The media twists everything to make it sound worse and evil than it is. Yuri and Nika have a cute moment where they go through names. Nika tells Yuri that he is "dada."
> 
> Yakov is following everything closely and the Federation is basically like "don't let Viktor stay off the ice."
> 
> Viktor is finally allowed to see his family. Yuuri's out of the drop, but not responding. Yuri tells him to not break Yuuri's heart or he'll take them away. He doesn't meant it though. Yuri leaves them alone and gets bombarded by the press. Someone squealed that he was Yuuri's bondmate. Lilia comes to his rescue.
> 
> Viktor and Yuuri talk. Yuuri reveals that Nika was a twin who died at the compound. A lot more makes sense to Viktor now. He vows to stay by Yuuri's side. They're both emotional and Yuuri asks Viktor to kiss him.
> 
> They promise to get through everything together.


	33. Chapter Thirty-Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your overwhelming support last chapter! I am humbled by your kind words. This chapter is a little easier to swallow, but still pay attention to the warnings.
> 
> **Two Star Warnings** For Yuuri's recovery from the miscarriage. It's not talked about in detail, but it is a focal point of how he interacts with Viktor in the beginning. Also, mentions of anxiety. Yuri goes into detail of what he went through at the compound. None of it is super descriptive, but want to put a warning on it regardless.
> 
> *One Star Warnings* For anxiety, mentions of Yuuri's recovery, and the like. Nothing super descriptive though.
> 
> Also wanted to leave you with some notes:
> 
> Many of you have commented about the media. As someone who works in media, this type of targeting and smearing is not what many outlets practice. I am taking some liberties here and want to clarify why I've made some of these choices.
> 
> 1) Russia is government-controlled media. Nothing goes on air without approval.  
> 2) Because Viktor is/has been their darling for so many years, they are very protective of him. He is upper class and anything that reflects poorly on his reputation is destroyed or torn to shreds.  
> 3) Figure Skating is paid for by the government. So they control his image so to speak. Again, he is someone they must "protect."
> 
> In countries where media is not run by the government, they are getting fair coverage. However, you have to realize that a lot of what is coming out of Russian media is skewed so they can only write based on what is carefully released.
> 
> Hope that clarifies some of your questions regarding the press. Again, I'm taking this to an extreme. Not all media is bad, though the opportunity to be bad is always present.

-**Yuri**-

 

He came out of sleep feeling exhausted and foggy-minded.

Yuri pulled the item wrapped tight around him closer. His mind confronting the reality of what had happened. The media didn’t understand the hell he went through. They would never be able to grasp the pain and torment both he and Katsuki lived with on a daily basis.

He hated dealing with the press, but they had backed him into a corner.

Yuri would make things right.

With his mind made up, the next thing was to tell Lilia. He untangled himself from the mess of blankets and a fluffy jacket that didn’t belong to him. Yuri padded out of his room and found the former Prima focused on cooking. He sat on one of the bar stools at the marble top kitchen island.

She turned around and nodded at him. He held on to her coat tightly. 

Lilia didn’t pressure him to say anything in regards to earlier. For that, and many other reasons, he was grateful that she was letting him take things at his own pace. She placed a vegetable stir fry in front of him along with a glass of water.

“Do you want to keep my coat for a little while longer?” she asked calmly. 

He shook his head and offered the garment to her. “Thank you for letting me borrow it.”

“I hope it helped.”

She took it and hung it in the front closet. Lilia took a seat at the kitchen island next to him. They ate in silence. She made sure that he had a second helping of food.

After dinner, he cleaned the dishes. Lilia made herself comfortable in the living room with a book. Her cat curled up in her lap as she kept herself occupied. Still accessible, but not pushing him for answers. 

Yuri finished cleaning and joined her in the space. He shook his leg anxiously. Would she approve of his decision? Would she change her mind and hate Katsuki?

The thoughts ran a million miles in his head. He wanted to go back to his room and not think about it anymore. But he needed her help. 

“Lilia,” he said. His voice hoarse and cracked at the simple word. She gave him her full attention. Book placed on an end table. A hand gently stroked the content feline on her lap.

“Take your time,” she said simply. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

He nodded. A few deep breaths helped calm himself for a brief moment.

 _I can do this._  

“You know Katsuki and I are bonded,” he began. “We have been since we were taken.” His hand rubbed his scent gland on his neck. “Katsuki was scared about what would happen to him. He made the suggestion that we bond—even if it wasn’t permanent—so he wouldn’t be forced with someone he didn’t know. We knew how it was likely going to be. They aren’t kind to Omegas.” 

He took a few more breaths and thought of how best to proceed from there. “Katsuki told me that it was up to me. I made the decision for his protection. If I didn’t—I don’t want to think about what could have happened. He would be worse off. He didn’t seduce me though. Katsuki isn’t like that. We had to do what we could to survive. No one sees that. They don’t see what really happened.” 

His thoughts were a mess, but he hoped that Lilia understood.

“How can I help you?” she asked. 

“I want to set the record straight. I want to point the attention to the horrible things that actually happened.”

“I’ll help you arrange a press conference and work with you to figure out what to say.” 

Tears threatened to fall. “Thank you, Lilia. Thank you.” 

She stood and walked over to where he was sitting. “May I hug you?” 

He nodded. She took him in her arms and rubbed his back as he cried into her shoulder. Yuri couldn’t ever thank Lilia enough for being exactly who he needed in this situation.

 

-**Yuuri**-

 

When he woke again, he felt an absence in his arms. Yuuri reached for Nika, trying to find the toddler without opening his eyes. Eventually, he gave in and instantly began scanning the room.

Viktor was holding their son in his arms. “Papa!” the toddler spoke. 

“That’s right, Nika. I’m papa!” A heart-shaped smile spread across his fiancé’s face. Yuuri felt his heart melt at the sight.

“Papa!” Nika repeated.

“Yes. And who are you?”

“Nika!” 

“You’re so smart!”

The toddler’s eyes flashed in his direction and Nika beamed. “Mama!” Their child squirmed to get free. 

“Nika,” he whispered. The toddler returned to his arms and nuzzled his neck.

“Mama,” Nika repeated. 

“I love you.” 

“Wub oo.”

He smiled and kissed Nika on the top of his head. They stayed like this until a nurse came and asked if Yuuri felt like walking. Despite him still feeling awful, he agreed. Their son was thrilled to be given more space to stretch out.

They didn’t try to go too far. He felt twinges of pain, but it wasn’t unbearable. When he sat down again, the nurse told him that he could go home as early as tomorrow provided everything checked out. A doctor would come to see them in the afternoon and they would figure out a plan then.

Once it was just them again, Yuuri knew it was time to continue the conversation that they didn’t get to finish yesterday. 

Viktor kept an eye on their son, who was currently wandering around the room. Nika wasn’t getting into anything, just merely stretching his legs.

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri whispered. 

Viktor redirected his attention toward him. “Why?”

“For keeping such a huge part of my time in the compound a secret.”

“Yuuri, you have nothing to apologize for. That type of experience isn’t something that should be told before you’re ready. I want to know more about your time there, but not under these types of circumstances,” Viktor answered.

He nodded. Yuuri still felt guilty. What for, he wasn’t exactly sure. “I want to know everything you went through while I was gone. I know it wasn’t easy for you either.” 

“In time,” Viktor promised. “For now, I want us to concentrate one what you want to do going forward. What our future will look like.”

He thought for a moment. Memories of Hasetsu came flashing to his mind. The longing to go back to a sleepy town tugged at his heartstrings. “I want to go back to Hasetsu.”

 

-*Viktor*-

 

He swallowed. His mind thinking of all the worse-case possibilities. Did Yuuri want to go back home without him? 

“Okay,” he whispered.

“I want us to make it our home,” Yuuri continued. “Being in Russia…I don’t feel safe here.”

Viktor sighed in relief. His fiancé wanted him there too! “I understand. I would like to make a home in Hasetsu too.”

They had talked about it before. It was an idea they had before Yuuri came to train in Saint Petersburg full time. They wanted a place to retreat to, somewhere that belonged to them. 

“I know you still have your obligations,” Yuuri said. “But I would like to go ahead with Nika and maybe Yura.”

The thought of his fiancé going with another Alpha didn’t bother him anymore. He knew that their relationship was going to be complex. For how many years, he didn’t know. But he would accommodate and make room for the teenager he considered a little brother. 

“Is that okay?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor heard the unspoken “please be honest,” at the end of the sentence. 

He turned over the idea over and over again. “I’m not completely sure,” Viktor answered. “I’m anxious because of everything that has happened. However, I know that you going ahead will give you time that you need with your family.” 

“You don’t have to make a decision right away,” Yuuri reassured him. “I don’t need much time. I don’t think I want to be apart from you for longer than a week.”

Viktor’s heart agreed with that statement. “We can look at real estate there online and have your family check it out for us ahead of time. Then you can go ahead and get some things set up while I announce my retirement and sell the apartment.”

Yuuri nodded. “That sounds good. We don’t have to rush into any decisions though. For now, I just want us to be a family.”

“Okay.” He wanted some form of intimacy from Yuuri—reassurance that he was still loved. Viktor bit his lip. Asking for it was difficult though. He didn’t want to set off another spiral.

His fiancé grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. He squeezed back.

“May I kiss you?” he asked quietly.

Yuuri nodded. “Yes.”

Viktor pressed a gentle kiss to his fiancé’s lips. “Thank you for trusting me.”

“Thank you for loving me.”

 

-**Yuri**-

 

The day of the press conference came. Yuri felt like throwing up the entire time leading up to the start of it. Together, he and Lilia had worked for days on how to make sure none of his words could be twisted. News of his first public appearance since being released from the hospital in Moscow made international news.

Yakov had been furious when he found out about the event.

_“I’m your coach, I should be the one scheduling your appearances!”_

_“When I need to talk about the future of my career, I’ll call you. This is completely unrelated.”_

When Yakov looked like he wanted to continue, Lilia had been the one to silence him. Her presence grounded him in his struggle to figure out exactly where he belonged in the Katsuki-Nikiforov family. He took a deep breath. She smiled at him and reassured him that he could do this.

She went out first to introduce him and tell the press that he reserved the right to decline answering questions at any point. He stepped into the room. Lights began flashing. Yuri did his best to ignore how many people were actually there.

He sat down and took a few steadying breaths.

“Thank you for joining me here. I know many of you are anxious to hear about my progress in regards to restarting my figure skating career. I’m not here to answer or talk about any of that.”

There were a few mummers of amongst the press. Many of them looked genuinely confused.

“As many of you are aware, I was kidnapped over two years ago not too far away from my training facility here in Saint Petersburg. Taken with me was Yuuri Katsuki, Japan’s ace and fiancé of Viktor Nikiforov. Human trafficking is more common than people talk about. Moscow and Saint Petersburg have some of the highest rates of human trafficking in the world.

“Many people who disappear never return again. By all statistics, I shouldn’t be here, but I am. What I went through, what Katsuki went through can be described as nothing but hell. When I awoke, we were in a military-style truck. There were other humans packed in with us. 

“They too, were taken from the streets. We knew our odds. Human trafficking is something we hope never happens, but we still know the statistics. Betas and Alphas are typically used as muscle for hard labor. Omegas on the other hand, are often reduced to sex slaves. Raped on a daily basis.”

Many flinched at his harsh words. He was having an impact.

“Worse—they could be bonded permanently to the person who caused their pain. Omegas would forever be trapped by their rapists. This fear was instilled both Katsuki and myself. We grow up being taught about the dangers, but never thought it would be a reality.

“In that moment, we were faced with a cruel reality. In those circumstances, it was decided that it would be better for Katsuki to be bonded to me—even temporarily, than to someone who raped him. Viktor and Katsuki wanted to wait until marriage to bond, but reality wasn’t as kind to them. Yes, I am bonded to Katsuki.”

More reporters started whispering amongst each other.

“But,” he said sharply. Their attention snapped back toward him. “It was my choice. I made the decision to bond with him for his protection. He never forced me to do this. If there was a chance of us getting out of there alive, I wanted Katsuki to have the future he dreamed of with his fiancé. 

“We didn’t know if we would make it out alive. They separated us into groups. He was taken away to a place that I rarely got to see. I was forced to do hard labor. I had one and a half meals daily. Just enough to keep me alive, but not enough to keep my previous physical form. 

“Those who took us taunted Betas and Alphas with food. Many of them ended up killing each other for an extra bite. Several ended up mangled beyond recognition. It was a sick game they played. These men were dressed in military uniforms. They dealt punishments without remorse and many died in the winter months.

“My routine was work, eat, and sleep. I tried to keep my head down as much as possible. Every time I stepped out of line, Katsuki was the one they punished. He has endured more than any of you will ever know. I can’t speak for his suffering. But I can tell you the energy wasted on attacking his character is upsetting. 

“We were victims of human trafficking. In Russia, human trafficking happens every single day. It’s estimated that over a million people of the country’s population is trafficked during their lifetime. Many from other countries and then bussed out of Russia to keep them permanently missing. These monsters destroy families and it ends in heartbreak. 

“I was lucky. But I know there are thousands more who aren’t as lucky. Shelters for human trafficking victims have closed due to lack of funding. Those who are prosecuted can only receive a maximum ten year sentence, but human trafficking happens every day. Not one of you want to talk about the reality though. Katuski did nothing wrong.

"But you all are doing a disservice to the public by focusing on attacking a victim of human trafficking just because he’s engaged to Russia’s National Hero. If you don’t want to focus on how horrible life was these past two years—leave us all alone. We don’t exist to sensationalize your gossipy headlines. We’re fucking humans who went through hell—one that is still a reality for thousands in our country. That’s all.”

 

-*Yuuri*-

 

Recovery always felt unnatural and weird to him. Physically, he was fine. Emotionally, Yuuri couldn’t keep up with all of his thoughts and feelings. Progress was one step forward and two steps backward. Every time he had a setback, he felt worse about himself. Often times, he cried himself to sleep—blaming himself for being weak.

Viktor was there though.

On the days his losses weighed the most, his fiancé whispered nothing but praises and comforting words. He didn’t believe them most of the time, but they helped. Every little bit made the difference.

They began to look at houses on the market in Hasetsu. He insisted they have at least four bedrooms. He wanted Yura to stay with them whenever possible. Viktor didn’t protest at the thought of a permanent place for the younger Alpha.

“I know he’s important to you and Nika,” Viktor said. “I may not like the fact that he’s your bond mate, but I will never hold that against you or him. Plus, it would’ve been likely he moved in with us anyway if circumstances were different. Can you imagine feeding him through puberty?”

Yuuri laughed. “We would‘ve had to get part time jobs to pay for groceries.”

The laughter was contagious and the two of them cooked up various scenarios of what the future would have been like while looking at houses.

“How about this one?” Viktor asked. He scrolled through the pictures. Six bedrooms, four baths. More space than they needed, but it was the perfect halfway distance between his family’s hot springs and Ice Castle Hasetsu.

“It’s worth having them check out at least,” he said.

“I think we have a good starting point.” 

He nodded and sent the listings to his sister.

A week after his release from the hospital, mail came for him. Passports for him and Nika. The ability to leave a country that carried too many bad memories. The thought of seeing his family again excited him, but he put it on the back burner for now.

He and Viktor were starting to find their footing together. 

Though it was strained by the fact his fiancé was forced back to training for the upcoming season. Viktor promised that this was only temporary. Yuuri had a hard time understanding why he needed to keep up the façade for so long. Soon, assignments for the Grand Prix series would be assigned. 

It felt like a never-ending trap.

 

-Yuri-

 

Two weeks after Katsuki was released from the hospital, he showed up at Lilia’s for training again. He was welcomed without hesitation. Nika ran up to him and shouted “Dada!”

Katsuki’s eyes widened. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

He scooped up the toddler in his arms. “Don’t be. He came up with it on his own.” Nika nuzzled his neck.

The Omega seemed at a loss for words in regards to the situation. “How do you feel about the name?”

Yuri walked over the kitchen island with the toddler. “I don’t care. I figured you’d have more of an opinion than me.”

“I’ll talk it over with Viktor, but I’m all right with it. You are part of our family.” 

He knew that much was true. Yuri just didn’t fully understand how he fit into the family. Viktor and Katsuki had extended a couple of invitations over, but he was focused on training.

_I don’t want to be an afterthought._

They made their way to the studio. Nika did his best to imitate all their dance moves. He was giggling at each attempt, even when he failed. If Lilia occasionally smiled, no one said a word.

She kept the practice short today, knowing that there was more to this visit than just exercise.

“I’ll leave you alone.” 

They made their way back to Yuri’s room. They took showers separately before curling up on his bed. Nika took a spot on his chest.

“Yura,” the Omega said.

“Yes?”

“I want to go back to Hasetsu.”

He wanted to roll his eyes. Of course he would. That’s where his family was. “Well, yeah. I figured you would eventually.”

“Viktor and I are looking at making it our permanent home.”

His heart clenched. 

_There’s no room for me._

“Viktor is going to retire soon. He wants to coach. But there’s not many students in Hasetsu,” Katsuki continued. “I want to coach too. I don’t know if I’d be any good at it, but I like the idea of figure skating still being part of my life. Returning as a competitor is out of the question.”

They had talked about this before. Katsuki already planned to retire in a couple of years before being kidnapped.

“I don’t want to just coach anyone though. I want to coach you.”

He turned to look at the Omega. Yuri could see the sincerity in the other’s eyes. “You want to coach me?” 

“I know you’re just getting back into training, but I’m not looking at the technical aspect. You have several stories to tell and I want to help bring that out.” 

Yuri didn’t know how to feel.

“Come to Hasetsu. Train with me. Train with Viktor. Please remain part of our family.”

“I’ll think about it,” he answered honestly.

Katsuki smiled. “That’s all I ask.”

The other began to fall asleep. Yuri didn’t. His mind ran a mile a minute processing the offer Katsuki had made.

He wasn’t an afterthought.

He was Katsuki’s priority professionally.

 

-Viktor-

 

He went to the rink on his day off. Viktor struggled with the idea of phrasing the upcoming conversation with Yakov. The older coach was shouting instructions to younger students. 

 _Same old Yakov._  

Viktor made his way to the older man. 

“Vitya, what are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you.”

Yakov scowled. “I’m busy.”

“It’s important.”

The older man scrutinized his face before letting out a heavy sigh. “Go wait in my office. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Viktor walked toward the familiar room. He had been in the office over a thousand times during the course of his career. It hadn’t changed much over the years. The biggest changes came in the form of technology, mainly. A modern computer sat upon a solid oak desk that was built before he was even alive. 

Papers were still scattered across the surface in what Yakov called “organized chaos.” When his Yuuri first saw the office, Viktor could feel how much his fiancé wanted to fix the mess. But his coach was quick to ensure that wouldn’t happen. 

Next to the computer was a group photo of some of Yakov’s students. It was taken after he and Yuuri made their permanent move to Saint Petersburg. He picked up the picture to look at it closer. A smile spread across his face. This was their first practice together.

He remembered how anxious Yuuri had been to work in the same space as Yakov. When the older man shouted a correction toward his fiancé’s direction, it was automatically fixed. He was fairly certain t hat his coach nearly had a heart attack at having someone who actually listened to him. 

Viktor chuckled. When they got off the ice, Yuuri commented that Yakov wasn’t as scary as he had originally thought. Whenever he was unable to come to the rink for varying appearances, his coach “begrudgingly” took on his fiancé for the day. 

After examining the smiles in the photo, he set the frame back down. His eyes swept over the scattered papers. A lump underneath a thin stack caught his eye. It wasn’t natural. Round and small. Unable to help himself, Viktor lifted the documents regarding his training. A glint of gold caught his eye. 

With a frown, he pulled the paper up further and found a gold ring. Smaller than what would fit around the older man’s fingers. Viktor picked it up.

He knew this ring.

The weight familiar and size similar to the one on his own finger. He looked on the inside of the band. Half a snowflake inscribed with “Stay Close to Me” written across from it. 

His breath caught in his throat. How? Why?

The door to the office opened and Yakov walked inside.

“All right, let’s get this over with, Vitya.” 

He looked up, still holding on to the ring. His body shaking. Yakov turned around and took in the scene. Eyes widened in surprise. 

“Vitya—” his coach began.

“Yakov, why do you have Yuuri’s engagement ring?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me your thoughts.
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	34. Chapter Thirty-Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention last chapter that the human trafficking statistics in the last chapter are a rough estimate by the U.S.. According to the site I used to research those statistics, Russia does not keep track of human trafficking in their country and many resources for human trafficking victims have lost funding over the years and thus shut down. 
> 
> Anyway. Here's Yakov's explanation.
> 
> *One Star Warnings* due to past mention of human trafficking and the like.

-*Yakov*-

 

_“Why do you have Yuuri’s engagement ring?”_

It was a simple question with no easy answer. Yakov had several options. None of them worked out in his favor, but he had accepted that a long time ago. Right now, he just needed the other to hear him out. How could he begin to explain what had happened? 

“Vitya,” he began. The other visibly flinched at his use of the diminutive—despite him having used it for years. This wasn’t going to be easy.

Not that he had expected it to be when the day finally came. Yakov had hoped for more time to find the right words. The words that he desperately needed before Viktor left with his own conclusions. 

“You and your Yuuri are still in danger here,” Yakov said. The focus needed to be on them, not himself. “The Federation didn’t take kindly to you taking a year off after pouring a small fortune into your career. They retaliated.”

“And you just let them?” Viktor snapped.

“No, I didn’t. But you know how much power I actually have.” Viktor hadn’t left the room yet. He still had a chance. “I tried to warn you ahead of time that it wouldn’t be a good idea.”

_“Personally, I doubt he’ll be able to return if he takes a break now. That man only thinks of himself!”_

“But you came back,” Yakov continued. “I couldn’t warn you directly. They were watching your every moment.”

The other clenched his fist. “Why Yurio?”

“To make a statement and teach him some discipline.”

“Did you know where they were this entire time?” A pause. Viktor raised his voice again, “Yakov, did you know?”

“Yes.”

 

-*Viktor*-

 

That simple word left him breathless. Yakov had known. He had played a part in this. His coach, friend, and father-figure destroyed his happiness. His life. Had robbed him of knowing his son and played a hand in sealing the fate in the death of his other son too. And Yuuri…

_We’re in danger._

“Your Yuuri wasn’t supposed to make it out alive. Yura would’ve been returned after he passed.”

Viktor felt tears sting his eyes. “What?” It was getting harder to breathe.

“I didn’t know he was pregnant. If I had known…I would have tried to get them to wait at the very least. The Federation wasn’t going to change their mind about the plan.”

It was too much. He had trusted his entire life to this man—and by extension, his Yuuri’s life too. Viktor was the one to convince his fiancé to move here.

_I helped kill my son._

The tears flowed freely now. Yakov continued speaking, but his mind raced, trying to figure out his next step. They had to leave. The Federation wouldn’t let him retire. They would take away his Yuuri and child again.

“I have a way to get you and your family out of Russia. Just give me a couple more days,” Yakov said.

He looked between his coach and the ring. “I can’t afford to stay. We need to leave today.” 

“Vitya!” Yakov protested.

“Do what you want, but I’m doing what’s best for my family.” 

Without another word, he walked out of his coach’s office and the rink he had spent most of his childhood in. Viktor didn’t waste any time in rushing to Lilia’s where his family would be. It would be easier if they left from her mansion directly.

The border to Finland was about two and a half hours away from Saint Petersburg. It would be easier to escape the country that way than through a flight at the  airport. Once across the border, they would make their way to Helsinki and catch a flight to Tokyo.

A five hour car trip total to Helsinki.

Viktor clenched the steering wheel tightly. Knuckles turning white as his mind raced through all the revelations.

 _Yakov knew_. 

He blinked back a fresh batch of tears. A few deep breaths later, he felt composed enough to go to Lilia’s. She greeted him at the door.

Viktor thanked her before going to knock on Yurio’s door. The teenaged Alpha greeted him, grumbling about how he was late.

“I’m sorry.” He tried to laugh it off, but it was hallow even to him. 

“What the hell is your problem, old man?” Yurio grumbled.

“Viktor?” came Yuuri’s soft voice. His fiancé emerged from the bathroom, holding their son. A fresh set of clothes on the toddler. Instant relief washed over him.

“We have to leave, Yuuri.”

His fiancé eyed him, frowning. “Viktor, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. We have to go. _Now_.” 

Yuuri shook his head. “Communicate with me. Something has you shaken, I want to know.”

He bit his lip. They had made good progress lately. Viktor had no right to take his fiancé to another country without telling him. He didn't need to tell everything right now. They needed to hurry.

“We’re in danger here. Yakov…he—” Viktor couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Yuuri walked over to him and touched his face gently. The innocent contact brought reassurance. This was the right thing to do. He took a deep breath. “He played a part in your disappearance and Yurio’s.”

Brown eyes widened in surprise. “What?” The question was barely a whisper.

Viktor shakily reached in his pocket and pulled out Yuuri’s engagement ring. The reaction was immediate. 

“I never thought I’d see it again,” Yuuri breathed. “It won’t fit now.” They both knew why. “We have to get out of the country.”

“That’s why I want us to go now.”

“Take Yuri with you.” They snapped their heads in the direction of the bedroom entrance. Lilia stood there, watching them. “If Yakov and the Federation have done what you said, then he isn’t safe either.” 

“You can’t make that decision for me!” Yurio protested.

She threw the teenager a sharp glance. “No, but you need to go too.”

“I can’t. My grandpa…”

“I’ll make sure he’s taken care of, Yuri. He is not your only family now.”

“Please, Yura. Please leave with us,” his fiancé begged. “I don’t want you to get hurt again. They will take it out on you.”

The other looked conflicted. “Fine.”

“I’ll help him pack. Return in an hour,” Lilia ordered.

Viktor nodded. He left the mansion with his family. They had a few items to pick up before leaving Russia forever.

 

-Yuri-

 

“What the hell, Lilia?” he snapped. The others had left.

“Yuri Plisetsky,” she said. He froze. Anger still bubbling, but knew that she wanted him to listen. His mind still tried to process everything Viktor had revealed. “Do you still want to skate?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then you need to leave.” 

His eyes widened at her decisiveness. Didn’t she care for him? “Why?” His voice came out softer than intended. 

“If even a fraction of what Viktor says is true, if the Federation played a part in your disappearance, they _will_ do it again. I don’t want that for you.”

The last sentence was tender, softer than he had ever heard her speak. Lilia always spoke with firmness rather than gentleness. Yuri _understood_. 

“Okay,” he said. “You’ll really take care of my grandpa?” 

She nodded. “I always keep my promises.”

The two of them set to pack what little belongings he had. Anticipation building every minute that passed.

He was going to start a new life with his family. That idea alone allowed for excitement to grow. 

They just had to get out of the country first.

 

-Yuuri-

 

They returned to their apartment in silence. Right now, words were not needed. All that mattered was that they made it across the border. Eventually, he would ask for more details. However, his mind was focused on what items they could take with them.

He knew a flight would be involved eventually. So the goal was to pack light for both him and Nika. Just the basics.

They walked calmly up the stairs. No need to alarm people about their next move. Yuuri had a feeling they were being watched. Once the door was shut, both of them sprung into action.

Nika was placed on the living room floor and given a toy to distract him while they packed. Yuuri grabbed the passports he had tucked away and stuffed them in his duffle immediately.

In the bag, more items belonging to Nika were thrown in. Yuuri had very few clothes that fit him. He took his favorites from his old wardrobe—slowly making peace with the idea that he would never see them again. 

He noticed Viktor placing their _Stammi Vicino_ skating costumes in a suit bag. 

“We don’t need those,” he protested.

“Trust me, Yuuri.”

He decided that it was easier to let it go. Yuuri double-checked everything in his bag. Something was missing, but he couldn’t figure out what.

“Ah!”

He walked to the closet and pulled out a shopping bag containing the _Loved_ onesie. Tags still on it. It remained untouched from when he had purchased it. Yuuri held it close to him before carefully placing it in his bag.

“We have to go or we’ll be late in picking up Yurio.”

The three of them made their way out of the apartment with their few belongings. Nika babbled at them, clutching the stuffed poodle tightly. Their son had no idea what was about to happen. That they would be leaving this country forever. 

As they headed back to Lilia’s, Yuuri thought back to when he first came. This is where he and Viktor had planed to build their lives together. They had wanted to raise a family.

What they had wanted was never meant to be. 

Had they missed all the signs before? Yuuri didn’t know for sure. Not knowing hurt just as much as what had actually happened.

They arrived right on time to pick Yura up from Lilia’s. The two were waiting by the door when he knocked. Viktor wanted to keep the car running. Neither of them spoke any more of the encounter with Yakov. 

Now was not the time.

“Are you ready?” he asked gently. The teenaged Alpha shrugged and made motion to pick up his cat carrier.

“Yuri Plisetsky.” The other froze and turned toward Lilia. “May I hug you?”

Her question lost its harsh tone. Yura nodded. They embraced. She wrapped her arms around him and whispered in his ear. “You are strong. You will come back. I will take care of your grandpa, I promise.”

“Thank you for everything, Lilia.” 

They pulled away from one another. Yura readjusted the bag on his shoulder and grabbed his cat carrier before walking out to the car. Lilia caught his gaze.

“Take care of him.”

“We will, I promise.”

She nodded. He followed Yura’s path to the car, but got in the passenger seat. Lilia waved them off.

With their family complete, they began their first part of their journey to leave Russia behind forever.

 

-Yakov-

 

He sat in his office, pressing confirmation that he wanted to transfer funds to another account. Yakov knew time was running out. Once the “Transaction Completed” screen popped up, he logged out.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips. His phone buzzed. Looking down, he saw Lilia calling him. He put the phone on silent.

Another buzz.

She texted him this time. 

_Received: Viktor stopped by. What did you do?_

He ignored the message.

The door to his office burst open. Two members from the Federation walked in along with three police officers. He remained seated.

“Yakov Feltsman,” one of the Federation members began. The woman’s sickly sweet voice a dead giveaway as to what was about to happen. “We heard that you orchestrated the disappearance of Yuri Plisetsky. Is that true?”

He glared at them. They were making him the fall guy. Yakov would take it for now. “No comment.”

“And what of Yuuri Katsuki?”

“No comment.”

One of the officers spoke this time, “Sir, we have an official warrant for your arrest. Are you going to come peacefully or will we need force?”

He stood and turned around. The cuffs were placed around his wrists roughly. The officers began to escort him out of his office. Yakov caught the smug look on the faces of the Federation members.

_Enjoy your small victory for now._

Once outside the doors of the rink he had worked at for decades, media swarmed him. The officers paraded him through the crowd. A flurry of questions were asked. Yakov answered none of them.

He hoped that his arrest would give Vitya and his family enough time to escape the country. 

_You deserve happiness after everything we did, Vitya._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	35. Chapter Thirty-Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath continues.
> 
> ***Three star warnings*** This chapter has two of them. In the three star warnings, Yuuri has thoughts similar to how everyone will be better off without him. This is not intended to be perceived as a suicidal thought. This is is intended to be about him thinking of moving away from Viktor, Nika, and Yuri because he blames himself for what happened.
> 
> In addition, there's mentions of a panic/anxiety attacks. This is a theme throughout the chapter. The one stars will briefly mention it, but nothing descriptive. The two and three stars will deal with it in a little more detail.
> 
> **Two star warning** Viktor talks a little about what happened to his family.
> 
> Other notes: I took huge liberties in certain parts of this chapter. So sorry if none of it is accurate. I did as much research as I could, but it is what it is.

**_Yakov Feltsman: The Mastermind Behind Yuri Plisetsky and Yuuri Katsuki’s Disappearances_ **

1:30 p.m., Saint Petersburg

Time was running out.

He knew that they would eventually come for him.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that they were going to pin the blame on him.

So he would play the part—on the surface.

The Federation had dug themselves in too deep.

Bit off more than they could chew.

They needed a scapegoat.

He was the perfect fit.

Yakov sent the files to trusted sources.

The world deserved to know the truth.

Verification would take days.

He could wait that long.

After everything, he deserved to shoulder the burden for a little while.

Once the first step was completed, he moved on to the next.

Yakov opened several bank accounts.

None of them in his own name.

Two of them Russian.

Two of them Swedish.

He transferred funds from the Russian ones to the Swedish accounts.

One for Viktor, one for Yuri.

Success.

With everything signed out, all that was left to do was wait for them to come.

 

**_How “The Golden Coach” Destroyed Russia’s Relationship with Japan_ **

2:00 p.m., 40 Minutes Outside of Saint Petersburg

Viktor’s grip on the wheel remained tight.

His mind still processing earlier in the afternoon while his instincts continued to go wild.

All he wanted to do was protect his family.

Instead, he had placed them in more danger.

That’s why they had to escape.

They wouldn’t be safe until they were out of the country.

Even then, their plan might not work.

Their flight could hit a snag at the border.

None of them had appropriate travel visas.

He didn’t dare voice that fear out loud.

Not with so much fear hanging in the air already.

Viktor would keep his mouth shut.

And pray for their safety.

 

**_The Fall of Yakov Feltsman: Greed, Corruption, and Deceit_ **

2:53 p.m., Saint Petersburg

They paraded him outside of his rink.

The one he had made famous.

Yakov didn’t try to hide his face.

Instead, he continued to look ahead.

He would let them relish in their victory.

It would be short-lived, he made sure of that.

The truth would come to light and everything would change.

He would gladly serve time for his part.

They wouldn’t get away with everything that they had done though.

The media tried to solicit a comment.

No answer.

State media would report it however they wanted to anyway.

Cameras were shoved in his face, along with microphones.

They wouldn’t break his resolve.

 

***

**_Chasing Gold: How Yakov Feltsman’s Thirst for Perfection Led to His Downfall_ **

3:17 p.m., One Hour, 44 Minutes Outside of Saint Petersburg

Everything hit at once.

His anxiety.

Guilt.

Anger.

Loss.

The memories.

Yuuri could recall that moment clearly now.

The moment when his ring was violently taken off his hand.

Yakov’s gruffy voice saying he’d hold on to it.

Asking that they didn’t hurt Yura’s legs.

He was stupid not to piece it together earlier.

Tears filled his eyes.

If he had figured out sooner why he had been so afraid.

They wouldn’t be making a last-minute escape.

It was his fault.

Like everything else that had happened.

Yuuri was the reason for everyone else’s unhappiness.

 ***

 

**_Tainting Viktor Nikiforov’s Career: How Yakov Feltsman’s Selfish Decision Impacts a Legacy_ **

3:35 p.m., Saint Petersburg

Even outside the police station, there was no peace.

The media kept up with them every step of the way.

Officers made a show of booking him.

Just to satisfy the presses.

Once the hoards had cleared out, they stuck him in a room.

In prison garb and handcuffs.

Yakov waited for their return.

When they did, the Federation was with them.

He wasn’t expecting that.

“You didn’t reveal anything to Mr. Nikiforov, did you?”

His mouth remained shut.

Every minute he didn’t speak, the more time they would have to get away.

“Feltsman, there’s no use on pretending you don’t know anything.”

He wasn’t going to pretend.

Yakov just wanted to buy enough time.

They studied his face, searching.

“Put a travel advisory out for Mr. Nikiforov at all airports.”

If he had to guess, his greatest success wouldn’t take a plane.

_Waste your time, bitch._

 

**_Yakov Feltsman’s Arrest: What We Know, What We Don’t_ **

3:57 p.m., Two Hours, 26 Minutes Outside Saint Petersburg

He could feel the overwhelming distress through the bond.

It hurt.

There wasn’t anything they could do about it.

Not now.

Not when they were so close to the border.

After they were safe, they could pull over.

They could give Katsuki the help he needed.

The anguish grew with each passing minute.

Yura wanted to comfort.

He wouldn’t risk a damn Alpha fight though.

The signs for the border was so close.

And hopefully their freedom was too.

 

-Viktor-

 

He could see the gates to the border now. The line was long, giving him time to craft a note. He wrote it out in bold letters, all caps, and in English before stuffing it inside his passport. Viktor hoped and pray that it would be a Finnish border patrol agent they saw first.

Right now, he had no way of knowing if they had put out an advisory for him, his family, or Yurio.

All the years of luck being on his side, he hoped that it would come through one more time.

Viktor glanced at his fiancé in the passenger seat. Yuuri had gone into distress almost an hour ago, but they couldn’t stop. Every second counted until they were across the border.

The line moved. They were next.

His heart pounded loudly in his chest. What if it didn’t work? What if they couldn’t leave?

How would the government retaliate then?

It looked as though the Russian border agents were about to wrap up with their check.

_Please, god, no._

Then, they discovered an item in the car that gave them pause. By then, the Finnish border agent was free. Viktor pulled forward, window rolled down. He offered them their passports. His was on top.

The note was placed where the visa stamp would be.

**_We are fleeing from the Russian Government._ **

Simple.

Hopefully effective.

The agent went through all the passports and handed them back. His heart sank.

Every passing second was one less chance to escape.

They leaned in close and pulled out a map, circling it with a black marker. “Go here. Quickly.”

With those instructions, the border agent pulled away and waved them through. Viktor rolled up his window and drove off. His hands shook. They were in Finland. They had made it across the border!

He pulled into the Finnish Consulate, not knowing that five minutes from then—a travel advisory would be issued at the border for him.

 

-***Yuri***-

 

They came to their first stop since the beginning of their journey. Outside of a non-descript building. Yuri didn’t know whether to feel relief quite yet.

“Yurio,” Viktor said gently. He met the old man’s gaze. “I’ll go inside with Nika. Stay here with Yuuri. Try to help him while I get started on sorting things out for us.”

He nodded. The older Alpha retrieved the toddler from the car seat in the back, leaving him alone with Katsuki. He took a few steadying breaths before getting out of his spot in the backseat and occupying the driver’s.

The Omega whimpered pathetically, curled up as small as he could make himself in the car. Yuri knew that it wouldn’t be easy. One of the best ways to deal with a problem was to confront it early on.

But the thoughts had festered.

Just like in the compound.

And he had to do his best to keep Katsuki from falling apart once again.

Another deep breath. This would be easier if he knew exactly what was bothering the other. “Katsuki,” he whispered. The Omega didn’t react. “Everything is okay. We’re safe now. We crossed the border. We’ll be back in Hasetsu soon.”

A stifled sob filled the small space of the car. Whatever was on the other’s mind wasn’t something simple. He had to prevent another drop from happening. The other was so close to slipping away. Yuri could feel it.

“We’re going to be fine,” he continued. “I bet your parents can’t wait to see Nika for the first time. They’re going to love him. How could anyone not? Your mom’s going to spoil us. Her cooking is awesome. I bet she’ll have katsudon waiting for us when we get home.”

“Off…me.” The words were muddled and quiet. But at least he got a reaction.

“Can you repeat that?”

A long pause. Shuddering breaths. Yuri waited. Knowing that the other needed time. He would give it. Just as always. “Better off without me.”

The words had barely sunk in when he heard the car door being slammed shut. Katsuki was running.

“Shit.”

He got out and followed. The scent of a distressed Omega stronger than ever. Yuri could feel the agony through the bond. His heart ached and mind repeated the four words Katsuki had spoken just a few moments earlier.

The other wasn’t paying attention to where they were and was heading straight for the road, one that still saw cars traveling in both directions.

“Katsuki, stop!” he yelled.

The other froze instantly. Yuri had sworn to never use Alpha commands. He wasn’t that type of person. Never wanted to be.

It was the only thing he could do to stop Katsuki—even temporarily.

He reached the spot where the Omega was standing. Eyes unfocused. Whimpers largely drowned by the passing cars. Tears spilling down the other’s cheeks. Yuri pulled him away from the road. They crumbled to the ground.

Katsuki nosed his scent gland, breathing in the scent. The other trembled in his arms. Yuri hugged the other close and rocked gently. His own tears forming.

“We’re not better off without you. We never will be. If you left, we won’t make it. We need you,” he whispered. He hoped that Katsuki could hear him over the lies filling the other’s mind.

 

-*Viktor*-

 

Walking into the Consulate, he didn’t know what to expect. Viktor had never imagine himself in this type of situation. Then again, the future he envisioned over two years ago didn’t include his fiancé being kidnapped because he took a break.

Nika squirmed in his arms, awake after sleeping for most of the first leg of the trip.

“Mister Nikiforov,” a woman greeted. He took in her appearance. A Beta, brown hair in a bun and a wrinkle-free pantsuit. “The border called ahead and informed me you would be arriving soon. Would you like anything to drink?”

He shook his head. “Maybe some water for my son.”

“Of course. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable in my office and I’ll be right back.”

Viktor took a chair, bouncing Nika slightly in his lap. The toddler clutched his shirt tightly. He could sense the unease from his son. It didn’t help that he felt the same. There was a good chance that they would be sent back over the border.

Back to a country that would retaliate even worse after they found out about his escape attempt. The woman came back and closed the door behind her. She handed him a paper cup of water.

He gave Nika a few sips from it before his son showed no further interest in the beverage. “May I put him down?” Viktor asked.

“Of course.”

Once Nika’s feet hit the ground, he wasted no time exploring the office. The toddler was careful not to touch anything, just inspected the space.

“He’s very well behaved.”

Viktor felt tears sting his eyes. “His mama taught him well.”

“The border agent mentioned something about you running away from the Russian government. There are circumstances where we can grant temporary visas under certain situations. We’ll get to that in a moment. First, I need to know who all you’re traveling with.”

“My son, fiancé Yuuri Katsuki, and…” He paused to think about how to classify Yurio. “Our unofficially adopted son, Yuri Plisetsky.”

She nodded. “I’ve heard stories of their disappearance and some of their recovery.”

“It’s been hard,” he confessed. “We’ve been through so much. I never thought I’d see my fiancé again. I never knew I had a son until a few months ago.”

This time, the tears didn’t stop from falling. Nika turned and walked toward him, hugging his leg. “Papa.”

“I’m okay,” he reassured. Viktor ran a hand through the soft locks of hair belonging to their son. “I found out a few hours ago that my coach had a hand in both my fiancé’s disappearance and Yuri Plisetsky’s too. And it was all organized by the Russian Figure Skating Federation. All because I took a year off after finding my soulmate.”

“I’m sorry,” the other whispered. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

He looked at her. She wasn’t just saying that. He could tell that she felt his pain too. “I just want my family safe.”

She nodded. “We can grant you an emergency travel visa. What is your final destination?”

“Japan. We’re going back to my fiancé’s hometown.”

“I can get in touch with the Consulate in Tokyo and see about granting you and Yuri Plisetsky asylum—even temporarily.” She began typing in her computer. “As for here, there are three flights from Helsinki to Tokyo tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, I can’t grant more than a two day emergency travel visa or I’d look later than that.”

“The earlier the better. We plan to travel to Helsinki tonight. We can stay in a hotel until our flight.”

She placed the stamps in their passports. “Good luck in Japan, Mister Nikiforov. I hope it has happier memories for you and your family.”

He nodded. “I hope so too. Thank you so much.”

With that, he gathered Nika and headed back to the car. When he went to put his son in the car seat, he noticed that both Yurio and his fiancé were absent.

Panic set in.

_Where did you two go?_

 

-*Yuri*-

 

He didn’t know how long they were on the ground. The trembling had eventually stopped. However, the tears were still flowing. Yuri kept repeating the same words from earlier, hoping that eventually Katsuki would believe him.

That it would override what was going on in the other’s mind.

Eventually, Katsuki pulled away. Eyes more focused, but he could tell that the other was still one step away from breaking down again.

“We should head back.”

“Okay,” he whispered. They got off the ground and began to walk back toward the car. They didn’t say anything to each other. He _knew_ that pressing would cause another breakdown. It wasn’t fair that they had to put aside their struggles just so they could feel safe again.

That they even had the horrors and memories to begin with. It shouldn’t have happened.

“Katuski,” he said quietly.

“What is it, Yura?”

“When I make my comeback, I won’t skate for Russia.”

A brief moment of silence. “We’ll work it out when we get to Japan. I know how much skating means to you.”

“It means a lot to you too.”

“My career is over.”

“Not as my coach. That’s just beginning.”

Katsuki laughed. “What makes you so confident that I want to be your coach?”

“The same reason I’m not going to let this setback keep me from skating professionally.”

“What’s that reason?”

“Revenge.”

He glanced at the Omega, happy to see the small smile on the other’s lips. “All right. I’ll be your coach.”

“I’ll make you proud.”

“Yura, I’m already proud of you.”

When they reached the car, their smiles dissipated after noticing how distressed Viktor was.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

The older Alpha jumped. “Oh thank god. I didn’t know where you had gone.”

“We just took a walk. We’re fine,” Yuri answered. He’d keep what really happened to himself. At least for now.

“I have our emergency visas. We’re going to Helsinki tonight and fly out to Japan tomorrow.”

“We’re going to Japan,” Katsuki whispered.

“We’re going home,” Viktor reaffirmed.

Home.

For some reason, thinking of Japan as home didn’t scare him like it did earlier.

The idea finally felt right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Hasetsu.
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	36. Chapter Thirty-Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support. I appreciate each and every one of you.
> 
> *One Star Warning* Very mild panic attack. Not descriptive. Everyone's on edge for this entire chapter, but this is kind of the peak so I wanted to give you all at least a warning.

-Viktor-

 

He couldn’t sleep for the entire nine and a half hour flight from Helsinki to Tokyo. Even in the air, he didn’t feel safe. It wasn’t until the wheels touched the runway that some of the anxiousness melted away. Yuuri had curled up in the chair, clinging to their son before falling asleep. Viktor smiled at the sweet scene.

Waking them up would be a tragedy, but he had to. “Yuuri, love, please wake up. We’re in Tokyo.”

His fiancé blinked awake slowly. Sleep had not come easy for any of them the past few days—least of all Viktor. 

They got off the plane and went through customs. A member of the Embassy met them there to discuss matters further.

“We’ve been contacted by Finland’s Consulate so we have an idea of what is going on, but we would like to hear it from you.”

Viktor launched into the explanation all over again, noticing how Yuuri flinched at the mentions of his disappearance. No one could hurt his fiancé again though.

“Well, if you and Mister Katsuki got married now, you would gain citizenship. As for Mister Plisetsky, we could give him asylum until you formally adopt him after your marriage. Of course, you’d have to give up your Russian citizenship.”

Marriage. His heart pounded at that word.

Of course he wanted to marry Yuuri. But now? They weren’t ready.

“What if we don’t want to get married right away?” he asked, hoping the answer wouldn’t be complete rejection.

“We could grant you both asylum and you two work toward a citizenship. That could take years and money, of course.”

He looked at the others for help in making this decision.

“I don’t care,” Yuri said. “Whatever path will allow me to compete again for this season.”

“You wish to skate for Japan?”

Yuri glared at the person siting across from them. “I’m not going to let the last gold medal I won be for a country that sold me into slavery.”

“I want to skate as well,” Viktor said. “For Japan. It will likely be my last season, but I don’t want my career to end with Russia.”

He looked at Yuuri, wondering what the other would say.

 

-Yuuri-

 

He bit his lip. He understood why Viktor and Yuri didn’t want to skate for Russia. The only way for them to compete again would be to get married and start the adoption process in the airport. His heart pounded.

Of course, he wanted to marry Viktor. He wanted Yura to know that he had a family. It was too soon.

They didn’t even have a home. They hadn’t talked about any of this. “Could you give us a few minutes to discuss this?” he asked quietly.

“Sure, we’ll come back in ten.”

They left them alone in the room. “Are you really considering getting married here? Now?” he whispered.

“Yes,” Viktor answered. “I know it’s not the ideal timing. We can keep it between us for now. When we’re ready for a ceremony that’s not out of desperation, then we can have a formal wedding.”

Yuuri nodded, hoping Viktor understood that he was at least considering the idea. “Yura, are you sure you want to be adopted?” 

The teen glared at him. “I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me who my family is. This is just formality. Like you two getting married. It’s going to happen. Eventually. It’s speeding up the process, but if we can survive that hellhole, you can survive marriage and having me as a son.” 

He laughed at that. “Okay. Okay. I know how much competing means to both of you. I just wanted you both to make sure you were comfortable with the idea.”

“What about you, love?” Viktor asked. “You are part of this decision too.” 

Yuuri thought the pros and cons through. He knew all their dreams were depending on him. To get married here. Now. Just off the plane and after an emotional couple of days. He didn’t want to rush into it. “I want all of it, I really do. I just…need more time. I don’t want to get married here. I know your careers are important. But please give me a few more days?” 

He briefly looked up at them, hoping they’d understand. Yuuri expected disappointment. Feared they would hate him. He held their entire careers in his hand and he pushed it back.

It took him by surprise that he found nothing of the sort on their faces. “We know you want this. You can take all the time you need.”

Relief flooded his body. He knew how important this was. But so was marriage and adopting a son. Yuuri wanted both, but now was not the time. Their journey had taken a toll on all of them.

“Until then,” Yuuri whispered, “we’ll train and get you ready for competitions. I’m sure Yuuko and Takeshi won’t mind.”

“My programs are ready to go,” Viktor said. “We’ll work on Yurio’s training together.” 

“Don’t I get a say in this?” the teenaged Alpha snapped.

Yuuri gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry for excluding you. Will you accept Viktor and I as your coaches?”

The other scoffed. “Fine. As long as Katsuki does the choreography for my free program. Lilia already gave me the short. We just have to refine it with jumps. I guess the old man will have to help with that.” 

He nodded. “Okay. We’ll make it work. We’ll have to pick your music for your free program soon though.” 

The representative came back, asking their decision. 

“We’re going to wait on getting married and starting the adoption process,” Viktor answered. “What if we change our mind?”

“You can get married at any time. You’ll just need to provide them with your passport and a few other documents in order to process it. You’ll also be able to start the adoption process with a representative in Hasetsu as well. I can go ahead and alert them of the potential plan ahead of time. I will also contact the JSF and see if there is any way you can skate for our country until you make your decision.” 

Yuuri knew that they wouldn’t be able to. Not in international competitions. Domestic competitions would be a different matter. Viktor didn’t have much time left in his career. He didn’t know how much training Yura would need to get him ready for a comeback. 

“How long would the adoption process take?” he asked. 

“Depends. Since all parties are willing, it would come down to meeting with a judge a couple of times. Once to begin the formal process and once to finalize the process. That could take about three to six weeks.”

Six weeks.

It’d put them around the time qualifiers would start. That meant he’d have to make a decision by Monday at the latest. 

Four days. He had four days to make two of the biggest decisions of his life. Marrying Viktor and adopting Yura.

“Okay.”

The agent pushed through the paperwork to grant both Viktor and Yura asylum. They collected their items and waited for their flight to Fukuoda. The exhaustion from the flight had melted away. 

Now Yuuri buzzed with nervous energy. His brain continued to turn over the idea of marrying Viktor and officially calling Yura his son. He knew that they would wait if he asked, but would feel guilty if he was the reason they were held back from their careers.

He pulled out his phone and turned it on. He texted his family that they had arrived in Japan. Contacting them had been an afterthought in their escape. In fact, none of them used their phones until they were safely across the border. When they arrived in Helsinki, it was only after another breakdown that he thought to call them.

Yuuri felt terrible. They told him they were always welcome. He left out many of the details. One day, he would have to tell them. Right now, he just wanted to feel safe. 

“What on earth?” he heard Viktor mutter. His fiancé had also pulled out his phone.

“What is it?” 

“Yakov sent me something.”

He frowned. “What?” 

“It’s encrypted.” It didn’t make sense.

“I got an encrypted message too,” Yura said.

He bit his lip. What was going on?

 

\--

 

**Systematic Corruption: The Real Yakov Feltsman Story (Pt. One)**

By Morooka Hisashi

_The Figure Skating world was rocked when Russia’s famed coach, Yakov Feltsman, was arrested. Feltsman is the long-time coach of Russia’s National Hero, Viktor Nikiforov. Their successful partnership has led to a historical and unprecedented gold streak for the country. Even among the batch of new talent, Feltsman and Nikiforov adapted and adjusted to continue winning gold._

_No competition seemingly came close to the talent until the arrival of Yuri Plisetsky and Katsuki Yuuri. Nikiforov shocked the world by taking a year off to coach Katsuki and led him to silver in the Grand Prix Final in Barcelona. It also led to a gold medal at Japan’s Nationals, Four Continents, and Worlds that year. After Worlds, it was announced that Katsuki would be moving to Saint Petersburg to train with Nikiforov full-time. We all know how the story goes after that._

_Katsuki and Plisetsky were taken off the streets and disappeared for two years. No one knew where they were. Rumors spread that they had been forced into slavery or killed. The two resurfaced earlier this year. Since then, only bits and pieces of their stories have come out. Each new detail more horrifying than the last. Many questions still remain. Including how much the Russian Government knew about their disappearances. The truth is harder to process than anyone could imagine._

_Before Feltsman’s arrest, he passed along incriminating documents and emails regarding the two’s disappearance. The plan to make Katsuki disappear developed early on in the Katsuki-Nikiforov partnership. The Russian Figure Skating Federation (RFKK) asked the government about killing Nikiforov’s career the moment it was announced he would be taking that season off to coach Katsuki._

_An unnamed official replied with “Let’s wait and see.”_

_After Cup of China, where Nikiforov and Katsuki shared a public kiss on the ice, the RFKK once again contacted the government regarding the “Nikiforov Problem.” That began the motion that their top skater needed to be reminded who made his a success. Depending on the results after the Short Program in Rostelecom, the RFKK had a plan to throw off Katsuki’s Free Program, which Feltsman was to initiate._

_That plan never came to fruition as Nikiforov had to return to Japan after his dog was hospitalized. The Grand Prix Final in Barcelona ended with Katsuki winning silver and Plisetsky taking home gold. Nikiforov announced his intent to return to competition. That presented a whole new problem for the RFKK. Ushering in an era of two champions was ideal, but Nikiforov was still bankable, marketable, and the one they had poured the most resources to. Plisetsky had potential, yes. But he wasn’t the face of Russian Figure Skating. Thus began the plot to sideline Plisetsky too._

**_To be continued in part two._ **

 

-Viktor-

 

When he turned on his phone, the last thing he expected was to see a message from Yakov. When they started their partnership years ago, his coach insisted that they have a way to communicate outside of their official federation emails. This led to an account on a private server with encryption protection. They had settled on a list of passwords before training for the new season started.

Every couple of weeks, it would change. He punched it in and sucked in a deep breath with what was in the file.

“Viktor?” His eyes scanned the file several times, letting it sink in. He followed the instructions, typing in a website for a foreign bank. Then, plugging in the username and password.

“When did he?” he whispered. Viktor didn’t know what to feel. Didn’t know how to process the new information before him.

“Oi, old man, Yakov’s email says to ask you for the password,” Yurio grumbled.

He took the other’s phone and typed in the same one he had just used. It opened up a similar file. The teen followed the same directions as he. 

“What the hell?” Yurio hissed.

“What is it?” Yuuri asked. A tint of panic in his voice. 

“Yakov,” Viktor breathed. “He moved all of our money to a foreign account. Everything we earned while skating for Russia. He said that he’s sorry and it was all he could do to help us.”

Silence fell over them. Viktor was angry at Yakov. Angry that he knew all this time what had happened to Yuuri and Yurio. Angry that his coach had helped orchestrate the whole thing, stole his fiancé’s career from him and robbed him of knowing his family. 

He felt a hand gently brush over his. Viktor grabbed it and looked at Yuuri. Concern evident in his eyes. “What’s going through your mind?” 

Viktor thought for a moment. “I’m angry for everything he’s done. Everything he had a hand it. I can’t forgive that. I don’t know what to make of this. He’s always acted like a father, making sure we were taken care of. This is him doing that again. It’s frustrating.” 

Yuuri squeezed his hand gently. “You can appreciate having access to your earnings without forgiving what he’s done.”

He sighed. “I know. I just…don’t think he realizes how much he really hurt us. Having money isn’t going to fix it—even if it makes the future easier.”

Now, they didn’t have to worry about the rest of their lives. They would be able to afford anything.

“It’s also a parting shot,” Yurio chimed in. “He knew that they’d seize our assets as their final move. He moved it so they couldn’t access it. Though my numbers don’t add up.” 

Viktor took the teen’s phone once again and looked at the numbers. Too much for someone who had just made their senior debut. He frowned and tried to think of what would cause the discrepancy. He noticed the deposits were monthly. The number stuck out to him. Why did it seem so familiar?

“He gave you his monthly salary,” he whispered. Viktor pulled out his calculator and crunched the numbers. “For two years.” 

“How did he survive?” Yurio hissed.

“His bills were paid for by the government,” Viktor answered. “The salary was more like a bonus.”

The call for their flight to board came over the speaker. Their short flight didn’t help him to process what Yakov had done or even how he felt about it. Viktor was grateful that he could take care of his family for the rest of his life.

No matter what would happen in the future.

 

-*Yuuri*-

 

During the remainder of their trip, no one mentioned Yakov again. His mind raced about the gesture. He didn’t want money from a government that sent him to _that place_. Yet, he couldn’t deny how much he appreciated not having to start from scratch in terms of finances.

He held Nika was they went through the gate at the train station. Posters from his glory days still littered one of the walls. All eyes were on them, he could feel it. His heart beat quickly. 

Many murmured. Yuuri _knew_ they were talking about them. About him. He didn’t know what type of news had reached his hometown. Panic bubbled as they made their way to the outside of the station. 

Minako was there to pick them up. Just as she was over two years ago. She didn’t smile. 

They stopped in front of her. Yuuri hung his head, not knowing what to expect.

“May I hug you?” she asked. He looked up at her and noticed her eyes were full of unshed tears. He nodded and adjusted Nika. Minako hugged him tightly. Her scent still calming after all this time. “I’m glad you’re here.” 

She pulled away and then looked at Nika. “This is your son?” He once again nodded. “He’s so cute!” She proceeded to make goofy faces at the toddler, who squealed in delight at the attention. 

Viktor set up car seat in the back while Yurio took care of the bags. Nika was growing restless and didn’t want to go into another seat. 

“It’s just for a little bit longer, I promise.” Yuuri fought to get him in the car seat, but was successful.

The ride to his family’s home was quiet and peaceful. His fingers tapped against his thigh, anxious to know what was going to happen. What would his family say when they saw him? Would they still love someone so damaged and broken? Would they love his son?

He tried not to think about it too much, but the thought surfaced whenever it could. As the familiar landscape came into view, his anxiety peaked. 

_I’m not ready._

“Yuuri, my love, breathe.”

It was then that he realized he was having a panic attack. Several deep breaths later, he felt significantly calmer. Still on edge, but calmer. The guilt of not seeing his family for years and then not being in contact much during his recovery ate at him as they unloaded the car.

Nika squirmed in his arms. Once they were inside, he’d set his son down. For now, he needed the toddler close. Minako opened the door and announced their arrival.

One moment, then two. The sounds of hurried footsteps came down the hall. His mother’s beaming face instantly calming him. “Welcome home!” 

She reached out to hug him. Her warmth and scent broke through all the guilt he had. Tears filled his eyes. “I’m home,” he cried. “I’m home.”

“You’re safe,” she whispered soothingly. “You’re safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a lot of research into the whole adoption and marriage stuff. The adoption process, I'm trying to keep as close to accurate as possible. Adult adoptions are common in Japan for male heirs. As for the marriage process, there's a few more steps involved than mentioned.
> 
> Next chapter: Settling in, Yuuri makes his decision.
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	37. Chapter Thirty-Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support! I hope you love this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!

**Systematic Corruption: The Real Yakov Feltsman Story (Pt. Two)**

By Morooka Hisashi

 

_Gold medals in figure skating have become synonymous with Russia these days. No one can deny how good their skaters are and it’s rare to see a podium makeup at international events without a Russian figure skater at the top. Feltsman reveals that this is due to their system more than anything. Children sign their lives away for success to their country. Successful skaters enjoy a long career and more money than they could possibly know what to do with._

_In return, the government and RFKK expect their skaters to mold and shift into certain public figures. Nikiforov easily fell into that category. Though rebellious in his programs at times, Russia’s National Hero became the perfect role model for everyone around the world. Even Katsuki looked up to the Russian skater for inspiration. The influence the country’s skaters have is undeniable._

_Thus began part two of the so-called “Plisetsky Problem.” The rising star wanted no part in conforming to the rules. The exhibition program after he won gold in the Grand Prix Final in Barcelona caused controversy amongst the RFKK. Discussions of how he should be punished varied widely. Eventually settling on letting the situation play out at Russia’s Nationals where Nikiforov was slated to make his return._

_Russian Nationals came without a surprise. Nikiforov easily defended his title, despite the valiant effort by Plisetsky. The rising star was an outspoken critic of the long-time champion and promised to “destroy him in the next competition.” In addition, Nikiforov began asking RFKK officials what steps would needed to allow Katsuki train in Saint Petersburg next season. Their problems only seemed to be multiplying._

_Officials had a list of suggestions, but the agreed upon plan ended up being that Plisetsky and Katsuki would disappear. They would be taken to a labor camp in Moscow and held for an indefinite amount of time. Feltsman chimed in that it would be a waste of his energy and resources to have Plisetsky unable to compete in the future. The RFKK agreed. They had spent the better part of the child’s life funding his career. It would be a waste all around._

_No such restrictions applied to Katsuki, who by Feltsman’s personal statement, was “not supposed to survive.” The coach’s hands were tied. He relied on the government and RFKK for his job, housing, and salary. All he had to do was pretend nothing was wrong, act like he knew nothing, and keep coaching Nikiforov until he couldn’t compete anymore._

_The RFKK did not want their golden boy to go out in a blaze of glory. They wanted him to destroy his life, his future on the ice._

_Feltsman reveals this is not the first time the RFKK and government conspired against athletes and doled out punishments. He added that the figure skating system in Russia relied on success and gold. Their athletes did not matter. Just as long as one tale of triumph was reported after another. Feltsman did not reveal if he had any involvement in other punishments to athletes, but said the guilt ate at him every day—and still does. He considered Nikiforov and Plisetsky like his own children. Katsuki had done nothing to him or the RFKK._

_In fact, it was the happiest he had ever seen his Skating Club. Their presence was soothed by the generous skater from Japan who pushed them all to be better. Feltsman regrets his role and knows that he will never be able to make it up to those he hurt the most. His final words in a long statement is that “this cannot continue any longer. The world needs to know what the RFKK is like.”_

 

 

-Yuuri-

 

Nika squirmed out of his arms at some point, but it freed him to wrap his second arm around his mother. Her calming scent easing the fears away one by one.

“Vicchan, Yurio-kun. Join,” Hiroko invited.

Soon, the weight of the two Alphas surrounded him. Yuuri didn’t feel panic rising. Instead, just calm and gentleness that had been missing from his life for over two years. After several minutes, Hiroko pulled away and smiled at him, wiping away the remaining tears.

“We’ll have dinner together, just family. Until then, you can rest. I made up two rooms and put a crib in yours for your son.”

He nodded. Exhaustion settling in now that he was home. She guided them upstairs. Yura had ended up with Nika in his arms. The toddler growing fussier by the moment. Hiroko giggled.

“It’s past someone’s nap time.”

“Could we drop him off first?” he asked.

“Of course!”

The walk to Yuuri’s old room was familiar. Inside, the room hadn’t changed much. His bed was replaced by the crib. Yura put him inside and tucked him in. Nika whined, but quickly fell asleep.

“He’s so cute,” Hiroko whispered. “You and Vicchan must be proud.”

“Very,” Viktor answered. “He’s perfect.”

Yuuri grabbed the baby monitor and turned it on before they left his room. Hiroko led them just down the hall. She slid open one door which had a double bed set up. The room next to it had a single bed.

“I’ll have Mari wake you up for dinner.”

His mother left them alone. Yuuri’s brain working overtime at the fact that he and Viktor were meant to sleep in the same room. Together. His heart pounded. Panic once again bubbling to the surface. They hadn’t discussed this.

“We…don’t have to sleep near each other,” Viktor whispered. He snapped his head in the direction of his fiancé. How had he known? “I’ll go talk to your mother and figure out other arrangements. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

He took a deep breath and reassessed the situation. Knowing that his fiancé was wiling to relocate for his comfort eased some of his fears. “We can push the beds apart. It looks like they put two singles together,” Yuuri said quietly.

“Okay, but if it’s not enough, let me know.”

He gave Yura a quick hug before going into the room meant for him and Viktor. “Could you leave the door open? For now?”

“Of course,” Viktor said gently. “Where do you want me?”

Yuuri bit his lip and thought for a moment. Panic growing stronger by the moment. “Just in front of me so I can see you.”

Viktor complied. He set to work on separating the beds and putting a considerable distance between them. One pressed against one wall and the other on the opposite wall. Yuuri knew that part of the reason he was so keyed up had everything to do with the last few days. Their escape, their travels, the emotional toll it took on all of them would take a while to fade.

He didn’t want to outright kick his fiancé out of the room. His instincts screamed at him to put more distance between them, but reminded himself over and over that this was Viktor.

A man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Yuuri claimed the bed closest to Yura’s room and watch Viktor settle in the other.

“You’re not mad?” he whispered.

“About the sleeping arrangements?” Viktor asked.

“Yeah.”

“No. I want you to feel comfortable and safe. I love you.”

With that, he drifted off to sleep.

 

-Viktor-

 

A knock on the door pulled him out of his light slumber. He hadn’t settled down properly.

“Dinner’s almost ready.”

“We’ll be there soon,” he muttered.

His mind remained a jumble of thoughts. Over the past few days, there hadn’t been time to think properly and expel all of his fears. The largest remained keeping his family safe. Viktor had done what he could.

But he couldn’t get over how he had failed to protect them from the RFKK, the Russian government, and Yakov.

“Viktor,” he heard. He didn’t want to answer his fiancé. “I can smell your distress from here.” Great. Now he was making Yuuri worry. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He sighed. “I don’t think I have all the right words right now.”

“Okay. When you find the words, we can talk.”

He heard his fiancé get out of bed and leave the room. Viktor laid there for just a moment longer before he decided being absorbed in his thoughts wasn’t productive any longer. By the time he got out of bed, Yuuri had Nika in his arms.

The toddler squirmed and reached for Viktor. “Papa!”

He took their son in his arms and kissed the top of Nika’s forehead. The toddler wasted no time nosing his scent gland. He let his scent flow gently as they made their way to the banquet hall.

The place was empty save for Yurio and Mari. The two went silent upon their arrival. Nika squirmed in his arms. Viktor placed him on the ground and let him run toward the teenaged Alpha.

Yuuri sat next to Yurio. “Did you sleep well?”

Viktor took a seat next to his fiancé.

“No,” the younger Alpha said. “Better than the past few days, but not enough.”

It was a shared sentiment between them.

“Yuuri,” Mari began. His fiancé gave his rapt attention to his sister. “The JSF called earlier. They wanted to talk to you.”

He could feel the other tense next to him. “About what?”

“Viktor, Yurio, you. They mentioned something about restitution and a trial.”

“What did you say?” Yuuri asked quietly.

“Said that you weren’t available. They said they’d call back tomorrow.”

He felt guilty for keeping part of their lives secret for now. Viktor didn’t feel ready to talk about everything that happened.

“And that reporter that was your fan boy also called. He wanted to know if you had anything to say about his article.”

Yuuri frowned. “I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

“I figured you hadn’t checked the news. I told him you’d be in touch if you wanted to respond, but not to call again.”

The conversation died there. Viktor could sense the worry and tension rolling off Yuuri. He did his best to release calming pheromones into the air. Nika mostly stayed near them, but eyed Mari with curiosity.

Toshiya and Hiroko joined them a few minutes later, placing bowls of Katsudon in front of them.

“Sorry for taking so long,” Hiroko apologized.

“We made sure there was extra!” Toshiya boasted. The mood lightened considerably.

Nika climbed in his lap, eyeing the food with suspicion. He grabbed a small bite and blew on it to cool it down. Viktor gave it to their son, who chewed on it for a minute. The frown on his face almost mirrored Yuuri’s when he was deep in thought.

Then, a squeal of delight and Nika whined for more. So he continued to feed their son until he was full.

“He has such a healthy appetite,” Hiroko giggled.

“This is the most he’s eaten ever,” Yuuri commented softly. Nika climbed off his lap and headed toward his fiancé.

“Mama!” Nika chirped. His love placed their son in his lap and let the toddler babble at him. Occasionally, a few real words were thrown in there. Yuuri smiled at their son while he continued to speak, nodding along.

“Vicchan,” Hiroko said gently. He tore his gaze away from them to look at his future mother-in-law. “We checked out the place you asked us to.”

In all the chaos, he had forgotten about asking them to look at the house not too far from here. His heart pounded loudly in his chest. “What did you think?”

“It’s in good condition,” Toshiya said. “Needs new paint, but that’s an easy fix. The hot springs will take a deep cleaning to get right. It’s a lot of space both inside and out. We can arrange for you to look at it yourself.”

“I’d like that. Maybe in a couple of days?”

“Sure, sure. No rush!” Toshiya said.

Dinner continued with small talk. No one broached what had happened in Russia. Why they suddenly came here. They didn’t ask about the two years Yuuri and Yurio were missing. The Katsuki’s weren’t ignoring what had happened.

No.

They were waiting to be told whenever they were ready. It was a welcomed relief.

 

-Yuuri-

 

The next day, the JSF called and asked for a meeting with him, Viktor, and Yuri. He agreed on the condition it be held near Hasetsu Ice Castle. Yuuri wanted to work out training times with Yuuko and Takeshi.

He also called Minako and asked about using the studio. She gave him a list of times available and to call her back when he had their on-ice training schedule sorted.

They didn’t have a lot of time to get Yura ready for competition. Even though Lilia had made progress off the ice in terms of jump, he didn’t know how the other would handle them on the ice.

They met in a hotel business room. He recognized three of the representatives from years ago, the fourth—he couldn’t place.

“Thank you for meeting us today,” the first one spoke.

“Thank you for agreeing to my request,” Yuuri muttered. He shook his leg, trying to push his anxiety to the side.

“We received the request for Mister Nikiforov and Mister Plisetsky to skate under Team Japan. Of course, we’re honored that they would consider skating for our country. We’ve looked at all the ways you could skate in international competitions. Unfortunately, the only way it’s possible is for you to become citizens. Outside of marriage and adoption, the process would take at least five years.”

It wasn’t the news they wanted to hear. However, he knew it likely wasn’t possible. Apparently, the ISU didn’t have a clause specifically built in for skaters who were exploited by their own country.

Yuuri knew that he would have to make his decision about marriage and adoption soon.

“We will continue to prepare for the upcoming season,” Viktor said steadily. “We realize that a choice will need to be made soon. We’re still considering it. In the mean time, our training will continue so that we will be prepared no matter what we decide.”

The representative nodded, pleased with the answer. “As for you, Mister Katsuki, we appreciate everything you have done for Team Japan. We are filing a formal lawsuit against the Russian government, the RFKK, and Mr. Feltsman regarding the recent report of your disappearance. We will be seeking restitution and damages against them for what you endured and the time you lost as a professional skater. In addition, we have lodged a formal complaint with the ISU regarding your treatment at their hands. They are investigating and will make a decision about the RFKK soon.”

He let out a heavy sigh. “I see.” His mouth was dry. He didn’t know what to say.

The representative continued. “The ISU has requested that all three of you testify against the RFKK in some form. They are willing to provide whatever accommodation is needed, including flying you out there.”

“I don’t think we can handle another trip,” he answered. “Maybe if we could tape our testimony?”

“I’ll make note of that. We will get in touch with you about possible dates. The ISU is moving swiftly on this matter.”

Yuuri bit his lip.

“Mister Katsuki,” the fourth person on the other side of the table began. “I am a Japanese government appointed attorney. I am aware of legal proceedings happening in Russia over your disappearance. I will be your counsel and keep you informed of the progress being made on that end. There is a preliminary conference hearing scheduled a month from now. Obviously, we will not send you back to Russia to testify. I am working with a judge to allow you to video chat in during the proceedings.”

“Will I be required to attend all days of the trial?”

“No,” the person reassured. “You will be there for testimony and cross examination. I can provide you with a summary of each day if you wish, but you do not have to subject yourself to anything you do not want.”

“Okay.”

“It will also help if Mister Plisetsky will testify during the trial of Miss Savina.”

He wasn’t familiar with that name, but it had an affect on Viktor. Yura made a face too.

“I’ll do whatever I can to make sure that bitch stays locked up forever.”

 

-Yuri-

 

After their meeting with the JSF, they went to Ice Castle Hasetsu. Just being inside the rink brought a sense of calmness. Yuri had been kept from the rink in Saint Petersburg. He smiled at the sight of fresh ice.

“Yuuri!” Yuuko greeted. “Oh my gosh, is that your son? He’s so cute! Hi Viktor, Yurio!”

“Could you get Yura some skates? We haven’t ordered new ones for him,” Katsuki said.

“Of course, of course!”

Rental skates. Not the best, but better than being kept off the ice. Viktor had already headed further in the rink to warm up. Yuuko handed him a pair of skates. In better condition than he expected, but still not what he would prefer.

“Stretch thoroughly. By the time you’re ready, I should be done here. I want to see how much we have to work on.”

He waved a dismissive hand and headed to where Viktor had gone. Yuri began his warm up routine that he practiced with Lilia. His mind already going through the moves she had shown him for his program. The music playing in his head over and over again.

Neither of them rushed through their stretches, taking extra care to make sure they were fully prepared. Katsuki came through the doors a while later.

“Are we all set?” Viktor asked.

“Yes. We’ll begin our full schedule tomorrow. Today, I just want to see where we’re at,” Katsuki answered calmly.

He didn’t miss the longing look the other gave the ice. Yuri knew it all too well. It had been a big part of their lives for years. Having it taken away from them was one of the cruelest things the RFKK could have done.

Yuri would make them regret their decision.

He began lacing up his skates. Viktor right beside him. His body buzzed with excitement. Soon, he would be back on the ice. There would be work to do, but he didn’t mind.

Within a few minutes, he was standing in front of the entrance to the ice. Yuri slipped off the guards and skated out on to the ice. Viktor followed behind.

They took several laps around the rink. He shed his outer jacket a few minutes in. It was strange having Katsuki on the sidelines.

_He should be on the ice with us._

Maybe one day.

Probably never professionally again.

But maybe as a family event. When they were teaching Nika together.

The toddler was sitting on the barrier to the rink. Katsuki’s arm protectively around Nika. The child’s eyes wide and watching them in awe.

“Yura, go through your short program. Mark your jumps.”

He complied.

When he made his senior debut, everything had came together smoothly. He felt comfortable on the ice. It was his home. However, this time around—he didn’t like the movements. They didn’t suit him.

At least not yet.

He finished the program and turned to Katsuki and Viktor. Both deep in thought.

“Go through it one more time,” Katsuki ordered.

He did. The program felt a little more comfortable. A couple of the transitions were still off.

“You’re not comfortable with the program,” the Omega said after his second run through. He couldn’t disagree. “Is it the program itself or lack of time on the ice?”

Yuri thought for a moment. “Probably a combination of both. A few of the transitions don’t fit, but I don’t know how to fix them.”

Katsuki nodded. “I have some ideas that we can implement tomorrow. I can show you off the ice later. Viktor wants to see your jumps. Do singles for now.”

He took off again and began gaining speed for his jumps. Yuri had no trouble landing the jumps.

“Doubles if you can,” Viktor said.

Again, he eased through them. The off ice training he had received with Lilia helped a lot. So did relying on the memory of what the jump felt like. Even years later, he could remember the sensation.

“Triples.”

He landed most of them well. The triple axel and lutz weren’t clean.

“We’ll call it good for now. Cool down,” Viktor instructed. He nodded.

“Show me your programs, Viktor.”

The older man took off, complying with Katsuki’s order. Even without music, the programs were breathtakingly beautiful. Yuri wanted to be better than Viktor. Wanted to be the one to steal the gold medal from him.

He just had further to go.

But he would get there.

 

-Viktor-

 

The programs felt good, despite not practicing them for a while. He felt confident that they would at least land him on the podium.

_If you get to skate._

He didn’t want to rush Yuuri into making a decision. They had already been through so much and barely settled in Hasetsu. He knew that his fiancé needed time.

Viktor was willing to give it.

Even if the uncertainty made him anxious.

“They look good, Viktor. Go through the short one more time and then come off the ice.”

He complied, not knowing why Yuuri only wanted to see the short program again. His fiancé didn’t comment when he came off the ice. Just to do cool down stretches. Yurio had returned his skates already and was texting someone on his phone.

Nika immediately joined him in stretching. Viktor watched his son out of the corner of his eye, amused at how eager the toddler was in participating. 

“He did the same thing with Yura,” his fiancé whispered. “Whenever we practiced ballet, he would try to mimic the moves.”

Viktor hummed. “Maybe we should let Minako start training him while you and Yurio practice in the studio.”

“She’ll never give him back,” Yuuri laughed. “He’s got her charmed.”

“Just like everyone else.”

Yuuri smiled. “Yes, just like everyone else.”

He finished the stretches and picked up Nika. The toddler talked to him the entire way home. More words were making their way into his son’s vocabulary. Both he and Yuuri had been slowly teaching him their native languages along with English.

Nika couldn’t quite separate the three languages just yet and often mixed them together. It was adorable to say the least. His son would pout while thinking of the right words in the language he was speaking. It often ended up with him forgetting and substituting another one.

Viktor insisted on being present for Nika’s Japanese lessons so he could brush up on his knowledge of the language. They were staying in Hasetsu for the foreseeable future, speaking in their native tongue would be more convenient in the long run.

They made their way back to Yu-topia.

The idea of Hasetsu being his home brought an unexpected wave of peace.

Hiroko and Toshiya greeted them at the door. Nika instantly squirmed to get out of his arms. Viktor set him down. The toddler approached them with caution, still trying to figure out how he fit in with them.

“Welcome home,” Hiroko greeted. “You must be hungry. I made lots of food.”

“I know you wanted to wait a couple of days to view the property you were interested in, but the seller contacted me and asked if we could meet in an hour.”

Viktor threw a look at Yuuri. His fiancé simply nodded. “That’s fine.”

“Lunch first and then we’ll all go,” Viktor said.

They gathered in the dining room to eat. As promised, Hiroko brought them plate after plate. All of it mouthwatering and delicious. He didn’t miss how Yuuri picked at his food, deep in though. Viktor wanted to know what was going through his mind.

He would ask after viewing the house.

Hiroko took one of the empty dishes away, Yuuri followed her this time.

Viktor decided not to worry about it—knowing that his fiancé would tell him when he was ready. He turned his attention to the conversation around him, engaging occasionally—but the fact that Yuuri hadn’t eaten much remained present in the back of his mind.

His fiancé didn’t return until Toshiya said it was time to leave to see the house. He got their son ready to go outside again. No one spoke a word until they arrived at their destination.

“Wow,” he breathed. The outside boasted gorgeous trees and was within walking distance of both the beach and Yu-topia. It gave them privacy, but wasn’t isolating. Their walk to the rink would also be cut in half.

He looked over to gauge everyone else’s reaction. Yuuri’s eyes sparkled. A familiar look. Yurio’s eyes were round in awe.

Toshiya ushered them to the front door. Another man let them inside, talking rapidly in Japanese. Viktor and Yurio didn’t bother to keep up. Looking at their potential future home was more important.

It didn’t take long for him to imagine them here. Their living room a place where they would relax. Yurio and Yuuri getting into heated video game battles. Nika running around the place.

They’d adopt another dog. Or two.

A part of him imagined another kid running around—maybe he could talk Yuuri into adoption.

They walked through the kitchen and dining room. A quick tour of the outside revealed a fenced in yard. Yuuri’s eyes lit up at the hot springs. They’d have their own to relax in after training.

They walked upstairs to the bedrooms. Three bedrooms on one side of the hall, three on the other. The master suite was bigger than the one in their shared apartment in Russia.

It was perfect.

“What do you think?” Toshiya asked them in English.

“Give us a moment alone,” Yuuri replied.

“Of course, of course.”

He and the other man walked downstairs. They stood in the empty master suite.

“This is our home,” Viktor said quickly. He took in the looks on Yurio and Yuuri’s face. They had the same idea.

“We can put an offer on it,” Yuuri conceded. “We’ll definitely have to paint before we move in. I have the feeling dad will be more than happy to clean the hot springs for us.”

He nodded. “Yurio?”

“It’ll be nice to relax here after training,” he said as evenly as possible. He smirked, knowing that the teenaged Alpha really liked the place.

“Let’s go downstairs and tell them our decision,” he said.

They did just that.

Yuuri and Toshiya began speaking to the real estate agent in rapid Japanese. Before the end of the day, they had put an offer on the house.

He couldn’t sleep well that night. Nervous anxiousness keeping him awake. Viktor wanted to talk to Yuuri, to ask the questions burning on his tongue. He didn’t though. For the first night in a while, his fiancé was sleeping without the disturbance of nightmares.

 

-Yuri-

 

Morning came too swiftly for his liking. Yuri had barely fallen asleep when his alarm went off. Yesterday’s excitement buzzed through him. They were taking the next step to getting back on their feet.

He got ready for the day and made his way downstairs for breakfast. The others were already awake and greeted him. He grunted before digging in to his food. They would be heading to Minako’s first. Katsuki wanted to show them the changes to their choreography and didn’t feel comfortable enough to show them on the ice.

It was understandable.

One day though, Katsuki would be back on the ice.

Yuri kept breakfast light, packing away granola bars for later.

“I’ll drop off lunch at the rink!” Hiroko said as she sent them off for the day.

“You don’t have to,” Katsuki weakly protested.

“Nonsense. Bento for everyone!”

“Thanks.”

With that, they headed for Minako’s, slowly warming up along the way. Katsuki lagged behind both him and Viktor.

He could feel the other’s anxiousness through their bond so he slowed his pace. They lightly jogged side by side. Katsuki relaxed once he did so.

When they arrived at the studio, Minako immediately cooed over Nika. The toddler didn’t know how to respond to her attention, preferring to hide behind his leg.

They began stretches, Nika appeared grateful for the distraction. He settled himself in between him and Katsuki. Though he couldn’t do all of their movements, he still tried.

“Viktor, I’ll show your changes first.”

They backed away. The Omega stood in the center of the room. He went through the entire short program, marking jumps and spins. The most significant change was the step sequence. Yuri held his breath. Every movement was beautiful, strong, and defiant.

Katsuki had slipped into a different headspace. The one both he and Viktor were familiar with. The changes would boost the overall presentation score.

“That was gorgeous,” Viktor breathed when the Omega had finished.

That got the other’s attention. Katsuki made himself smaller and flushed. “Thanks. Minako, did you get those changes?”

“Yes!”

“Viktor, go ahead and practice with Minako while I work with Yura.”

The other complied, leaving them alone.

“Show me what you’ve got,” Yuri said.

“We’ll start with the changes to your short program.”

The performance was no less breathtaking. Already, his mind was processing all the changes. They weren’t drastic, but made it more cohesive.

“Try it a couple of times so I know you understood the changes. Then I’ll show the free program I’ve got in mind.”

He did so. Katsuki occasionally barking out what he needed to fix. They ended up going through the program more than just a couple of times.

“Okay,” the Omega bit his lip. “This is rough. I know we haven’t really discussed music, but I found a piece I think suits you.”

This time, Katsuki plugged in his phone to the stereo system. Then, Yuri was given control over the music while the Omega got into the opening pose. After receiving the go ahead, he pressed play.

Immediately, he could feel the thumping of the bass. Brass instruments filled out the rest of the sound. Yuri focused his eyes on every movement Katsuki made. The choreography didn’t fit the music completely. At least that’s what he thought. It was chaotic at times. Emphasis was placed on presentation over technical components. They would work on that though.

The brass instrumentation began to fade away, leaving the bass once again. It was then he realized that the choreography didn’t compliment the main sound—but the steady background.

His lips curved into a smile. “It’s perfect.”

Katsuki smiled softly. “There are still a couple parts I’m smoothing out. I want to enhance the bass more so it doesn’t get lost. But I think it’s a good starting point.”

Yuri nodded, itching to try the choreography. “I can have Beka fix that.” Katsuki’s face lit up at the offer.

“My turn now,” Yuri said. He got in the center of the room. Katsuki began the music. They went through it in small sections, going over the beginning and nitpicking at the smallest of details.

After another hour in the studio, they cooled down and rehydrated before heading to the rink. They arrived just after Hiroko had dropped off lunch for them. They ate in the employee cafeteria. After letting lunch settle and warming up properly, he and Viktor took the ice.

They went through everything they had changed. Corrections were given. He was figuring out where to put his spins and jumps in the free program, trying to find which ones fit with the choreography he had been given.

Yuri had always known Katsuki would be a good choreographer. He didn’t also expect him to be a good coach as well.

 

-Yuuri-

 

The guests were asleep. His family cleaning up the main areas for tomorrow. Yuuri shook his leg in anticipation. He had asked them to gather when they were finished with their duties for an announcement. Nika clung to him, attempting to soothe his nerves.

In his mind, he went over what he was going to say.

One by one, they sat in the dining area. Their eyes turned to him. It became difficult to breathe the more they looked at him. Yuuri didn’t know if he could go through with it after all.

“Deep breath,” Viktor said gently. He took one in sync with his fiancé. They continued that until his thoughts weren’t as jumbled. “Better?”

He nodded. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“May I hold your hand?”

Again, he nodded. Viktor took his hand. Having him as an anchor gave him the courage to tell everyone the important news.

“When we arrived in Japan, Viktor and Yura announced their commitment to skate for Japan,” he began slowly. “The only way for them to do so is if we marry and adopt Yura.”

All eyes were focused on him. They hadn’t revealed much of what had happened before their arrival in Hasetsu. None of them quite ready to open themselves up to relive the pain and hurt.

“I decided not to go ahead with it because I needed more time. After thinking it through, I want to help make their dreams come true.” Yuuri turned to Viktor. “Viktor, I love you. You have been my constant and support. Nothing would make me happier than to be your husband.”

Tears fell from the other’s eyes. “Oh Yuuri,” Viktor breathed. “I love you too. Thank you.”

He took a deep breath. “I know Russian weddings tend to last multiple days. In Japan, it’s more formality. I figured on the first day, we would sign the paperwork and begin the adoption process. On the second day, we would have the actual ceremony. And on our third day, we hold a celebration in our new house.”

“We got the house?”

Yuuri nodded. “We got the house.”

“May I kiss you?” Viktor asked.

“Please.”

They shared a brief kiss, tender and sweet. Every kiss he received from Viktor helped wash away the ones he received in the compound. His fiancé loved him, would never hurt him.

He repeated those words in his mind as he went for a second one.

“Save something for the wedding,” Mari joked.

Yuuri flushed. “Sorry.”

“When can we sign the paperwork for our marriage and the adoption?” Viktor asked.

“In three days.”

 

\--

 

Those days flew by in a heartbeat. Between painting the house and getting hot springs operational again, ordering Yura a new set of skates, and ordering furniture for their new home, there wasn't much time to breathe. But here they were. Sitting at the registrar’s office, signing their names to become a new household. A new family. Soon after, they began filling out the adoption paperwork.

Their official meeting with the judge would take place before the end of the week. Everything was moving quickly. The JSF congratulated them and began processing the paperwork for Viktor to represent Japan in the upcoming season.

The ISU would have to approve the change, but they were all hopeful.

On the day of the ceremony, they found themselves on the beach in front of their family and friends. The sun was setting in the background. They chose to walk down the aisle together to symbolize the equality in their marriage.

They opted for custom vows.

“Yuuri,” Viktor breathed. “We’ve already been through so much. Already fought through several battles. Both together and separately. You kept me going through all of them. I am always in awe of your strength and courage. I promise to love you through the many battles still to come. To treasure all our moments together because I know how short our time could be together. I promise to give you everything I have to offer. I promise to protect and care for you until the last of our days.”

He felt his eyes well up. It was his turn.

“Viktor. You are my universe. My center in the storms of life. Life will not be perfect, but I promise to be by your side through it all. Our time together is limited and precious. I don’t want to go another second without you by my side. We will overcome everything together. The horrors of the past and the challenges of the future. I promise to give you my heart and soul. I will care for you until the last of our days.”

Their kiss was sweet and longer than all their previous ones.

_This feels right._

It didn’t seem real, being able married to his longtime idol. But Yuuri was proud that he could now call Viktor his husband.

And soon, Yura would be their son.

They made their way back to Yu-topia for a continued, private celebration. Katsudon and sake flowed freely at the onsen. He found himself smiling, enjoying the familiar antics of those around him.

He hadn’t let go of Viktor’s hand the entire time.

The horrors of the compound faded to a distant memory. Tonight, he wasn’t a battered and abused Omega.

Tonight, he was free and drowning in the same happiness he had felt when Viktor came to become his coach.

After the celebrations, he asked Viktor if they could push their beds together.

It was the first time they had slept in such close proximity since his rescue.

He didn’t know why he had been so afraid before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	38. Chapter Thirty-Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being patient with this update. I've been battling a severe round of depression, anxiety, and other stress related illnesses. This is the first weekend where I've felt well enough to write. So of course I chose the most emotionally taxing story to update. I had a clear vision for where this was going to go.
> 
> ***Three Star Warning*** Yuuri has a really bad anxiety/PTSD type experience. It's right out of the gate too. So I wanted to prepare you all. It's intense for a little bit, but then mellows out. I put a bunch of stars after Yuuri is able to come out of it so you know it's safe to read. Below is a summary of the section, skip if you don't want spoilers.
> 
> Summary of the Three Star Section: Yuuri wakes up and there are unfamiliar arms around him. They only hold him tighter as he struggles to get away. The person uses their Alpha scent to try and get him to calm down, but he registers it as an attempt to get him to submit. Then, he smells Nika and Yura in the room. He believes the stranger is going to use them against him. To get him to obey. Eventually, he's able to calm down.

-***Yuuri***-

 

Warmth.

How many times had he trouble keeping his body temperature regulated during sleep? Yuuri had lost track. He snuggled closer to the source. A heavy sigh on the lips of the person next to him. 

_Person._

Arms snaked around him, holding him tight. Pinning him in place. Yuuri tried to move away. They pulled him closer.

_Let go, let go, let go._

Yuuri pushed away from them. The arms still gripping him tight. 

“Let me go!” he shouted repeatedly. The weight was still there, unrelenting. Yuuri struggled against their hold. He didn’t want this. Tears streamed down his face as he began to lose strength fighting off the arms.

“Leave me alone,” he sobbed. “I don’t want this. I don’t want this.”

“Yuuri.”

He flinched. “Don’t call me by my name.”

Alpha pheromones filled the air. His Omega side responded to the comforting scent. The tears didn’t stop. He was being manipulated, controlled. All it did was throw him further into a panic. His voice growing tired every time he shouted. 

“Not fair,” he cried. “Not fair.”

“Shit.”

The curse barely registered in his mind. The weight of someone holding him, trying to get him to submit made it difficult to breathe. A familiar scent filled the room.

_Nika._

He stopped struggling against the Alpha. “Please don’t hurt him. I’ll be good. I’ll be good. I’m sorry, Alpha.”

“Yuuri,” the voice said again. His fought against the urge to flinch. 

 _I’m sorry, Nika._  

He tried to lose himself in other thoughts. Ones where his fate wasn’t inevitable. Those memories grew harder and harder to recall as the days slipped by. Yura’s scent floated to the room. He whimpered, afraid of what would happen next.

“Katsuki,” the teenaged Alpha said gently. The calm before the storm. “Hey, you’re okay. You’re not there anymore. You’re in Hasetsu with me, Nika, and Viktor. You and Viktor got married yesterday. Do you remember?”

No, he didn’t.

How could he forget something so important?

“We’re not in the compound. We escaped. You’re safe now. We’re all safe,” Yura continued. “Can you inhale?” He tried. It was shallow. His chest hurt, but he got some air into his lungs. “Good, slowly let it out.”

They repeated the process several times. At some point, Nika was put on his chest. His hands immediately wrapped around the toddler. One stroking the other’s hair. Yuuri kept breathing, each one getting easier.

Soon, the room came into focus. Instead of the flat, beige colored ceilings—vaulted and wood beams filled his vision. The familiar spices filtered through. Yuuri knew exactly what his mother was cooking. He took a few more shuddering breaths.

His eyes quickly scanned the room. Only Yura was there aside from Nika.

“Viktor?” he asked weakly.

“He’s outside. Didn’t want to make things worse,” Yura answered.

***********************

Yuuri nodded. “I’m sorry.” New tears fell down his face. What was supposed to be a happy day for their family had been soured. All because of him. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Hey, it’s not your fault. I’m not mad. Neither is Viktor. We’ll figure it out.” 

The words merely clawed at the guilt growing in the pit of his stomach. He had _asked_ to be near Viktor. Then, he had rejected his husband. He couldn’t imagine how the Alpha felt.

“Can I see him?” he asked. 

“Yeah. Do you want me to stay or leave?” 

Yuuri bit his lip. “Go see if my mom needs help in the kitchen.”

“Okay.”

As Yura left the room, Yuuri allowed himself to close his eyes temporarily. Nika hadn’t moved much in his arms, just adjusting enough so that his head was directly of Yuuri’s heart. 

The door slid open. He looked to see Viktor standing near the entrance. He lifted a hand. “Come closer, please.”

His husband looked distraught and hesitant, but obeyed. The guilt ran raw in his heart. Viktor took his hand, still ensuring enough distance was between them.

_I caused this._

“Viktor,” he said. His voice hoarse still, “I’m so sorry. I…didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

It was then that he realized his husband was crying. “I thought I hurt you. My first instinct was to hold you closer like I always did. Then you started screaming and I realized how much I messed up.” 

He pulled Viktor’s hand closer to his body, splaying the warm hand against his cheek. “You did nothing wrong,” he reassured. “This is something I have to work through. I want to be able to sleep next to you.” 

Viktor’s thumb started to move, wiping away Yuuri’s fresh tears. The gentle movement helped calm him down. He took in a few breaths and leaned in to the touch. 

“I want that too,” Viktor said. “When you were in my arms…it was the best I’ve slept in years.”

“Me too,” he answered honestly. “I felt safe for the first time in a long time. Just when I woke up that my brain couldn’t process what was different.”

Viktor nodded. He gave his husband a weak smile. “May I kiss you?” the Alpha asked quietly.

“Please.”

The kiss was gentle, but lasted a while. He could tell that Viktor was still on edge. Yuuri ran a finger through his husband’s hair, doing his best to reassure the other that they were all right. When they broke apart, Viktor rested his forehead on Yuuri’s.

“I love you,” his husband whispered. 

“I love you,” Yuuri echoed. “We’ll get through this together, I promise.” 

“We need to find a therapist to go to.” 

“After we move,” he promised. “Let’s enjoy the rest of this day.” 

Viktor gave him a small smile. “Of course. We have a couple hours before we’re supposed to begin the moving process, what would you like to do?” 

“Will you hold me again? I want to feel safe again.” 

His husband looked apprehensive at the request, but complied. His arms wrapped around Yuuri. Both he and Nika let out a content sigh. The embrace lulled him back to sleep.

When he awoke for the second time, he didn’t panic. Yuuri knew whose arms he was in.

 

-Yakov-

 

“You have put us in a very difficult position, Mr. Feltsman.”

Three people sat across from him in a small room. Two of them were obviously there to intimidate him. If they thought he would cave easily due to muscle men, they had no idea what they were up against.

He stared into the black beady eyes of the skinner man across from him. Dressed in a suit without a single wrinkle. A cigarette now in between a perfect set of teeth. Yakov almost wanted to roll his eyes at how cliché this was turning out.

“Have I? Do explain,” he said. The skinner man lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply.

“Don’t play stupid, Mr. Feltsman. Files that only a handful of us had access to somehow ended up in the hands of a Japanese reporter. Now that they’re out to the public, the ISU is meeting to describe the future of skating in Russia. Hundreds of aspiring young athletes and current athletes are now worried about their future.”

“And you’re worried because you invested a lot of money into them. Money that you’ll never get back off endorsements and advertisements.”

“Money is of no concern to us,” the person answered. “We’re worried about those in the sport. How many lives you are going to destroy. What do you have to gain from taking down the RFKK?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why did you do it?”

Yakov leaned back in his chair. He kept eye contact on the smaller man. The two brutish thugs didn’t scare him. They most they would do is punch him in body parts that are easily covered—if it came to that. Overall, they were there to remind him just how much power the government had.

“Why are you looking for answers in a man who has nothing to lose? Shouldn’t you be more worried about damage control to the media?”

“Damage control starts at the source.”

He folded his arms across his chest. “Right. Except if I disappear or turn up dead, you won’t be able to explain it without serious scrutiny.”

“We’re not that stupid, Mr. Feltsman.”

“Then what do you want me to do?”

“We want you to hold a televised conference saying that you made up everything involving the government’s involvement and take full responsibility for the scandal.”

“And what about the documents only a few had access to?” he asked, eyebrow raised.

“You fabricated them. You did it out of frustration that you were no longer the most sought after coach in Russia and wanted to damage the Federation and its best interests of the skaters. You planned Katsuki’s disappearance to get revenge on Nikiforov after he took a year off to coach for a rival country. Plisetsky was just collateral damage.”

He watched the other take a few more drags on his cigarette. “That’s all?” His words were laced with sarcasm.

“For now,” the other replied.

Yakov stood. The two guards reacted immediately to his action. “You’ll have to kill me after all.”

Without another word, he walked out of the room. Guards immediately swarmed him and escorted him back to his cell. Yakov knew they would be back. They would try to negotiate more and more the closer they got to ISU’s decision on the RFKK. Once that was over, there would be no more use for him.

He didn’t care.

Yakov had done many things wrong in his life, but he would give his life in exchange for righting one of them.

 

-Viktor-

 

After the rough morning, Viktor found his excitement for the day returning. Mama Hiroko had spent the better part of the day cooking food for their little housewarming. He and Yuuri had gone over early with their son to make sure the place wasn’t too messy. Several pieces had been delivered. They paid extra for setup.

Neither of them wanted to spend hours pouring over instructions and trying to assemble the pieces. It turned out to be the best decision of their lives. Though the place was still lacking a few personal touches, they had everything to make do for now.

They went through Nika’s bedroom first. Mama Hiroko had given them the crib from their home. It was used for both Mari and Yuuri. The thought of having something that had sentimental value brought them both to tears. Viktor more than his husband, but no one needed to know that. 

Everything was set up in to Yuuri’s satisfaction. They had found the bedroom next to Nika’s had a connection. Viktor urged his husband to take this one as his room. That way, his love would have a safe space if he couldn’t handle sleeping in the master. Also, it provided easy access to check on their son in the middle of the night. 

Yuuri reluctantly agreed. He wanted to try and sleep in the master more often than not. But having a place to retreat to if things were too overwhelming appealed to him. The space was minimalistic at the moment. 

Yurio claimed the bedroom on the other side, saying he needed to be close to the restroom. The teenage Alpha vehemently denied wanting to keep near the Omega in case of emergencies. Of course, when he requested his own way into Yuuri’s room, the mask slightly crumbled.

They worked out an arrangement so Yurio could have access to his husband’s room in case nightmares were a problem for either of them. Though, Viktor’s Alpha was displeased at the solution.

It was a problem he would have to work through.

Viktor had taken to decorate the master lavishly, much to Yuuri’s protests. He wanted nothing more than comfort for the both of them. Of course, he asked his husband what he’d like. Their sanctuary was shrouded in blues, purples, and greys.

He loved how much it felt like a blend of the two of them. 

“Viktor,” Yuuri breathed as they entered the master bedroom.

“Yes?”

“It’s beautiful,” his husband commented. “I love it.”

His heart soared. “I’m glad. I know you’ll still have days where you’ll want space, but I wanted make this place as inviting as possible. I will do anything to make you comfortable.” 

Yuuri smiled at him, closing the distance between them. He felt his husband’s arms wrap around his body. The Omega leaned to give him a kiss. Viktor relaxed into the embrace and returned the kiss. 

He craved more of these moments between them, wanted them to last forever. Because in that time, Viktor knew that they would work things out. That they would be okay. Their future had changed, but their commitment to one another didn’t waver.

“Thank you for everything. I love you,” Yuuri whispered against his lips.

He nuzzled his husband’s neck in response. “I love you.”

They stayed like this for a few moments. The smell of a content Alpha and Omega wrapping around them. There would be more for them to overcome, but they would do it together.

 

-Yuri-

 

He tugged at the tie around his neck. No sooner had he loosened it, Katsuki fixed it for him. They sat in a courtroom, waiting for their adoption case to be heard. So far, three other families had gone before them. Two had their adoptions denied, only one was approved. 

_The judge is going to reject ours._

His stomach clenched at the thought. If his adoption wasn’t approved, then he couldn’t skate. Five years would put him at 23. Technically not too old to skate, but it would be difficult to make the lasting impression on the sport that Yuri craved to.

“Katsuki-Nikiforov and Plisetsky,” the judge called. 

They stood and walked to just a few feet in front of the judge. Nika had chosen to cling to him today. Probably because the toddler knew how nervous Yuri was. Something he was grateful for.

“I’ve reviewed your case,” the older woman said. Her voice firm. “It’s unusual. I’ve never dealt with one like yours. I’m concerned that the only reason Mr. Plisetsky agreed to be adopted is so he could professionally skate for Team Japan.”

“That’s not true,” Yuri said harshly. The judge turned her eyes toward him. Hard and unwavering. He met her gaze. “It’s a benefit, I won’t deny that. All my life, my biological family treated me like nothing more than a cash cow. They only cared if I brought them a paycheck. The second I showed talent on the ice, they cut a deal with the Russian government. I would be a sponsor for the government and they would receive a monthly stipend until I was able to win cash prizes. 

“They didn’t hesitate to ship me off to Saint Petersburg, against the wishes of my grandpa. He wanted me to stay in Moscow, but he was the only one who wanted what was best for me. When I got there, I knew no one and had nothing. Viktor took me in. It was a terrible idea,” he laughed. “I don’t know how we made it—or why our coach allowed it. My biological family couldn’t keep their spending under control and had more debt than they could handle. Every week, I got the same phone call from them. They knew how to hit me where it hurt.” 

He took in a deep breath. “They’d use my grandpa as a reason. I would do anything for him. They gambled away money for his food, utilities, and clothes. When I got to return to Moscow with my first gold medal, I saw how much they had neglected him. They were nowhere to be found.” 

“What happened to them?” the judge asked. 

“If you can’t pay your debts to the mafia, they make you disappear. I don’t know if they’re dead or alive. To me, they had been dead a long time. Viktor helped me through all this. He helped me figure out how to get money to just my grandpa, set up automatic payments and stuff. We budgeted and he helped with expenses when my own salary wasn’t enough. Viktor taught me how to live life.

“Katsuki taught me what a real family should be like. I could yell and scream at him all day about how much I hated him. He simply took it and smiled. I hated that the most. He would tell me that it would all be okay. When he came to Saint Petersburg, I basically moved in with them. For the first time in my life, I knew what a family was. They let me make mistakes, let me grow, and made sure that I knew I would never be alone.

“We’ve been a weird, dysfunctional family since. I wouldn’t trade it for the world either. The old man is forgetful and Katsuki can be overprotective at times, but I love them anyway.” 

“So then why do you need this formal adoption?” the judge asked. 

He tried not to let his irritation slip through. “I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me who my real family is. They chose me and I chose them. I need a formal adoption to go through because I don’t want the world to be able to dispute what I already know in my heart.” 

Their eye contact lasted a little while longer. Slowly, he could see the hardness melting away, a smile slowly replacing her features. 

“You two have helped raise and shape a fine young man. You should be proud to call each other family.” 

“We are,” Viktor said firmly. “Like Yurio said, we don’t need a piece of paper to know he belongs in our family. This is merely formality for official records. We would have adopted him in Russia if it were possible.”

The judge jotted something down on the papers in front of her. “I am approving your adoption. I still have my concerns that it’s only to skate, but I believe the fact that Mr. Plisetsky has chosen you two after being manipulated by his biological family speaks more for the case than anything. You will receive a copy of the adoption confirmation and I will pass along the paperwork to the JSF. Dismissed.”

They received their copies no sooner had they exited the judge’s chamber. Yuri stared at the piece of paper. He had chosen to keep his last name. However, he chose to replace the middle name that had no meaning to him with Katsuki-Nikiforov. 

Yeah, his name was now a mouthful, but he wanted to include his new family somehow. 

Katsuki hugged him, tears forming in his eyes. “Thank you for being part of our family, Yura.” 

“Whatever,” he grumbled. “Don’t expect me to be calling you “mama” and “papa.” I’m too old for that.”

“My son wounds me,” Viktor cried.

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not your son.”

Viktor held up his copy of the adoption papers and clicked his tongue. “I have official proof that says otherwise.” 

Yuri groaned. “I knew this would be a mistake.” 

Viktor laughed at his new ability to officially call Yuri his son. Katsuki tried to run interference, telling the old man not to tease him too much.

Yuri couldn’t help but smile at the ongoing banter.

Some things never change—no matter how much shit happened in life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites


	39. Chapter Thirty-Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being patient with me in terms of updates. I am in the process of moving and it's been super stressful. I appreciate all your support.
> 
> **Two Star Warning** For Yuuri's anxiety. He opens up to Viktor about his past.
> 
> This entire chapter, the characters all kind of on edge and that might be triggering. So please read at your own pace, just as I wrote at my own.

**Viktor Nikiforov and Yuri Plisetsky Announce Major Changes Ahead of Grand Prix Assignments**

By Hisashi Morooka

 

_It’s been a busy off-season for Living Legend, Viktor Nikiforov and Rising Star, Yuri Plisetsky. The changes began with Plisetsky and Japan’s Hero, Katsuki Yuuri being found after a two year disappearance. Since then, news of the Russian Figure Skating Federation (RFKK) and the Russian Government’s alleged involvement in their absence has made international headlines. Now, more changes are on the horizon after the allegations have come forward._

_Nikiforov and Plisetsky announced that they have both become Japanese citizens. Nikiforov through marriage of Katsuki and Plisetsky through adoption of the newly married couple. The two sat down for an exclusive interview to detail their whirlwind decisions and how live has changed for the two of them._

_Hisashi Morooka:_ When did you know that you had to leave Russia?” 

 _Viktor Nikiforov:_ Yuuri and I had planned to move to Hasetsu shortly after he retired from professional figure skating. The circumstances were different then, but we always dreamed of raising our family here. After…everything, Yuuri expressed desire to return and I agreed. We weren’t planning on making the immediate change though.

 _HM:_ What changed that?

 _VN:_ When I went to discuss the change with my former coach, Yakov Feltsman… I found Yuuri’s engagement ring in his office. I knew then that we weren’t safe and had to get out before it was too late.

 _HM_ : How did you end up in the mix, Yuri (Plisetsky)?

 _Yuri Plisetsky:_ I didn’t know everything that was going on at the time. Everything happened quickly. I just knew that I had to go with the people I regarded as family. So I left Russia with them. I learned the rest of the truth later.

 _HM:_ Speaking off family, you two are now legally considered that. How did that decision come about?

 _YP:_ Really, it’s just formality. When we came to Japan to seek asylum, one of the options presented to us was adoption. I didn’t need to think about it.

 _VN:_ Yurio has been part of my family for years. When Yuuri moved to Saint Petersburg, there wasn’t even a question that he was still part of our dynamic. Adoption was just the next step.

 _HM:_ Both of you have expressed interest in skating again this season. What can we expect? 

 _VN:_ Yurio and I have been approved to skate for Team Japan this season. The JSF and ISU have been accommodating to our circumstances. 

 _YP:_ Katsuki is choreographing my programs and will be coaching both of us this season. The old man is also helping me with some of the technical aspects of my performances. My skating style has changed significantly as I plan to return to the competition. I think that everyone will see a new dimension to my performances.

 _HM:_ Will we see Katsuki-kun return to the ice?

 _VN:_ That’s up to him. Right now, we’re focused and committed to the upcoming season.

 _HM:_ What are you goals for the season?

 _YP:_ To kick the old man off the top of the podium.

 _VN:_ My son wounds me! I am looking simply to end my career on my own terms. 

 _HM:_ Will this season be your last? 

 _VN:_ Very likely. I feel guilty still competing. I missed out on two years with my husband and time with my other son. I would love nothing more than to spend every moment with them to make up for lost time. However, I don’t want my last moments on the ice to be tainted with the knowledge I have now.

 _HM:_ Everyone is dying to know more about your younger son.

 _VN:_ As they should. He’s adorable—the perfect blend of Yuuri and I. He calls me “papa!” My husband taught me about life and love. I didn’t think my life, my heart would ever be complete. Now, I don’t know what I’d do without them in my life.

_The two kept word about their programs a secret for now. When asked about the upcoming ISU meeting where they are set to testify, they declined to comment. There are a lot of unanswered questions regarding the circumstances of their departure from Russia and the changes in their lives, but they are excited for their future in skating and supporting each other as family._

_They continue to ask the public for privacy as they adjust to their new lives. Katsuki was invited to join this interview, but declined. He says that he appreciates the support his fans and country have given to him during a difficult time._

_The ISU’s meeting will be held in two days and will determine the future of the RFKK along with Russia’s ability to host future skating events._

 

-Viktor-

The tension between the three of them was thick and hung heavily in the air. Viktor and Yurio were working through their programs for the season. Everything was progressing better than expect. However, Yuuri remained critical of every aspect. Today more than others. Tomorrow, they would be testifying via Skype to the ISU. This meant putting their story out in front of several people. Any one of whom could tell the media about what was discussed.

They had been trying to find a new therapist. Both his husband and son had nixed four of them already. They had an appointment after practice to meet with another—everyone agreeing that having one before the ISU meeting was important. They just couldn’t find one that felt capable of handling their complicated situation. Hasetsu was a sleepy town with no options. 

They had to look outside of the city and that meant a lot of travel time for them. He and Yuuri had gotten into several fights due to stress and anxiety over the meeting. While they both knew the contributing factors, it didn’t make things better. They were hurting each other more than healing. 

His husband had taken to exclusively sleeping in his own room, leaving Viktor alone in the master. It hurt, but it would hurt more in the long run if they couldn’t communicate better.

He took a deep breath before deciding that he couldn’t concentrate on practice any more. Their appointment with a new therapist would be in about two hours, which meant that they needed to leave in about a half hour to make it there on time. 

Yuuri handed him his water bottle and a towel. 

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” 

The last bit was said so softly, Viktor almost didn’t hear it. His husband’s eyes returned to Yurio on the ice. Though Yuuri’s face was turned away from him, there were obvious signs of restless nights. Seeing him in such a state hurt, but he would keep his mouth shut—knowing that his concern would be interpreted negatively.

“Yura, come off the ice.”

Their son complied without complaint. They stretched their muscles and cooled down. Soon, they were sitting on the train out of Hasetsu. Viktor felt his heart clench. The invisible barrier between the three of them suffocated him.

_Please let them feel comfortable with this therapist._

He felt a gentle nudging at his side. He looked and found his husband looking at him. Worry written on his face. His eyes darted toward his lap—looking at Viktor’s free hand. Immediately, he offered it to his soulmate. Yuuri took it without hesitation. Though they still didn’t speak, the tiny gesture sparked hope that they would get through this together.

 

-Yuuri-

 

Guilt constantly ate at him. The most important meeting of their entire careers was tomorrow and they still hadn’t found a professional outlet for the trauma the three of them experienced. Yuuri knew they had been lucky in Saint Petersburg to find someone quickly. He just didn’t expect it to be so hard this time around. 

Part of him had given up on the third meeting. He was about to set aside the person’s inexperience in his particular trauma and agree to see them on a regular basis. When Yura expressed his dislike for the person, he knew the search would continue. In desperation, he contacted hospitals for recommendations on those who might be able to help.

Human trafficking wasn’t talked about much in Japan. It happened, but not to the degree as Russia. In many regards, his home country was seen as a sanctuary for those who had such an experience.

Many of the experts though lived in major cities. One hospital answered with a recommendation of someone they believed could help. It was their last hope. Yuuri hoped it would be worth it. He felt guilty for pushing everyone away. Right now, he didn’t even know how to sort his thoughts.

All he knew was that there would be parts of his story that Viktor would hear for the first time. Just as his husband would share pieces that Yuuri had never heard before. The fact that he didn’t know exactly how much his other half suffered made the guilt all the worse. 

He needed comfort just as much as his husband. 

A silent promise that they would be there for each other, no matter what happened today, tomorrow, and forever.

Holding Viktor’s hand was the simplest way to accomplish that. Once their fingers were intertwined, he could feel some of the tension melt away. 

 _We’ll be okay._  

He carried the thought with him as they arrived outside a quaint office on a quiet street.

 

-Yuri-

 

The routine was getting old. Meeting with a new professional, telling them only part of the story and judging their reaction and answers based off what little he told them. One of the so-called therapists they met set him off in the beginning and made for an unproductive session for him.

He was hurting and didn’t want to be vulnerable and hurting again. It took a lot out of him to talk about their situation. Yuri wasn’t just protective of his own story, but also Katsuki and Nika. They didn’t deserve more pain and hurt in their lives.

Anticipation hummed through his body as they got closer to their destination. He hoped that this would be a good fit for them. Their meeting with the ISU was tomorrow and he wasn’t prepared in the slightest. They agreed to have a joint call so they could support each other during the hearing. 

That meant being unfiltered to strangers and in front of each other. He didn’t know how it would play out. Yuri knew that it would be difficult. 

They arrived outside an office that resembled a home more than anything. Once inside, he could feel some of the anxiety melting off his shoulders. Lavender and a citrus blend wafted through the room. Behind a small desk was a man with a bright smile.

Their joint family session was first. This is where they’d discuss their unique situation and upcoming meeting with the ISU.

Five minutes in, Yuri could tell that this therapist would be the right fit for them.

 

\----------

 

As morning rose in the house, so did the tension of what today meant for them as individuals, as a family. Their therapy sessions were productive yesterday. Turns out their therapist saw a limited number of clients and agreed to visit them after their meeting with the ISU.

Not having to travel an hour and a half after what would be a draining meeting came as a relief to all of them. Yuri didn’t know what to expect. The unknown caused a surge of nervous energy to bounce through him. The only solitude from the thoughts was through the hot springs. Normally, he hated public baths. Theirs however, was kept private. He would often find himself there, washing away the thoughts and tension. 

No one said anything about his new-found love for the hot springs. Everyone had their way of coping. Katsuki had been cleaning the house for the past few days. Every room was spotless. The old man had spent more time at the rink and exercising. Nika did his best to keep up with them. 

Their anxiousness was impacting the toddler too. He became more and more restless. Yuri went to check on Nika in his room and noticed that he was up, despite the early hour.

So he took him out of the crib and began the process of trying to potty train him, putting on a fresh diaper, and a new outfit.

“Dada,” Nika said.

“Yeah?” It had become the new normal for him to be called that. Viktor hadn’t said anything about the new nickname—despite the initial shock. No one bothered to correct the toddler at this point. 

“Dada, see mama and papa?” 

He nodded. “Soon. First, we’ve got to get you dressed. What do you want to wear today?” 

The process was a huge ordeal in itself. Despite the fact that Nika was growing, Viktor insisted on buying him an obscene amount of clothes. The toddler eventually settled on something with tiger strips.

“For dada!” he announced proudly. He smiled. Once he was finished dressing Nika, they made their way downstairs. The toddler happily talking in broken English and Russian. Even though he hadn’t mastered one language over another, the little one was smart enough to know which of them could speak what language.

Not that Yuri wasn’t trying to learn Japanese, he just didn’t have as much time to devote to it while preparing for him comeback season. His spare moments were spent on the ice, drilling his quads. He had a low success rate compared to when he was at his best. 

The struggle reminded him of watching Katsuki fight for every jump the first time he visited Hasetsu three years ago. His body remembered, but the adjustments to his height and balance were still off to land them consistently.

_“You’re closer than you think, Yura.”_

He wanted to believe that.

“Mama!” the toddler screamed. He started squirming out of Yuri’s arms and there was no point in trying to resist. Without hesitation, he put Nika on the floor so he could run toward Katsuki. 

“Good morning, Nika.”

“Morning!” The toddler clung to Katsuki’s leg for a brief moment before giving the Omega space to finish breakfast. Yuri sat at the kitchen island. They merely looked at each other. Evidence of tiredness lingered, but it was expected. Viktor came down a few moments later.

Plates filled with breakfast items were placed in front of them. No one said a word except to respond to Nika’s happy chattering until the end of the meal.

“Our meeting with the ISU isn’t until four this afternoon,” Viktor said casually. “Since we’re taking the day off from the ice, what should we do?”

“I would like to go for a walk,” Katsuki whispered. “Even if it’s just a little bit. I want…to be more active.”

“Okay.”

They went through the process of getting ready for a family outing. The tension still heavy, almost suffocating. Maybe, just maybe the walk would do them some good.

 

-**Yuuri**-

 

He couldn’t quell his thoughts. The doubts and fears echoed over and over in his mind. Yuuri didn’t have his normal outlets at the moment. They agreed to stay away from training for the day. It was better they didn’t practice distracted. Viktor and Yura would be prone to make more mistakes that could lead to injury. 

However, that didn’t mean they had to stay inside the house with restless energy. A walk would do all of them good. He made a mental route to travel, one that would take them through one of his favorite parks. 

Uncertainty lingered. He didn’t know how much the ISU would want to know regarding their time in captivity. Telling them anything before telling Viktor would feel wrong. But forcing himself to have that conversation with his husband was difficult.

They began their walk as a family without many words spoken between them. Nika held his hand firmly. His other was connected to Yura. Slowly, the conversation started to flow. Comments on the scenery and weather. Anything superficial. 

When they arrived at the park, Nika insisted on playing with Yura. “Stay where we can see you,” he instructed. The teenaged Alpha rolled his eyes.

Yuuri sat on the nearby bench. Viktor settled next to him. He offered his hand, which was immediately taken.

“What’s going through your mind?” Viktor asked softly. “I can feel your anxiousness.” 

He didn’t immediately answer, thinking of how best to put everything into words. “I’m afraid,” he whispered. “I don’t know what questions they’re going to ask. I have answers, but I’m afraid that I haven’t told you everything. I want you to know before they do.”

“Have you held anything major back that I need to know about?” Viktor asked quietly. The question weighed heavily between them.

“I don’t know. It’s…not a time I want to remember. I just want you to have all the answers to any questions you may have still.”

Silence lingered between them. He focused on their two sons laughing and playing in the distance. Yuuri would wait as long as Viktor needed.

“I don’t know I can handle everything you have to tell,” his husband said. “I know you have a lot to tell still, but I don’t even know where to begin.” 

He nodded. “It’s overwhelming. So much has happened before we were ready. It’s been non-stop since I was rescued. I wanted you to have the first opportunity to know everything. I also don’t know where to begin.” 

Viktor squeezed his hand. “I don’t need to know everything right now. I just need to know the generics. Maybe go through them and I’ll ask questions if I have them?” 

Yuuri took a deep breath. “Okay, I can do that. I know you researched a lot about human trafficking while I was missing. I was…used and abused in so many ways. I was expected to pleasure those who came to my room. I was beaten a lot because I was a bad Omega. Yura was also defiant. It didn’t take them long to figure out that the best way to hurt him was to hurt me.”

“Take your time, love.”

He gave a small smile to his husband, grateful for the support. Yuuri was skipping a lot of details intentionally. He wasn’t ready for them to go into depth about his time in the compound, but at least he could talk about the basics. 

“Yura did everything he could to protect me, but we were kept in separate places. I know that I would often be left at his place when everything got to be too much. They…weren’t pleasant times. I was just there so he could try to fix me. We were just trying to survive. I thought about you every day. Every milestone that Nika hit made the longing worse. I wanted you to see his progress. I would imagine you being delighted at every little thing he’d do. I thought of how our child would be born some time around your birthday. How his first figure skating event would have been Euros. I never realized how much I wanted that life until it was taken from me, from us,” he confessed.

“I knew you were pregnant,” Viktor revealed. Yuuri felt his heart stop. He had known? When did he figure it out? “I went to the clinic after you were taken. I…didn’t know if the baby had survived. It was torture knowing that I couldn’t be there for you during such an important time. I am constantly amazed at how strong you were back then, how strong you are now.”

“I don’t feel that strong,” he whispered. “I’m afraid that everything is still going to crash around us. That one day I’m going to wake up and this will all a dream. It’s easier to push everyone away so it doesn’t hurt more. I’m tired of hurting.” 

“I know you are, my love. We all are. We didn’t deserve what happened to us—no one deserves this to happen ever. It’s easy to slip back into what we were forced to be familiar with. I struggle with that too, especially since we had to flee Russia so quickly. We had just started getting into a routine worked for us. I want to work toward that again.”

He nodded. “I do too. I promise I’ll be more open after this meeting. It just holds a lot of weight.”

“And there’s still more to go through, I know.” Yuuri turned to take in his husband’s face. Viktor looked at him with gentleness and kindness that he craved and missed dearly.

“I know that I can’t go through this meeting and testifying at the trial without you,” he said. “Please stay close to me, even when it’s hard.” 

“Especially when it’s hard,” Viktor promised. He smiled and leaned forward. His husband met him the rest of the way for a gentle kiss. Momentarily, his anxiety about the future melted away. It would return, he knew. In that moment, Yuuri knew he could trust and believe in his soulmate’s words.

“If you two are done being gross, Nika wants something to eat.”

They broke apart. Yuuri turned his attention to his sons. The toddler ran up to him, silently begging to be picked up.

“Use your words,” he encouraged gently.

“Up, pwease.” He complied. “Food.” Then, Nika buried his nose into Yuuri’s scent gland. He stood up from the bench and they began to make their way back home. It was a short walk. When they arrived at home, a familiar smell hit his nose.

He headed toward the kitchen and found his mom there, unpacking several containers of katsudon and other meals. “You didn’t have to,” he said.

She smiled at him. “I figured you wouldn’t feel up to cooking today. It’s no trouble, really.”

He returned her smile. “Thank you.”

“Mama Hiroko! You always know how to spoil us!” Viktor declared loudly. She served them their meal, even staying to help feed Nika. His mother filled them in on what was happening at the inn, saying that there had been renewed interest since Morooka’s article had come out. No one though had gotten their address. The locals had come to a silent agreement to protect them. 

None of them had anything to gain from keeping their address a secret, but it was appreciated all the same. Nika began fussing. 

“He needs to be put down for a nap,” Yuuri whispered. He began to stand, but Viktor was quicker.

“Please, let me. Spend time with your mother.”

He nodded. “Do you need to go home any time soon?” he asked. 

She shook her head. “Your papa and Mari can handle it.” 

Yuuri knew that they must have been worried about him if they were willing to let mama stay for a while. So they moved to the living room. He settled on the couch and pulled a blanket tight around him. His anxiety slowly becoming louder the closer they got to their scheduled meeting. 

“Your papa and I are so proud of you, Yuuri. You have grown so strong and have a beautiful family.” 

“I never imagined that I would be so lucky,” he said. “I’m scared though.”

“About what?”

He wrapped the blanket around him tighter. “That it’s all going to fall apart. That I’m going to mess it up. That what I went through will be too much for Viktor to accept. That I’m never going to feel safe again.” 

“Those are all valid fears,” his mother reassured gently. “But deep down you know that the only way it’s going to fall apart is if you stop communicating with Vicchan. I imagine he knows a lot about what happened and he didn’t walk away. He chose to stay with you and still chooses that. The second ring on your finger is proof of that.” 

Yuuri knew that. It did little to ease his fears.

“The more you let Vicchan in, the more you’ll feel safe. I know it’s hard now, but it will come. He is your safe place, just as you are his.”

 

-Viktor-

 

Their scheduled meeting time arrived far slower than he would have like. Anticipation drummed through his body, making it hard for him to concentrate on anything other than what could be. They dressed themselves in business casual attire. It was difficult to throw outfits together. They had left most of their belongings in Saint Petersburg and hadn’t felt up to shopping. So they made do with what was in their closets. 

Yuuri had asked for one of Viktor’s sweaters. His heart pounded at the thought of seeing his husband in his clothes once again. It was entirely too large, given his weight loss and smaller frame, but he was falling in love all over. His soulmate would bury his nose in the fabric, inhaling deeply whenever he thought no one was looking.

The move melted his heart. They settled in the dining room with a laptop. The Skype profile he had provided began ringing at four exactly. They connected. With a deep exhale, he braced himself for what was about to happen.

_I can do this._

The testimony lasted for hours, leaving him raw and hurting. Their therapy session afterward did nothing to make him feel better. Viktor laid alone in the master bedroom, sleep refusing to come. His mind consistently replaying everything over and over.

The sound of the door opening caught his attention. He felt his heart hammering in his chest. Gentle footsteps padded across the room. Soon, the other half of the bed dipped slightly. A warm body moved toward him. The distinct smell of Yuuri hit his nose. Tension began to melt away knowing that his husband had chosen to sleep in their room.

“Viktor?” Yuuri’s voice was barely a whispered. 

“Yes, love?”

“Could you hold me?”

“Anything you want.”

He snaked his arms around his husband, pulling the other close. Yuuri buried his nose in Viktor’s scent gland and began to inhale. Slowly, the two of them began to drift off to sleep.

It was the first time Yuuri had slept in the master bedroom since they had moved into their new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter @LadyMWrites
> 
> I'm sure that you all wanted some form of insight to the conference. I wanted to fit it in, but it didn't feel right. I will incorporate some of it in the future chapters. I think it needs to be told in a different way than just a bunch of dialogue. I'm just trying to figure out how to tell it.


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